Hiya! This is the first time I've tried something like this, so tell me if I'm doing it wrong! :)

Lets imagine that I am present in the movieverse...and that I spend some time with both teams. Hear me when I say, their lives will never be the same again!

Me; "Hey Megs, you know how I said I was going to do that big old list of do's, don'ts and general rules for living with you lot?"

Megatron; *pops head into room* "Yes, what about it?"

Me; "Well apparently, if I am to put it on the Internet, I have to write a disclaimer that says I don't own you!"

Megatron; "YOU? OWN ME?!" *looks scandalised*

Me; "I know right? I have to say it though, or I might get into trouble with those legal people. And you don't want me to get in trouble do you?"

Megatron; "No. As much as I hate to admit it, you're starting to rub off on me."

Me; "Aw. See? It's not that hard to admit you have feelings! You'll like me even more when you see what I did to 'screamer..." *trails off mysteriously*

Megatron; "WHERE! I MUST SEE!" *rushes off*

Me; "Yeah. He's my bestie. He's kinda like a little kid isn't he? Anyway, I would like it to be noted that Zoe, formally known as LittleEnglishLass does not own ANY of the TF's. 'Cept Prowl...that smexy aft is MINE!"


The DO'S, DON'TS and General Rules of Living With Giant Robots

Part 1; Decepticons. Fate is fun to tempt!


DO quote Invader Zim, there are so many priceless moments to be had.

(Megatron was quietly working away, nose in a datapad.)

(I happened to be walking by.)

(And was full of sugar)

"I LOVE YOU COLD UNFEELING ROBOT ARM!"

(Megsie jumped about a mile in the air and fell off his seat.)

(I ran away giggling.)

...

(Me and Barricade were watching True Blood in the rec-room.)

(Megatron walked in at a certain...ahem...'adult' part.)

(He was frozen for a few seconds, looking shocked before yelling really loudly.)

"BARRICADE! HOW COULD YOU EXPOSE AN INNOCENT YOUNG FEMME TO SUCH FILTH! You should be ashamed of yourself."

(He then took our box set away and the TV. He is SUCH a mother hen.)

(I sat up.)

"No. I'm still watching it, I wanna see what happens!" *begins to get upset* "I need it!" *starts crying* "WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?" *runs around screaming insanely then suddenly falls asleep*

(Barricade looked at Megatron.)

"Mayyybeee...you should give it back..."

...

(I was sat in the control room, watching all the 'cons do their thing.)

(Megsie was still mad at Barricade over the whole True Blood incident, so we weren't allowed to talk to each other for a few days as punishment.)

(Spoilsport.)

(Megsie realised he'd forgotten my data pad, and told me to go and get it, so he could rearrange my schedule.)

(I ran off, yelling.)

"BLARGIZEFLURZINFLURRSENUR!"

(Yeah...he thought I had gone insane and carried me to the medical bay like I was his own precious little sparkling.)

(I didn't get out of the medbay for three days...)

(It. Was. So. Worth. It)

...

(Megsie and 'screamer were arguing again.)

(Really loudly.)

(At three in the sodding morning!)

(I decided to shut them up.)

(Donning my GIR hoodie, I ran into the room they were in, carrying my recently headless piggy plushie and used my incredible crying ability.)

"WHY? WHY MY PIGGY?! I LOVEDED YOU PIGGY! I LOVEDED YOUHUHUHU!"

(They stopped arguing.)

(OBJECTIVE ACHIEVED.)

(They got me a new plushie piggy too.)

(LEVEL UP!)

The Numa Numa song is banned. Forever.

(I recently learned how to sing it in Romanian.)

(I wanted to show everyone.)

(I thought they would be proud of my language skills.)

(Everything was fine until I reached the chorus. That's when they all freaked out.)

(Turns out 'Numa' and 'Dragostea' mean something entirely different in Cybertronian.)

(Yikes.)

(Way. Too. Young. For. That. Info.)

DON'T start an argument with me and Slipstream.

(Starscream though he was being clever.)

(He said we couldn't use the big cannon thing because he didn't think femmes could handle it.)

(Slipstream told him to frag off.)

(We all got into a philosophical argument as to whether boys were better than girls.)

(Weirdly, most of the 'cons agreed with me and Slips.)

(Eventually we got onto religion. I got sick of the argument and ended it.)

"Of course god made boys before girls. Every artist needs to do a rough sketch before they make the masterpiece."

(I walked out.)

(Me and Slipstream spent the next few days organising a prank.)

(It involved cottage cheese and a certain big cannon.)

(I don't think 'screamer enjoyed his morning flight.)

(HA!)

DO get Soundwave in on an April fools prank.

(Impossible you say?)

(Not for me.)

(We eventually convinced him. Sure, it took three hours and a lot of begging from us all, but eventually he agreed to it and said it was a good idea.)

(With Slipstream's help, we managed to create a convincing alien costume. Soundwave even added some cool light things that made it glow with this awesome churning glittery effect, like lava, only prettier.)

(Then Soundwave hacked into the worldwide TV grid-thing.)

(The whole world watched in terror as a horrible alien blob thing told them that planet Earth was going to be demolished in ten minutes to make way for a space bridge, and there was no moral problem because humans were too stupid to be considered lifeforms anyway.)

(There was global panic.)

(You should have seen their faces when nothing happened.)

(We all laughed so hard I think we did permanent damage to ourselves.)

(Then we hacked the grid again.)

"APRIL FOOLS! Lots of love, the Vortians."

'That's what she said' jokes are fobidden.

(Megatron was talking to Soundwave.)

(I saw an opportunity.)

"It will have to be huge to get the best output."

"HA! That's what she said!"

(It took him a moment to understand, then he told me off.)

...

(Slipstream was talking to Thundercracker.)

(I just couldn't resist.)

"It wasn't that hard y'know? The only thing I will say it everything came at me at once."

"HAHAHA! That's what she said!"

(Slips thought it was funny.)

(Thundercracker told me he would never get a certain image out of his head.)

(I'm very curious as to what image that is...O_o)

...

(For some reason or other, Megatron had a video link to the Autobots.)

(I was told to stay out of sight. But they never said anything about staying quiet.)

(The opportunity of a lifetime! Cannot...resist...must...)

(Megatron was being sarcastic about the 'bot's relations with the humans. Again.)

"So, it must feel good to finally be on top?"

"BWAHAHA! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"For the love of Primus, will you just stop it?!"

"HAHA! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"You can't keep going like this! Enough is enough!"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

(Megatron just gave a long-suffering sigh.)

(Optimus thought it was funny.)


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INVADER ZEE, OVER AND OUT STAR COMMAND!