I am the father of two children. But I feel great anxiety regarding my parenting skills...Just last week, these two took a lighter to a can of bug spray and burned all the hair off a classmate's head!
" I'm terribly sorry," I said. " I feel horrible. You two! Start apologizing!"
" Moron, loser, octopus-headed asswipe."
" Go dive in the ocean and fart out black ink."
" AW, DAAAAAD!"
" Just what sort of parenting are you conducting in your home! Are you prepared to take responsibility for the young master's nervous breakdown?!"
" I haven't the slightest idea what you're-"
" Goodness Gracious! Don't you play coy with me, mister!"
" Hey hey. What do you want to play today?"
" Well, I was thinking of playing doctor! I even got all the tools and stuff ready!"
" Uh, gosh, my favorite anime is about to start so..."
" Ooh, we can play that kind of doctor too."
" Playing doctor the way the grown-ups do it. Your little boy won't last a minute in our capable hands."
" No, no, no, no! I don't wanna! Daddy!"
" Let's play Unit 731!"
" Ever since the young master has begun to wet the bed again! He keeps mumbling about marathon man or some such, making no sense at all!"
" What a wimp, brother dearest."
" If he can't handle something like that, he's going to have hard time in life."
GO APOLOGIZE NOW!"
My anxiety keeps on growing and growing. I tried talking to my wife about it, but she refused to get involved.
" Honey, can't this wait till tomorrow? Anyway, isn't raising the children your job?"
Well, at least they're young children when they sleep. Or not...
How to make a shamisen ( three-stringed Japanese guitar),
With the HAMSTERS! So very anxious.
But after awhile...
" Say, dad?"
" Have you seen the pressure cooker?"
" Oh, um, I think it's in the pantry on the right."
" Okay, dad."
" So, did you bring the you-know-what?"
" You put ball bearings in that thing and I'll kill you."
I think I've gotten used to it.
Ian finally woke up. He was staring at the sight of shorts up to a girl's navel. It wasn't a girl though. It was Goro, the coolest and horniest of his friend, snapping his fingers in his face.
" Wake up!"
Inside the Hinata House all its inhabitants were doing their normal duties. Rina and Yui were trying to clean up the kitchen; impossible. Goro was outside, obviously, trying to get Ian inside. And no one saw Naru, Mutsuni, or Kaollu since Daisuke and Mr. Bianchi went upstairs.
Ichigo and Nikki were sitting on a couch. Ichigo was working his mojo on her. Ichigo was ready for some smooth talking.
" I'm keeping something very powerful under my trousers. You want to check. I have a coupon with gin with your name on it."
* Nikki's Imagination*
Nikki was in a eighteenth century ball, with Daisuke. A masquerade ball. There was dancing. Daisuke was wearing sexy glasses. There was something about men in glasses that aroused Nikki. He-was-so-HOT! Daisuke took Nikki's hand with his fingerless glove and walked her towards the ball.
Nikki and Daisuke were dancing. The moment the masquerade people saw Nikki and Dasiuke dance they placed a slow kind of music. The music was without words and just kept singing three notes over and over again. But to Nikki they were three notes of wonder-he got to spend every moment with Daisuke.
" It's a good thing my ancestor's found a fun way to burn off those calories," Daisuke said to Nikki. Daisuke had a happy smile on his face.
Daisuke pulled Nikki's hand out. Daisuke twirled Nikki around. Nikki's head fell flat against Daisuke's chest. Daisuke was rubbing his hand through Nikki's hair. She could feel Daisuke's breath against her face. The whole floor transformed into a lake.
From the puddle wet amoeba's appeared. The amoebas were split into two pairs. Each one looked like Nikki and Daisuke, and they all appeared to be dancing with each other. Nikki noticed fish swimming through the lake. She could see the fish glowing under the pond. It was magical.
" Hello, H-Hello. Babe, are you still going to blow me off?"
Ichigo heard the sound of knocking.
Ichigo sighed. It was obvious Ian and Goro. Ichigo heard the sound of knocking again. Ichigo walked up to the door and swung it open.
It wasn't Ian and Goro.
But Ichigo was in deep shit. So deep shit. The person staying behind the door, not only older and much more mature than him, was also the person who could kill him, again.
" Oh crap."