Chapter 5

Show and Tell show off

The next morning, Bart and I got dressed and ready for school. When we walked out of the bedroom, we heard singing. It was coming from the bathroom. I peeked through the door, and it was Homer who was singing in the shower.

"Working 9 to 5. What a way to make a living, barely getting by. It's all taking and no giving they just use your mind and they never give you credit, it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it!" sung Homer. Then, I had an idea.

"Watch this, Bart." I said. I tiptoed into the bathroom and I flushed the toilet. Then Bart and I ran off as fast as we could. Homer stopped singing and he started screaming like a maniac!

"AAH! HOT! HOT! HOT!" he screamed. "Who the hell did this to me?!" We were laughing when we came downstairs.

"Excellent job, Lis!" said Bart happily.

"Thanks." I said. Then we went into the kitchen to have our breakfast. There were waffles on the table.

"Waffles! Alright!" we exclaimed. Then we started to eat them. Marge came into the kitchen with Maggie and Grandpa.

"Good morning, kids." said Marge. "I see you're enjoying the waffles I made for you."

"It's delicious, nice work." I said. Then I poured some more syrup on the waffles and then I handed it over to Bart.

"So what are you going to do in school today?" asked Grandpa.

"Show and tell. I'm going to tell my friends about the hole in the house." replied Bart.

"What a coincidence! So am I!" I said.

Suddenly, Santa's Little Helper came over to the table and tried to steal some waffles.

"Sorry boy, no waffles for you." Bart said, as he shoved his plate away from him. "This is a human food and you can't have it."

"Lisa, would you hold Maggie for me?" said Marge.

"I have to get Santa's Little Helper's food."

"Sure, Mom." I said. Marge handed Maggie over to me while she went to get the dog food. We continued eating our waffles until it was all gone. Then we placed our dirty dishes into the sink and went into the living room. Bart was looking at the telephone.

"Hey Lis, want to make a prank call again from Moe's Tavern?" asked Bart.

"Sure, but can I do it?" I said. "Of course you can. I have the perfect name for you." said Bart. Then he whispered something into my ear.

At Moe's Tavern, Moe was cleaning the counter when he heard the phone ring.

"Yeah, Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking." he said.

"Hello, is Bob there?" I asked.


"Bob last name Wire."

"Uh, hold on a second." said Moe. Then he turned to his customers. "I'm looking for Bob; Bob Wire. Is there a Bob Wire in the house? This is important!" he called. Then his customers started laughing really hard. Moe realized that he got pranked again.

"Hey, wait a minute. Bob Wire?! It's you again, isn't it?!" Moe barked. "When I get my hands on you, I'll put you in a cage and dump you into the lava until you go to hell!" Then I hung up the phone and I fell on the floor, laughing hysterically. The tears were streaming down my face.

"Lisa, you're laughing so hard that you're crying!" said Bart. "I know! It's so funny I could laugh about it all day!" I laughed. Then the bus arrived. I got up from the floor, wiping away my tears.

"Have a nice day in school, kids!" said Marge.

"Thanks, Mom!" we said. Then we said good-bye to Maggie and Grandpa. And Homer too, oops… I almost forgot.

When Bart and I got to school, I went into my classroom and I pulled out a drawing. It was me and Milhouse sitting on a hill watching the sunset.

"Nice doodles." said Ralph.

"They're not doodles," I replied. "They're sketches, but thank you anyway."

"Where did you get that drawing?" asked Chuck. "Milhouse drew it for me." I answered. Then I heard a voice. It was Ms. Hoover.

"Is everyone in their seats?" said Ms. Hoover. She entered the classroom. "I'm about to round the corner and good morning." We sat perfectly still and we acted nice.

"Good morning, Ms. Hoover." we said.

"Did you study for the JFK test over the weekend?" she asked. Then Janey raised her hand.

"Ms. Hoover, I'm not going to be here for the JFK test because I have a doctor's appointment to go to." said Janey. "I did study so is it okay if I can do it before the end of the day?"

"Sure you can. Now, today we are going to have our show and tell. Who would like to go first?" Ms. Hoover said. We all raised our hands. I went first and I got out my helmet and my goggles. When I put it on, everyone (except Janey) started giggling at me! "Shh." Ms. Hoover shushed. Everyone stopped giggling; then she pretended she was using a remote control. "Mute button. Mute button. What am I doing? I'm muting you. Lisa, go on."

"Thank you, Ms. Hoover." I said politely. "Well, for show and tell, I'm going to tell you about the most amazing thing that happened over the weekend. Some nice workmen in yellow helmets came to my house and chopped a great big hole in it." I was expecting some good comments; instead, I got the giggles from my friends.

"But they did, I'm not joking. It was so big I could see all of Springfield. Milhouse came over and he jumped through the hole." I explained, looking all agitated. Then all of my friends (especially Janey) exploded into laughter.

"That's enough now, Lisa." said Ms. Hoover.

"Ms. Hoover," I said, taking off my helmet and my goggles. "I'm not lying."

"Show's over. Please take your seat."

"Yes, Ms. Hoover." I went back to my desk, still agitated.

Meanwhile, in Bart's class, they were having show and tell too.

"Okay, who would like to go first?" asked Mrs. Krabappel. They all raised their hands. Milhouse went first and he took out his inhaler.

"This is my inhaler. It helps me breath better because I have asthma." explained Milhouse. "To do it, all I have to do is press this button and…" His explaining was cut, because he accidently sprayed his inhaler into his eyes. Then they all started laughing at him.

"AAH! I can't see!" screamed Milhouse. "My eyes! My eyes are burning!" He ran out of the classroom.

"Thank you, Milhouse. Who would like to go next?" said Mrs. Krabappel. Bart took out his yellow helmet and his goggles and went next.

"Now, today for show and tell, I'm going to tell you about the most amazing thing that happened over the weekend. Some workers came over to my house and chopped a great big hole in it." said Bart. Everyone started laughing at him.

"They did, I'm not joking." said Bart getting all agitated.

"We've heard of that one before." Martin said.

"Guys, this isn't a joke." Bart said. "Milhouse came over and he jumped through the hole."

"You're just making that up." said Wendell. Then Bart was starting to get pissed off. "NO! THIS IS FOR REAL! MILHOUSE WAS THERE! HE JUMPED THROUGH THE HOLE!" he yelled angrily.

"Bart! Take your seat!" scolded Mrs. Krabappel. "We do not shout in the fourth grade." Without answering, Bart went back into his seat, still pissed off.

"I wish I had a different teacher who would believe in me." Bart said under his breath, but Mrs. Krabappel heard him.

"I heard that!" she said madly. "How would you like to go see Principal Skinner?" Bart got out of his seat and stood on his desk.

"How would you like to kiss my ass?" he answered back. Then everyone gasped.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, BART SIMPSON?!" hollered Mrs. Krabappel madly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Actually, what I said was," said Bart. Then he got out a megaphone and put it on loud. "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO KISS MY ASS, MRS. KRABAPPEL?!" Then, Mrs. Krabappel stood there with her mouth open.

"Uh-oh, now you've really done it, Simpson." said Nelson, acting all surprised.

"Yeah, now you're in big trouble and you are gonna be so sorry." agreed Martin.

"Go to Principal Skinner's office, Bart." said Mrs. Krabappel, pointing at the door.

"Fine with me!" hollered Bart angrily. He jumped off his desk and headed to the door. "Lousy morons!" then he slammed the door hard and left. Everyone stood there in silence for a while, and then Mrs. Krabappel broke the silence.

"Sorry about that. Let's get back to our show and tell." she said. "Who would like to go next?"