A/N: Just thought I'd let you all know that I have a wattpad account (same username, rainbowsugarcupcakes) where I will post all my stories if they are deleted from this website.

Harry's point of view.

I haven't seen Louis all day. I also haven't showered, eaten, or put on a shirt all day but I can't bring myself to care about those things, not when Louis won't answer my calls or texts. I knew this would be Louis' immediate reaction, to run. Most of the time he's very good about facing things head-on and not being afraid. But there are some things he just can't handle. I never wanted to be one of those things for him.

I had hoped that I would be the first to wake up. If that had happened maybe I could've gotten him to stay or at least talk to me, say something before he bolted. I know he would've been freaked out but so am I. I could've helped him. We could've helped each other through this. But none of that happened. And that hurts. It hurts to know that he woke up, saw me sleeping there, and his first thought was to leave.

For what feels like the millionth time that day I turn over the note in my hands. The words written on it are not in Louis' usual loopy handwriting but looks as though he had been shaking while scribbling down those seven words.

"I'm going out. Don't look for me."

Why would he have been shaking? Was he angry with himself that he had stooped so low and to slept with me? Was he crying at the thought that our friendship would never ever be the same again? Or was he scared? Scared of me? Does he think I… oh my God does he think I raped him?

"Oh God." I whisper to myself because I might as well have. I had known that he was to liquored up to make reasonable decisions, I had known that if he were sober he never would have said the things he did, I had known that he'd hate me in the morning, but what did I do? I gave into temptation. I let myself fuck him while my subconscious screamed at me the entire time about how wrong this was. But did I care? No, I looked past that easily because Louis was so hot and so needy and so drunk and willing and "Oh my god yes Harry right there!" rang in my ears far louder than "What the hell are you doing you fucking idiot?" ever could. I raped Louis.

At that exact moment I heard the sound of keys jingling and the creak of the front door opening. "Harry?" Louis' meek little voice chimes and I just barely resist the urge to crawl under the couch I was sitting on. "Harry?" Louis repeats as he rounds the corner his face appears relatively calm until his eyes land on mine.

"Harry are… are you crying?"

"Am I?" I ask because I genuinely don't know. I wouldn't be surprised though.

"Oh Harry." He says taking a seat beside me. I shy away from him immediately feeling disgusted with myself, having him trying to comfort me after what I did to him.

"Harry don't be like that." He says and I can tell by the way his voice sounds that he's already so close to tears.

"Oh yeah, and why not? It's what you did to me." I say without thinking and immediately regret it. He should be angry with me not the other way around.

"Harry I'm sorry." The hurt is evident in his tone and I can't bring myself to look him in the eyes anymore. "This isn't… I… fuck." He stutters out and I feel tears start to drip down my face.

"I'm really sorry Louis." I say quietly.

"What?" He asks sounding genuinely confused though I can't imagine why.

"I'm sorry that I did that to you. I should've just made sure you got to bed and left. But I didn't and I'm disgusting and horrible and selfish and God Louis I'm so sorry." I'm sobbing hard now it hurts my chest every time I try to breath.

"Harry what are you talking about?" I can tell he's crying to and the sound hurts worse than anything I've ever felt in my entire life.

"Louis I raped you!" I shout loudly, punching the coffee table hard out of anger for myself. And when I look back up at Louis he looks so shocked and afraid that I just want to die. "I raped you." I say, softer this time.

"Harry I…" He starts but his voice breaks. "Harry that's not true."

"Don't." I say sternly, wiping the tears off my cheeks. I don't want him to make excuses for me to try and salvage our friendship. It won't work. "I should go." I whisper as I stand up. "I've done enough."

"Stop!" He says, grabbing my wrist and standing in front of me. "Harry you didn't rape me."

"Louis if you were sober you wouldn't have wanted it and I…"

"Shut up!" He interrupts me loudly. "Now you listen to me, that may not have been the way I pictured this happening but don't you dare tell me that I didn't want it." He snaps at me. There's a moment of silence where I let his words wash over me before I whisper softly,

"You don't hate me?" Tears start to form in my eyes again and Louis immediately relaxes as his eyes soften at my words.

"No I don't hate you." He says, pulling me by the shoulders into a tight hug. "I could never hate you, Harry." I feel myself release a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I wrap my arms around his hips.

"And I don't regret last night either." He says as if he can read my mind. "I just didn't think I'd be so blackout drunk our first time."

"Have you thought about our first time before?" I ask and he chuckles against my neck.

"Yeah I have. A lot." He nearly whispers and I can imagine the embarrassed blush that has spread across his cheeks.

"Oh have you?" I snicker, suddenly feeling much better than I did just minutes before.

"Mmhm." He hums as he pulls away slightly with a small smile, leaving our faces less than an inch apart. But before anything else happens I need to say something.

"I want us to be together Lou." I say seriously looking straight into his crystal clear blue eyes and my heart skips a beat as, without a moment's hesitation, he says,

"I want that to, Harry." I smile wider than I've ever smiled before and when I lean in down to kiss him it feels so great because I know I can.

"I love you, Harry." He says as though he didn't mean to and his face becomes so shocked and scared for a moment but I just laugh and kiss away all his fear with a small whisper of,

"I love you to, Boobear."


A/N: IT'S OVER! Thank you all so much for your support throughout this story! You're all so amazing and incredible and nice and PATIENT! I cannot believe that this story has one favorite, six followers, nine reviews, and OVER TWO THOUSAND VIEWS! WHAT? YEAH YOU HEARD ME. Seriously it means the world to me, I love you all so very, very much and you will hopefully be hearing from me soon! BYE!