A/N: This is based off something from tumblr that said 'imagine your otp getting hot and steamy…and falling off the bed and laughing'. This pairing was the first one I thought of, and I couldn't resist a little smutty gem.

Disclaimer: I own not a thing.


The moment she stepped into the TARDIS she could tell their time streams were close together; his face lit up in recognition, and the subtle movement of his eyes down her body reassured her that she could let her guard down, more than the last time she'd seen him. He'd been so young.

"River Song!" he called, rounding the console to greet her, hands slipping to her waist, and she relaxed against him, hands sliding up the tweed of his coat, returning his smile.

"Hello sweetie," she replied, leaning forward to brush her lips over his, smile widening when he returned it rather enthusiastically. "Miss me, darling?"

"I always miss you," he replied, bopping her nose, causing her to wrinkle it and shake her head, curls tumbling around her shoulders. He moved to adjust a few things on the console and she moved with him, peering over his shoulder.

"Are Mum and Dad on?" she asked, reclining against the railing, watching the slope of his shoulders and the curvature of his wrist as he adjusted knobs and pulled levers. He shook his head, his mop of thick brown hair obscuring his eyes before he tugged it back with his fingers, long digits tangling in the brunette locks.

"They've been home for a few weeks," he replied, and River nodded, watching him wring his hands for a moment, eyes following the lines of his wrist bones.

"So, the two of us, all alone?" River asked, lips curving into a smirk as she let one eyebrow rise, tone dropped a pitch or two lower than normal. She watched the movement of the Doctor's throat as he swallowed, his eyes widening momentarily before they darkened, his own lips turning upwards into that smirk she loved so much.

"I guess it would appear so," he replied, flicking a final switch on the console and letting the lights dim, holding out a hand to her. "Shall we?"

"Barely in the TARDIS ten minutes and already you're taking me to bed," River said, teasing in her tone as she slid her hand into his, relishing the feel of his cool skin against hers.

"I don't see you complaining, wife," the Doctor replied, turning and taking the opportunity to press her into the wall, hands slipping underneath the jumper she wore, pressing against her skin. She hummed in approval, arms wrapping around his shoulders and sliding into his hair, meeting his lips in a slow, deep kiss, her hum of approval deepening to a moan of content. The kiss lasted for a few long moments before the Doctor pulled away, lips curled smugly.

"Oh shut up," River muttered, pushing against him and slipping into their room ahead of him, breathing in the familiar scent of them the room held, the bed neatly made and no clothes littering the floor- maybe it had been a while since she'd spent the night in the TARDIS with her husband.

His hands slid around her waist as his lips touched the back of her neck, and she sighed quietly, leaning back against him. He nipped at the curve of her jaw lightly, hands squeezing her hips as her fingers slid under his shirt, nails scratching at his hipbones. He gave a low groan of appreciation and pressed his hips towards hers.

She turned in his arms and captured his lips in hers, teeth tugging on the lower one as her hands slid under his jacket, shucking it off and letting it fall to the ground as she tugged him by his braces towards the bed. Once she could feel the mattress against the backs of her knees she unclipped his braces, letting them dangle by his hips while she went to work unbuttoning his shirt after she'd undone his bowtie, feelings his hands push at her jumper, moving it upwards. Once she'd gotten through the buttons of his shirt she allowed him to pull her jumper over her head, the cascade of blonde curls falling around her face and tickling her nose.

The Doctor pressed his lips to her skin that crinkled as she wrinkled her nose, his eyes dark with arousal but shining with teasing like they were almost constantly; River slid her hands up his bare torso and pushed the shirt from his shoulders, tracing her fingers over the curves of his shoulders.

She wasn't expecting him to lurch forward and toss her onto the bed; she let out a shriek, bouncing against the mattress as he moved over her, knees pressing against either side of her thighs, lips moving down her neck and nip at her breasts that were pushed up by her bra, his hands trailing over her waist and flirting with the waistband of the jodhpurs she wore.

She gave a moan of approval when he finally began to tug the pants down, reaching her boots and tugging those off as well, pressing kisses to the heel of her foot when the skin was revealed. She squirmed, the light pressure of his lips setting her off; her feet had always been sensitive. He grinned, nipping at the arch of her foot as he moved his mouth up her foot to her ankle and calf, depositing kisses against her skin.

She squirmed against him, letting out a breathless laugh as she tugged him down on top of her, kissing him deeply, hands pressing against his chest, feeling the staccato beating of his hearts, mirroring her own. His fingers traced Gallifreyan words into her skin; love and faith and trust, all etched into her skin by his fingertips. Their kisses deepened and her hands went to his trousers, undoing the button and pulling down the zipper, dragging everything down and allowing him to kick them off, and he pressed against her, skin to skin. Only her knickers separated them, and he reached his hand down to cup her, fingers pressing in all the right places.

Impatient, River got a solid grip on him and rolled them, pressing her hips downward, grinning at the almost-pained groan he released, his head rolling back against the pillows, his throat taunt. She leaned down, nipping at the tendon there, hearing his low growl against her lips. She leaned back, stripping her panties off herself and lowering herself back down, skin to skin, moaning quietly at the friction the movement created.

The Doctor let out another low growl and moved to roll them again, but misjudged the distance; the rolled right off the bed, River letting out a yelp as her back hit the carpet. Luckily he managed to keep most of his weight off her, but their skin still touched in all the right places; River was breathless as she let out a laugh, rolling her eyes at him.

"Sweetie, I adore you, but you have the coordination of a giraffe," she said, shaking her head at him affectionately, kissing the corner of his mouth at his slightly-offended expression. He sighed, bopping her nose gently, pushing his hips forward to hear her moan.

"Let's see if you're still saying that in a bit, eh?" he said, grasping her thigh in one hand and pushing it upwards gently, his other hand slipping between her legs to slip through the wetness there, relishing her low moan as his fingers danced over her clit and traced symbols into the soft skin of her inner thighs.

"Doctor," she gasped out, hands trying to get a grip on the carpet as her hips pushed into his hand, encouraging his fingers to move to where she wanted- to where she needed them.

"Patience, River Song," he said low under his breath, fingers moving down to push inside her slowly, stretching and sliding and pushing. She whimpered, desperate for his movement, but relishing the slow pace he sent.

He moved slow and deep, his mouth covering hers, his torso pressed against hers; their hearts beat in synchrony, faster and faster as he sped up steadily, feeling her push higher and higher and higher with each pump of his fingers. She was gasping his name- his true name, one he heard so rarely- with each breath, chest rising and falling, nipples hardened and pressing against his skin; it was stimulation from every angle as her own hand reached down to rub furiously over her own clit.

Then she was falling over the edge as he whispered in her ear; her name, how much he loved her, how beautiful she looked, spread out underneath him on the floor. She bucked against him, the waves crashing over her until the slowly subsided, warmth spreading through her body as she tugged him down to kiss him again, relishing the way the taste of Time burst over her tongue.

"I do love watching you come undone underneath me," he murmured, brushing a few curls back behind her ear. She smiled softly, finger stroking down his cheek as she brushed her thumb over his lips, before replacing them with her mouth.

"How about we relocate to the bed now," River suggested, shifting slightly underneath him, nudging his hips with her own. "I'm too old for the floor darling."

The Doctor gave a low chuckle as he helped her to her feet, tugging her against him and sliding his hands into her hair as he kissed her, long and slow and passionate, heat rising in her body all over again. River moaned into his mouth, hand sliding down between them to grasp him, pumping gently. He hissed against her lips, giving a low moan.

He lowered her onto the bed, forcing her to move her hand, though only moments later he was pressing on top of her, the lengths of their bodies pressed together everywhere possible. She moved her legs up to cradle his hips, sinking her teeth into his shoulder as he slid inside her. He gave a strangled groan as her heat encased him; she tried to lift her legs higher to take him deeper, desperate to feel more of him. He slid one leg over his shoulder, pressing deep inside her, feeling her let out a whinge against his mouth.

"You feel incredible," he murmured into the kiss, thrusting slowly, letting the delicious friction build slowly, heating her from the inside out. River gasped out his name again, the sound like music to his ears as he slid his free hand to her clit, thumb pressing small circles into it as his hips began to pump a little faster.

"I could say the same to you, sweetie," River moaned, head tilting backwards as he began to hit a certain spot inside her. "Doctor."

The Doctor grit his teeth, leaning forward to pull one of River's taunt nipples into his mouth, reveling in the raspy moan she let out, her body beginning to tighten around his. One of her hands slid into his hair, grasping tightly- almost to the point of pain- while the other shifted restlessly over his sweat-slicked back, her mouth whispering in his ear exactly how he was making her feel.

His pace increased, thumb pressing harder against her clit. River bucked in earnest now, volume increasing as she begged him to finish with her; not able to refuse his wife when they were like this he pumped hard a few more times and let her drag him over the edge with her contractions around him, his vision going white as he spilled inside her.

He fell against her gasping, letting her leg down gently from his shoulder, pulling out of her regrettably and settling on her side, tugging her against him as they caught their breath. She pressed a soft kiss to his chest, her hand resting gently on his hipbone, face burrowed in his shoulder.

"Gets better every time," the Doctor commented lightly, and River let out a tired laugh, allowing the Doctor to pull the bedcovers over their cooling bodies. She felt lethargic and content; she snuggled closer to her husband and smiled sleepily at his kiss to her hair.

"It always will, darling," she replied, stifling a yawn. The Doctor looked at her fondly, hand stroking her hair.

"Sleep, love," he murmured, kissing her forehead. "We'll pick where to have our adventure when you wake."

She knew he wouldn't fall asleep with her (he rarely did), but he'd watch over her- and that was enough. River snuggled in deeper, smirking lightly just before sleep took her.

"Your coordination is slightly better than a giraffe's, my love."