A/N: the third part of the Ella's plot. Next one, if anything changes, will be Teddy's birthday ^^ But is not written entirely yet, so it might take a while. Thank you all for reading and commenting! :)
She heals me. It's as simple as that. Her, the love she gives me, the life she's building up with me. It comforts me every day. My dark soul is not so dark anymore, or at least, it doesn't torture me as it used to.
We're cuddling after we made love, and I nuzzle her neck, feeling much better than I have during the whole day. Actually, since the day I accepted Ana's idea to go to my mother's grave. I knew she wouldn't let it go, and deep inside me, I also knew she was right. I had to do this. For him, for my Teddy. It's not like we can avoid the topic of being adopted in my family, since we three – Mia, Elliot and me – are.
"A penny for your thoughts" she sighs contently, her fingers running lazily through my chest hair over and over again. I can almost feel her smile, her eyes closed.
I kiss her throat, her chin, slowly, savoring her and kiss her mouth, pouring in that kiss all my love. She cups my face and sighs against my lips.
"I was congratulating myself on the smart woman I have" I tease her.
"Oh, you liar" she pouts and giggle, making me kiss her again.
I reach for her nightgown on the floor – that I'm sure she put in just to please me. She knows I prefer her in satin instead of my shirts, which she wears anyway – and hand it to her.
"Put it on"
I try not to sound like the dominant in me, although it kind of comes out that way. I reach for my pants and jump out of the bed, leaving Ana staring after me, confused. Her face lights up when I enter our bedroom less than five minutes later and I crawl back into bed, carefully placing the sleeping form of our Blip in between us. His mouth is slightly open and he hasn't even noticed that I carried him over here.
His mummy pushes the cover up and I cuddle him carefully against my chest, extending my other arm to Ana, who happily snuggles under it and against our child.
Teddy stirs a little, I hush him until he's quiet again. He moves awkwardly, his head now tucked right under my chin, making me smile. My baby's so precious to me. He's discovering the world and I want to show him everything. Make him happy. Be enough for him.
I look up to find Ana staring at me lovingly. I smile and pull a strand of hair behind her ear. I trace the lines of her face, her lips. She smiles. I don't know what I would do without her. My life would be a succession of grey and dull days, merging one into the other. She saved me. They both do, everyday. Placing my hand sprawled over the end of my wife's back, I kiss my baby's ruffled hair. Ana says it is just like mine. I know she's right, and I love it. Although is too soon to tell, I think this little man has my looks, but hopefully his mother's temper. I wonder again, how it would be if we had another one. A little brunette princess with blue eyes. Yes, I wonder.
Ana kisses my nose, I can feel the grin splitting my face in two. I feel happy and in peace here, in our little bubble. Marveling that they exist and that they love me. Amazed at the immensity of it all. That the dirty and neglected little boy from Detroit is laying here, with his own little boy in his arms, and a loving woman by his side.
Yes, Ella will always be my mother, whatever I like it or want it or not. Just like Teddy will always be my son, no matter what the future brings. Always. My son. My wife. My family.
So, for once, I'm the one awake, watching him sleep. I bet my not-so-Fifty-now, is dragged after a day like today. I still feel a little guilty. I wish things could be easier. But they're not. And I'm happy that this dark, tremendous obstacle, seems t be getting out of our way finally.
I see Teddy moving instinctively closer to his daddy and how Christian's body responses, naturally pulling him closer. I haven't really thought about since the day Ted was born – haven't had much time to think at all! I mean, my life's the way it is, my husband the way he is. And I am happy with the way things are. But man, how can your life change.
Specially the last six months, with the arrival of our offspring. I've worked from home, but even Christian has. There wouldn't have been a force on Earth to keep him away from us. He would go to the office of Grey Holding only in case of urgency. Yeah, sure, he was hanging off the phone every now and then. But still, he managed to be devoted to us the greatest part of the time. Jumping at any noise Teddy would make at night. Bringing him to me, so I could feed him. Worrying to death with every single colic, spending sleepless nights just to make sure the baby breathed when he got a cold and spent a few days sick. And I mean no sleeping at all. Me, I would bolt awake every time I heard him stir. But Christian would literally sit by the crib and not even blink, I swear. I feared that he would get sick too.
Nothing to see with the arrogant CEO I met that first day.
Yes, it's been quite a ride. For both of us, but most of all, for Christian. I've always dreamed, wanted, searched. I've felt loved, loved my family and showed it. I wouldn't go as far as saying I had never felt alone. I mean, I've never been a social person with tonz of friends. Although Kate and José were enough for me the greatest part of the times. My life was simple, uncomplicated, but love was always on me one way or another.
Christian, in the other hand… he's the one who has traveled farther. He never ceases to amaze me at how far he's gotten. He had so much to release, to share. I'm amazed at the amount of love he has inside of him, ready to give. That's his real wealth. I doubt he will ever realize this, but it's true. Love he has been keeping, saving, burying since he was four years old, unable to show it. Punishing himself first, punishing others later. He's gone from the cold, always in control dominating, to the warm, gentle man that I love. Sure, he has a complex, controlling, temperamental personality. But that's not a problem that needs to be solved anymore. It's just the way he is. Just like I am stubborn, too proud and exasperating some times, always trying to make things my way, colliding with him. But again, I don't think that's a bad thing neither. It's good that couples argue as much as they agree. Otherwise, everything would be too dull, right? And once thing I can be sure of, is that anything will be dull by Christian's side.
No, I never knew much about love or relationships. But I know that this is the real thing. That I found the love I didn't even know existed. That I'm really lucky for being Mrs Grey. That my husband will always take care of me and our Teddy.
How can I doubt it, when I'm lying here, with him holding me tight in his arms even as he sleeps? When he brought our baby just to feel him close, to have his family near him?
I lean down to smell my baby boy, leaving a kiss in the back of his head, his hair soft and damped from his sleep. He's like a little radiator, always warm. I look up at my husband, who finally sleeps peacefully, and it's heaven for me to see.
The world outside doesn't exist. And my eyelids start to feel heavy… I touch Teddy's shoulder, Christian's arm, just to make sure they're really there. I put one hand on Teddy's back, between him and my heart, the other on Christian's cheek. Each passing second becoming harder and harder to keep my eyes open. The room is bathed in a clear, soft moonlight, quiet except for the sound of our breathings. I feel my eyes close… but even in my darkness, I'm not alone. I feel us, the three of us. Sacred.