Dont own Twilight. We all know that. If I did, I'd be stinking rich right now!
I hadnt seen Jake in over two weeks and for the entire time, I blamed myself. It wasn't like I'd thrown myself at him or offered him anything other than friendship but I'd asked that question that had started our entire heated exchange.
And boy, was it heated.
I thought about it a lot after he left and I wondered if there was a switch in our heads that had turned on for both of us that suddenly made us want each other. As far as I was concerned, Jake was still Puppy Jake, lovesick and naive. And to him, I was sure I was still Leah, bitchy and kinda mean.
But there was something else. Something deeper that came out when he got that dark look in his eyes.
Night after night, I found myself either pacing the room or laying in bed into the wee hours of the night, staring at the window and wondering when I'd hear the familiar tap of a rock against the glass. I'd even left the window open a few times.
I didnt realize how much I depended on our night time chats until they were gone. He'd become my best friend during this mess and not having him around was bothering me. And the fact that it bothered me was starting to really piss me off. I was always independent, even when I was in the pack and yet here I was, my face practically pressed to the glass as I waited for him to come visit. He had no obligation to come see me and he had the right to stay away for however long he wanted.
But it didnt sit right with me.
I was starting to build up the courage to go over to Jake's and ask him what his deal was when I heard a tap on my window. My heart started to beat faster as I leaped from my bed and walked to the window, opening it. I stepped back, not bothering to look because who was going to come through my window at three a.m. Besides Jake.
He landed on solid feet and glanced at me.
"Hey," he said nervously.
I rose an eyebrow and scoffed. "Hey? That's it..."
"Yeah," he shrugged.
I rolled my eyes and uncrossed my arms. I was expecting something a little bit more than just 'hey'. Something along the lines of 'sorry I disappeared after whatever that was last time.'
"Go home Jake."
"Leah, wait... Look, I'm sorry I haven't been around."
Could I be mad at him for not being around as much? Was that even allowed? We weren't dating or anything, he was just a friend who I was used to seeing. A friend who in just a few months, I was supposed to mate with.
"Leah," he called again. "I just needed time to think."
"Think about what?" I questioned.
"About you. About this mating thing. About Nessie and Bella."
I felt like throwing up. He always had to bring them up when they were the last people and things on my mind.
Nessie. Nessie. Nessie. Bella. Bella. Bella.
If I never heard those names again, it'd be too soon.
"I dont care about your precious Nessie or Bella," I snapped.
Jake furrowed his eyebrows and stared it me. "This involves them-"
"No. This involves you and me... And our responsibility."
I made sure to add the last part when I realized I sounded like a jealous girlfriend. Was that what this was? I was jealous? I was so used to spending time with Jake that I was getting jealous that he was spending time with his imprint. His destiny. When had I gotten so territorial of him like him being with Renesmee wasn't right. Well, it wasn't right but for some odd reason, the spirits thought it was okay for him to be with the damn halfling.
"I know that Leah.. But it is going to directly affect them if we go through with this."
I took a step back and frowned. I did not like his choice of words. "If? Are you saying you changed your mind about doing this?"
"I'm saying I told Bella and Nessie and they arent happy."
Fuck their happiness, I thought. "Oh," I said instead.
"Yeah," Jake nodded, taking a seat on my bed instead of his usual chair. "Bella thinks it's a bad idea."
"Bella has a brain?" I scoffed.
Jake gave me a look before continuing. Of course I couldn't insult his precious Bella. I wonder what he'd do if I told him she had the nerve to come onto our land to stake her claim on him.
"And of course Nessie wants me to stay around. She thinks that if we do this, it'll somehow pull me away from her. Like I'll have one foot here and the other with them."
Selfish little bitch. Another thought that I kept to myself.
I sat down beside him and decided not to place my hand on his shoulder, like my brain was telling me to. "Look, Jake. I'm not going to pretend like this is easy for you. I know it's tough with the imprint and everything but we're doing the right thing."
I'd said it so much to myself over the past few months that I half way believed it. We were doing the right thing and everything was going to work out for the best.
"You think?" he asked hopefully.
I sounded more positive in our choice than I actually felt. I'd agreed to this mating nonsense and yes, I had my days where it seemed like the most ridiculous thing in the world, but I'd agreed to it.
"Thanks Leah... I also kinda wanted to apologize about what happened last time."
"What happened last time?" I remembered exactly what had happened. I'd been replaying it in my head for the past two weeks. But I wasn't going to let him know that.
Jake looked flustered as he continued. "Wh-when I uh... Grabbed you. I'm sorry, I dont know what came over me."
I swallowed thickly and nodded. "It's okay... I didnt exactly stop you."
"Why didnt you?" he asked, staring down at his shoes. "You looked kinda scared actually."
I shrugged. "I kinda was."
He seemed shocked to hear that. Hell, I was shocked to hear myself say it. I rarely was scared. Put a venom spewing vampire in front of me, and I show no fear. Have an attractive guy grab me with force and I start to panic. Go figure.
"So why not push me away?"
I shrugged once more. "I dont know. I didnt want to. I was freaked out but at the same time I was intrigued."
Heat spread through my body, remembering that night all over again.
Jake's eyes met mine and I felt a shiver go down my spine as his eyes darkened once more. He blinked hard and shook his head, standing. "What's happening to me?"
"What is it?" I asked, standing as well.
He shook his head, his eyes darting quickly. "I dont know. My vision gets sharper and I can smell everything. That's what triggers it."
"Your smell?" I asked, incredulously.
"No," he whispered, lifting his head to look at me. "Your smell."
I gulped loudly. My smell? "Mine? Like my perfume or my lotion?"
"No. It's hard to explain."
Jake stepped away from me, putting distance between us and shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. "Its your natural scent. Not the perfume or shampoo. It's like earthy and leaves and...dirt."
I frowned. "I smell like dirt?"
"No! Not like that. I mean you smell like the forest early in the morning. Like dew and cool air."
I kept my eyes on him as I searched for words. "So. That starts whatever that just was?"
Jake nodded. "Something like that. But it's overwhelming like the minute I'm around you I can feel it. Like the wolf is trying to claw it's way out of my body and for a split second I let it take over just to calm it down."
"What happens if you let it out for longer than a split second?" I asked.
"I have no idea. I'm afraid to find out."
Was this another trick like the dreams to push us closer to mate? We'd already agreed, why add something else? So no more torturing us with fear, now it was on to torturing us with being attracted to each other.
"It's not just your natural scent either. When you... Uh..."
He was stammering and I hated when people did that. "Just spit it out," I groaned.
He took a step closer to me and I leaned back out of habit. "Your cheeks turn a little red first," he started, cutting his eyes lower down my torso. "And then-"
I gasped, cutting him off. He'd smelled me when I was thinking all of those sexy thoughts.
"You can smell me when I... When I'm..."
It was my turn to babble.
Jake nodded quickly before I said something weird like, aroused.
I felt so embarrassed. Sure, as a shifter you could smell everything and I mean everything but why didnt I think he'd be able to smell me when I was getting hot and bothered by just thoughts.
"It makes the wolf wanna come out," he said, placing a hand on his chest.
"I'm sorry?" I posed it more as a question. I couldn't control his wolf and I sure as hell couldn't control my own scent.
"Dont be. I'm just finding it hard to be around you sometimes. Your scent is in the room. On your bed. In the curtains. It's even on me when I first leave. That's why I had to stay away for a while. I needed a break from fighting it."
I nodded in understanding even though I really couldn't relate with having to fight the stronger, animalistic side of you for dominance. Being what we were, there was a happy balance. Sometimes, we let the wolf lead, especially when killing a vampire. But there was always that small voice, telling you to come back to the human side. I was curious to see what would happen if Jake let go.
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, letting my curiosity settle in the back of my mind for later. "Jake?"
"If you hadnt snapped out of it last time, what would have happened?" I met his eyes and watched as they darkened for a split second.
That wolf was one persistent bastard.
"I probably would have kissed you."
I breathed out slowly, hearing him say it. I couldn't even respond because honestly, if he hadnt taken over when he did, I probably would have let him.
A/N: Okay so here's Chapter 11! I hope you liked it. There was a bit of explanation of what's been going on with Jake. And it will keep happening, I can guarantee it. Make sure you review!