She was there physically, but mentally she was lost. She isolated herself when she wasn't out on a mission. The team tried to talk to her but she shut them out. She didn't want to have any ties with her friends anymore. She would have left the team but she made a commitment to defend the city, and she had no place to go. She would spend all of her time in her room. Her room was her haven, her safe place, her hiding spot, her domain. But the team never bothered her there. If they knew what she was doing in there then they would have been very very concerned
She was there in her room surrounded by books. They were thrown across the ground half open with papers falling out, pages torn. She paced her room knocking things over as they got into her way. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't go around being judged as a creepy Goth girl. She was sick and tired of people staring at her and instantly judging her. She may not have shown it but on the inside she was losing more and more self-confidence.
It was sitting on her bed, all shiny and untouched. It called to her, almost as hypnotizing her. She went over and picked it up and held it in her hand, feeling the coolness and heaviness. She sighed before bringing the blade against her skin and watching until red spots appeared against her pale wrist. She repeated the process over and over until she heard someone outside of her door knocking. "What do you want?" "Raven, are you ok?" It was Beast Boy, he was always checking in on her when she least expected it. "Yeah I'm fine now go away." She pressed the blade to hard into her skin and cried out in pain. "Raven! What's going on?" "Nothing, go away!" "Not until you open the door and look me in the eye telling me that everything is fine." She rolled her eyes and after one final cut she got up to open the door. "I'm fine, now go away" Beast Boy stared at her in awe with a mixture of depression. "Raven what happened to you?"
Before she could answer she passed out into his arms from the high amount of blood she lost. "Raven, Guys, I need help fast!" Beast Boy took off her cape which revealed more scars along her body. He didn't think there was any part of her body that wasn't cut. Robin came first followed by Cyborg and Starfire. "Beast Boy what's wrong?" Before Beast Boy could answer everyone gasped as they had saw the scene before them.
About a half hour later, she was bandaged up and taken to Beast Boy's room for close observation until she woke up. When she did wake up, she was very confused and unoriented. "Raven, you're awake" She tried to get up but he pushed her gently back down. "You need your rest." She didn't object, instead she let him push her down. "I'm sorry Beast Boy." He didn't say anything. Instead he got up off of his bed and moved over the the window and watched Jump City. "Beast boy?" "Why did you do it? You could've killed yourself." Raven was quiet, she didn't know how to respond. "It helped me deal with my emotional pain." This pissed him off. He turned and stared at her harshly, his nostrils flaring. He looked like he was going to slap her but he stood down. "You hurt yourself over that? There are so many ways you can deal with pain Raven and cutting isn't one of them. We're you're friends, you can talk to us. Do you have any idea how hard it would be on us if you died?" Tears started streaming down her face at the harshness of his words. He realized that he may have been a bit too direct and he sighed looking away.
She willed her body to sit up in the bed. It hurt and she felt instantly dizzy but she ignored the feelings and slowly got out of bed. She stumbles to the window where Beast Boy was thinking to himself. She started seeing spots but she refused to pass out, instead she grabbed on to his arm for support. He was startled to see her out of bed but instantly grabbed her arms to help her balance. "Raven what are you doing out of bed? You could hurt yourself even more." Tears streamed down her face, she began to feel very dizzy by now but she once again ignored it. "Beast Boy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. If I could take it all back I would. I'm sorry I hurt myself and I'm sorry I hurt everyone. And most of all I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't know you cared about me." He looked shocked at her outburst but quickly recovered and wiped her tears away with his one hand while supporting her with the other. "Raven, I always cared about you. You just never let me in. I was always looking out for you. Raven, if anything happened to you I would never forgive myself. Raven, I love you. You're my everything. Without you I don't see a point in living anymore. You're strong and beautiful and the most amazing girl I ever met."
Knowing she couldn't stand by herself for much longer he picked her up into his arms. She looked hesitant but then wrapped his arms around his neck. "Beast Boy, I know it's hard for me to show my emotions, it's because I have to be in control of my emotions to control my powers. You scared me, you come along and I feel so many emotions and my powers can overtake me at any moment. I had to keep my distance. It was for the team's safety. I'm sorry. But the truth is I love you too." Beast Boy's face lit up and he smiled his large crooked smile. "That's all I needed to hear." Before she could object he leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was short and sweet, he didn't want to hurt her, but it was the nicest kiss he could of imagined.
He took her over to his bed and laid her on it. "I will always be thee for you Raven, protecting you, and loving you." "Thanks Beast Boy." Beast Boy went to leave his room to let her rest but she called out to him fearfully. "What is it Raven? Are you hurt?" She shook her head and beckoned him over to his bed. "Please don't leave me alone. Stay with me tonight." He smiled and climbed into bed with her. "I'll stay with you always." She cuddled up into his chest and fell asleep. It was the best sleep she has had in a long time.