Hello there everyone. Firstly I would like to apologise for the prolonged absence again, I don't really have a good excuse this time! Anyway, thank you once again for all your lovely reviews, you're all marvellous. There are still a few more chapters left, but I think I'm pretty close to wrapping this fic up and moving onto something else.

31st May, 21:30

My logic is this; Crowley would only be possessing someone else if it helped him in his game plan which means, as far as I can tell, there is only one person it could be.


Crowley wants to be in a position to hurt Dean and Sam, someone close to us, someone who we never thought to tell to get an anti-possession tattoo. I think Crowley may be using Amelia as a vessel. That way he has Sam under his full control, especially whilst he's ill. It explains why she refused to let Dean near his brother.


Of course, Dean is panicking now. There is no point in Anna or I even attempting to tell him this isn't his fault or that we could be wrong because he never listens. The only thing we can do is get to Sam as quick as possible, and hope that he's still in the hospital. If Crowley has taken him anywhere, he'll be dead – or worse – in a number of hours.


I wonder what Crowley plans on doing now. I will do anything I can to stop Sam getting hurt. I owe the brothers everything; I will never be able to stop repaying them for all they have done for me. I will save Sam if it is the last thing I do.


Dean is barely holding himself together. I asked him if he was okay, he was quiet for a while then he asked me why nothing could ever be easy. He said that he was tired of this life and he thought that he had got out. That things would work out between the two of us, and that Sam would get married and have children like he had always wanted, and that everything would be fine.


I told him we could still have that. I want that more than anything – I want Dean to teach me how to cook properly, I want to Sam and Amelia to invite us to their house for dinner and Anna to find someone nice and settle down with him. I want Dean and I to get jobs and live normal lives, to be safe and happy, and to be able to wake up every morning and smile because he will be the first thing I see.


Most of all, I want Dean to have everything he wants, which means that if he wants me to leave after this, I will leave no matter how hard it is.

1st April, The Hospital, 01:56

We've got here, Dean ran ahead of me through the hospital.


Sam is still here and I'm fairly sure that Amelia is not a demon. (Dean threw holy water at her and the whole situation was quite embarrassing. I don't think it helped Amelia and Dean's relationship in the slightest.)


Amelia gave in and let us see Sam, Anna took her off to the café to drink coffee so we weren't interrupted. I suggested I wait outside but Dean said anything he wanted to say to Sam, he could say in front of me. I wish he would stop saying things like that if he doesn't want us to be together.


None of us are really sure what to do now. Sam is still unconscious and we have no leads of Crowley.

I think Dean wants to stay a while and look after his brother. I feel like I should leave now, but I feel uneasy leaving the Winchesters on their own when we do know where Crowley is.


I decided to sit quietly in the Impala.


I'm extremely tired, but I can't seem to sleep. Every time I close my eyes my brain keeps bringing up too many thoughts and worries. Is that normal? Does that happen to all humans? How am I supposed to live like this?


Some people think that everyone has one person they should spend the rest of their life is. What if Dean is my one person, but he doesn't want that? Can that happen?


If Sam doesn't wake up, it will kill Dean. I'm scared about what he would do if he lost his brother.


I'm also scared about what he'll do to save his brother. Both of them will all too easily sacrifice themselves for each other. I'm going to make sure they both get out of this alive.


Dean phoned me. It was one of the doctors treating Sam, not Amelia. Which means Crowley could have been pumping anything into Sam's system to keep him unconscious, to kill him – he had full control over Sam's life. How did we miss that? I should have noticed, I should have been able to tell something wasn't right.


Anna is getting Amelia out of the way; I need to find Dean and Crowley. I need to make sure Dean doesn't get himself hurt.


I found them. Crowley had Dean locked against the wall using telekinesis. He smiled when he saw me and said he had something for me; something which, if I took from him, could end all of this for the brothers. I could make Sam better, I could get them somewhere safe, I could protect them from him. I could even kill him.


Crowley didn't become King of Hell for no reason. He knows how to tear people apart. He knows how to tempt them.


It was my grace. He had my grace with him.