I do not own 'Naruto'
Naruto was training as hard as he could. Why, because he finally had the free moment.
He had a little less than a month until the Chunin exam finals.
His first match was with Neji Hyuga. He wasn't worried, in fact he was looking forward to putting that Hyuga in his place. The only real competition he had was Gaara. The rest were just there, that didn't mean he would take them likely. He would give it his all in every fight.
Unfortunately he couldn't train as often as he would have liked. Why, the problem was with the Uchiha and Hatake. Naruto often sensed them around trying to take his techniques.
He tried going to the Hokage but it wasn't enough. Without actual evidence it would be his word against theirs. Even the Hokage couldn't punish people without evidence.
So Naruto decided to do things his way. That included using his foxes as guards. They may not be very numerous, but they were very skilled guards.
They, however weren't his only problem.
He sensed two more.
Strangers, watching him.
Samui was one of the if not the most attractive woman in Kumo. She was both a fear and respected kunoichi. Her business like personality and skill had saw to that.
When given a mission she went through with it without question.
Even ones such as this.
Engage Naruto Uzumaki A.K.A. The Mirage Fox and see if the rumors are true. If they are then seduce and become impregnated with his child. If not, then if possible, obtain sword and return to Kumo.
Naruto Uzumaki, recent graduate and former dobe of his class. Fought Zabuza Momochi twice and caused the slaughtered near two hundred bandits. Turned Momochi into a Konoha Shinobi and liberated Wave country. Severed the hand of Orochimaru of the Sannin and forced him to flee. Konoha really needed to keep an eye on their secrets, that kind of information draw attention.
You never know when there might be a spy listening in.
Now if only she could find him.
Naruto was tired of hiding from the strangers. He would meet one of them head on and he would do it at his land. It's better to have the advantage of home turf, in case things got messy.
Now all he had to do was sit back and wait for the arrival.
"I'm looking for Naruto Uzumaki" she spoke "are you him?"
"I am" he answered evenly "and this is private property."
Samui was impressed. Most of the time men would be staring at her chest or turn into stuttering. Not Naruto, he was relaxed but also guarded. Must be the blindfolds.
"I am Samui, Jounin of Kumo, I hear that you are pretty goo with a sword" she spoke "I wish to test that"
"Fine" he spoke, it would be good training
As he drew his sword she stopped him.
"I would like for you to use this sword" she handed him a well forged Katana "if that's okay"
So that's your game he thought find out if it is the sword or me
I have to end this as quickly as possible. Naruto wasn't foolish enough to think he could beat a Jounin in a head on fight. Even with his trickery he was highly outmatched.
She charged him with speed worthy of her rank. As she entered striking distance she did so without hesitation.
Samui was shocked, Naruto floated behind her, upside down. He had his sword pointed to her back ready to strike. She knew he had a clear shot to at least one lethal area.
"As you can see the skill is mine own" he stated shocking her even further "not the sword"
"I see" she whispered "what gave me away?"
"The minute you stated who you were and where you were from" he answered "why else would a foreign Jounin be interested in me?"
"I... was careless"
"Now what do you really want?" he asked "be honest, I'm a sensor" he explained "if I find that your lying, then this sword goes in."
Samui mentally cursed. Sensors were a pain to deal with in the Shinobi world. You couldn't lie to one of them and you definitely couldn't hide from one.
"I was ordered to seduce and bare your child" she answered
"Let's begin" she began undressing
"Wha- wait, stop" he shouted dropping the Genjutsu
Samui paused and looked around. "Is this area not satisfactory?"
"No, it's not that..." she cut him off
"Am I not satisfactory?"
"No, you very beautiful" he paused thinking of what to say next
Samui couldn't contain her blush. Back in Kumo she has been called both hot and sexy but never beautiful. She had to admit, it was a nice change.
I don't get it Why was he turning her down, most men would have jumped at the chance for her. Maybe...
"I have a brother if..." she stopped when she saw him shudder "never mind"
"You are very attractive" he stated "I just don't like being... used!"
She was surprised by the amount of hate in his voice.
What should I do now, what could she do? If she left now then she would be a laughing stock in Kumo. A kunoichi that couldn't even seduce a teenage boy. Losing to him was no problem, he's proven to have real skill, but not being able to seduce him. Samui felt like laughing at herself.
It would be easier to think if her back wasn't killing her. She couldn't keep in the groans of ache out of her voice. Why was I cursed with such a large chest? It was a question she asked herself often.
"Are you okay?" he asked
"My back is killing me" she admitted
"I'm not surprised" he admitted "with a chest like that who wouldn't be?"
"Yeah...well" so he's like the rest, eyeing my chest
"Want a massage?" he asked earning a glare "I'v been told that I'm good at them."
"...Fine" she answered after some though. If he tried anything then it could help her complete her seduction mission.
He took his jacket off and laid it on the grown. She removed her shirt, with Naruto looking away, and laid on it.
Once he began she felt as if she were in heaven. She would let out a moan of pleasure near constantly of he kneaded her back.
"You are good" she admitted "what kind of oil are you using?"
"No oil" he stated "my blood"
"...Please explain" she spoke, tensing under his palms
"My blood had healing properties." he didn't elaborate any further.
She began to re-relax under his kneading hands. It wasn't long before she began to feel drowsy. After awhile longer she fell asleep under Naruto's working hands.
Naruto was very surprised of the Kumo Jounin. For a foreign Shinobi, Jounin no less, to fall asleep in another's hands, her back must have been aching her for a while. Such a vulnerable state left them as easy targets for anyone.
As she slept Naruto heard a wonderful sound. It was a gentle music that called him for him to follow, he did so. Who am I to deny music?
Once he reached the source he was on guard. The music came from a women playing a flute. That wasn't why he was on guard, no, he was on guard for two other reasons. The first reason he was on guard was because she was the second stranger following him. The second, the music she was playing was laced with Genjutsu.
Tayuya was a feared Kunoichi of sound. Her Genjutsu had and skills has made her one of the Sound Four, Orochimaru's personal guards.
She had been given a mission by Orochimaru himself. Seduce Naruto and bare his child or face punishment. Failure for Orochimaru was not taken lightly.
Unlike most who thought it was the sword, he knew Naruto ability came from another source, the Kyuubi.
"Hello" Naruto greeted "this is private property."
"I'm sorry" the redhead spoke "I just wanted a peaceful place to play"
"Well if it's okay..." he asked, he liked her music "can I hear some more?"
You dumb ass she thought now I can seduce this shit head and get knocked up... not looking forward to these nine months. Well Orochimaru said he had plenty of stamina so it shouldn't be too bad.
She began to play her most alluring music. Under the tune was a lightly laced seduction Genjutsu.
As the moments passed she noticed no change in the blond, he just stood there calmly. She decided to subtly add a little more chakra to the song as she played.
What's wrong with this shithead? He should be a mindless... her thoughts were cut short as the song ended.
"That was amazing" he complimented "now tell me who you are and what you" he ordered "I want the truth or your head comes off."
She felt two sharp blades press against her neck. Looking around she saw two solid clones with their weapons drawn on her. When the fuck did he make those?
"Isn't it obvious Uzumaki?" a familiar asked "She's here for the same reason as me."
"Hello Samui" Naruto greeted "I see you enjoyed your nap."
Who the hell is melon tits over there? Tayuya asked herself
"Yes, I slept very well" Samui stated "I was surprised to find that I was..." she paused
"Untouched, unchained?" Naruto offered "un-"
"All of the above" she admitted
"I told you that I was only going to..."
"Hey shit head, I'm still hear" Tayuya shouted "and who the hell is melon tits over there, why did she say I was here for the same reason?"
"Just as I stated" Samui answered ignoring the name "you're here to seduce Naruto Uzumaki, right?"
"What if I am?" she challenged, the clones pressed their blades closer to her neck.
"Then you should give up" Naruto answered "As I stated to Samui-Chan here" that earned a blush from said -Chan "I don't like to be used."
"Well listen shithead" she ordered "I don't want to fail my leader, so drop your pants."
"Hey, melon tits, what do you say to a team up?" Tayuya called "he can't stop both of us and we get what we want."
"Well..." she seemed to be thinking it over
"Maybe you two would like to hear my proposition" Naruto stated "I'm sure both sides would be happy."
Samui and Tayuya shared a look before nodding.
Naruto reached into his coat and pulled out two scrolls. Ones he had prepared in advance for this very occasion. They tried to open it but he stopped them, didn't wan't people to know.
"I want you to hand this to your leader" Naruto stated to Samui "if they agree then I want you to personally return to me." he looked to Tayuya "this one is for you"
"You have these already, shithead?" Tayuya asked in disbelief "How"
"I knew you two have been watching me for a while" he answered "you shouldn't try to sneak up on a sensor."
They mentally, Samui did at least, cursed. Of course you don't sneak up when a sensor is involved. They were trackers, it's what they're made for.
"Fine" Samui agreed "I'll have the answer as soon as possible."
"Same here shithead" Tayuya answered
They both left. If this kid was as good as they say then he was offering something good.
Naruto had sent the Kunoichi off a few days ago. He was expecting their leader's response pretty soon. With what they're being offered I expect an answer soon.
After a hard days training, he decided to relax. There was no reason he should overwork himself, plus he earned this time off.
Now if only someone would stopped that perverted giggling. Wait a sec, that's coming from the female side.
With great skill and grace Naruto jumped out of the water. He made his way to the female side and followed the unfamiliar chakra. What he found was an old man staring through a hole.
"Hey pervert, stop peeking on those women."
As the words left his mouth it entered the man's ears. The man stood and looked at Naruto as if insulted.
"Did you just call me a pervert?" he asked
"I am no mere pervert" he stated "I am Jiraiya..." Naruto's mind began to fade as some crazy intro went on "and I am a super pervert."
"Thank you" Naruto stated
"Oh have you read my book?" Jiraiya asked "are you thanking me for it's wonderful...details?"
"No" Naruto answered "I'm thanking you for digging yourself into a grave" he undid his blindfold "but for your honesty I'll reward you."
Jiraiya made the mistake of looking Naruto in the eye.
Naruto motioned for Jiraiya to turn around. The toad Sannin did and was greeted by a gracious sight. It was a hoard of beautiful women dressed in nothing but towels. They were making their way to him with a certain sway in their hips.
"Jiraiya-Sama" they called "We love you, do you love us?"
"Yes" he screamed "I love all of you, would any of y..."
The silenced him by putting a finger to his lip.
"Have you heard of tough love?" one asked
The one who silenced him earlier answered. By headbutting him in the nose, there wasn't much force in it, just the surprise of a attractive women headbutting him.
Then it happened, their beautiful faces were gone. In their place were horrible reptilian like scales and blank, puss filled eye sockets. As soon as he saw it they vanished, as if they were never there.
One of the women punched in the face. This blow had force behind it, it knocked the Sannin to the ground.
"W-why?" he asked
"Some times love hurts Jiraiya-Sama" they answered " and we love you a lot"
They all began to grab weapons from nowhere and hold them menacingly.
"But..." Jiraiya was cut of by a blow to the head.
The women continued to beat the Sannin with the skill and strength of a pack of Kunoichi. He begged for mercy but there was none for him.
"You have left me no choice" Jiraiya shouted
Under him a giant toad appeared. It wasn't too large, around the size of a large human.
"A frog won't save you from our love Jiraiya-Sama" they purred
"FROG!" the toad shouted in indignation "I'll show you a FROG"
The toad gave them a mighty blow with a water Jutsu. The blast was enough for them to begin to dissolve as if they were melting.
"Such a waste" Jiraiya whispered as he dispelled the toad "they were such inspirations"
"We forgive you" a feminine voice spoke
Jiraiya looked and saw the women as they began to reform. Their melted skin began to smoke and bubble. In mere seconds there became living flames. That's a new meaning to the word hot.
"How..." he asked
"We forgive you because we love you" they answered "and we love you to death."
They each tackled the Sannin as one. With the unbalanced weight and fear of burning to death the Sannin fell over. He fell into the water of the empty hot spring hoping to douse the flames.
The water merely caught aflame as well.
Naruto watched as he burned.
"SAVE ME" he begged
"Why?" Naruto asked
"Hello Naru-oh my Kami" Haku couldn't believe the sight (Bet you forgot her)
"Hello Haku-Chan" Naruto greeted "where have you been?"
"We have to help him!" she prepared to freeze the water
"NO" Naruto shouted "Let him cook"
"W-why?" she asked afraid of the answer
"Because I'm have frog legs for dinner"
"The Raikage-Sama want's to know if you can honestly pull your end off" Samui stated
"Same with me shit head" Tayuya stated
"I can, but only if they agree" Naruto spoke
"Then it's a deal" Samui answered "You'd better not be lying Uzumaki, I put my word in for you"
"Let's us begin" Naruto stated
"Begin what?" Samui asked
"You've lost your chance for a piece of ass" Tayuya stated
"No" Naruto waved her off "my training"
"Training, why the hell would we train you?" Tayuya asked
"Well I need to win to hold up my end of the bargain don't I?" Naruto asked "Since this is a way around your failed seduction" they flinched at the shame "you two need to ensure that I win"
"That answers her" Tayuya stated "why would I train you?"
"So that you can brag about it" he tried, he had no real reason for Tayuya
"I bet you think your so damn clever" Tayuya growled "don't you shit head?"
"Do we have a deal?" he asked still calm
"Fine" Samui answered
"Oh what the hell" Tayuya spoke "I can torture you for a while?"
"Don't you mean train?"
"I know what I fucking said"
Naruto was enjoying a nice little break from training.
At least until his Sensei's find him. I think those women are trying to kill me.
"Hello Uzumaki-San" a new voice greeted "how are you?"
Naruto jumped away and drew his sword, on high alert.
He looked to see a bandaged old man.
Who ever he was, he wasn't to be taken lightly. He was able to, not only sneak up on Naruto, but get so close. As Naruto pulsed his sensor ability he realized something, I still can't sense him, but I sense a dozen others. How had he missed that? Each were well hidden and each were at least Jounin level with the Chakra they had.
"Who are you?" Naruto asked "what do you want?"
"I have an offer for you" he stated
"Your name" Naruto repeated
"Danzo" he answered
"I would like to train you" he stated "for the finals"
"What is the catch?" there is almost always a catch
"No catch at all" he answered
Even if Naruto couldn't sense him, which he still couldn't, he would have said no. He knew when he was being lied to, it's something that served him well over the years.
"No deal, there is always a catch" Naruto answered
"Very well, let's say this meeting never happened" he placed a scroll on the floor "and this as insurance, I'm sure you'd enjoy it" he gave Naruto a calculating look "if you can use it"
Danzo gave the ground a simple tap with his cane. The hidden Shinobi were dispersing like roaches when the lights are turned on. After a moment they were gone, and so was Danzo.
He had a clone check the scroll for traps. He may have been curious but he was even more cautious. Living in Konoha had burned that into his memory.
What he read was enough to interest Kyuubi. This will be the perfect payback for that thieving Uchiha.
He was in a real good mood, only one thing could make it better.
"Hey shit head, we've been looking for you" Tayuya stated
Naruto wasn't surprised.
"Samui Sensei, Tayuya Sensei" he called "How would you two like to get some dinner with me, you know, as a date?"
I KNOW YOU ALL HATE THESE MYSTERIES.
NO, I'M NOT TELLING THE DEAL OR WHAT DANZO GAVE.
P.S. TAYUYA HAS SPOKE THE MOST CURSES IN THIS CHAPTER THAN THE STORY