A/N: Ok we are going off the story a little but it ties in don't worry.
Chapter 6: Memory Lost
Snarls…Blood…war howls…pain in my shoulder and my head. My eyes opened and I find myself on a battlefield; surrounded by wolves both I didn't know and wolves I felt I knew but their names wouldn't come to me.
The world kept shifting around me and I moved as fast as I could. I wanted to get away from it all of this death and the more I hobbled away from the sounds the more I felt my head clear slightly but the pain I felt more of as well.
I leaned against a tree closing my eyes against the torrent of incoherent information and memoirs.
Silver fur flashed through my mind…changing to laughter…then to pain…the sorrow…then a strong resolve…a grave…a silver streaked, dark grey pup held close to me…Then blackness and the pain receded.
But the one thing that made me panic the most…was the one question that could answer all of these questions…Who am I!? Pounded through my head the most; clamoring for my attention.
"Stop." I said, my voice sounded hoarse and cracked. I stared at a tree feeling my unsteadiness leave as my eyes focused on it and I felt the world grow steady beneath me once more.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply and my mind cleared somewhat though the panic was still there.
Ok then think of a name to call yourself for now… I thought to myself and a name popped into my mind that seemed familiar to me and I seemed to know it well but I knew it wasn't MY name. Well beggars can't be choosers. I thought to myself.
"Alright…for now my name is Loken…at least now I can give a wolf a name if I run into anyone." I told myself and now that I could a name to myself the panic left me and I continued to limp away from all that behind me.
I walked for hours when suddenly I ran into a drop I hadn't seen and rolled down a small hill and when I landed my head hit the ground bouncing a little.
The pain came back sharply and I just laid there not wanting to move. Then I saw a few wolves coming towards me and I lifted my head and held out a paw toward them as they came closer and I noticed one of them had a creamy coat, "Help me." I croaked out then saw only blackness.
My eyes snapped open with a start and I found myself shaking and breathing heavily. "Loken, honey, are you alright?" I heard a voice ask me and I looked to see the wolf from my dream, Xena, my mate.
She was a cream colored wolf with sapphire blue eyes…and the love of my life.
I smiled reassuringly at her "Don't worry dear; it just was a bad dream." And I nuzzled her and said "Go back to sleep." She looked at me doubtfully but put her head back down and soon after went back to sleep.
After a few minutes I let loose a sigh and got up and stepped out of the den to see another wolf looking at the stars and I smiled as I realized it was my daughter Armel.
Well I should say my step daughter. Armel was a chocolate brown wolf from her father and patches of cream from her mother while her eyes were auburn; again from her father.
Her father's name was Xander and he, Armel, and Xena had been the ones that had found me and had helped me back to health- somewhat I still couldn't remember most of my past save garbled information. But nothings perfect.
The pack had token my in- which was easy since Xander and Xena were the pack leaders- since I couldn't remember who I was or where I came from. Is all I had been able to give them was the name I came up with- Loken.
I and Xander had been friends virtually from the start. I'd been made one of his second in commands- and I proved I could take it with ease even with the fact I had to deal with a few idiots…who learned it was not wise to disobey any of my orders.
Sometimes a small piece of knowledge or something I could do in the past would come to me and I would end up doing something strange.
One time this had happened was when I was asked to train Armel how to hunt when a bobcat had jumped out of nowhere. I yelled at Armel to run and she did but I stood my ground against the cat.
We had circled each other but I had begun to feel…different. My eyesight suddenly felt sharper and I was moving almost faster than the bobcat. Rage was also what filled me and I could feel my guard hairs rise with it and my bared teeth showed it as well.
The cat attacked leaping at my throat but I just side stepped it having it soar past me and I leaped at its back feeling my fangs sink into the back of its skull.
After a violent convulses it dropped dead before me and it felt as if I had done this before to another cat…or wolf. But I digress.
Of how I had become mates with Xena was by cruel fate to Xander.
He had been in a very bad hunting accident one day that had left him with a broken back that he hadn't survived. But on his death bed he had asked me to care for his wife and daughter for him since he wouldn't live. I had promised to do just that and as the months past after his death and the more I was there for them both. Xena fell in love with me…and I fell in love with her.
As for Armel; she has accepted it because she knows how much I love her mother but still took her sometime to accept me as her father.
"Can't sleep either?" I said behind her.
She started and turned around and smiled when she saw me. "How long were you standing there?" she asked.
I chuckled "Only for a minute, but what are you doing up? You need your rest." I told her.
She sighed and turned back to look at the stars and I sat next to her to wait for her to say something; also watching the stars.
"You know anyone can say the same about you needing your rest." She said still looking at the stars.
Star, the name popped in my head and I frowned as several emotions coursed through me…most prominent grief, but I pushed them to the back of my mind deciding to deal with them later.
I looked at her side on with a smile and said "True but I don't have to get married tomorrow." I said gently and she tensed when I said the 'married'.
Ah! That's the problem! I thought.
"Yea, your right." She said but I could hear her nervousness.
I cocked my eyebrow, "Nervous?" I asked gently.
She took a deep breath and exhaled and said "Yes; most defiantly. I'm just not sure." She said shaking her head.
"How...how do you know that you love someone?" she asked me.
"You saying you don't know if you love Justin?" I asked.
She turned angrily at me and said "Of course I do! I love Justin more than anything in the whole world and nothing will ever change that!" she said.
I smiled and said "Well then you answered your own question." I told her and she looked confused so I elaborated, "You were quick to defend him and your love to him. If you really weren't too sure you would have hesitated and have proved that you didn't really love him. But I can tell you love him…and the talk I had with him the other day assured me he loves you." I said with a smile.
Her head shot up at that, "You talked to Justin without me knowing?" she said in annoyance.
I chuckled and said "Hey, I'm giving away daughter even if you're not my biological daughter-you're my daughter nonetheless." I told her with a smile.
She chuckled and said "Yea I guess you're right. Thanks…dad." She told me and gave me a hug.
I felt my eyes go wide in surprise but then soften to a smile and I returned the hug and said "Now we should go get some sleep; it's been a long day." She nodded in agreement and we ended the hug and walked back to the den and I lay down next to Xena and soon after I fell asleep.
Meanwhile Armel was staring at the ceiling of the den waiting for sleep to take her and as it was coming on she heard her step father say in his sleep "Starlark…thank you."
'I wonder who Starlark is.' She wondered to herself and drifted off to sleep excited about her wedding tomorrow with Justin of the shadow wolf clan.
A/N: Ok seriously can anyone guess who Loken really is? Please review.