Other than that, I have nothing else to say.

Me; Sorry guys, it's a whole new year, and I still don't own you. *sad face*

Perceptor; Ah well, maybe next Christmas, eh?

Me; Ya, I guess so.

Jazz; Until then, how 'bout we go and see if 'jack's invented that time machine yet?


The DO'S, DON'TS and General Rules of Living With Giant Robots

Part 13; Autobots. It's a Jammie Doger, savvy?

You are NOT The Doctor


(Who hasn't pretended to be him a few times?)

(I think I'd make a brilliant Doctor!)


"Oh all right, it's a Jammie Dodger! But I was promised tea!"

(Top tip of the week; Cybertronians don't appreciate the Matrix of Leadership being called a Jammie Dodger.)

(The Matrix didn't seem to have a problem with it.)

(Seemed rather amused actually...)


"Oh, what's this then? I love this! A big flashy lighty thing! That's what brought me here. Big flashy lighty things have got me written all over them. Not actually though. But give me time. And a crayon."

(Apparently the thingy in question was an energon converter for making raw energon from solar power.)

(Wheeljack gave me an approving nod.)

(He totally gets me.)


(I threw a rubber ducky at Prowl.)

(Mearing said I was an immature child.)

(This is what followed.)

"I think you'll find that I'm universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult!"

*shows bit of paper I doodled on earlier*

"'s just a load of scribblings..."

*I looked back at it in confusion*

"Oh no. My physic paper! Yeah, it's shorted out. Finally, a lie too big."

You're not Jack Sparrow either

(Um...there should be a captain in there somewhere.)

(Sorry, too good to resist!)


"Well after all that, I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically."

(Politicians don't appreciate sarcastic remarks after they've spent about half a hour yelling at you.)

(Especially if you happen to be wearing your Sparrow costume at the time.)

(That git deserved it.)

(Wasn't my fault Sunstreaker almost crashed into him.)

(Even if I did throw a snowball at him and 'soiled' his 'wonderful' paintjob.)

(I'm using those terms very loosely in, case you can't tell.)


"You need to find yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?"

(Note to self; Galloway is an ass.)

(So don't insult his shagging abilities.)


(Optimus needed to find something for Ratchet to check.)

(I think it was some kind of data-pad.)

(I helped...sort of.)

(I mainly just followed him around, occasionally spouting nonsense and bewildering him into forgetting what he was looking for in the first place.)

(When he finally remembered, I reminded him why it was so important, as if it was his own fault that he forgot.)

"The finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face from The Mighty Hatchet. Savvy?"

(Sure, it was funny as heck to say, but it didn't help us free Elita from the medbay.)


(We had a problem.)

(Basically, we needed to find some ancient key to unlock this old Cybertronian tomb at the base of some random mountain with a name I can't spell.)

(Only thing is, we didn't know where this mountain was.)

(That part of the message had rusted away.)

(So, Lennox suggested scanning all the likely mountains.)

(I disagreed.)

"If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?"

(I thought it was a valid point...)

Stop tormenting Leo

(I actually had nothing to do with this.)

(Yeah, a prank was committed without my involvement.)

(It's a damn miracle if I ever saw one.)

(I'm losing my touch.)

(The following story was told to me by a giggling Jazz.)

(Apparently, someone re-directed the power from Leo's keyboard onto their datapad.)

(No one knows who did it for sure, but my money's on Elita. She's been cooped up in the medbay for about a week, since the baby could arrive any day now.)

(And like me, she gets bored very very easily.)

(Said person *ahemElita*, then proceeded to make the ever paranoid and hysterical Leo think his computer was alive after being infected by a virus the 'cons had somehow gotten into his hardrive.)

(Leo freaked.)

(Red Alert was in the room with him.)

(Need I say more?)

(Regardless, I must make sure to drop by and see Elita to congratulate her on a prank well done. Oh, she's ever so good.)

DON'T let the 'bots catch you doing anything

(It's nothing illegal, just to be clear.)

(The gang and I just 'borrowed' some helium and sulphur hexafluoride from Wheeljack.)

(The boys took the helium.)

(Helium=instant cartoon character voice.)

(We girls took the sulphur.)

(Sulphur hexafluoride=instant demon voice.)

(We then proceeded to freak out every Cybertronian we could find.)

(The change in voices creeped them out so badly, you wouldn't believe!)

(Unfortunately...Ratchet found us.)

(We'd been doing our best to avoid him, but I think Red Alert ratted us out.)

(I think you all know what happened next.)

DON'T annoy Chromia

(No caption needed.)

(Other than; HAHA! Leo is so dead!)

(We warned him.)

DON'T enforce bedtimes

(I like to stay up late.)

(For some reason, I can only write well late on a night.)

(Anyway, I was sat on my laptop with a packet of my favourite crisps, writing out the draft for this much beloved list of all things crazy and wonderful, when OP informed me it was ten to twelve, and that I had to go to bed.)

(He got my 'what's your point?' look.)

(Needless to say, and argument ensued.)

(Eventually, he ordered me to go to bed and told me to stop eating my crisps, because the ingredients would give me nightmares if I ate them late on a night.)

(Oooooh. Bad move.)

"FINE! I'M GOING! But you know, I come here because I expect loyal friendship and brain-implodingly awesome adventures, not a constant ear bashing from THE CHEESY PUFF POLICE!"

(And with that, I stormed off.)

(I didn't have nightmares, so there.)

*blows raspberry*

That's all for now folks!

Btw, does anyone have an idea for the perfect theme for this fic? So far, all I can think of is Trouble by Pink.

Also, I've noticed a lot of FF stories have their own little logo that the author or someone else has made. I'm thinking of giving it a go, but if any of you are DeviantArt peeps, you are welcome to do one. :)