When Gero was a kid he didn't have any friends. He was still so cute a lot of the girls in his school had a crush on him. But they had no appeal in Gero's older women radar. Gero should've been too young to notice women, but he was sucked into their magazines, products, and television shows. What young Gero liked to do most was play his violent video game with his toy gun.
" Yeah! Get some! Get some! Come here and die! You, die! You monsters can die! Oh, you want some too? Come over here and die. Bam! Bam! Bam! I am the greatest with the gun!"
Gero would play video games every minute of every day if it wasn't for his mother. She waltzed in his room, her auburn hair wet after just taking a bath, and she took Gero's plastic gun away.
" Wait! Nooooo!" Gero watched as the aliens grabbed ahold of his character. In giant yellow letters Game Over appeared on the screen." Mom…you killed me. You killed your own son!"
" What a hoot. Son dies in video game and real mom does it. Someone call the telephone because I'm calling the MACPVG. Mother's Against Children Playing Video Games."
" I was finally about to beat my old score. Thanks Mom." Paragraph
" Don't give me that attitude. You have a lot of chores to do. Your first chore: clean the dishes. Since the dishwasher is being replaced I want it done in the sink, soap in one and hot water in the other, and I want you to dry them after cleaning."
Gero hated his mother. He knew the last time she was kissed was two years ago. She hears how all her old friends are getting married to young co-workers and rich old men, while she like in five room apartment with her over hyperactive third grade son. As much of a bitch as Gero's mother was, it was better than having a father in his life.
While cleaning the dishes he sees people walking outside his apartment complex. He is attracted to a thirty something year old woman holding her six year old daughter. She looked Brazilian; a little dark skin with an ass bigger than Miami. Gero didn't think the girl was her daughter because she was a Jap like him.
" I wonder what it would be like if she was my mother. She can hold my hand, make me dinner, and I can have a bath with her all the time—"
Gero fantasied about living with a stepmother while her husband is always away. Half a year no man has ever touched her, than one night while she's drunk off her ass thinking about leaving her husband, Gero comes in and gives her the passionate night she deserves. Gero looks through the window, sees his mother staring at him in a foul and unhappy glance. Gero returns to washing.
" Gero, today I have a new chore for you. I'm going to busy with the car in the garage so I won't be getting the groceries. I want you to skateboard to the grocery store and pick up everything on this list."
Gero's mother gave him a list. Gero ran to his room to fetch his skateboard. He closed the door behind him. He kept his skateboard in the closet under a box full of toys. He dug through the toys: plastic guns, firecrackers, action figures, his costume from last Halloween—Aang from Avatar the Last Airbender Book one: Water.
"Of course the reason she needs a car is she's a freelance journalist. She's not exclusive to a single paper. She travels a lot and leaves me alone. One of these days one of us will be speechless and sprawled over the bed."
Gero picked up his skateboard and rushed down the stairs. He jumped three steps on every step. Some steps he almost fell. On the bottom of the stairs he jumped on his skateboard even though he was still inside the apartment, and the overweight landlord yelled at him to get out.
" Can you believe how awesome I am? I can skateboard like a pro. Whirlwind 180 Spin!"
Gero pretended to be inside the eye of a tornado. He pressed his right foot at the very back of his skateboard and let it spin around. He rotated his legs giving the skateboard momentum in its turns until he snapped the skateboard back down.
" Now for the Space Buster Roll-Spin!"
Gero jumped off his skateboard. He then proceeded by kicking the left side of his skateboard and letting it fall over. The skateboard rolled almost up when Gero jumped on top of it.
" This is the most amazing, incredibly awesome skateboard anyone can ever buy for their son."
Gero saw another women over forty. Seeing her gave him a sense of arousal. She was thirty-six, maybe married for eight years, a president of some kind, bespectacled with giant lips that were made for smother a man in kisses. And she had a big ass Gero just wanted to stick his face in. Her smell was like a pheromone drawing Gero closer. Gero skateboard past her to the grocery store.
Gero was in the grocery story. A Muslim cash register was reading a book Gero thought was a big waste of time. When Gero reached the milk section a beautiful orange haired mother and her blonde haired son came in. The son was holding her hand. He was Gero's age, but the last time Gero's mother held his hand was five years ago.
" Gero?" The boy said placing himself in front of Gero. " Gero. Are you at the grocery store all alone?"
" Who are you?" Gero asked.
" You don't know my name? But we are in the same class. I'm Ian. Ian Urishima."
" Are you the kid who opened up a detective club in the school?" Gero asked again.
" That's me. I want to be a detective when I grow up."
" Is that your mother?" Gero liked Ian's mother. She was old but she still looked young. She had eyes that sparkled out of a second world, and she was in the timeline of emperor's and war...she would be a princess to the empire.
" You're not lying?"
" Yes. Mommy says it's not good for kids to be outside all alone. A stranger might come and take you away."
" Tell your mom she's hot, but she doesn't know me. There aren't anyone in this stupid place that scares me."
" Want to be friends?"
" Hell no."
Gero walked out of the grocery store. It was really mean what Gero said to Ian, but he didn't care. He made it a habit of never being friends with anyone. On his way out he saw a poster taped to the side of the grocery store next to a lost dog sign.
" There's a real skateboard tournament in this stupid place? It's happening tomorrow? Tomorrow is Saturday so…I don't have school."
Gero found the golden ticket to his boring life. He picked up his skateboard and ran away from the grocery store. He was running twenty blocks, thirty blocks, and forty blocks and he didn't feel tired. He gets into the home managing to sneak past the doorman and get to his room.
When Gero opened that door he was in for a surprise. He didn't see his mother. He was greeted by his two uncles, his youngest uncles wife, a woman wearing a completely black dress and a black bug mask looking hat, his uncles daughter, the daughters aunt on her mothers' side, and his grandparents playing cards.
" If you have A's in your hand why would you call a zero?" His grandmother said like a rusty old woman.
" Don't tell me how to play," his grandfather talked back to her.
" Your Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is making you forget 2 from zero."
" The last round they slipped you nine cards when everyone should have seven. How did they do that?"
" Gero, how would you like to help your grandma?"
" Gero, what do you have to say to your relatives and grandparents that were kind enough to visit us?" Gero's mother said. She was holding an envelope. They normally didn't get mail, so her holding an envelope could only mean one thing to him.
" Visit? Don't you mean they came over to give you money?" Gero said in his smart voice.
" We do not talk about relatives and money in the same sentence! Anyway, your Uncle Tsai is getting married."
" But Uncle Tsai is already married to Aunt Suki," Gero said.
" Not for long," the woman in black said. " Tsai and I are getting married."
" Aunt Suki, are you going to let Uncle Tsai get married to this skank?"
" Oh what the—"
" He will be married…when I am dead."
" Mom, there's a tournament tomorrow—"
" This is not the time for that, Gero!" Gero's mother shouted.
" Come now," Uncle Tsai said. " Let's hear what Gero has to say."
" You rock, Uncle Tsai. Mom, there's this skateboard tournament tomorrow and I really want to enter. Can I please enter?"
Meanwhile...the modern day Gero, the Gero who was dating Mitsuni, was friends with Ian, still loved skateboarding, has sex constantly, and was sucked in his own worst nightmares was watching the events take place. Gero listened to his mother agreeing after the entire family telling her how "great" Gero would be in the tournament. Future Gero was worried about one person and one person only.
" Poor Uncle Tsai."