Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my ideas!
A/N: Told in Courtney's POV
Duncan doesn't know that when we are in bed together that I stay awake all night and think of only you. He apologized time and time again for cheating and I took him back because I felt I didn't have a choice because Duncan doesn't know that I cheated first! It would break his heart. Duncan is laying next to me sleeping peacefully and all I want is to get out of his bed and into yours. Duncan is a light sleeper so we both know it's hard to do.
Duncan doesn't know that I'm actually the one who cheated first, I'm sure he would be surprised to find out it was you I cheated on him with but Duncan knows I'll do whatever it takes to win the game even if it involves screwing the host. I actually do feel bad about, I even promised myself I would only do it once but then you had to make me an offer I couldn't refuse and you started helping me win challenges and giving me special rules so to me it's worth it.
Duncan also believes that story we made up about me filing a lawsuit to get on season two, If he knew that we were screwing around the whole time he wouldn't like that, I don't know if he'd cry or try to beat your face in. Duncan doesn't know that it all started out as a strategy and now it happens at least 3 times a week.
Duncan doesn't know that every time we kiss I only think of you and how much more experienced you are than him and how much better you're kiss tastes to me. Duncan doesn't know that you're a better fuck then he is either. Duncan thought I was a virgin the first time he and I had sex but he doesn't know that my first time was with you because if he did that would obviously ruin everything.
Duncan thinks I take late night showers because it's peaceful and I want time to myself, He never suspects that we have fun in the shower. Duncan doesn't know that just being with you in the hot and steamy shower turns me on the second you walk in and remove your towel, If only he knew that alone turned me on more than ANYTHING he could ever try to do he wouldn't be happy about that.
Duncan doesn't know how many times we spent the night in your hot tub, If he knew that they would have voted me out of the game a long time ago. Duncan doesn't know that when he kissed Gwen on international TV I was relieved, I thought I could stop lying to him, I had no idea he would beg me to go back out with him and as I mentioned before if I didn't feel bad about everything I would have turned him down.
Duncan remembers the pregnancy scare we had back in season 2, He was worried about being a father, I was more worried about telling him it was yours! I'm glad my 'friend' came to visit me though, I wasn't ready to tell him it was yours. I'm only on every season because of you, We both know that but Duncan doesn't
Duncan doesn't know that I'm in love with you, I know you know it and I already know you told me you didn't feel the same way and you just wanted the sex, That was the moment I know I should have walked away but I'm a winner and I'll do whatever it takes, As long as you don't stop touching me the way you do I'll be game for whatever you want even though we both know there is no love there on your part.
I know that I'm nothing more than your personal whore, It's a sad deal I made with you in season 1 and I've just gotten in way to deep. Duncan has no clue how much I want to love him the way I used to but you know I can't with you in the way. I've talked to you about that and you usually laugh.
Duncan doesn't know that I have a key to your room, Duncan has no clue how impatient I'm getting waiting to see you, Duncan doesn't know how many times we turned the confessionals off and used them for our own purposes.
"Princess?" Duncan woke up "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to get a drink of water" I tell him "Do you want any?"
"Sure" Duncan smiled at me and I went to get him his water.
Duncan has no clue I just grabbed 4 sleeping pills and crushed them in his water, He doesn't know that it's the only way I can continue to do what I'm doing. I'll give him his water and he'll be out cold within minutes, It always works.
Now Duncan is out cold, I have a few hours to make time for us before I have to sneak back into Duncan's bed. Duncan doesn't know that I'm slowly making my way down the hallway to your room and now I'm lightly knocking on the door so you know it's me.
Duncan has no clue that you opened the door and grabbed me instantly pinning me to the wall and that you are now taking of my clothes, Duncan wouldn't like it if he found out that we are making out while I'm wearing his shirt.
Duncan wouldn't like it if he knew you were holding me with my legs wrapped around your waist and my arms wrapped around your neck as I undo your belt and we make our way over to your bed. Duncan doesn't know what we are doing just a few doors down, I'm surprised he can't hear it, The others always talk about who has loud sex at breakfast but of course Duncan doesn't know because when we do it we try to be quiet.
Duncan doesn't know I freshen up for him in your bathroom either before I go back to his room, Duncan doesn't know that I promise you it will happen again soon. What you don't know though is that I'll go back and have sex with Duncan and pretend it was you, I have to watch I don't moan the wrong name.
"I should get back to Duncan's room" I tell you.
"I'll see you tomorrow night then?" You ask me.
I kiss you on the lips but you don't return it, That's when reality kicks in that you don't have love for me and we only have a dirty deal going on.
"I love you, Chris" I whisper to you hoping you'll say it back.
"Duncan doesn't know" is all you respond to me before you open the door for me to leave.
"I'll tell him if you want" I confess and you just shake your head 'No'
"Duncan doesn't need to know" you tell me as I walk down the hallway back to his room to continue this lie I live and this desire to be with you.