Priorities

A Mass Effect fanfiction by Andrew Joshua Talon

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. The Mass Effect series is the property of Bioware and EA Games. Please support the official release.

Based off of the "The Airlock is Ajar" snippet thread on Space Battles dot com, this is a oneshot I wrote. TIM's thought process behind making Dr. Eva Core's hookerbot body.


"As you can see sir, it's built of advanced alloys with nanotech interlocks and enhanced artificial musculature that can support cloned skin and hair for infiltration while simultaneously making it super humanly strong. Data link and cyber warfare capabilities are beyond any mech constructed before. The carbon nanotube armor can withstand-"

"Can you have sex with it?"

The designer blinked and looked at the Illusive Man. "I'm... Sorry sir?"

"Can you have sex with it?" The head of Cerberus asked again.

"... Well, I suppose-"

"If you can't have sex with it, it would be a poor infiltrator indeed," the Illusive Man said, rubbing his chin. "And if it wasn't sexy, it couldn't infiltrate properly anyway!"

"Ah, but sir, we think a nondescript male model would go without notice-"

"The thing with a beautiful sexy woman who you can have sex with is that people notice her, but they don't notice anything else about her," the Illusive Man said. "And besides, think of the assassination potential! Those poor bastards are balls deep in her, thinking they're the kings of the world and then... Bam! Dead!" The Illusive Man smirked and took a long drag off his cigarette. "It doesn't matter if it's invulnerable, what matters is using good old fashioned organic psychology to get what we want."

"Ah... I see sir," the designer said, nodding. "I completely understand!" How foolish he'd been, thinking the Illusive Man only wanted to know for his own-

"In fact, I myself will personally test out the prototypes," the Illusive Man said. "I'll need... Four at the very least. I'll hook you up with a programmer I know, does very good work."

The designer sagged a bit, but nodded with a sigh. "Yes sir..."

He should have known...


It's all in the execution, people.