Author's notes: I wrote this for another site. After making screencaps of the whole series I had these thoughts running through my head. I thought I would post it here for any visitors to the Guardian site, plus it could be accessed through my profile
Disclaimer: I do not own the Guardian no matter how badly I want to
Nick sat down wearily in the rocking chair and looked lovingly at his daughter, Anne. He had changed her diaper and hopefully now with the feed she will go back to sleep. Despite Lulu not wanting to be with him anymore she had agreed to him sleeping over and taking the nighttime feeds at the weekends while she is recovering from her cesarean. Nick looked around the colourful nursery, which they had managed to get decorated in time before the early arrival of Anne' and smiled to himself - he really was a dad.
It had been two weeks since Anne's birth and Nick's life had changed in so many aspects he barely recognized himself. He looked down at his daughter, her eyes were closed, her hands clenched into such tiny fists and she was sucking with deep concentration on her bottle, Anne opened her eyes as if she was aware that he was looking at her, she is so beautiful, he bent down and gave her a gentle kiss. . It was going to be a hard road for Anne, with greater possibilities of medical problems and with society but Nick also had seen that children with Downs syndrome can be happy and productive and Nick was going to be there with Anne to make her way as smooth as possible. He remembered the night when Lulu had told him about the test results and how he not slept a wink but had researched the condition and cried for the future they had lost. But then Alvin had given him the opportunity to work with Mark and Nick was touched by his sweet spirit and Nick had realized that their future wasn't lost, just changed. In fact Anne will have a lot to teach him about discovering happiness in his life. Nick promised once again that he would be the best dad he could be, he didn't want Anne to have the same relationship with him as he had with his father.
Nick remembered how abandoned and lost he had felt when he was left alone at the boarding school, still reeling from the death of his Mother. The holidays where he had been a nuisance in his father's life with the both of them just waiting for the day when the school term would begin once his dad had asked him to come to work with him at his firm, it had given Nick hope that perhaps his dad did want him. It turned out to be frustrating as they didn't know how to relate to one another and his dad had retreated,to the familiar role of boss, As Nick thought about his dad the old familiar anger tensed every fiber of his body and Anne squirmed beneath him. Nick looked down at Anne and suddenly saw a picture in his mind of his dad holding him and experiencing the same overwhelming feelings of love and protection for this new person in his life. His father had made mistakes, but no doubt he would make some too, but his dad had also been there for him during his drug bust even though, Nick must have caused him great embarrassment. His dad had risked everything to keep him out of jail and had still kept him on at the firm. Nick felt a shock run through his system, how would he feel if it was Anne in his place, the pain, worry and despair overwhelmed him. Nick began to realize the distress he had caused his father and recognized the moments when his dad had dared to reach out and show concern knowing that it would be rebuffed, and was, much to Nick's chagrin.