24th April, 10:00, Home

Dean is singing in the shower. Very loudly. I wonder if he knows I can hear him? I'll assume he can't and then I'll be able to hold it against him next time he refuses to go to the store. I'll threaten to tell everyone at Sam's birthday party next week unless he promises to do the shopping for once.

I like the song he's singing. Maybe I could record it so I can listen to it when Dean's not here. He showed me how to record things on my phone yesterday.

10:05

I don't know what I've done but my phone keeps playing some very nasty music.

10:07

It won't stop.

10:10

My phone is very attached to single ladies. I did not know phones had a sexual orientation. I will have to ask Dean about this later. Furthermore, whoever is singing this song has very bad grammar. This may be because she cried her tears for three good years. Something very terrible must have happened to cry for that long. I shouldn't be picking her up on her grammar.

10:11

Apparently if I like something I should put a ring on it. I like Dean…does this mean I have to put a ring on him? What kind of ring? Could I draw one on his arm? I should write my name in it as well so everybody knows that it is me that likes him. I'll ask Dean later.

10:13

I've hidden my phone in the couch but I can still hear it. Why does she repeat 'oh' so many times?

10:15

I just heard Dean swear and then there was a crash. I think it was the shampoo bottles, but I should go and check to make sure he's okay. He could have slipped and banged his head and then he might bleed to death and I would be left with my singing phone forever.

10:17

Dean is okay but he also has an aversion to me seeing him naked. He said 'son of a bitch' which is something he says when he is annoyed. Next time I will remember to knock.

10:20

He just asked me where his Led Zeppelin t shirt is. I told him I didn't know which was a lie. I don't like lying to Dean, but I would have found it difficult to explain that his Led Zeppelin t shirt is under my pillow because it helps me get to sleep. He doesn't like to know things like that, it makes him uncomfortable.

10:25

Dean made my phone stop! Apparently is was a song by a woman called Beyoncé called Single Ladies, though I could have deduced that from the repetition of said phrase. He says that he thought I might like it, but I think he was joking. I think he put it on my phone for his only personal amusement. He does a lot of things like that.

12:24

Dean has a date tonight. I think it is very rude of him to go on dates on such short notice. Now we are living together I should be warned at least a week in advance so I can make plans to be out of the house. I have no desire to listen to what Dean does to the girls he brings home. I also dislike the girls. If Dean wants to go on dates then he could ask me. Or is there a rule against that?

13:18

I asked Dean about the ring thing. He said that I shouldn't draw a ring on his arm with my name in. The song refers to the act of proposing marriage to the person you're in love with and placing a ring on their finger. I think I will draw on Dean's arm anyway. Then maybe he'll stop bringing strange girls home.

19:36, Anna's House

Anna told me to stop pining over Dean. I don't know what pining is, but I think it might be something to do with trees. I don't know what trees have to do with Dean either but maybe she referring to the plant I got for the kitchen table the other day. I still don't know what the plant has to do with Dean except for the fact Dean always forgets to water it. Maybe Anna is telling me to stop getting mad at Dean for not watering the plant.

22:56

She's letting me sleep on her spare room and she's being very nice to me. I do like Anna; I think if maybe I didn't like Dean so much, I'd like Anna even more. She's very sweet. Though when I told her about the song Dean put on my phone she said she likes Beyoncé which doesn't go in her favour. I think people who like Beyoncé should try to stop liking her.

25th April, 02:00

I can't sleep because I left Dean's t shirt at home, and I can't go back home because Dean will have a girl there, and he doesn't like me intruding on his dates. I hope he remembers to make her breakfast and a cup of coffee in the morning. I should text him and tell him so.

The buttons on my phone are very small.

02:49

Dean hasn't replied yet. I hope he gets my message before the morning.

8:00

I managed to get to sleep in the end but Dean still hasn't sent me a message back. I wonder if it's okay to go home.