Ok, so I am rewriting every chapter, because I literally just realised how bad some of the writing was. So this is the newly updated chapter with better English, grammar etc. Its still not perfect, but its the best I can do in my current state of mind. Please enjoy and review :)

Miss Buch xx


And I'm dammed if I do, and I'm dammed if I don't

So here's the drinks in the dark at the end of my rope

And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope

It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat.

Shake it out, Florence and the Machine


Emma woke up groggily, her head swimming in fog. Her eyes opened slowly and she saw a white tiled ceiling above her with a ceiling fan rotating slowly in the middle, doing almost nothing to cool or circulate the air in the room. She tried to move her arm to brush the hair out of her face but it wouldn't move. She frowned slightly as she tugged again and felt something restraining her arm underneath the thin white sheet, it was digging into her skin. It took her a moment to work out that she had been tied down by what felt like Velcro straps. She pulled against the restrains but nothing budged. She realised her legs were also strapped down as she tried to move those too. Her brow furrowed in confusion, her thin eyebrows almost meeting. Emma moved her head about to try and survey the room. It was a clean, brightly lit, private hospital room. The shutters on the windowed walls were all closed. She was getting more and more frustrated – she wanted to be out of here. The various monitors and machines she was hooked up to started to beep faster and louder. She started to struggle against the bonds that were holding her down. A moment later several masked men in scrubs hurried in a she continued to fight against the ties and her eyes widened in panic.

"Keep her down!" one of them shouted at the others

"Let me out of here! Why the fuck am I tied down?! Let m-" her shouts were muffled by a latex gloved hand clamping over her mouth. "No!" she tried to shout but the only sounds that came from her mouth were stifled grunts. She bit into the hand and the man swore loudly, using the bitten hand to hold her jaw while the other covered her mouth. Several more pairs of hands pushed down on her arms and legs after she broke one of the straps in her struggling. She was dimly aware of a sharp stinging sensation in her right elbow, the pain barely registering in her brain. Emma managed to turn her head to see a syringe full of clear liquid being emptied into her arm, a tiny spot of blood left behind once the thin needle was taken out. She screamed against the hand on her mouth and her left leg kicked its way out of the strap and knocked over one of the men, her heart thundering in her ears as she tried to escape. Emma could feel it happening again, her conscious mind slipping away and the fight or flight response taking over. She carried on fighting, using everything she had at her disposal, but she could feel her limbs getting her heavier and her head starting to swim again. No, she thought, trying to fight the sedative that the men had seeped into her veins. I can't…no…..Her bright blue eyes rolled in her head and she fell unconscious back into the bed, a little blood spilling from her mouth and staining the white sheets where she had bitten her tongue.

When Emma awoke the second time she wasn't alone. She opened her eyes almost hesitantly; her head was pounding with a blunt pain which was one of the nastier side effects of the sedative they had used on her. It took a moment for her eyes to clear and the blobs in her to vision sharpen. There was a man standing next to her bed holding a chart and staring at it intently, his clothes looking dark against the harsh whiteness of the room. He was probably in his mid-fifties; he looked fit and had a fair bit of grey hair

"Who are you?" she was cautious – she didn't want what happened before to happen again. His dark brown eyes flicked up from the paper her was holding to rest on her pale face

"Ah, Emma you're awake. I'm Dr Rosen. I'm here to help you" he said with a slight smile

"Could you untie me please? This is really uncomfortable" his kind eyes stared into her blue ones for a moment, searching for something, some hint of rebellion but he found nothing and undid the bindings that were holding her arms and legs down

"Thank you" she massaged her wrists a little as she sat up properly, her back stiff. The Dr sat down in a chair next to her

"Now, I'm sure that you have lots of questions to ask so I would like to you to ask them and then you can answer a few of mine so we are all on the same page" Emma nodded

"Where am I?"

"In a hospital in America"

"How did I get to America?"

"Some people that I know, but don't approve of, brought you here"

"Why?"

"Because of your Alpha ability"

"My what? I thought that was just some made up utube video that someone put up for a laugh"

"Oh it is very real. It is a mutation in your gene structure that has given you some extraordinary abilities" he stood up and started pacing, preparing himself for a short monologue on why she was this way. "In most people the brain produces dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine as what you would call anger. All hormones balance each other out so people brains are constantly producing these. All the levels are regulated to avoid mental health problems like depression or schizophrenia. Except for you. You produce a much higher concentration of certain neurotransmitters which don't dissipate like it's supposed to and the levels aren't regulated. It all comes at once or builds up over time which causes-"

"My episodes" she interrupted as the realisation hit her and her bright blue eyes widened. That explains it

"You gave them a name?"

"Of course I have – this has been happening since I was ten. I-I hurt my cousin so bad she was in hospital with a coma for a week. And I don't remember any of it. I only know because my parents told me what happened afterwards" she shrugged slightly, feeling the thin hospital gown rubbing her shoulders

"Has anyone tried to help you with this?"

"I've been taken to various psychiatrists, but none of them could work out what was wrong. They had to keep moving me about because I had episodes in their rooms and hurt them. I had blood tests and scans and all sorts, but everything came up blank. Some put me on medication but they gave me rally bad mood swings and nausea" the doctor sat down again, nodding slightly – he knew how nasty antipsychotic medications could be, especially when they were used on younger people

"Emma. I want to help you. But you are going to have trust me ok?" the girl nodded at him, still wary and unsure "A friend of mine is going to talk to you – she has a special ability as well. She's going to try to help you to remember. Ok?" Dr Rosen got up and opened the door – a tall, dark haired woman walked in. She looked nice enough, although the sharp planes of her face seemed to contrast with smile she had on.

"Emma. I'm Nina"

"Hello" Nina turned to Dr Rosen

"She's British?" he nodded. She frowned slightly then dispelled the look on her face. She took Rosen's place in the chair and held Emma's left hand. The girl flinched, drawing her hand away and then relaxed slightly, letting Nina hold on.

"Now Emma. I want you to think back a few days. We need you to try and remember what happened to make you come here alright?" Emma could fell the woman kind of pushing her thoughts "what happened during the day?" She didn't really want to answer, but the words danced from her throat without her own volition.

"Last week hadn't been great, I had an argument with my friend and I messed up one of my end of unit tests so I had to retake. My alarm didn't go off at 6:30 like it was supposed to so I missed my normal train to school. The next one didn't come for ages so I was late for school. I got shouted at by my teacher for being late. In my rush to get the train I left some of my homework behind so I got into trouble for that too. I got detention so I had to stay afterschool for an hour and a half when I was supposed to go out for coffee with a friend"

"What happened next?"

"When I finally got home I sat down to do some work but my dad came in yelling at me for getting detention again. He doesn't really understand my problems" Emma hand suddenly gripped Nina's and she winced, her body curling in on itself. She saw the images flash past her eyes – she was sitting at her desk, her dad was shouting at her, she had felt it coming "no" she whispered "please no!" she started shaking violently as she clawed at Nina's hand. Emma started to cry – big loud sobs wracked her body. Nina was crying too – she could feel all these poor girl's thoughts through their hands. She tried to pull her hand away but Emma wouldn't let go. Rosen moved forward and grabbed their wrists, pulling their arms apart. Emma fell back onto the bed, curling up into a ball beneath the covers, tears streaming down her face. Her amazing, supportive, wonderful parents were dead? She couldn't, wouldn't believe it. No, no, no, the chant went around her head over and over again trying to dispel the evidence that was sitting there in her own memories. She had killed her parents. Nina looked at the welts forming on her wrist where Emma had held her.

"Are you ok?"

"That poor girl. No wonder the DOD brought her over here. She wasn't having a good week. That day just made it worse and then she just snapped. That explains the repression – no one should ever have to remember that" she wiped her eyes with sleeve of her black cardigan. "So what now?"

"We take her to the office. I want her to meet the others – she needs to know that she is not alone and that there are others like her. Perhaps if I can help her work on her ability she might be able to control it better"

"Emma?" Nina asked

"No! I don't want to remember anymore!" she whispered from under the blanket, her voice hoarse and thick with tears

"Emma, please we want to help you"

"Don't you get it? I killed my parents! Do you know what that makes me? I can't go home or anywhere! I'm too dangerous" her body started to convulse with sobs again.

"Emma look at me" her voice was laden with her pushing power. A pair of red rimmed eyes poked out from under the blanket. "Sleep. Please" Emma tried to fight with all her strength but she felt her thoughts being over powered and she fell asleep again, the same images flickering past her eyes. I killed my parents.