I am really sorry about how long it's taking for me to write this. I really am. I'm just really busy.
But it gets a little more interesting from now on which might make me a little more eager ... enjoy :)
This is probably the least angsty chapter so far btw. I was trying to get the same ''feel'' that ISITC had ... so yeah ^_^
(x x x)
I was sitting on a red plush sofa, trying to avoid dying of boredom.
Dinner parties really weren't my thing.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed dressing up and socalising with my friends ... but with a bunch of really posh strangers and future in-laws?
I was totally surrounded by packs of men in fancy suits and women adorned with diamond jewellery. They were all drinking red-wine and eating caviar and escargots and other gross things (who in their right mind would want to eat fish eggs and snails? I felt sick just looking at the stuff).
All of the women looked like they had stepped out of Vogue; I was wearing a simple dark grey dress and the only jewellery I had on was my engagement ring and a plain silver necklace. I felt very out of place and uncomfortable.
Not Daisy-May though: even though it was only her second dinner-party she was totally confident. She had refused to wear anything which I deemed ''suitable'' - she said that because she didn't want to come she should get to chose what she wore - and had shown up in a black blazer covered with badges advertising bands I had never heard of, a white blouse and black skirt. She wore black and white stripy socks and her favourite pair of worn out DMs. Her hair was held in place with what looked suspiciously like chopsticks and black ribbon.
She looked like a schoolgirl rebel and instantly got the attention of everyone in the room. Sadly, these open stares and raised-eyebrows didn't make her behave. She was happy to wheel around the house, attempting to knock over everyone in sight. Whenever she caught someone staring at her with disdain or scorn she didn't shy away like I did, she confronted them.
I was mortified by her behaviour; why couldn't she act normal for just one night? I can deal with the clothes and the attitude ... just not here. Around the people I have to impress.
A part of me envied Daisy-May and her confidence. She didn't let anyone push her around and didn't take shit from anyone. She wasn't afraid to voice her opinion or seek confrontation. I wished that I was more like that when I was fifteen. Heck, I wished that I was more like that now.
The only person who hadn't given Daisy-May any funny looks tonight was Sally. When we had arrived at the mansion (because I simply cannot call it a house) she had greeted us warmly. Sally had looked very pretty in a bright blue dress and a pearl necklace and pearl earrings. She had hugged us all (I only returned the hug half-heartedly while Elias stood perfectly still, as though he was pretending that she wasn't there.)
Daisy-May had instantly fallen for Sally's bright smile, soft voice and kind eyes. And the fact that Sally only laughed when Daisy-May almost ran her over had impressed my little sister as well. Sally, who could remember Daisy-May better than Daisy-May could remember her was very happy to see her. The two of them had went of together and I hadn't seen them for a while.
I felt a tiny prickle of jealousy. Daisy-May seemed to be enjoying Sally's company more than my own ... I missed the days when she thought that I was the greatest and always wanted to hang out with me. Nowadays she just wanted to stay out with her friends or lock herself in her room with her music.
She hadn't spoken to me properly since our fight.
I felt like she was doing this to punish me.
Elias hadn't spoken to me either. The drive to his parent's house had been completely silent except for the radio, much like the last few days at our house. Right now he was talking to a few of his rich old uncles. If I hadn't known him I would have thought he was just like all of the other posh pompous men there. He seemed very suave and sophisticated. I admired and envied his acting skills ... I didn't know how to act like that.
All of a sudden everyone stopped talking: Max, Alicia, Elias and Sally were standing in the middle of the room. Sally was standing next to Elias, though he was making sure to keep a small amount of distance between them.
Max cleared his throat and began to speak. 'Words cannot describe,' he began in a somber tone, 'How happy my wife and I are to have our darling daughter back. It is such a comfort to know that she is safe. Our family is finally complete.'
There was a quick round of applause. Alicia was beginning to cry. Elias looked fed-up. Sally looked slightly uncomfortable but had a smile on her face. She hugged her father and brother and kissed her mother on the cheek. Then she turned to face everyone else.
'I would like to apologise to everyone. I'm truly sorry for leaving without telling you where I was going. I know that I caused a lot of hassle but I just thought that it was something I had to do - and please don't ask me what I was doing. That is my own business.' she warned.
'There are many other people who couldn't be here tonight and I must find a way to apologise to them soon.' she continued. 'But I have the chance to apologise to all of you right now. And believe me, I am sorry for what I did. And I'm glad to be home. It's been really hard.'
Sally sounded so sincere: I could tell that she was holding back tears and I could hear the relief and happiness in her tone. I felt some of my annoyance towards the pretty squirrel fade away. Nobody was that good of an actress.
Sally smiled warmly at us and everyone clapped for her. Ken and Daisy-May clapped the hardest. Sally raised her hand and stopped our applause. 'I wasn't finished yet. We have someone to thank for this ...'
Sally's eyes were shining and she had a sly smile on her face. I wasn't the only person who noticed: Elias was looking over at his sister, his brow creased with worry.
'I invited him here tonight,' Sally continued, 'so we could thank him personally. He was a friend of mine from school and he managed to find me and convince me to come back. So, ladies and gentlemen I give you the one and only Sonic the hedgehog!'
Sonic was pushed up beside Sally. Everyone began to clap and cheer for him, forgetting that they were supposed to be sensible and snooty for a few minutes. Daisy-May rolled over and high-fived him. Max shook his hand and Alicia hugged him, saying ''thank you thank you thank you'' over and over again. Even Elias tried to smile.
I didn't clap or cheer - it wasn't out of disrespect or anything, I was just taken by surprise. I hadn't seen Sonic since the day Sally came back. If I was being honest, I had been avoiding him - he had sent me a few text messages (I suspected that Tails or one of the girls gave him my number) but I hadn't answered. Honestly, the thought of speaking to him (even via text) was too much for me to handle.
And I don't know why.
I watched Sonic smile sheepishly: he didn't like being the centre of attention and having everybody fawn over him. It made him feel self-concious and awkward. He looked at Sally who smiled and turned to look at me. Sonic followed her gaze and our eyes locked across the room.
I couldn't breathe properly: my heart fluttered and my head was buzzing like there was a swarm of bees inside it. I ducked my head away and stared at the floor.
Please don't come over here.
Everybody was back to mingling. I looked up and looked away quickly: Sonic was making his way towards me.
I turned around and walked out of the room, hoping that Sonic wouldn't follow me out. I didn't look back to see where he was in case he noticed it and thought that I had seen him and was trying to ignore him (and yeah, that is what I was doing, but I didn't want him to know that!).
I quickly walked out of the hall and opened the glass doors. I stepped out onto the porch and shivered. The night-air was bitterly cold compared to the warmth I had felt inside. I got used to the temperature after a few seconds and turned my attention towards the night-sky. The stars twinkled merrily in the darkness and the moon was full and looked as though she were smiling down on the earth ...
I just realised how ridiculously stupid and soppy that sounded, but when you live in a town full of ugly streetlamps you begin to appreciate little things like the night-sky and the stars a lot more. Oh, and Daisy-May never stops trying to sing ''Memory'' (note the use of the word trying) so I can't look at the moon without thinking of every reference to it in the song (thanks Daisy-May).
The moon does look really nice though ... I admitted to myself, It reminds me of something ...
I rolled around on my side and saw the moon from the window. It was beautiful and round and full. I shivered slightly, not from the cold but from the bliss I was experiencing. I hadn't ever felt like this ... so happy ... so complete. I turned around again to meet a pair of big green eyes. My breath caught in my throat and I wrapped my arms around Sonic's neck. I buried my face in his bare chest, nuzzling him. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and pull me closer. I let my hands run down his back, stroking his soft blue fur. Sonic pulled me even closer and began kissing and rubbing my hair. I could feel his heartbeat: it was quick and fluttery, rather like mine. I smiled: this was perfect.
I let out a litte gasp and spun around. Sonic was standing at the door, watching me with a curious expression. 'Are you okay?'
'Oh, y - yes. Yes, I'm fine ... it's just ... well ... f - fine.' I stammered. I was blushing furiously - why did he have to turn up now? After that intimate memory ... If Sonic knew what I was thinking about just a few seconds ago I would die from the shame. I was getting married for God's sake! When you're engaged to someone you do not stand around fantasizing about your ex ...
The word ''fantasizing'' caused another image to flash in my mind. I felt very warm all over.
I was mortified.
My discomfort must have been obvious because Sonic was beginning to look a little concerned. He cautiously took a few steps towards me, eyes narrowed. 'Are you okay Ames?' he asked. He sounded genuinely concerned. I felt myself soften slightly ... oh why did he have to be so damn nice?
'I'm okay ...' I said, hoping that a proper conversation couldn't start from such a short answer. I just wanted Sonic to go ... I had been doing so well when it came to ignoring him and now all of this confusion was back.
'Elias was wondering how you were ...' Sonic told me. His expression didn't give away any of his emotions but I could tell that he was having a hard time keeping his tone polite when he mentioned my fiance. I wasn't sure how this made me feel.
'Tell him I'm fine.' I replied. I then looked back at the moon, hoping that Sonic would get the message and leave because my heart was jumping so much I could have sworn it had hiccups. Unfortunatly Sonic just joined me at the fence. Our arms brushed slightly as he moved to stand beside me and I couldn't help myself from shivering.
Oh hello hormones. Long time no see.
'You've been ignoring me.' Sonic said suddenly.
I was slightly taken aback - that was pretty random of him to say.
Even though it was a little true ...
No. No, I was not ignoring Sonic ... I just hadn't had the chance to speak to him is all! That was it.
But when I told him this, I felt a twinge of guilt. I tried to force it down and I told myself I was being silly - I had nothing to feel guilty about!
Nothing at all.
If that were true though, why was it so hard to convince myself that's how it was?
Sonic interrupted my thoughts. 'No, you've been ignoring me Amy. Don't deny it.'
I was about to snap at him when I noticed that his tone wasn't angry; it was just ... sad.
I know that's a bad word to use. It's such a loose term and makes it seem like the things that upset you aren't a big deal. But that is the only way I can describe it ... he didn't sound heartbroken, or full of sorrow, or bitter or anything. Just sad.
If I was being honest, I felt a little dissapointed by his reaction ... I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted from him ... just something more than sad.
I didn't know why his reaction mattered so much. I wasn't sure I wanted to know, because if it was for the reasons I thought it might be then that really wasn't a good thing.
'Well ... maybe you have a point.' I admitted. 'It's just a little weird I guess ... being around you.'
Again, he had taken me by surprise. I looked up at him, eyes wide - was he being like this on purpose? Was he just trying to annoy me?
No, he looked completely sincere.
This just made me more irritated: wasn't the answer to this question obvious? We were exes and we had gotten very little closure ... were all guys this dense and oblvious?
'Because - because we used to date.' I told him, my eyes moving to the ground as I was finding it hard to make eye-contact with him. 'It's just ... weird.'
'I think it's a little more than that Amy.'
I started blushing when I realised what he was implying. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, trying to pull off a surprised, almost amused expression. I don't think it worked though ... my face felt very warm so I can only imagine how red it must have been. 'Are you implying that I ... ?'
I didn't want to finish: saying the words out loud ... it would make it harder to deny that I had feelings for Sonic.
Which I didn't. I was just ... confused. Our break-up hadn't ended well and we hadn't spoken in years ... it was all very complex and of course I was going to feel all mixed up inside.
Sonic turned his head so he was facing me. He moved a little closer to me. I felt a strange sensation all around my body, like pins-and-needles only less uncomfortable.
'Do you?' Sonic asked softly. I shivered ... I don't think it was from the cold.
I felt ill: my heart was racing, my legs felt like jelly and my mind had been reduced to mush. I hadn't felt like this in years ... I was surprised by how strong the feeling still was.
Sonic's face was coming closer and closer and - oh my gosh, was he going to ...?
I couldn't help it ... I began to lean in two.
(But it was only out of instinct! I swear to God!)
Closer and closer and ...
I don't know what happened. Maybe the reality of what was happening finally sunk in. Maybe I was just scared of what would happen if this went any further. I don't think I really knew what was going on inside me ... I just new that I had to stop this or I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I took a step back and looked away. Sonic blinked, looking like he had just come out of a trance. He was blushing and looked very sheepish.
'I ... uh ... I'm sorry Ames - '
'I know Sonic.' I said, careful not to look at him: my head was buzzing enough as it was. 'But you need to mean it.'
'I do - '
'You said that you wanted us to be friends Sonic.' I said softly, but with an edge. 'I can't be friends with you if you insist on dragging up our old relationship everytime we're together. Maybe we shouldn't speak at all.'
'No way. That's not happening.' Sonic protested.
I was surprised by how readily he had protested to my suggestion of us parting for good ... it sent a strange rush through my body. I couldn't tell if it was a good or a bad feeling. I tried to ignore it and went on.
'Then you need to listen to me Sonic.' I told him. 'I am getting married soon and I no longer have any romantic feelings for you.'
You're lying Amanda a little voice inside my head whispered. I tried to ignore that too. The voices in my head only got me into trouble ... I wasn't going to listen to them anymore.
But still ... I couldn't help but think they had a point.
Even though I don't have feelings for Sonic.
'This is really confusing for me ... ' I continued. 'This whole thing is hard enough without you ... '
I stuggled to find the correct term to describe what Sonic was doing.
'It's okay Amy,' Sonic said, 'I know what you mean.'
I offered him a nervous smile. The two of us stood there without speaking: it was a rather awkward silence. I wasn't sure what I should say to him, how I should speak to him after this conversation. But I knew that I wanted to keep talking to him ... I missed him.
'So, it's Mai's birthday in a few days.' I told him. 'Shadow and Maria were going to host another thing for Sally because she's back and all ... are you planning on going?'
Sonic frowned. 'Are you asking so you will know if you have to avoid me on the day?' he asked.
I winced inwardly. I felt really bad. I could tell that I had hurt him - and that was the last thing I wanted to do.
'No, I was just ... I just wanted to know if you'd be there ...?'
Sonic nodded. 'Yes, I'm going.'
'Oh,' I said happily, smiling at him (why was I so happy?) 'Cool! I'll see you there then ...'
Sonic was smiling too. 'I'll see ya.'
The two of just stood there for a few seconds, smiling at each other. I felt warm and fuzzy inside ... the feeling was replaced with a wave of guilt. I was engaged ... I shouldn't be feeling like this around other guys. Especially not this guy ...
'I'd better round up Daisy-May and Elias ...' I told him, backing away slightly. Sonic looked away from me and nodded. 'Yeah, I guess you should do that.' he said sadly.
'Well ... goodbye.'
'See ya Ames.'
I made my way back inside, leaving Sonic at the gate, staring at the moon. I wondered what he was thinking of ... what he was feeling ...
I shook my head: none of these feelings made any sense.
(x x x)
That wasnt supposed to be the end of the chapter. I had another scene with some brief Megan/Elias stuff but it didn't feel right here. It will be in the next chapter.
Sally/Daisy-May friendship is my new favourite thing.
NEXT CHAPTER WILL ACTUALLY HAVE PROGRESSION IN THE SUBPLOTS. It was going to be something else but I had an even better idea. IT WILL BE MUCH EASIER AND MAKE MORE SENSE. AND BE HAPPIER.