VIII. Agony


Usagi woke to the sound of someone calling her name. She had been in her room for about 15 hours since she tore through her apartment. She hadn't moved since she lay down. She told Seiya she wouldn't do anything until he got there and she meant what she said, so she stayed on the bed where she was safe. Mamoru and Rei were outside in her apartment. Mamoru had got the door open somehow but she made them stay out of her room by threatening them. It wasn't fair to them the way she was acting but something was wrong with her.

The wildness she was feeling and despair wasn't all because of Mamoru and Rei. There was something else that was making her act weird and she didn't know how to explain it to them. She only knew that if they step foot into her room she would lose what little control she had found. She just needed Seiya to ground her. She needed him to let her know things were okay, even if it was a lie.

Fortunately her ex-husband and friend were smart enough to know not to come in. She looked to her pillow then finally answered the calls of her name. "Yes..."

"Odango. Let me in." Seiya said from the other side of the door. Usagi jumped to her feet and went to the door. She flung open the sliding door and threw herself into his arm with tears in her eyes. "Odango..."

Seiya was relieved that Usagi hadn't hurt herself, but he was a little wary. Her hand was bleeding and she had torn her apartment apart with rage. It was evident by the glass all over the floor that she had had some kind of breakdown. She was pressing her face into his chest with tears streaming down. Her words were incoherent but he didn't care about what she was saying at the moment, only that she was okay.

"Usako- Usagi. What happened?" there was the voice of the person she did not want to speak to or see at the moment. She didn't look at him, instead she kept her face against Seiya chest trying not to let the feelings of despair take over.

"Usagi..." Rei said gently prodding but this only made the small blonde flinch.

"I don't want to talk to you, please go away...please." she said feeling like the foundation in her life had dropped out again. The longer they were there the more she felt like she was back at that cafe facing a harsh reality. There was no icy rain but there was pain. There was a lot of pain that she could not take it anymore. The depression settling on her was disturbing. "Go!"

Mamoru and Rei were taken aback by her tone but inevitably left her with the Starlights. Seiya led her back to her bedroom and made her sit down. He went to the bathroom and got a bandage. Then he came back and tended to her hand. It wasn't a very bad cut but it was a bleeder.

Afterwards, he took off her boots and then coat making her lie down on the bed. "I want to talk to you but first I need to take care of that window and your apartment is a mess, so you lay here until I come back, okay?"

She nodded and laid her head on her pillow. Seiya was finally there so she could relax if only for a little while.

Seiya turned back to the living room and his friends who were looking at the mess. They had only saw Mamoru and Rei out. He sighed inwardly and doubt swamped his mind. This wasn't like Usagi at all. She wasn't docile but she wasn't someone that easily succumbed to rage. "You don't mind helping me?"

Yaten look like he was thinking for a minute but shrugged his shoulders. "This time around but don't let this be a recurring incident."

Taiki nodded in agreement and started to help Seiya and Yaten clean. It didn't take long with the three of them but as the night progressed on they could hear Usagi moaning out as if in pain. Seiya went to check on her but wasn't expecting to see her in such pain. Her hands were gripping tightly at her sheet and her face buried in her pillow. He went over to her and gently shook her but received no response at all. She only continued to get louder.

"Odango… Usagi wake up you're dreaming." he said and she did wake up but screaming to the top of her lungs. Her eyes were dull and she wasn't focused at all. As if she was still trapped in her dream. It was an agonizing look that marred her pretty face. She grasped at Seiya's shirt and continued to scream until she broke down into sobs.

Seiya observed her for a minute and then made her look at him. He held her chin in his hand. "Wake up, Usagi."

She blinked several times before she finally saw him. He had a sad look on his face and she didn't know what to say because she didn't know what was going on. "Seiya? What are you doing here so early?"

"I thought so..." Seiya said trying his best not to bear hug her because he felt like he needed to hold her closer. He could have lost her and it would have been his fault. Her dreams were like his and they weren't pleasant dreams. No, they were dreams that drove a person insane or to suicide. Yes, his Odango was affected just like him and he didn't know why. He didn't understand how she could have the same symptoms, when she never had come into contact with those monsters.

"Thought so?" Usagi was confused. She didn't even remember waking up that morning. Ami had come over last night and it was the last thing she remembered. She was fearful but she didn't want to ask just yet. She enjoyed the strong, firm hug she was receiving for Seiya.

"You need to rest. Just a little while longer and we'll talk. Okay?"

She nodded to his request and he left her alone to rest.

He went outside of the room and then looked at his friends and confidants. "She's having dreams."

Both Yaten and Taiki didn't speak but their expressions said all that need to be said.

"We should talk to her then. It's important for her to know what's happening and for us to discern how she could have been affected." Taiki stated and they all nodded in agreement.


Outside of Usagi apartment sat a mysterious person. Gold eyes stared at the sleeping blond from outside. A cruel smile played upon the person's face and soon a small laughter escape. It wasn't long before the planet under the protection of the moon was destroyed just like all the others before it. There was no force that could stop the things that were going to take place. This was the only place left that needed to be destroy and so like all the other planets it would take its last breath in agony.

"Sleep future queen and let the despair consume you and your wish."


Crystal Tokyo

Screams echoed loudly inside of a small room as a woman lean over the bed of her agonizing daughter. Tears streamed the woman's cheeks as she held her daughter's hand. There was nothing she could do to help her daughter. She was helpless and knowing that hurt her more than anything. Her child was in agony and she could do nothing other than sit there and watch as the child slowly died.

"Mamo-chan...We have to do something. Why is this happening? Why?" the queen asked her husband with a broken voice that had to filter through sobs.

"Usako...I don't know...I truly do not know why. Even if this it is taboo we must do something." Mamoru said looking at his queen who was on her knees by their child's bed. He hadn't seen her so distraught, her normal calm was missing and it was usually what help to anchor him. He was on edge since Chibusa began to feel sick. His little princess was alway health and when she started to feel bad he worried and then worry turned to fear. The young girl suddenly got worse to the point that she could no longer stand and writhe in agonizing pain. Her screams could not be quieted because she was literally losing her existence by the second. Mamoru could no longer allow their past to shape their future. He would save his daughter and he didn't care if he had to force those two. He would have his child and her mother. They would be happy. He would make sure of it.

"Usagi we have to. For our child we have to, even if it means paying the consequences. I will not let those two do this to us."

"Mamoru, but-"

"No! This is our child and I will not let them take her from us. Call Pluto...I will not let it end this way."

Usagi nodded and rose from her knees. Her husband was right. They could not continue to do nothing as Chibusa lay in so much agony. She could not stand by idly hoping that her past self would come to her senses, she could not wait for that. They had a say in their future and they had the right to fix their future.

Pluto arrived at her call and they spoke about the situation and even though they knew what this meant to interfere with the past they would continue the path that was chosen. They had no other choice.

"Please save her." Usagi said grasping the woman's hand like it was a lifeline. "I can't let her continue on this way. Stop them from making a mistake, please."

Setsuna looked at her knowing she would obey even if it was taboo. Chibiusa's life meant more to her than the laws that governed. Crystal Tokyo would fall to ruins if they did nothing.


Usagi woke up to the sound of Seiya calling her again. She forced her tired eyes open and looked at him. "Hmm..."

Seiya smile slightly at the half awoke woman that was trying her best to wake up. He could tell she was actually sleep rather than having night terrors. He sat down on the edge of her bed and gently brushed blonde strands from her eyes. He had taken her hair out of the 'odangos' she wore, while she was sleeping. Yaten and Taiki were still in the living room. They had cleaned up but now they were wonder how to explain what happen to her landlord.

"What happened?" she asked as she slowly sat up. Her body felt tired and for some reason it was hard to move. It was like she hadn't slept in days.

"You were having a breakdown, but it not entirely because of your situation."

"I don't get it?" she said as he helped her into a sitting position. "I feel tired."

"Of course you do. You haven't actually had a good night's rest for a while, I'm guessing. You may not remember the nightmare but you probably have had them for some time. That is how it starts with frighten nightmare you can't recall. Then it escalates to affecting your mood and mind." his fingers were still in her hair and he had to force himself to let go. He could still hear that broken voice.

"Did I try to do something stupid?" she asked vaguely remembering standing out on her balcony ready to jump.

"Yes. You contemplated jumping off a balcony." he said keeping his hand on the bed. He was so worried earlier and he hadn't had time to calm down just yet.

"So the dreams I was having made me want to...?" she could believe it. She woke up crying more often than not in the last couple of weeks. When Seiya nodded she began to ponder over the information. "How do you know this?"

"Kinmoku...it affected a lot of people there. Unfortunately many were not as lucky as you or me." his voice was different and Usagi wanted to comfort him. "There was another kingdom that rose in Kinmoku in defiance of princess Kakyuu, but that's a story for another day. For now we need to know how you became infected and if you still are. Since you aren't a native of Kinmoku you can be cured easier."

"Is that why you and the others are here?" she asked and he didn't answer. The pained look on his face was enough so she didn't pry. "It's okay. Really, you don't have to tell me. I understand. Right now is not a good time, so let focus on other things."

The smile that graced his face was so sad and broken that Usagi reached for him then stopped. She hesitated and for a change, she didn't know why. She let her hand fall and looked at the bed. If he noticed he didn't say anything. An uncomfortable silence set in and was only broken by a knock.

"Usagi, your landlord stopped by but we handled the situation, so you don't have to worry. He's going to get your balcony doors fixed tomorrow." Yaten said but didn't say anything else.

Usagi looked at Seiya who in turn shrugged. "He can talk his way out of most situations."

She smile and shook her head but deep down she was worried about something Seiya said. He said that she could be cure but he also said that he had been afflicted by the dreams as well. Did that mean those nightmares he had were related? Was he suffering? Was he feeling like she felt? Did he feel the despair? She wanted to ask but couldn't find the words because the look on his face made her go speechless.

He was looking at her with such a kind expression that was laced with despair and she knew he was in pain. Seiya was hurting but he was always there for her. He never even thought about himself. He had rushed all the way to Tokyo for her. That expression only made her want to cry because he was suffering and she didn't know. She had no idea how much pain he was suffering. She was so worried about fixing herself that she forgot about him.

How could she have done that? How could she leave him in so much pain? How could he not tell her? But she knew why it was because he wanted to protect her. Seiya always wanted to keep her safe and since Mamoru hurt her, he had become even more determined to keep her safe. She reached out to him and when he lean over to kiss her forehead she gladly leaned in to allow him. Even as a blush took over her cheeks she didn't let it bother her. This was one of their moments and she wanted it to be perfect. She would remember it forever.

It was the moment she realized she loved him. She truly loved Seiya. She would throw everything away for him. She wouldn't dwell on Chibusa because that was something she could not control. She had to let go and it would be hard but she had someone else that needed her. Usagi swore to herself to protect Seiya and the other lights, because he meant so much to her. She would find a way to help him even if it was the last thing she did.

One day she would tell him. She would tell him how she felt and that moment would be the true turning point of her life. Before that moment she had to settle everything with her friends with Mamoru and with herself. She had to give up the future through actions and not words. She had to change. For Seiya she had to change and become her own person again. The person she was before she learnt the future. She had to become Usagi again.

When he pulled back and looked down at Usagi, she smiled at him with sincerity, even he could see it. Something had changed in Usagi and it was something good because her smile was as bright as the sun. He couldn't help but smile back.

The blanket of despair had lifted, even if for a few hours.


AN: Thank you all for the follows and reviews. Please continue to encourage me. Decided to change up again. I'm sorry this story is just taking me where it wants to go. Remember Review if you like. It encourages me :)