A Very Jaded Halloween

(Slight Jade/Beck and Cat/Robbie.)


Robbie Shapiro was prepared for Halloween. He'd spent hours perfecting his makeup (male makeup, thank you very much), fixing his bald cap so that only a portion of his sprayed-white hair stuck out, and perfecting his robe so that it hung precariously over his shoulders. But when he walked into the school, he was immediately struck by the realization that he was completely and utterly wrong.

The school was filled with Jades, and not the precious stone, either. Jade Wests. They were everywhere, both male and female, girls with streaks in their hair and dark makeup, guys with eyebrow piercings and black clothing. It was almost as if everyone was some variation of Jade. Everyone except him and Sinjin, that was.

Sinjin waved hugely at him. "Robbie! Robbie! Over here," he signaled. "Guess you didn't get the memo either." He grinned.

"Um, no," Robbie replied, glancing around with wide eyes. "What's going on here?'

"There's a lot of Jades," Sinjin replied dreamily, the drool practically dripping down his chin. "My favorite day of the year."

"Oh," Robbie said simply, not really feeling up to conversing with Sinjin, who was wearing a costume that looked suspiciously similar to a squished tomato.

"I like your Nug Nug costume," Sinjin whispered in his ear, getting way too close for comfort, but when he spun around to look at the creepy boy, there was nothing there.

It was then that Cat bounded up to her, her normally red velvet hair now a deep raven streaked with sky blue. Through darkly lined eyes, she smiled up at him. "Oh my gosh Robbie, hi! You look so cuteee!"

"Um, you too, Cat," he replied, nervously returning her smile. "Um, could you explain to me why everyone's dressed up like Jade?"

"Becaaaause it's Halloween," Cat said in her 'duh, Robbie' voice. "I thought you knew! I mean, you don't usually dress up like an elf."

"I'm not an elf," Robbie retorted. "I'm Nug-Nug. You know, from Galaxy Wars. And I meant why Jade specifically?"

"Riiight," Cat replied, nervously twisting a piece of red hair around one of her too-tan fingers. "I totally know what that is! Anyway, we all dress up like Jade 'cause she's only the scariest thing we've ever seen! Only don't tell her I said that. She gets mad. But speaking of Jade..." Cat glanced around, eyes wide, "do you know where she is? I haven't seen her yet today!"

"I haven't seen her either," Robbie said, and he thought it strange. Jade wasn't really a big fan of Halloween, though she was a fan of scaring people (but then again, she did that on a daily basis). He wasn't all that psyched to see what she'd dress up as. A monster, perhaps, a victim of an accident, bloodstained with guts spilling out of a gash on their body, a vampire, blood-thirsty with deep, intimidating red eyes, an apocalyptic zombie, brainless but deadly...

"Oh, there's Jade!" exclaimed Cat happily, motioning over to the terrifying girl, who was dressed as...

A fairy?

"Jade!" Cat exclaimed, running over to the girl who was shrouded in pink. "Oh my gosh, you look so cute!"

"Yeah, don't talk about it," Jade muttered, rolling her eyes. "I had a feeling everyone was going to be dressed like I normally do, so I decided I'd shock everybody. And therefore I am a pink fairy princess." She gave a laugh, not her normal one, the one that she usually reserved for imitations of Tori. "I'm a fairy princess!"

"Lookin' hot, West," called a boy as he walked by, all guyliner (at last, Robbie wasn't the only one) and black fingerless gloves.

Jade just rolled her eyes again. "I gotta get to class," she told Cat and Robbie, then gave another giggle. "Daphne out!" she called, walking away, and Robbie swore he saw her wings flutter as she headed over to her scissor-covered locker.

Astounded, Robbie looked over at Cat. "Did that really just happen?"

"Of course, Robbie!" Cat chirped, elbowing him lightly. "I saw it too, I promise!" Then she, too, skipped off, leaving him alone to consider the fact that the world was ending.

Or something of the like, at least.

Once he arrived at Sikowitz's class, he took note of both Beck and Tori dressed as Jade as well, along with all the people that he'd never really bothered to get to know. With an exaggerated sigh, he sunk down into his seat.

"Hey, Rob," Beck greeted him. "Nice zombie costume."

"It's not a zombie!" Robbie protested, crossing his arms across his chest. "I'm Nug-Nug!"

"Who?" Beck's eyebrow creased, which looked odd, considering the fact that he, too, had guyliner on. His imitation of Jade was one of the best, perhaps tied with Tori's - Tori had acquired a wig that looked suspiciously similar to Jade's hair, but Beck's tattoos and piercings were right in place, which meant there was probably something to be said about the amount of time Beck spent staring at Jade. Robbie was quite sure that he didn't even want to know.

"Never mind." Robbie let out a sigh, sinking into his seat. "I can't believe that everyone's dressed up as Jade and no one bothered to tell me."

"Well, no one really told me either," Tori pointed out. "It's just kinda done. You were absent last year, I guess, when everyone dressed up as Jade, since the majority of the school agreed that she's like, the scariest thing ever."

"I thought you weren't scared of her, Beck," Robbie said pointedly to the dark haired boy.

Beck shrugged, a smirk gracing the edges of his face. "It's fun to mess with her," he answered softly, and Robbie thought that it would be hard for him to be more obvious about the fact that he was still in love with the terrifying girl. He also thought that he probably hadn't yet seen Jade's 'costume', if it could be called that, and that his reaction would be, by far, the most entertaining of all.

"Hey, isn't that Jade's shirt?" Tori inquired suddenly from beside him. Come to think of it, he'd definitely seen the girl wearing the red plaid shirt before, perhaps at a party or something?

Robbie swore Beck's face turned about ten shades of scarlet. "No," the boy muttered. "It was mine. And then... it wasn't, and now it is again." Though he wasn't entirely clear, Robbie pretty much knew what he was saying, and he thought that if Beck didn't go after Jade again soon he'd have to do... something.

Andre entered the room then, and Robbie let out another discouraged sigh. Like the rest of them, Andre was wearing dark jeans paired with a black shirt, plus combat boots that looked entirely out of place on his feet. Approaching them, he waved. "Yo, dawgs."

"You guys are really bad at being Jade," Robbie pointed out.

"And you're really bad at being an elf," Andre retorted in a sassy voice. "Where's that Christmas spirit, Buddy? Ho ho ho?"

Their argument, if it could be called that, was cut short by Jade's entrance. Immediately, the whole room fell silent as they turned to look at their Halloween inspiration, who, contradictory to expectations, looked as if she belonged in a music video about peppy fairies. She was flanked by jaded Cat on one side, who gave a cheery wave. In a falsely cheerful voice, Jade greeted them. "Good morning, children!"

Amused, Robbie turned to look at Beck, who hadn't yet removed his eyes from Jade. His jaw looked as if it was about to hit the floor, and his eyes were as wide as saucers. Though everyone in the room seemed shocked, no one else seemed quite as shocked as Beck. Good, Robbie thought with a small smile. Maybe this will finally get those two to get their act together.

Cat skipped over to plop down next to Robbie, and she giggled as Jade took the available seat on Cat's other side, the one next to Beck, whose eyes never strayed from her. She shot him a dirty look. "Like what you see, Oliver?"

"Fairy princess?" he choked out at last. Robbie kind of found it amusing how this overly confident boy could be rendered speechless at the sight of his ex-girlfriend dressed in a pink dress. Was that really all it took?

"Well," Jade said indifferently, "last year I didn't dress up, and then everyone showed up as me. This year, though, I made sure I wouldn't blend in."

"Yeah," Cat said with a grin. "You and Robbie both didn't dress like everyone else! That's so cool!"

Jade leveled him with a dirty look that made him want to pee his pants before saying, "Yeah, not really. I didn't know Shapiro here didn't get the memo and decided instead to dress up like Mercury."

"I'm Nug-Nug," Robbie protested.

Jade raised an eyebrow. "Nub-Nub? Just when I thought you couldn't get any weirder, Shapiro..."

Robbie opened his mouth, but could make no reply. Thankfully, Tori spoke up. "That dress looks really pretty on you, Jade!"

Jade switched her glare over to Tori. "Whatever. This is basically the color that appeared in the toilet that time when I had the flu and I got like, crazy sick."

"Too much information," Tori told her, looking slightly green.

Sikowitz sauntered in then, a wig of black curls upon his normally bald head. He waved at the class, doing a slight twirl and then a bow before taking the stage. Then, he blinked twice. "Either I'm hallucinating, or there's a room full of Jades in front of me, along with one elf and a fairy who... is actually Jade?"

"You're not wrong," Robbie offered up, "except for the fact that I'm NUG-NUG. You know, off Galaxy Wars?" Sikowitz still looked confused, though, so Robbie sighed and mumbled, "Never mind."

"So everyone else can see the fairy princess Jade then?" Sikowitz asked, blinking again. When everyone nodded, he nodded back. "Alrighty then. So I guess I'm just one of many dark Jades today." Absently, he twirled a black curl around his finger. "Let's do an acting exercise based off that! Everybody has to act like who they're dressed as! GO!"

Awkwardly, Robbie turned to Cat. "Ready are you? What know you of ready?"

"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK PROPERLY!" screamed Cat in response, which Robbie assumed was something Jade had said to Cat many a time. She then clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh no, I'm sorry for yelling at you, Robbie!"

Robbie just sighed. Beside him, Jade and Beck were involved in a deep conversation, or as deep as a conversation could get when one side was acting as a fairy princess and the other was acting as Jade West. In a faux-sweet voice, Jade asked, "Well, Jade, you can't know what magic is if you don't believe in it!"

"I know what magic is," retorted Beck, "and what I know of it is that it doesn't exist. It's utter bullcrap, all of it."

"But you just have to have a little faith right here," Jade shot back, her voice sweet as sugar, and with one pale finger, she poked Beck's chest. Transfixed, Beck stared up at her, and Jade returned his gaze till Tori cleared her throat.

"Actually," Tori pointed out in a 'Jade-voice'. "Your heart is on the right side of your body, idiots. You're all below me. Peasants."

Jade rolled her eyes, and in a low tone, said something along the lines of, "You guys are so bad at being me."

"You dawgs are so dumb," Andre agreed.

Jade face-palmed.

On the way out of class, a still-stunned Beck tapped Robbie on the shoulder. With a sigh, Robbie turned around. "If it's another comment about me being one of Santa's elves, I don't want to hear it."

"No," Beck said, sparing a glance behind him like he was about to reveal some big secret. "Is it just me or does Jade look hot?"

"Oh my gosh." Robbie felt as exasperated as Jade had before. Beck was incredibly blind, to the point that Robbie just wanted to slap some sense into him. "Look, dude, you might be dressed like Jade West, but you're not quite as upfront about your feelings. In other words, you still love Jade."

Still looking stunned, Beck halted in the middle of the hallway, giving Robbie leave to head over to his locker. Cat was waiting there. With a frown, she said, "I was trying to get into character and I accidentally made Sinjin pee his suit."

Even in the midst of obvious drama, Cat was still adorable. Patting her head, he said, "Cat, it's fine. A black cat would make Sinjin pee his pants - geddit? Anyway, you going trick-or-treating tonight?"

"Yeah," Cat said with a giggle. "Jade's taking me. You should come, Robbie! I have to get candy 'cause my brother eats it when we buy it and he goes really crazy." Her expression was solemnly adorable, and Robbie had to smile. He began to form an answer to her when he was cut off by a harsh screech.

"Get thee out of my way, peasants!" came the voice, and for a moment he thought that Tori Vega was still in character. He was close - it was actually Trina Vega, ripping through the hallway in dark clothes. "Thou art only worthy to die in a hole! Get thee out of my way!" Robbie had to wonder what century Trina thought Jade lived in. He wasn't aware that Jade had suddenly become the villainess from some 18th century novel.

"Um, Trina," Robbie said, trying to stop her by grabbing her arm, but she flicked him off and he tumbled to the ground. With a sigh, he let Cat pull him back to his feet.

"I don't think that's really Jade," Cat said solemnly.

Lunch was spent with Beck trying to stay away from Jade as possible, Tori and Andre trying out their worst impressions of Jade (and Jade, in turn, growing "I don't talk like that" under her breath), and Cat babbling on about how she was so excited to go trick-or-treating and how much candy she hoped to get. Robbie stuck mostly to appraisal of Tori's impressions (Andre's, however, he did not speak so positively of, probably due to his earlier sass) and amusing Cat so that the others could engage in normal conversation.

After a while of this, Jade cut in to Cat's speech. "What if, instead of trick-or-treating, I take you to freaking Mall Mart and buy you two big bags of whatever candy you like?" It was obvious that Jade didn't enjoy trick-or-treating half as much as the redhead did, and her facial expression just confirmed it all the more.

"No!" Cat protested with a pout. "That would take all the fun out of it!"

"Fun is overrated," mumbled Jade under her breath.

Cat turned to Beck then, a big smile on her face. "Beck! You should totally come with us. There's always room for more! Please, please, please!"

Jade, whose mouth was wide in open-mouthed shock, didn't say a word, and Beck looked equally as shocked. At last, he got out "Sure", perhaps the only word he'd spoken all lunch period, and Jade's pink mouth closed into a tight line. Robbie glanced back down at his food.

"Thanks for the invite, guys," jaded Tori said, stabbing at her salad.

"Yeah, man," Andre reiterated. "I mean, really. Jori and Jandre appreciate it."

Everyone ignored both of them, though. Cat nudged Robbie in the ribs, a signal meaning that this was all part of whatever scheme she'd dreamed up this time, and he exhaled in frustration, because none of Cat's schemes ever ended well. Especially when it came to Halloween. Last year, her Halloween bacon had half the school in the bathrooms (or so he'd heard).

Jade spoke at last. "Okay, seriously? Jori and Jandre? At least Daphne's a creative name."

"Well," Andre said with a solemn frown, "when a guy's dressed as a bitter teenage girl, there's only so many options for names."

"I still say you and Beck should've worn skirts," Jade replied, ignoring him. "I mean, really, here I am in pink with fairy wings. You guys could've worked something out, I'm sure. You've got the legs for a skirt." Tori nodded in approval, and Cat giggled.

"Now wouldn't that be an interesting Halloween," Andre remarked darkly.

"One dress was enough," Beck said.

"I know." Jade rolled her eyes. "I never could convince him to wear a dress."

Robbie was once again sure he didn't want to know.

"Look at all this CANDY!" Cat enthused, shoving her bag of sweets into Robbie's face. Her Jade costume hadn't won over many people, and at first many refused to give her candy, but once they realized that she was a bubbly girl dressed as a delinquent they were more than willing to relinquish their sweets. Jade hung a bit behind them, and after the fifth house or so, Beck did as well. They didn't seem to be engaging in conversation often, much to Cat's obvious dismay, but they weren't fighting either, and that was a step.

"That's a lot of candy," he told her with a smile. "Come on, cutie, you've got a lot more houses to go."

"Maybe I can fill my bag," Cat said with a grin.

They were approaching a crossroads, so Jade yelled from far behind, "Don't let Cat cross the road! She has to look for cars first!"

The most amusing thing about Cat's friendship with Jade, Robbie found, was that Jade, abusive as she may be, really did care for Cat, in the way that a mother would care for a child, and Cat took to it well. She halted at the road, waiting until Jade and Beck finally caught up with them, then squealed at them as they crossed with her. "Guys, look at that pumpkin! That ghost is scary! Whoa, they went all out."

"I could do better," Jade said with a shrug. "When I'm older, I'm going to scare kids half to death when they come to my house."

"Great," Robbie muttered, but Beck seemed to find it amusing. Cat skipped up to the door, her bag swinging by her side, and this time Robbie hung back with Jade and Beck, who were speaking in low voices but both wore smiles on their faces. He found it slightly suspicious, but did not deign to ask.

As they approached the next house, a glance back at Beck and Jade confirmed Robbie's suspicions. The two were engaged in some sort of small talk, smiles on their faces still, but what caught his attention was their hands, swinging between them, comfortably entwined. Nudging Cat, he whispered, "Caterina, look."

Cat spun on her heel, and upon seeing Jade and Beck, she smiled widely as well, but said nothing until they reached the next house. Once they did, she stretched up on her tippy toes to press a kiss to Robbie's cheek. "Happy Halloween, Robbie... or, should I say, Nug-Nug."

He grinned, but before he could reply, they were startled by two monsters jumping out of the bushes. All of them screamed (except, of course, Beck, who was practically a statue). The laughing monsters pulled off their masks to reveal a jovial Tori and Andre.

"Well, lovebirds, sorry to crash the party," Andre teased. "But we were feeling kinda left out, so we decided to make our own fun."

"Trick or treat and all that," Tori agreed.

Glancing over, Robbie saw Jade, who was tucked protectively into Beck's grip (a reflex reaction, he supposed, which was kind of adorable), glaring daggers at the two of them, but, nudging Cat, he laughed, and Cat laughed with him. Then Tori and Andre laughed, and at last Beck joined in, which almost made Jade smile. They laughed, all of them, the four Jades, the Nug-Nug, and the fairy, and Robbie thought, as he looked at Beck's arm around Jade, and Cat, who was smiling at him, and Andre and Tori, looking pleased with themselves, that maybe this was the way things were supposed to be.

A very happy Halloween, all right.


A/N: SO this was meant to be a friendship fic but Bade inserted itself in there without my consent and the Cabbie just happened cause I like when Robbie's happy ok yeah. This was written in like 3 hours sorry and I WILL update Ambiance soon but for the moment happy Halloween you're all fab yay.

Please R&R and don't fave without reviewing.