Then Clint's voice breaks the silence. "Is that even possible? I mean, the Ring was destroyed, even if Sauron wasn't. Right? Wouldn't it be impossible to recover the melted gold in its entirety and reform the Ring?"
"No," a deep voice says, and Gandalf steps from the shadows. "It would not. Not if Sauron had someone of Loki's skill and determination."
I should have known we couldn't have an Avengers/Fellowship crossover without Gandalf along.
I feel almost relieved until Gandalf's next words are:
"Where's the physicist? We shall need him."
"Oh yay!" Sheldon excitedly exclaims, having reappeared at the wizard's call. "I'm going on the Quest with Gandalf!"
"Indeed," Gandalf states, looking at him quizzically. "You are not the physicist I was looking for."
Sheldon's excitement changes to immediate scorn. "Really? A Star Wars pun?"
"What's Star Wars?" Pippin asks.
"We'll show you later," Clint leans in to whisper.
Oh no. No no no no. We are NOT having a Star Wars marathon in MY house with THIS crew!
"Wanna bet?" Námo asks.
"Why are you even here?" I ask him.
"Mandos was boring. Vairë is moody. Oromë's out hunting… Let's face it, your place is the place to be at the moment."
"Actually, the place to be would be Middle-earth, would it not?" Aragorn asks.
"Estel!" Legolas gasps. "When did you arrive?"
"Oh about that time that tall skinny guy showed up." Aragorn points at Sheldon, who is excitedly chattering with Tony and Boromir about how to defeat Loki and Sauron once they get to Middle-earth.
"I brought him with me," Gandalf states.
"And we're so glad you did," Natasha adds, eyeing the Ranger King up and down.
"Ummm… Natasha," I start to warn her. "He's taken…"
But it's too late. There's a sword to Natasha's throat, which of course the Black Widow doesn't appreciate too much. And the next thing I know, I've got an all out cat fight going on in my living room between Black Widow and Arwen Undómiel!
"Oh my!" Sheldon says, wide-eyed but staying far back.
"Oh great," I add.
"Girl fight!" Tony shouts, and begins taking wagers on who will win.
Clint looks disconcerted and appears to be about to jump into the fray. But before he gets himself killed, the wonder twins, Elladan and Elrohir, arrive to drag their jealous sister off of Natasha.
Actually, Elladan's got Arwen, and Elrohir has Natasha, and Natasha looks to have forgotten all about Aragorn in the face of twin elven charm.
Great. Now the sons of Elrond are going to end up with S.H.I.E.L.D. issued arrows in their asses!
With all the chaos, going on, it's Steve who finally gets everyone back on track.
"Hey! Have you all forgotten we have two demi-gods bent on destruction on the loose? Perhaps we can actually focus on the problem at hand instead of each other?"
To my horror, Arwen's gaze snaps to Steve then drops to his backside. "Oh I like him," she says, and I wonder how many characters are going to die in my apartment before we even figure out how to get to Middle-earth.
"I don't mind," Aragorn says, grinning. "So long as she only looks."
Alrighty then! Aragorn's just a tad bit kinky in the 'I don't mind if my wife ogles the superhero so long as she doesn't touch him' way. But let's face it, there's not a woman alive who wouldn't like to touch that! And I ogle Steve's ass for a moment myself, until there's a growl of annoyance and I find myself locked in my Balrog slayer's arms in a fiery kiss that removes any desire to squeeze Steve's bottom.
Well, double alrighty then! Woo hoo!
I come back to my senses to find the room has gone from complete chaos to organized chatter. It's being decided just who is going along on the quest.
No one asks me.
"No one cares what you think" Námo reminds me.
"Go away," I say, uselessly. Of course he's not going to go until he wants to go. I turn my back on him and focus on what Tony's saying.
"All the Avengers are going, of course," Tony decides. (Who put him in charge?) "That's kind of why this story is being written in the first place."
Oh, good point!
"And us!" Merry adds. "You're not going anywhere without us!"
"But I don't wanna go!" Frodo whines.
"Now Mr. Frodo, we can't be having Sauron win after we went to such pains to defeat him the first time," Sam tells him.
"But he was supposed to stay defeated!" Frodo stomps a foot. "I didn't get stung by some monster spider and stabbed by the Witchking to have to do this all over again!"
"Ah," Clint says, "but this time you've got back up."
The rest of the Fellowship turns to look at Clint. "And what were we then?" Legolas asks. "Side kicks?"
Clint snaps, "You couldn't even keep track of a few Hobbits!"
"Oh I'd like to see you keep track of them," Aragorn snarls. "You have no idea how difficult it is to rein them in once they get an idea in their heads."
"Well, that sounds kind of familiar, actually," Natasha adds with a grin. "This group isn't exactly easy to keep tabs on either." She nods at the various Avengers.
Suddenly it dawns on me that Thor has been oddly quiet this whole time. I look around for him, but he's not there.
"What happened to Thor?" I ask.
Tony tilts his head in the direction of my small kitchen. "He's in there with Gimli. Making sandwiches, I think."
"Nay, my friends!" the god of Thunder's voice suddenly booms. And he walks out with a tray of Poptarts. "We have made snacks for all!"
I didn't even know I HAD Poptarts.
"I brought them," Gandalf says, looking mildly irritated. "Although, I had intended them for snacks on our quest, in lieu of Lembas Bread, since Galadriel sailed West and took her secret recipe with her!"
"You were planning to send us on a quest to defeat Loki and Sauron with only Poptarts to eat?"
"Well, and the Legolases can hunt."
"Do NOT call me Legolas!" Clint snaps.
"Agreed," Legolas says with a frown. "Maybe we should bring some Ritz crackers and Cheese Whiz."
"Now you're talking!" Tony jumps in. "And some blueberries."
Yeah, because that will make poptarts, crackers and cheese whiz healthy and nourishing.
"I've got Cliff bars," Natasha adds.
"Look," Bruce interrupts. "Let's focus on the important things for a minute. Supplies can be gathered once we figure out who is going, and how we can get there."
"Done," Tony says, and snaps his fingers.
In an instant, my apartment fades to nothing, and I find myself standing in the AvengersTower with the Avengers Assembled along with the Fellowship of the Ring.
Oh, and Sheldon Cooper.
"That's Dr. Sheldon Cooper, if you don't mind."
Dear Eru, what on earth have I done?
To Be Continued…
Author's Inquiry: Anyone actually reading this? I used to get quite a bit of feedback but since I started posting again, I've received ONE review. Just curious as to whether I'm wasting my time on this. I judge what to spend my time working on by the feedback I get. So if you want to read more, please review.