Disclosure: I don't own either NCIS or the characters nor do I make money. I just like playing with them.
Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo, Some light DiNozzo/others
Words: ~15,500 (total)
Rating: at least hard R
Warnings: male/male sex (in later chapers), crossdressing, shaving, drug-related sexual assault (not overly graphic), adult language. Oddly enough, even with the warnings, it's actually a fairly light-hearted story.
Summary: An unlikely costume lands Tony in the middle of an undercover Halloween op but could also lead him to a fairy-tale ending.
A/N: This was written for Tibbs Halloween 2012. Canon through Dead Air – AU afterwards. These events happen just after Dead Air in lieu of the "Cracked" episode. So no EJ, no Port to Port, and someone still has both eyes.
Very special thanks to rose_malmaison for a fabulous and thorough beta only for the absolutely incredible artwork she created to go with this story but for a fabulous and thorough beta job. This story wouldn't be half as good without her valuable input. All remaining mistakes belong to me – I'm greedy that way.
She also created some absolutely incredible artwork with this story. Since I can't post art at , you'll have to check it out at my Live Journal (The epilogue has both images) or at AO3 (Chapter 1 and the epilogue). I have the same pen name in both places.
Chapter 1 – Her Name was Tiffany
"Hey, where's everyone at?" Tony wandered back into the bullpen juggling a cupholder holding four coffees. He still couldn't believe Gibbs had sent him on the coffee run. He must still be pissed at him for when he was late on Monday. Since it was only Wednesday, Tony assumed he'd be doing probie work for another few days yet.
Tony thought back to that morning as he sat the drinks down on his desk. Gibbs hadn't found it amusing that he was late because he'd lock his keys in his car at his date's place. He actually hadn't but the truth was more embarrassing so he made up the story about locking his keys in his car. When Gibbs had asked why he didn't use his spare to let himself in his apartment to get the extra set, Tony had lied. "Wasn't at my place."
It probably would have been the end of the story except Ziva had to open her mouth again. "What's her name this week – Bunny? Babette? Bimbette?" she had asked, her voice laced with a snarkiness Tony had gotten used to whenever another woman was mentioned. McGee had laughed. Gibbs had kept busy looking his computer looking as if he were trying to forget they all existed.
"Funny – haha – her name was Tiffany," Tony had responded while shuffling some papers on his desk to look busy. It wasn't a lie exactly. He did spend the evening with a Tiffany: Tiffany Case from 'Diamonds Are Forever'. There had been a James Bond marathon that Tony had stayed up late to watch. "She was tall, leggy with long, lush hair," he said, picturing Jill St. John in his head.
"Tony, when will you ever date a girl with a real name?" Ziva had asked in an exasperated tone.
Tony had become a little pissed that she wouldn't let up. She'd been needling him since the whole Jeanne debacle three years prior, like she had some right to know everything going on in Tony's life. It was smothering. He was aware that Ziva had some feelings for him but he just couldn't reciprocate after everything they'd been through. He cared about her but not the same way. She was right that he wanted something different now, but Ziva wasn't it. He didn't know what 'it' was yet, but it wasn't her. He didn't have the heart to actually tell her that.
McGee needled him as well but wasn't as persistent. He knew McGee thought Ziva and Tony should get together – he'd written about it in that damn novel of his. Tony thought McGee just wanted them together in order to get Tony out of the way with Abby. After all, who in their right mind would cheat on Ziva? Tony was aware that McJealous always thought something had happened between Abby and Tony before McGee arrived. Nothing ever had but Abby's flirting did little to reassure Tim, even now that they were seeing each other a little more regularly.
Tony hadn't actually dated anyone in some time but Ziva and McGee continued to assume he did. It was easier to let them live with the assumptions, otherwise there'd be more pressure from Ziva and he'd finally have to tell her to back off. That would probably ruin the team for good. Damned if he did and damned if he didn't. Assumptions let him buy time in the hopes she would find someone else to focus on. At that moment though, her assumptions had pissed him off.
"Oh, maybe like 'Ziva'," he had said in a mocking tone of voice. He knew that would stop her from getting too nosy even if he knew she wouldn't react well to his insinuation.
"In your dreams!" Ziva had exclaimed with a snarl and threw her letter opener at him. He had ducked as it flew past him and lodged in the bulletin board behind him. "I could snap your scrawny body in two like I heard Agent Cassidy once did."
Tony's anger had flared up at the reminder of Paula manhandling him in the office in front of everyone. It had been fine when the two of them dated and it was done in private but Paula had crossed a line when she had done that in the office. He still missed her but it had hurt that he had clearly felt more for her than she did for him. That was why he didn't want to get involved with Ziva. It would have been the same mistake in reverse. He was about to fire back but Gibbs beat him to it.
Gibbs had stood and yelled, "Hey!" Everyone had frozen. "I'm going to break all of you if you don't shut up and do your damn jobs." He had glared them all for a long moment and finally spat, "I'm going for coffee," before stalking away quickly.