Synopsis: Afraid that his dreams of Usagi dying will come true, Mamoru ends the relationship to save her, but his efforts will all be in vain when he finds out the truth; Usagi is slowly, but surely dying.
Author's notes: Before I go on with the story, let me express my gratitude to those who took the time to read the story, and most especially to those who left their comments. Special mention to:
James Birdsong: Thank you!
AM: Not all women get angry upon waking up from that kind of dream, but for those who do, I guess dreams play a vital role in determining a person's mood for the entire
devilsangels11287: Here's the next chapter ^^
LoveInTheBattleField: Thank you! I hope you'll like this chapter too.
Manga-fan-99: It's okay if you can't spell. It's the thought that counts ^^
Chapter 1: Unwanted Surprise
The smell of disinfectant and white walls never really appealed to the young blond student who sported the most peculiar hairstyle you have ever seen; two dumpling-like balls of hair rested on either side of her head while the rest of her golden hair fell freely like liquid gold. Her cerulean eyes scanned every inch of the office, taking note of the details. Her fair, porcelain like skin seemed to radiate at the touch of the sun's light. Her black leather shoed feet fidgeted nervously. She had proportioned body of a fully developed woman which was hidden underneath her school blouse with blue sailor collar adorned with white stripes, scarlet bow and knee-length navy blue skirt.
Usagi Tsukino never liked being in a hospital, even in a doctor's office. It reminded her too much of sick people. The white walls didn't help either for it seemed to stiff and lifeless.
~ They should have painted the walls in rainbow colors. ~ She thought to herself with amusement at the thought of hospitals in multi-colored walls.
"Good morning Usagi-chan. O genki desu ka? How are you feeling today?" A deep male voice said, interrupting her thought.
Usagi quickly shook her head, as if snapping herself out from the trance she created and stared at the man who entered the room.
The doctor had on his white lab coat with the hospital's logo and his name above the breast pocket. His silver hair made him look distinguished and mature, but not old. His deep, prominent violet eyes were adorned with rimless glasses which rested on his short nose. Out of habit, he always kept one hand in his pocket. He was known as the eccentric doctor in the hospital because of his experiments, but he was one of the best.
"I'm fine Isha, ." Usagi began with cheerfulness, then she wrinkled her nose. "I just don't like white walls. That's all."
Doctor Tomoe chuckled. "Well, I'm sure if you had it your way, the hospitals would be painted in different colors." He said, as he pulled out Usagi's files from a metal file drawer.
Usagi nodded enthusiastically in agreement. Doctor Tomoe sat on his big black leather computer chair, putting his left ankle on top of his right knee, swivelling the chair and began reading the files. His eyes began to narrow as he read the printed words. He read it over and over again, fearing he might have skipped a word or a line, but it was all the same, no matter how many times he repeated it. He placed the folder down, removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Usagi-chan, tell me," The doctor began. "How have you been feeling for the past six months?"
Usagi's eyes looked up at the ceiling, her mind replaying the events that have transpired. She still fought the Black Moon clan who wished to conquer earth at night so she lacked precious sleep and was constantly getting injured, however thanks to her Lunarian heritage, she had the capacity to heal herself, but there was something not right with her though.
"Yes." Usagi finally replied. "I've been feeling pain, very strong kind of pain." She swallowed. "And I have been feeling rather sickly. I've been told that I look really pale. For the past two months, I've been constantly in and out of sickness that's why Oka-san, my mom told me to have a thorough check up."
The doctor nodded as she listened intently to Usagi's narration. ~ So, the documents are right. ~ Doctor Tomoe thought to himself. He placed the document on the table, stood up and walked towards the full length window and stared at the hospital's garden.
"Usagi, those things that you mentioned…well, it's…people have recovered, but…" He was unable to find words to express his thought. He wanted to sugar coat the news as not to frighten the bubbly young lady, but he knew, either way, it would seem like the end of the world. "You have leukaemia and this rare form of genetic disorder wherein the heart continues to grow."
Usagi's forehead wrinkled as if she heard her doctor speak in a foreign language.
"The heart stops growing at a certain point in your childhood because it has reached its fully developed stage…" He started walking towards the end of the room. "however, yours, for some unknown reason has started to grow…again. Usually, children with this disorder have their hearts continually growing, never stopping, but, for the first time…." He sat down on an empty chair beside Usagi. "yours stopped when it reached its fully developed stage, but it has started growing once again…in a rather alarming rate. For your leukaemia…." Doctor Tomoe didn't know if he should continue talking after she dropped the bomb on the poor girl. He rubbed the bridge of his nose after taking off his glasses. It was all too much, even for someone like him.
"I need a bone marrow transplant and chemotherapy." Usagi managed to say, and the doctor nodded. "I know how it goes Doctor. My mother's sister had leukaemia and had to undergo bone marrow surgery…she died though." The pain of loosing her aunt almost tore her mother to pieces in grief, but she was able to get passed it because Usagi was there to comfort her. She didn't know how her mother was going to take the news that her beloved daughter had the same illness that took her sister's life.
"I need to speak to you with your parents present Usagi-chan." Doctor Tomoe said, looking at Usagi sympathetically. How he hated this part of her career. He loved the part where he could save lives, (and experiment to do this) but the part of loosing patient or informing patient that their time was limited was something he hoped Medical Schools had a degree for.
Usagi stood up and gave Doctor Tomoe a huge smile. It was as if the room suddenly lit up. "Don't worry Doctor, I can get through this. I know I can." She said in a convincing manner which made the doctor believe. "I better be on my way." She grabbed her school bag and reached for the door knob.
Doctor Tomoe placed his hands on top of Usagi's on the cold brass door knob. "Let me go with you outside Usagi." Usagi nodded.
They walked through the white corridor side by side in silence. Usagi wanted to break the uneasy feeling that she knew her doctor was having at the thought of her condition, but what could she say when she herself was feeling low? No. This will not dampen her spirit. She looked at the doctor who was deep in thought and was about to say something when she noticed that they were standing in front of the hospital door.
"Daijoubu Doctor Tomoe. I'll be alright. There is no need to worry about me." Usagi reassured with a genuine smile. Doctor Tomoe smiled as well and nodded. He knew that this bubbly teenager would find a miracle. Usagi took a step and the door parted ways. She skipped merrily down the concrete steps while the doctor continued to watch her, hoping and praying that Usagi was get through this difficult ordeal.
When Usagi knew that she was far from Doctor Tomoe's sight she stopped skipping and simply stood still with her head down. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel the wind caressing every part of her exposed body. A tear slipped. She allowed herself to finally feel the despair that she fought so hard to hold back. The fear of the unknown.
Her knees began to shake and finally gave in as she knelt on the floor and sobbed.
The wind was getting colder and colder by the minute. Dark clouds began hovering above the sky. Something was amiss. A tall black haired young man stared at the dark clouds that formed. He clenched his fist tightly. As the prince of earth a thousand years ago, he was sensitive to the earth's vibrations and energy. He couldn't place a finger on what exactly upset his home planet. Suddenly, he felt his heart become heavy with fear, sadness and despair. He felt a tear slide down his cheek. ~ Usako~ He thought worriedly.
He closed his eyes and called upon the silver thread that bonded him to his princess. He heard her broken cries and it pained him to hear it. He wanted so badly to come to her aid, to hold her tightly in his arms and comfort her, but he couldn't…he shouldn't.
~ Please don't cry Usako… Onegai…~
Usagi stood up and quickly wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. With whatever time God has given her, she was going to use it to make the people around her happy no matter what. She looked up at the sky and closed her eyes.
~ I will do whatever it takes to make them happy. ~ With that she looked at the road ahead and started walking.
As if her feet could read her mind, she was standing in front of the Crown Arcade. She pushed the door open and heard the door's bell tinkle. A golden brown haired young man looked up from the counter, stopped wiping and smiled upon seeing Usagi.
"Hai! Don't forget my large cheeseburger Motoki-niisan." She added with a wide grin.
Motoki Furuhata laughed. He knew this blond all too well and he wouldn't have it any other way. "Alright! One chocolate milkshake and large fries coming up!"
Usagi sat on one of the empty stools and placed her bag on the counter. The bell tinkled again and Usagi looked back to see Mamoru standing. He saw her and did not smile. He simply scanned the room and approached the counter. Usagi jumped from her chair and hugged Mamoru tightly. "Mamo-chan!" She greeted with so much excitement.
Mamoru felt the wind get knocked out of him. He instinctively lifted his arms and was about to return her hug, but stopped. "I can't breathe Usagi." Mamoru seriously said.
Usagi let go and moved a step back upon hearing Mamoru call her by her name.
"We need to talk." He said without love or concern in his voice as he walked out of the door. Usagi followed behind him, the feeling of dread began to fill her. When they were finally outside, he took a deep breath and summoned the courage to tell her what he has been dreading to say all this time. "Get out of my life Usagi."
"Wh-what?" She was shocked.
Mamoru did his best to control himself from throwing himself at her and beg for forgiveness. "I said get out of my life. I don't need a little girl like you to take care of. I have enough things to worry about. If I'm to be with someone, it has to be a lady, Usagi, not a little girl." He could see the pain in her eyes as the words escaped his lips. He turned around so he couldn't see her shed tears.
Usagi's lips began to quiver. "No…no…" She whispered brokenly. "Y…you…you can't ne serious Mamo-chan…I mean….you said…you said you love me."
~ Yes Usako. I love you with every ounce of my being…but I can't. ~ He thought to himself. "People change Usagi. I never really loved you to begin with. I only went out with you because when our memories of the past returned, I thought you would become Serenity once again. No, you never did. You don't have her grace, her charm, her poise or even her elegance"
~Lies. All lies! You are a wonderful person Usako. Please don't believe me…~ Mamoru was fighting with himself.
~ No. Believe me. Believe every hateful, painful word I say so you will despise me forever. So you will no longer love me. ~ His other self argued.
All this time Usagi fought back the pool of tears that threatened to fall. His words cut her through her heart like a knife. Every word was painful. ~ What if I told him I was ill? That my time on earth was limited? Maybe…maybe he won't leave me. ~
~ You said you will do whatever it takes for the people you love to be happy. ~ A voice reasoned out to her.
~ But I can't bear not to have him in my life. ~ She protested inwardly at the voice.
~ But if he stays with you because of pity, then you are depriving him from his happiness. He will just be miserable. Would you want that? ~
She could not reply to the voice within because she knew it was right. She couldn't bear not to have Mamoru in her life, but she also couldn't bear to see him sad. Mamoru continued narrating his reasons when Usagi looked up at him. "But, maybe we should stay together for the sake of fulfilling the destiny." He added.
"No need to say anything more Mamo-chan. I'm sorry you had to be with me." She began.
Her words caught Mamoru by surprise. She believed him and she was giving up on their relationship. He felt a wave of panic surge through him when he saw that she was calm. Hurt, but calm.
"I will free you from the bonds of destiny Mamo-chan. You have the right to choose whom to love. You will not be bound to the promises of the past." She added with authority in her voice. She stepped back, bowed and walked away.
Mamoru stared at her in fear and utter amazement. She did not cry like a baby or throw a fit. She did not even try to convince him to stay with her. But what scared him the most was her last words that replayed in his mind over and over again like a broken tape. I will free you from the bonds of destiny…You will not be bound to the promises of the past.~ What does she plan on doing? ~
Chapter one is up! Thank you for taking the time to read it, and oh, don't forget to leave a comment so I know what to improve on, and of course, ideas :D That's all for now!