-Disclaimer- I don't own any part of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. The rightful owner is, of course, the fantastic E.L. James. Thanks to her, I can fan-girl for a while in my own fantasy universe with her wonderful characters. No copyright infringement is intended.
-A/N- Thank you to all my wonderful readers! I hope you're enjoying the story thus far! It's taken turns even I didn't know it would! It has been an amazing journey, and I'm so glad you all are here with me! I love reading every review and PM, getting the notification for follows and favorites, and knowing that my story has had such an overwhelming response! I'm not sure where this story will end. I'm kind of going with the flow on this one! And once it's over, there is a sequel in the works already! I may take a break between them to work on another story that's been brewing in my mind, but I'm not sure yet. So thanks again, I love you all. Remember, reviews are greatly appreciated! Much love and happy reading! Also, a little bit of a lemon is ahead!
-P.S. A/N- I took my puppy shopping to Petsmart yesterday, and guess what I found? I FOUND FSoG THEMED PET SHIRTS! I kid you not! They literally had dog shirts that said "Laters, Baby." I ALMOST FELL OVER! I was so excited, and I was with my boyfriend, and he did not get my excitement. He looked at me like I was a nutcase as I pranced up and down the aisles clutching the shirt like it was the Holy Grail! My dog, Lexy, has spent countless nights with me as I read the Fifty Shades trilogy, so she is a fan by association! I HAD to buy her that shirt! It can be seen as the "avatar" on my bio page! Not only do you get to see my beautiful puppy (she's the cutest thing in the world!), you get to see the ravishing fashionista that is my dog strutting her stuff! I had to share that with my Fifty Shades fans! I knew if anyone would appreciate it, you all would!
-P.S.S. A/N- Sorry for the long author's notes, but I had a private message asking where I get my chapter titles from. They either song titles (several of them come Snow Patrol…a band Ana and I both enjoy immensely), or they are pieces of lyrics from songs. I am a music fiend! If anyone would like a complete list of songs I use for inspiration, let me know! I may include it in the next chapter? Also, I'm curious…it's been said that FSoG movie is hitting theaters next August. Who do you all see as playing Christian and Ana? I for one am all Team Ian Somerhalder for our favorite control freak (he is a yummy piece of man meat!). I am not sure about Ana though….sometimes I see Mila Kunis as being perfect for the role, but other times I like Alexis Bledel. I just don't know! Leave your thoughts on who should play Christian and Ana (and any other characters as well) in a review or PM! Thanks again!
Chapter 17: In the Morning, I'll be with You
I was anxiously watching my sweet Anastasia sleeping. Her slumber was all but silent; she was in a fitful rage. Nightmares were plaguing her, and of this I was so sure. My own nightmares surfaced in memory, and I felt the grip of anguish on my hardened heart. I had them for so long that I thought they would eventually diminish in their capacity to completely consume me. I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. Every time I had a fucking nightmare, it felt like the first time all over again. I was back with the crack whore and her pimp. Fuck, not now Grey. Don't fucking go back there! I sighed heavily; I was unsure of what to do with Ana. She was trashing in her sleep, and I knew I should wake her up, but she had just fallen asleep after crying the entire night.
I was sitting in her bedroom at Ray's house with her. I couldn't leave her, not after the confrontation with her psycho-as-shit mother. What the fuck happened to make Carla want to get back with Steven? I was so fucking pissed when Ana told Ray and me what happened at the psyche ward. It took all I had to not go and fuck something or somebody up. My body was feeling the familiar burn of being out of control. My anger was threatening to consume my entire being. When I would feel this way previously, I would brawl and pummel my way through the male species at school. FUCKING HELL! I couldn't deal with this anger right now. Ana needed me, but here I was seconds from losing precious control. Calm the FUCK down, Grey. Don't fuck this up!
I took a gasping breath as I tried to quell my raging soul. I was livid beyond anything I have felt in a long time. I wanted to take this frustration by striking something, but I knew I couldn't. I refused to go back there. I was a changed man, and that was thanks to Ana. I couldn't be that man…the brawler…again. I was the kid that fucked everyone up. I had no friends, no purpose, and no direction. I lived for the contact that fighting allowed me to have. Now, I have my sweet girl, and my need to brawl my way for contact was over. I reached over and ran my hand down her arm. I felt her shudder under my touch, and she seemed soothed for the moment. Her nightmare either subsided, or it was going to get worse. I needed a minute to go outside and breathe. As much as I loved Ana, I could not allow the rage rearing through my body to spill out.
I was feeling so out of control, and I knew this situation was one that could not warrant my control. Ana's mother was fucking crazy, and I was sure of one thing—if I came across Ana's mother, Carla, or that mother fucking spineless asshole, Steven, I would fucking snap. I wanted to do nothing but beat the fucking hell out of Steven; I wanted to carve him up like a fucking Thanksgiving turkey. Give him back a piece of the hell he inflicted on Ana. I ran my hands through my hair as I gently crept from Ana's room. As soon as I hit the steps, I flew out the front door. I took deep, gasping breaths of air. I could feel my tenuous grasp on my precious control slipping, and the feeling consumed my entire being. I snarled like a caged animal as I unleashed my pent up fury on a nearby tree. I felt the satisfying pain gnaw at my hands as I hit the tree over and over again.
The tears started to flow down my face, and I started sobbing uncontrollably. My precious Ana was in this fucked up situation, and I couldn't do a damn thing to make it better. I wanted nothing more than to the memory of Carla and Steven out of Ana's memory. My hands throbbed, and the splash of tears did nothing to soothe that ache. I looked down at my bloodied fists, and I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I was supposed to be better than this…I was supposed to have control not to do this anymore. But here I am instead, separated from Ana, battering a stupid tree. I was sitting against the tree when I saw Ray come outside.
"Christian, what's going on? Are you okay?" Ray asked. He was looking at me as I was a crumpled mess nursing my bleeding hands. I felt like a fucking idiot crying outside late at night.
"I don't fucking know. I can't help Ana. I don't know what to fucking do," I sobbed into my hands. I tasted the metallic tang of my blood, but I didn't care.
Ray sighed heavily, and sat down next to me. "Christian, you're doing all you can. This is a horrible situation, and the only thing we can do is be here for Annie. Carla is well…she's sick. She lived in that toxic environment with that monster, and the physical and emotional abuse she went through broke her. My Annie is a resilient young woman. That bastard's rage was turned on Annie most of the time, and he hurt her worse than anyone could have imagined. He scarred my baby girl, and I wasn't able to stop him. I have been wracked with this insatiable guilt ever since she came back to me. And then I had her move back in with her mother because I thought it would help Carla get over this. I was so wrong, and I put Annie in the crossfire. I will not make that mistake again. And if that bitch thinks Steven will get anywhere near her, I'll put a bullet through both of them."
I took a deep, shuddering breath. His words were a sort of balm for me, and I found some relief in the fact that he was in a similar place as I was. I also knew Ray was ex-military, and the threat of the bullet was not to be taken lightly. "I just don't want her to go through this. I want to make this all go away."
"I know, son. But Ana has something she didn't have last time. She has me. And she has a great young man who really cares about her. You were the first person she showed her scars to. You were the first person she willingly told without being forced by a doctor or therapist. She has changed so much in the last few weeks, Christian. That change was because of you. She was so excited about life…excited to have a boyfriend…excited to be 'normal' again. My Annie has been through a hell most of us can't imagine, and to see her begin to move on…to live again instead of just going through the motions…that's been the best gift I could have been given. You're a great thing for her, young man," Ray told me.
"She's been the same for me, sir. I did nothing but fight. I was a bad kid with a chip on my shoulder. I wasn't 'normal' either. I had a rough start to life, and I'm still dealing with that. Anastasia has been my saving grace, and I would never have been able to overcome the things I have without her," I said. My chest swelled with the emotion I felt for Ana. And now Ray and I were coming to this understanding.
"Enough with the 'sir' stuff. Call me Ray. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around enough," Ray said with a crooked grin.
"Alright Ray," I said, returning his smile.
"Let's get you inside and get your hands cleaned up," Ray said. I nodded, and we walked in the house. He turned on the cold water in the kitchen sink, and I placed my hands under the water. The harsh ache was mollified by the water. Ray grabbed a first aid kit from a cupboard.
"This is going to hurt a bit, kid. I have to get the splinters out, and make sure nothing is broken. Then we are going to clean it out so you don't get an infection," Ray said. He picked up my right hand and assessed the damaged. "You packed quite a punch there, Christian. That tree must be shaking in its roots," he said with a small laugh. He took a pair of tweezers and pulled out some of the splinters. I winced in pain, but I didn't say anything. I was the idiot who punched a fucking tree. After the splinters were out, Ray poured some alcohol over my hands.
"Fuck!" I yelped as I grabbed my hands. The burn was intense, but it waned after a few moments.
"All cleaned up. Let's get your hands bandaged out so it doesn't bleed all over my house," Ray said as he took the pristine gauze out of the kit. He quickly and efficiently wrapped my hands, and then secured it with medical tape.
"You're good at this," I said.
"Well, years of battle wound cleanup and scraped knees when Annie was little will train you," he said.
"Thanks. I better get going soon. It's getting late," I murmured. I dreaded leaving Ana, but I didn't think Ray would let me stay.
"Nonsense. You can stay here. It'll be good for Annie. You're always welcome here, Christian. On the couch though…you're welcome on the couch," Ray said.
"Thanks, Ray. I didn't want to leave Ana," I said. I flexed my fingers in their dressing, and the soreness was still biting. The gauze was starting to turn red, but I didn't want to bother with it.
"Alright, I'm heading the bed. I'm going to talk to Carla in the morning. I need answers, and I plan on getting them. There is an extra blanket in Annie's closet, and I will put a pillow on the couch for you. Goodnight," Ray said. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.
"Thanks again. Goodnight," I said.
I walked up to Ana's room, and she was in a peaceful sleep. I kissed her gently on the lips. She tasted like angels ought to taste, and smelled like summer rain. And she was all mine. She was moaning in her sleep, and I tucked the blanket around her tighter. I grabbed the extra blanket from her closet, and smiled at my sleeping beauty before I went downstairs. True to his word, Ray left a pillow for me on the couch.
Shit! I forgot to tell my mom where I was. I'm sure she could infer I was staying at Ana's, but I had to send her a quick text just to let her know I wasn't coming home.
*Sorry, mom. I'm staying at Ana's. She had a rough time with her mother. I'll tell you about it tomorrow…It's a conversation best had in person. Don't worry—I'm staying ON THE COUCH. Goodnight.*
I finally collapsed on the couch, and the weariness from the day was settling in. My soul felt heavy, and the tension that was tightening my entire being was finally releasing its bitter grip on me. I was closing my eyes, and all I wanted was visions of my beautiful Ana dancing across my dreams. I felt the world closing in on me, and the blackness took over as I fell into a deep sleep.
I woke up to the sound of cooking sizzling in the air. The smell of eggs and bacon beckoned me from my sleep. I rubbed the slumber from my eyes, and saw Ana cooking in the kitchen. For sleeping on the couch, I had a particularly restful night. I stretched my tired arms, and then I felt the familiar ache in my hands. The bandages were crumpled and peeling from my night rolling around on the couch. It was Monday, and thank God Ray let Ana stay home from school. I don't think she could have handled the fucking assholes at Seattle High, and I sure as hell wasn't leaving her side.
"Good morning, baby," I said as I walked over to Ana. She smiled up at me, and I kissed her luscious lips. I just wanted to keep tasting her, but she giggled that angelic jingle and pulled away.
"Christian," she admonished. "I'll burn breakfast if you keep distracting me."
"Fine," I conceded. I looked around and noticed another person missing from this scene…a person who would probably not be so keen on me making out with his precious little girl. "Where's Ray?"
Her entire body tensed up, and the grip she had on the spatula looked like she would snap it in a billion pieces. "He went to visit her," she spit out. I knew from that tone, she was talking about Ray's confrontation with bat-shit-crazy Carla.
"He wants answers, Ana," I said. I put my hands on her shoulders to hopefully ease some of the tension, and she saw the bandages wrapping my battle wounds from my war with the tree.
"Christian! What happened?" She shrieked. Ana grabbed my hands with so much tenderness and care that I thought my heart would burst at the seams. She peppered healing kisses over my knuckles, and moved to caress my fingers.
"I lost control. I was so overwhelmed with what your fucking psycho mother told you that I had to take my frustration out on something. When I felt like this before, I would usually pummel some unlucky bastard to a pulp, but I couldn't do that. I thought I was changed, but I guess I was wrong," I said. I hung my head in shame, and I felt the guilt from this betrayal weigh heavily on my battered soul. I'm a worthless bastard…I can't even control my temper! I fucking hate this! I am a no good—
I didn't have time to finish my self-loathing thoughts before Ana wrapped me in a crushing hug. For her petite frame, my girl was certainly stronger than she looked. "Oh Christian, don't say that! I am not expecting you to change at all! I love you…just the way you are. I would prefer that you not fight anymore because I don't want you to get hurt, but I love you. Don't forget that, okay? I know this is all out of control. I don't know what to do, and without Ray and you by my side, I would surely sink into some deep abyss."
I reach behind her and turn off the stove. I crushed Ana's lip in a searing kiss as I picked her up. There were no words that were needed, except five small words I let out in a garbled breath. "I love you so much." I lifted her up easily as I stumbled to the couch.
Ana's eyes were heating up, and I knew that look. I had become quite acquainted with it in the last few days. She wants you, Grey. I grabbed her by her hips as she straddled me. Her breath hitched as she felt my arousal rubbing against her. I threw my head back in pleasure, and she captured my lips in a heated kiss.
"Oh Christian, I need to feel you," Ana breathed out in a lush whisper. She kissed me harder, and her tongue was begging for entrance. We were battling for control, and I was only too happy to relinquish it. Ana broke the kiss to gasp for air, and she quickly moved to unbutton my jeans.
"Ana, are you sure baby? I want you…but you've had a hell of a weekend," I moaned out as I felt her delicate hand grab ahold of me.
"Shut up Christian. I need this. I need you," she said as she made short work of my pants. She yanked them down over my feet. I felt my erection grow even harder at her urgency. She pulled down my boxers just low enough to free my cock. "This is what I need," Ana said with a salacious smirk as she took me in her mouth.
Holy fucking hell! I nearly came as she looked me dead in the eye with my cock bobbing in and out of her beautiful, hot, fucking smart mouth. You would never know this was only the second time this beautiful bombshell had done this. I threw my head back in pure ecstasy…my blood was boiling with the heat of her mouth. She took me deeper in her mouth, and I felt the tip of my cock hit the back of her throat. She gagged a bit at the intrusion, but kept going like a fucking trooper. I have fucking died and gone to fucking heaven.
"Fucking Christ, Ana. That's good baby…so fucking good," I moaned as I threaded my hands through her hair. I thrust my hips in time with her sucking, and I knew I was close. She released my cock from her hot, wet mouth and quickly squeezed her hand around me.
"Sorry, mouth was starting to hurt," she whispered as she laid her head on my lap. Her beautiful blue eyes were watching her delicate hand as it stroked me up and down. At this point, I was almost too far gone to care if it was her mouth or her hand.
"Harder, Ana. So fucking close, baby," I managed to spit out through ground teeth. My hand was gripping her hair in a vice-like death grip, but the white, hot pleasure shooting through my body was limiting my motions. I felt my balls seize up, and I knew I was going to come. My legs were starting to lock from the tension, and I was going to come soon.
"Arrghh! FUCKKKKKK, ANA! I'M COMING!" I said in a loud screech. Ana's head shot up just in time to miss most of the mess, but I came all over her hand. Fuck me! I would never tire of coming at her hand…or mouth. She was a fucking goddess, and she was all mine.
"I'll be back," Ana said with a gentle smile. I gargled a response at her because I was still recovering from my orgasm. She came back with a towel and helped clean me up. I pulled up my boxer briefs, and she handed me my pants. She was trying to head back in the kitchen, but I grabbed her hand.
"Not so fast Ana. My God! You can't make me come like that without me getting to play with you in return," I whispered seductively in her ear. I felt her shiver in anticipation. I pulled her in my lap, and unbuttoned her jeans. Before she could protest, I slithered my hands in her pants and under her panties. Fuck, she was already dripping for me. Always ready for me, Ana. God, I fucking love you!
"Christian, oh," Ana moaned as I slipped my middle finger through her velvet folds. I knew I was fumbling, but fuck, I didn't care. I would be an expert on Ana's body soon, and I felt that there would be lots of practice in my future. I kissed the back of her neck and lightly nipped my way to her ear.
"Ana, I want to please you. If I need to do something else to make you scream, just tell me," I whispered in her ear as I licked the outer shell. I slipped my middle finger in her tight entrance and found her clit with my thumb. I knew I was doing something right when she arched her back and grabbed my hand.
"Right there, Christian. Just like that," she crooned her pleasure. I added another finger and put more pressure on her clit. I felt her nails dig into my arm and she warned me that I was applying too much pressure. I let up and slowly traced a delicious, wet, hot path around her clit and continued fucking her with my fingers. I was hard as a rock again, and I knew my erection was digging into her ass.
"Baby, oohhh! Yes!" Ana moaned. I felt her back arch to a nearly impossible angle and I felt her glorious juices drench my fingers even more. I heard her breathing hitch as she keened a loud, piercing moan and clenched deliciously around my fingers. She buckled from the exhaustion of her orgasm and I was on cloud nine. I loved the feeling of Ana's hot body clenching around my fingers as I got her off. I was the only one who had ever touched her like that, and I felt my ego swell twenty sizes bigger.
As we were in our own bubble, we both failed to realize the shrill smoke alarm was going off and grey fog was smothering the kitchen. "OH NO!" Ana yelled as she bolted off my lap. She rushed into the kitchen to the stove.
Realization washed over me as I immediately recognized that I didn't turn off the blasted stove. I had turned down the knob for the bacon, but not the eggs. I felt like a fucking idiot. I could have caught the house on fire because I was being a fucking horny bastard. Fuck, Grey! You keep fucking up don't you!
I was drawn out of my inner monologue as Ana's laughter rang out. She opened a window and turned on the ceiling fan to help the room air out. "That was a wonderful distraction, Mr. Grey. Let me warm up the bacon and make some more eggs. How would you like them?"
"You're not mad?" I asked tentatively. She smiled at me as she crossed the room to give me a gentle kiss.
"Never! I had a great orgasm and got to be intimate with my lovely boyfriend! Burnt eggs are not that bad. But if you had burnt the bacon, my God, that would have been a travesty!" Ana said with a laugh. I could no longer contain my mirth, and we collapsed in giggles together. Christian Grey…giggling! I never thought I would see the day. I scooped up my beloved and kissed her soundly on the mouth.
"Well then. I'd like my eggs scrambled. Make me food, wench!" I said playfully as I gave her a hard slap on her ass.
"Christian!" Ana said trying to sound undignified, but she failed miserably. She smiled again. "Scrambled eggs coming up, baby."
I just looked over at her, and I felt my heart swell again. How did a worthless bastard like me end up with this goddess? She was the light at the end of my tunnel, and I was running frantically to be encompassed in her sunshine. She loved me…I don't see how, but I would forever be indebted to the fates that aligned the stars for us to be together. She was finishing up breakfast, and I was caught in my daydream. I didn't know what the next few days would hold, but I knew I loved her more than anything in this world, and I would be damned if anyone or anything would try to take her from me.
-A/N- Don't forget to review! Reviews make my day so much better! Also, comment on who you would have play CG, Ana, and anyone else from the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy! And make sure to check out my cute model puppy, Lexy, in her fabulous "Laters, Baby" shirt. Thanks for reading! Much love!