Prompt: "Okay, Doctor who Sherlock cross over, what would happen if Moriarty met the Doctor? Would he leave Sherlock behind, and then the master would have to go and beat him mentally so that Moriarty would have to go home to Sherlock? Have fun :P"

Um . . . witness my selective reading skills

So, Two Dead Baddies Walk Into A Bar

"You haven't even nearly brought about the apocalypse?" moaned the blond haired man in disappointment.

"At least I don't dye my hair," Moriarty snapped.

"Shows what you know," sniffed the other man, who called himself the Master. "The blond hair is a side effect of a slightly faulty reincarnation. Have you ever come back from the dead?"

"No." Moriarty sulked. "But I haven't been enough of an i-diot to get myself killed."

"Oh, so that's ketchup on the roof there and a toy pistol by your side?"

"I only did it to make him to jump!"

The blond groaned. "No, no, no! The point of having an arch enemy is in tormenting them. You don't actually kill them."

"Everyone's a critic," mumbled Moriarty, crossing his arms.

"I'm done with this," said the blond, standing. "Call me if Darth Vader turns up, will you? I want a word with him."