Rating: M

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.

A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word erection used repeatedly…

Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…

Song inspiration for this entire fic is In Your Room by the Bangles - yes I am that old and yes it is still that awesome.

Chapter 1 – Sex on Fire

Ungrateful. Unappreciative. Unappeasable. Undeserving. With each thrust, the adjectives that could be used to describe me were becoming more unpleasant and harder to ignore. I slowly opened my eyes to take in the sights and sounds of the room. My eyes first settle on the ensuing water damage from a burst pipe our freshman year. Given that I am on my back exactly three times a week on this bed, I can confidently report that there are 8 tiles that are severely discolored accounting for 27% of the ceiling damage – yeah, I have that kind of time down here. A Glade Tropical Mango candle is burning on the mini fridge as always – a clever aphrodisiac taken from his parents' basement; he is nothing if not thorough. Apparently, he has chosen Kings of Leon's Sex on Fire as the soundtrack to our afternoon delight. The music is just quiet enough that I can hear his low moans and the soft sounds of skin slapping. Oddly, the music is also just loud enough that I feel as though the Followill brothers are personally mocking me with their tales of wild exploits and smoking hot sexy times.

I am broken out of my thoughts by a soft groan and a palm gently seizing my left breast. His eyes meet mine expectantly and I take this as my cue to either compliment his sexual prowess or make some sort of declaration on how amazing our connection is. This isn't my first rodeo, so I go with the standard lip bite followed by an eye flutter, topped off with a reverent whisper of his name – "Mike".

We were Mike and Bella. We were that couple that you can't help but compare your relationship to just to see if you and your significant other measure up. High school sweethearts, we've been together for a little over 2 years. On paper we were nothing short of perfection. Off paper, Mike is nothing short of perfection. From nearly any perspective, I suspect that he would be the ideal man, mate, friend, husband or father. Physically, he is adorable with his all -American boy looks. Dirty blonde hair, brilliant blue eyes and a smile that makes you feel like it was smiled only for you. But more than just the dashing good looks – Mike Newton was good right down to the core.

I am certain there are countless adjectives that I could use to describe how wonderful he is, but in truth, they would never seem to do him justice. He is the kind of guy who would rub your feet as you recount your day from hell. He is the type of person who wakes up every morning thinking of ways to put a smile on your face or make your day better. He is the kind of man who looks on in awe at you as you come down the aisle towards him in your wedding dress with a smile that tells you that he couldn't be more proud that you chose to love him too. He is the guy who kisses you reverently and expresses how grateful he is that you gave him this most precious gift as he holds his newborn baby in his arms.

Once again I am snapped out of my haze by a deep groan and Mike gripping my hips just a little tighter. His thrusts come faster now as he buries his head into the crook of my neck. He peppers my throat with long, loud kisses and whispers, "Bella baby, are you close?"

That lets me know that I have T-minus 30 seconds and counting to join him in the promise land. Given that he has never personally escorted me to said promise land (or any measurable distance to it) – I decide a little When Harry Met Sally is in order. Another lip bite, shut eyes tightly, a panted "yes", a breathy moan, three kegels, a leg tremble and a firm ass grab sinking him deeper inside of me and voila – the Oscar for Best Simulated Orgasm goes to…Bella Swan.

After about a minute of afterglow, he slides off the bed and puts on his briefs. "That was amazing" he says, smiling.

"Yeah" I say, trying to match his enthusiasm. I think I miss the mark so I lie and add, "The best."

Our eyes meet and for a brief second his facial expression is one of suspicion. He is quick to mask it with a dazzling smile – the seemingly errant thought forgotten for which I am grateful. As we dress, we go over what we have going on for the week and make plans to have lunch after class the following day. I slip on my backpack and turn to kiss him goodbye.

He catches me off guard when I turn to see his hesitant expression. "Bella is - is everything alright?" he quietly asks. Then, as he steels himself to meet my eyes he finishes with, "You seem a little off. Preoccupied or something..."

I suck in a breath and start shaking my head furiously. I try to give him a reassuring smile, though I am sure it comes out looking like a grimace. While I try to come up with an excuse for my preoccupation that wouldn't make him want to slit his wrists, my inner whore condescendingly offers her thoughts. Hmm… Uh, yes, Michael. I am a little off because my boyfriend is absolutely clueless as to how to pleasure me in the bedroom. He is blissfully unaware that I am utterly unfulfilled and doesn't take kindly to hints of foreplay or other positions. How about instead of telling me how beautiful and amazing I am, you show your appreciation by grazing a nipple or acknowledging the fact that I have a clitoris. She's a bit harsh, so I opt to err on the side of kindness.

"I'm sorry Mike – I guess I am a little out of it. I didn't sleep well last night." I lie again. "No worries, baby."

Relief washes over his face as he steps forward to place a reverent kiss on my forehead and rubs his hands up and down my arms reassuringly.

Naturally I lean into his embrace. It's warm and familiar, easy as breathing. It makes me hate myself more for dwelling on it not being enough. When did I become so selfish? I need to get out of here before I can work myself further down the shame spiral. Just as I am about to make my getaway, he tips my head up and places an eager kiss on my lips. There is something different about this kiss and I can't seem to put my finger on it. This kiss is fervent, but hesitant – like it is searching for something. Surely I am overanalyzing this right? I try to match his enthusiasm to reassure him and myself that this too shall pass. We end the kiss with soft pecks and loving smiles.

"Alright, I need to get out of here so I can read a chapter before my next class. Tanya is probably wondering where the hell I am. See you tomorrow for lunch?" I say while secretly praying that he takes note of my hopeful inflection as opposed to my awkward exit strategy.

"You have Human Sexuality after this right?" He chuckles and continues, "I'll bet Tanya is never late to that class. She could probably teach it." He raises his eyebrows a couple of times just to make sure I caught on to his subtle, like a rock, back handed compliment.

I roll my eyes and shake my head and begin, "Mike…"

"I know, I know" holding his hands up in protest "She's one of the best people you know, good heart, good friend, I get it." he defends himself before I can read him the riot act.

I draw my lips into a hard line as I pull the door knob letting him know that his little retort didn't excuse the shitty commentary on my friend.

"Have a good day, Mike" I manage to spit at him in the most biting tone I can muster as I turn to walk out the door.

Three steps into the hallway, Mike leans his head out of his door way and calls me, "Bells!"

I turn to find him sporting a somewhat more remorseful expression.

"Really, I am sorry. I know she is a good person and I know what she means to you. I was really just making an awful joke. Forgive me, babe?"

I give him a curt nod, a short wave and a half-assed smile as I make my way down the hallway of his dorm. Thankfully he drops it. That was another great thing about Mike - he didn't hover.

A/N… We'll meet Edward next chapter and learn a bit more about Mike's sexual shortcomings… Poor Bella, there is nothing more sad than a good guy who's bad in bed.

Fic Recs – Anything written by LovinRob and/or AmandaC3. Between the two of them, their writing has made me laugh hysterically, cry hysterically, happy, sad, crazy horny, crazy angry, and last but not least (LovinRob) – knocked up with twins after agreeing to a vasectomy! Nothing says good fic like an accidental pregnancy, right?

I plan on posting on Thursday and Sunday evenings so if you're down for Edward and Bella to hop on the good foot and do the bad thing - please put this story on alert.

Thoughts go out to those affected by Hurricane Sandy - hope you are all safe and well!

Feel free to hit me up with a review if you like! Thanks for reading!