Will's finally got home after the American Taliban broadcast and the first thing he did was that he poured himself a really large glass of Scotch. God, what a day. His head was aching and his heart was beating like he just finished marathon. He sat down on the sofa, absolutely exhausted, trying to think. Did he just lost hist job, got it back (but only thanks to the blackmailing), pissed off half of the nation (or at least all the Tea Party voters) and – he still couldn't believe it – did he almost kissed Mackenzie? And did she just hired the Sorority Girs as their new intern? The girl who had every reason to hate him, but she wanted to be a Greater Fool instead. His kid of Camelot… He really had no other option than to escape ACN as fast as he was able to. Jesus Christ.
So here he was, sitting in his appartment, head in his hands. „Think McAvoy, just try to think, you idiot". Whisky calmed him down a bit. Ok, he didn't care about Leona and Reese at all. Especially Reese could go fuck himself, he's got what he deserved. And working without a permanent fear of getting fired will be so much easier. If they didn't do what they did, he would be fired right after the show tonight, he was absolutely sure about it. He smiled. The show was good, one of the best he ever made. THEY ever made. And here it was again. Mackenzie.
Well, he was expecting she will sooner or later find out there was something in the voicemail message she might like to know. But they were so busy since he was back from the hospital, that Mac had no time for thinking about the content of that deleted voicemail at all. But he knew all the time that she will find out. And no matter how hard he was thinking about it, he had no idea, what he will do when it happens. And when it happened, he still had no idea what to do. So he was pretending amnesia and she – what a surprise – didn't belive him a single word. And when he finally tried to tell her (because she was chasing him around with those puppy eyes), she admitted it was really her at Norhwestern. He was absolutely unprepared for this. His first intention was to kiss her but then he's got scared and started to yell at her instead. God.
She is smart, he was pretty sure that she knows the most of the story by now – she can only guess what was in the message, but she definitely figured out, that he hired Brian only to punish her for not answering it. And that he's got so upset about it, that he started to eat antidepressants. Which, together with considerable amount of alcohol and lack of sleep got him to the hospital. There is no way that he would be able to convince her that all this mess had nothing to do with that fucking voicemail. And wores, he was hundred percents sure she would leave him alone until he tells her. Screw it.
What was she asking? „Just say what you're feeling…" Oh, if he only could, but it was such an emotianal roller coaster… He wasn't ready to say aloud that he loves her. After he was finally able to admit himself, he fucked everything up by leaving her the voicemail. God, he was convinced for almost three months that she rejected him - it was such a relief that she has never heard the message… It meant she not only didn't reject him, but she was standing by his side no matter how idiotically he was acting. He really felt like complete idiot now... „Be honest to yourself McAvoy, it's a miracle that she is still here. If she didn't love her job so much, she would quit right after Brian crossed the treshold". He said it loudly and sighed.
And this was the other part of the problem. It seemed it has not so much to do with the job – it looks much more likely that it might has something to do with him. „She still loves you", he whispered. He was sure about it now. She was sitting almost 24 hours a day next to his hospital bed. She practically said it while yelling at Jim. And he still could see her eyes when she was asking about the message right in fromt of him… She loves him. He smiled.
He would expected that all that I-can-not-forgive-her crap will come up, but in the light of the recent events it looked somehow stupid. He really couldn't forgive her, no matter how hard he was trying. The picture of her with Brian caused him almost physical pain. It always came back – the image of her cheating on him with Brian while he was happily picking the engagement rings. But now… He was so ashamed that he poured his heart to her and she didn't even anwer that he didn't tell anyone. Not even to Habib. Insted of admitting his feeling he was trying to convince him (and himself) that the only way how he can forgive and move on with his life is treating Mac like shit. Now, when he knew that she didn't deserve it all, he wasn't sure who should be forgiven. They really fucked everything up…
But he wanted to fix it. Having her back was the best thing that could possibly happen to him. And if she still loves him, after all… Suddenly he knew exactly what he should do. He finished the glass and reached for his blacberry.