Atem had never known Kaiba to be the sort of man that broke promises. Only out of necessity would he- if they were important. That line of questioning left a little bit of chaffing here and there when Kaiba would forget or be late for things he promised. Dating wasn't really their thing, he understood that. Even thinking about it made him feel awkward. He wasn't even sure he'd really call this a relationship. He wasn't sure that Kaiba would either. All he really knew was that he felt for the other, deeply. It was too late to go back now. And if he didn't he wouldn't feel bad every time Kaiba got caught up at work.
He knew he should have learned better by this far into it. Work was more important. On Kaiba's list of things that mattered there was Mokuba, Kaiba Corporation, and then possibly he came third. When he dwelled on it, no matter how necessary he knew it was, and fair besides, it still hurt. It was why he didn't like to often think about their relationship. Or whatever it was. It was what it was. It didn't need tweaking. And even if it did there never would be any.
It just bruised him when he fought so hard to get little things out of Kaiba. Like times to go places, to spend time together. He had to fight so hard for them, in fact, because Kaiba was often unmovable. And work always came first. And then Kaiba would get lost in it and forget he had said anything at all. Or he'd show up hours late, frowning and Atem was supposed to just forgive. Sometimes that happened. Sometimes they fought and didn't talk for weeks. Atem had tried for a long time to find a battle plan that worked. In the end it seemed like the only thing he could do was swallow his feelings and his hurt.
Kaiba cared. It had taken a long time for him to see it more visibly than to just understand it. So it wasn't that Kaiba was out to hurt him by leaving him hanging. He knew. Of course he knew that.
An hour and a half after the CEO failed to show Atem removed himself from the couch at the manor and went to the door. He took a car to Kaiba Corporation, took the elevator up, passed by the secretary and then went into the office. Kaiba looked a mess. Then again it was getting to be that time of the season. That he'd even worked anything out of the man was a wonder to begin with, so it wasn't like he hadn't thought this would happen.
Atem came in quietly, shut the door, and stood awkwardly in the middle of the office. Were they going to fight again? He didn't want to. Even as he felt now he really wasn't in the mood for it. But then why come here? He hadn't really put much thought into it. He hadn't wanted to go to his apartment to brood. To wait for Kaiba to show up and look at him darkly like things were his fault. Like he should know better than to ask for anything.
His hands clenched at his sides. Kaiba hadn't even looked up yet. Why did he subject himself to this?
What more could he do?
His feet felt heavy as he forced himself to move. He walked past the couch which would normally be the place he'd drop to. Instead he came by Kaiba's desk, the brunet finally seeming to catch a spark of recognition for what was going on. Atem seated himself on the corner of Kaiba's desk, looking out the large windows to the darkened city below.
He felt Kaiba looking at him but he refused to look back. Silence hung in the air before Kaiba went back to typing. He must have figured that since Atem came to him the legwork had all been done. …was he really that callous? Atem's eyebrows drew together. He felt like screaming. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. He didn't deserve this. His hand clenched tightly on Kaiba's desk as he still forced himself to look outside, not at Kaiba. If he did he might lose it.
Then he heard the typing slow before he felt Kaiba's hand on top of his. His breath caught tightly, it became hard to breathe. He felt water sting at his eyes but he refused anything further. He still wouldn't look. He had gone so tense he was shaking. What was that gesture? Was it meant to fix everything? He held his breath to keep from doing anything. From exploding. From making himself look like a fool. His lips pressed tight together as he fought. And then he drew a shuddering breath in and released it.
Calmed. Eased a little. Though with it the hurt spread wider.
His hand unballed and he felt Kaiba take the opportunity to twine their fingers. Where hurt still lay a sheet of warmth covered over it. He was fooling himself, he knew. And he should have fought. He should have yelled. But he was so tired of it. His hand squeezed back. The typing slowed even more before stopping and he knew Kaiba was looking at him again.
"Busy?" He asked in a forced devoid tone. Eyes still on the city.
"…very." Kaiba's tone was full of uncertainty- or perhaps there was a note of regret. Kaiba might have been wrapped up in work but he wasn't careless.
Atem's head drooped forward as he clutched at Kaiba's hand like a lifeline; holding himself back from doing much else. "Alright." It wasn't. It never was. Every time this happened a hole in his chest got wider, deeper. It hurt more every time.
"Give me an hour." Another promise. Atem knew he'd be fool to continue taking them. They should have just stopped. Stop making promises so that they could be broken. Wasn't he important, too?
"Take your time." His voice had gone tight, holding back still. He heard Kaiba's chair creak as the brunet turned just slightly. He raised their hands so that he could cup Atem's with both. A small, soft gesture. He knew Kaiba was looking at him. But he refused. If he couldn't scream let that be his punishment. He knew how much it killed the CEO when he wasn't paying attention. When he wasn't giving enough cues to go on.
They stayed there for a minute before Kaiba's hands left his and he was forced to put them on his lap. He'd cemented his place on Kaiba's desk now. Maybe his presence would remind the man more than a promise would.