A Killer's Heart and Darkness

Author: Killua *V*, Killua kiken na, or my other kiedo name: XPKoganei4XP

Dedication: All fics go 2 Mami-San and Jenny-chan, who r my inspiration. This also goes out 2 Kevy-kun who is my beta-reader and best Truten luver , Michiki (my encouragement), Lizz (my angel luver ^_^), and Shane (my fellow HXH obsessee.)

Rating: R (maybe)

Warnings: This fic is SHOUNEN-AI and has some DARK themes in it. There's soon-2-be kawaii-ness b/w Killua and Gon, but NOTHING graphic. There IS, however, some lil Gon-abuse (heeheehee) and violence.

Pairings: Killua+Gon (sorry, no KurapikaXLeorio-they barely even show up in this) and OCXGon. (NC)

Disclaimers: Yeah, I own 'em. All 62 eps (need the OVAs T-T.) YAY! DVDs! Ummmm, .....originally, though? ......Naw, it aint me.

Notes: *this fic has some spoilers* I used some of my favorite scenes of parts 2 + 3 and put them 2gether! I, also, added in and changed alot of stuff. The plot is ALL mine, as well as the OC and a few other ppl. Some of the original names I couldnt spell, so I used the names that sounded like them (since the subbed names r CHINESE, not JAPANESE.) Hanzo is the Shinobi soldier, Jin is Gon's dad, Silva is Killua's dad, and Wing-san is the Nen teacher. I think I got the other names right. There's alot of ppl who think Killua is really spelled like "Kirua", but that IS wrong. On a scoreboard at the "Sky Arena", when Killua was fighting, his name was shown as "Killua", so there ya go.

This story takes place AFTER Gon and co. (except Killua) got their Hunter liscences, and when Kurapika and Leolio parted ways. This fic mainly focuses on Killua and Gon. P.S.= yeah, this WAS under my XP name, but FF.NET erased the fic and I didnt wanna get rid of all those nice reviews, so I just made a new account. I will still update on XP but if THIS shows up in the HXH section, Im gonna update on THIS account 2. I'll put all my other fics on this as well. ^_^

Key: "speech"

*emphasis and little actions like coughing, etc*



[ ] translations for- at the end

( ) my notes (if any *grin*)

____________________________________________________________________________ _________

XP ^_^ *V*

Trailing slightly behind Killua on the landing platform outside the airport, Gon recounted all the events that had happened just moments before. He felt a trivial amount of sadness as he remembered his and Killua's parting from Kurapika and Leolio. Kurapika had boarded his train, while Leolio caught his flight, both intent on meeting Killua and Gon in the middle of New York City in America, sometime in September. They had their own reasons for going, but Gon saw it all as a big reunion. He happily realized....... it was a reunion of friends.

His sadness altogether disappeared as he, also, remembered who he was with, who he longed for, and hoped he would *always* be with.......forever.

A pale finger suddenly interrupted his thoughts, along with the annoyed, SDed face of his best friend, Killua, of the infamous Zoldikk assassin family.

Killua blinked repeatedly in curiosity, letting his finger move foreward to touch the tip of Gon's nose. "What are you thinking about?"

Gon smiled brightly. "N-Nandemonai." Killua smirked, "Baaaaaka," and turned around. "Like I was saying.......we need to find an air balloon or blimp or something. The place is pretty high up in the sky......."

"Ne, Killua.......?" *silence* "Where are we going?"


Killua instantly facefaulted; he twitched as he picked himself back up. ".......*TO*.......*THE*....... *SKY*.......*ARENA*,......*GON*," he grated out between clenched teeth.

"Eto.......naze?" Gon smiled, hesitantly. "I thought we could relax now......."

Killua whirled around suddenly, causing Gon to stop walking. His face SDed, 'til all Gon could see were two eyelids shut in an upside-down crescent shape, and two tiny, sharp fangs poking out of a wicked grin.

"Omae.......! You're gonna *train*! How can you defeat Hisoka the way you are now when you're as weak as a kitten?! You need to get stronger, and the Sky Arena will do that." He walked over to a twig and picked it up. "Oi, kotchi. C'mere for a second."

Gon obeyed.

Killua started to draw in the sand with the stick. "This is Hisoka," and a face a few inches to the right of him, "This is Hanzo.......You fought Hanzo and know how powerful he is."

Gon nodded, smiling. "Un!"

Killua narrowed his eyes in an annoyed glare but continued. He connected the drawings together. "As you can see, Hanzo's not far behind Hisoka in power, but.......this is *you* compared to Hisoka." Killua made a line from Hisoka and dragged it along in the sand as he walked.......and walked.......and walked.......and still kept on walking.

Gon's jaw dropped. Killua was merely a few inches in the distance! His eyes twitched as he yelled, "Ne, Killua.......?!"

"Nanda?" Killua called back.

"Where are *you* compared to Hisoka?"

"Me?" Killua made his way back with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Hmmmm.......lemme see......." He looked at the drawings of Hisoka and Hanzo. "Ah!" Ever confident, he drew a line between the two, then folded his arms in a "high-and-mighty" manner. ~I'm so conceited.......~, he thought with a grin.

A loud exclamation interrupted his thoughts.


Killua quickly looked over at Gon, while unfolding his arms and turning partially SD. "Nanda yo.......?" [1]

Gon was looking intensely at Killua, grinning excitedly. "You're stronger than Hanzo!"

"Yeah, so?"

Gon's grin loosened to a pure, worshipping smile; his eyes grew round and sparkled, as he said in a half awe-struck/ half soft, praising voice, "Killua sugoi ne...."

"N-N-Nani?!" Killua's eyes widened and he blushed, but turned around before Gon could more-than-happily repeat his statement. "*cough* ....Don't say stupid stuff like that-it's embarrassing," he huffed, then started to walk away.

Gon was still looking on in wonder, and when Killua turned around to see if he was following, he grinned widely and ran after.

As they headed off in the direction of the blimp, Killua snuck a quick glance at Gon, letting a rare smile slip, his eyes twinkling with a warm affection that no other living thing could muster out of him.

The blimp was HUGE! It was the kind Goodyear used for their companies, or the ones that football games always sported off to the fans. A thought popped into Killua's head, making him stop instantly and sweatdropping. Expenses always came with size......

"Errrr....Gon, do you have any money? Heheheheh...."

Gon blinked, thinking. "Noooo....but....OH! Hora!" He grinned widely and whipped out his Hunter's license. "Remember what Kaicho-san said? This can get you almost *anywhere*! It should take care of everything."

They ran up the blimp's ramp and approached the owner, who was sleeping....O.O....and snoring. Gon smiled hesitantly, and tapped the burly- looking man on the shoulder. "Ano....?"

"....*grumblegrumblegrumble* HOOOO!!!!" The man jumped with a start and lept to his feet. Killua noticed the guy went into an automatic fighting stance, clearly implying that he was a somewhat skillful fighter....if a little lazy.... Gon had eeked and was now standing slightly closer to Killua....not that Killua was paying much attention to that, of course....(A/N: Naw, of *course* not ^_^)

The big man relaxed as he saw the two. "What do you....?" His voice trailed off as he stared closely at them. Gon didnt take much notice of this, though.

"Sumimasen! [2] We were wondering if we could rent your balloon for the day!"

At first, he thought the owner didn't seem to hear him, but then the heavy- set man finally asked slowly while still staring intently at them, "Where are ya headin'?"

Gon looked over at Killua, who smiled a little encouragingly, before answering, "*grin* To the Sky Arena, Mr. ..."

The man finally focused his attention on Gon. "Fusen. Call me Fusen."

Killua snickered, but Gon went on smiling brightly. "Un, Fusen-san! Can we rent your blimp, then? Onegai?"

Never in his right mind would he have allowed two children up in his balloon. In fact, his strongest urge was to refuse right there and then, but he turned his gaze to the silver-haired boy, the one that gave off a most powerful and dangerous aura, the one whose gaze simply stated: Refuse us and *die*. Fusen's response was fueled solely on wariness....and curiosity. "....Aa."


Killua merely folded his arms. He grinned, though, at Gon's happiness.

They were in the air an hour later.

Killua and Gon leaned over the side of the hot-air balloon (they had been corrected by Fusen to call it that instead of a "blimp") and excitedly peered at the view below. The airport and its runways had just left their sight, as if to allow the rest of the city to show off its immaculate beauty. Gon was practically leaning half-way out the balloon, itself, trying to glimpse the whole view. Even though Killua did not want to submit to the unfamiliar feeling, he was very wary to let Gon out of his sight, mostly from....fear....that Gon would suddenly lose his balance and fall over the side. It took every ounce of his willpower not to just rush over to him and yank him back over the side and into his arms.

"Waaaaiii! Mitte, mitte![3] The city's so *big*! How can you get so used to it, Killua?!"

Killua shrugged, "Doremo da [4]. Every city looks the same to me, cause I've *lived* in one. *You're* just not used to it."

Gon turned to look at him and stuck out his tongue.

Killua scowled in annoyance and proceeded to mock-strangle him. "Omae na....!"

Not dangling that much over the edge anymore, Gon giggled crazily.

Fusen quietly watched the two from the other side of the balloon, silently thinking to himself.

~They get along so *well*. Dare I call them....tomodachis?~ He looked closely at Killua. ~No....If he's who I think he is....No, never would I associate him with something so humane as friendship. Zettai ni.... ~ Fusen shook his head free of its thoughts and started to head over to the other side of Gon.

"Is the Sky Arena *really* in the sky, Killua?" Gon was asking. "*Honto?*"

Killua nodded, smiling. "Aa! *Maji* honto!" [5]

Gon widened his eyes and looked out over the city, balancing, yet again, on the rim of the balloon. "Sugeeeeee! ....Doko? Where-ACCK!" A sudden meaty slap had him almost tumbling over the side!

"GON!" Killua's hand instantly shot out and steaded the gasping boy. He whipped around and fixed the balloon-owner with the fiercest glare that he was known for. One command seeped into his vision before he could restrain it.

*KOROSE* [6]

His right hand reflexively tingled before he could stop it, but he forced down the urge that practically blared throughout his mind.

"Uhh....gomen, gomen"Fusen rubbed the back of his head nervously and patted Gon more gently. Killua's eyes grew so dark at that action, however, that Fusen hesitantly stepped back before pointing out over the city. "See there?" He indicated towards a tall, silver shape in the distance. "See the building that touches the clouds? *That's* the Sky Arena. Quite a sight, ne? Hehehe...." He laughed nervously, still wary of the child that was most certainly who he thought he was.

"Un!" Gon smiled, unaware of the silent battle that waged behind him.

Fusen continued to back away, watching Gon obliviously marvel over the city again and Killua keep his eerie gaze fixed on him, threatening more with eye contact than with anything else.

~Masaka ~ he thought, amazed. ~Demo....it is! This child....this *killer* of that cursed family has made a....a....friend?~ he watched the two again as Killua turned back towards Gon. Fusen concentrated mostly on the actions displayed between the two. He was shocked to see....patience, kindness, and even *gentleness* being poured from the silver-haired boy to the smaller, dark-haired one. An affection that seemed to be the two's only strength against their upbringing and heritage.

~Could this rare affection be called ....~

Killua grinned widely while resting his hand gently on the top of Gon's spikey hair. "I just *cant* understand you!"


"Ne, Killua? They wont seperate us when we get there, will they? I know I'm not as strong as you, so...."

Fusen saw the worry etched on the spikey-haired child's face. ~A bond formed with a member of *that* family?!~

"Iie! Daijobu," Killua assured. "Wherever you go, I will always follow."

~Uso! A Zoldikk capable of *love*?! To a creature much weaker than himself? This cant be right!~

The two boys smiled at each other, then looked out over at their approaching destination.

~It *is* true!~ Fusen thought, amazed. ~ A Zoldikk and....love....~ He continued to watch them in wonder.

When they finally touched down onto the landing area, Gon literally bounced out of the balloon and down the platform. He was practically dragging his trudging, nonchalant best friend behind him.

"*sigh* Yare, yare. [7] I can walk on my own, ya know, Gon."

"Yeah, but you walk as slow as Leorio."

"Eeee...!" Killua made a swipe at Gon, who just danced away, laughing and grinning. Killua gave chase.

Fusen watched them zig-zag all around the entrance of the Sky Arena, smiling mysteriously. He was still amazed. He looked up at the grand entrance of the place, entranced with its size and consumed with the onslaught of memories-both bad and good. As a lad, he remembered a time he would have *killed* just to *escape* the arena; these boys seemed happiest taking part in it. Fusen shook his head again and turned, looking for the two. He spied them tumbling around on the cement walkway, scuffling, pretend-strangling, and giggling gleefully. Gon seemed to be still widely grinning as he received blow after blow from a....Fusen sweatdropped. REPEAT: ....he received blow after blow from a neko-version Killua. "Oi, boys," He called out. "This is where we part!"

Gon ran up, smiling with a scowling Killua behind him.

"Honto ni, Arigato *again*, Fusen-san! Thanks for the ride!"

"Iye," Fusen laughed, shrugging off the thanks. "I should thank *you*!"

Gon smiled on, not asking what the man's words meant. The two shook hands, but Fusen immediately made a bee-line for a wary Killua. "I want to thank *you* most of all. I seem to be learning something new everyday, and *this* just got added on for today," he grinned, as he held out his hand.

Killua still glared suspiciously, but offered his own hand, too. They shook; for what reason, Killua did not know.

"Yoshi! I hope to see you two again soon!" Fusen yelled behind him, as he started for his balloon. "Oh! By the way.......," he turned back and looked at Killua, smiling widely, "Take good care of him, gaki!" With that said, he turned back around and was off.

Gon's head suddenly popped into Killua's view. "Nani? What did he mean by that, Killua?"

Killua had been blushing so deeply that he instantly turned away and started speedwalking to the entrance of the Sky Arena. "B-Betsuni!" [8] He called out over his shoulder. "Oi, Gon! C'mon! We're gonna be late!"

"Ack! Matte, Killua!" Gon hurried to catch up.

The Sky Arena really did seem to reach the clouds. The building was *huge*, new-aged looking, and silver. It was one of the most amazing things Gon had ever seen.

The high arches of the entrance loomed in front of them as they wondrously walked through towards the large, silver door. Just as Killua was about to reach out and grasp the metal loop handle, Gon darted forward, seized it, and pulled it open with little effort. He stepped back, bowed, and ushered an arm out to his side, towards the lit area within the arena. "After *you*," Gon grinned.

Killua's first reaction was to step out of the way from whoever Gon was being so polite to, most likely a woman that might, per chance, be waiting behind him to enter, but he just *knew* that there was no one else around them outside. Gon still waited patiently, his hand indicating toward the empty hall just beyond the door.

~Me?~ Killua's eyes widened, and he could feel a blazing heat rush towards his cheeks again. ~Naze? *Why* is he always so nice to me? Naze?! All the things I've done, all the people I've killed, Aniki foretelling I would destroy him (Gon) one day, and he *still* holds a door open for me?! *WHY*?!~

Gon started to look up, confusion beginning to etch across his face.

Killua decided to hide his inner turmoil well. He rushed forward, slapped Gon away from the entrance door, and pushed hi m towards the dimly-lit hallway before them. "Iie! After *you*, Gon. After *you*!"

"Aack-Itai!" Gon semi-glared at his laughing best friend before running forward. "Hee! Catch me if you *can*, Killua!" He darted down the hallway.

"Huh? Aah! Chotto matte, Gon!" Killua stopped then suddenly grinned. He lept forward with a new speed. The chase was on.

~Yada, Aniki. Chigaiyo. Ore no ichiban tomodachi o korosu ja nai. Tondemonai!. Ore wa su-....[9 ]~

The door closed behind him.

**************************************************************************** *******


[1]: Nandayo- What is it? (This is the EMPHASIS form of it. I dont know if u would drop the Y and put an I, so thats a lil shaky.)

[2]: Sumimasen- Excuse me

[3]: Wai! Mitte mitte!- Yay! Look! Look! (Its the comand form of miru)

[4]: Doremo da- It's nothing. (Da is the It's)

[5]: Aa, maji honto- (U all know what honto is so....) Yes, really truly

[6]: Korose-Kill! (this is also the command form of Korosu)

[7]: Yare, yeare- Geeeeez (it's like Taku, meaning geeeez, o great, etc.)

[8]: Betsuni- (again, this means....) nothing

[9]: Yada, Aniki. Chigai yo. Ore no ichiban tomodachi o korosu ja nai. Tondemonai! Ore wa su- No, Aniki, wrong. I will not kill my best friend (number 1). Never! I lo-

Sorry my fics take a while. I got reasons XP But IT'S DONE! CHAPTER 1! YAY!!!! U can review if u want-Im not gonna force u *grin* Email me if u wanna....*shrug* This was originally put up in ff.net, so if Im talking to ppl u dunno, dont be freaked. By the way, ur screwed if u dunno Nihongo (Japanese) Jap. is used, tho, in the next chaps. I spared u from my obsession *grins* *V* ato de!