Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters!
A/n: most of my readers want a sequel but they don't want anything bad to happen...here's the thing, the sequel that I've planned is filled with more angst for edward and Bella! I hardly ever write a sweet story with only happiness in it. I love angst and hurt...and in the previous chapter I said that a sadistic Tanya will return in other words, MORE ANGST and HURT!
I'll write an epilogue for those of you who isn't interested in reading the sequel (filled with angst)
I feel like shit for not mentioning my beta in the previous chapter! She is so amazing and really helps me a lot! Browneyedgirl825 is my beta and I want to thank her for correcting all my errors...she is the best! :)
Chapter 33 - Blessings
It was a perfect rainy day!
Everything around me was beautiful and the bubbling happiness inside of me overflowed my heart.
Bella was four and a half months pregnant and Alice was due any day now.
Since our holiday at Isle Esme, Alice and Jasper's marriage changed miraculously. They both just needed to get laid; funny how sex could change lives.
I still miss my father but as life went on, it became easier to deal with his death. Plus, having Bella was a huge bonus as she carried me through it all.
Dad had left Isle Esme to mom with a huge amount of money. He also left us money and we decided to invest it in the school we planned to open. We wanted to use it for something good and decided to open an account to help talented students who didn't have the funds to pay for school.
Speaking off, our school was almost done. We bought a big piece of land and when we were given the green light, we hired the best construction company and gave them the go-ahead. We'd be opening in about five months.
"Dude, what are you thinking about?" Jasper asked.
"The school, and dad," I answered with a smile.
I was pretty damn excited about the school and couldn't wait to actually open.
"Excited much?" He asked.
"Hell yeah," I chuckled.
"And the baby?" He cocked an eyebrow.
"Dude, I'm beyond excited. I mean, I'm with Bella all the way this time; seeing her belly grow day by day...feeling my child kick from inside Bella's belly..." - I raked my fingers through my hair - "I can't even begin to describe it to you, not that I have to because you've been through it with Alice," I continued.
Our baby kicked for the very first time about a week ago.
Bella lay in the bed and I talked to our child that was growing inside of my wife. It was a ritual since Bella became pregnant and every morning and night, I would kiss her belly and say hello to my baby. I wanted him or her to know my voice and to know that I loved it deeply and so completely.
I kissed her belly and as I said that I loved him or her, it kicked. Pure contentment filled my entire being and tears flowed down my cheeks before a sob escaped my lips.
"And the more Bella's belly grows, the more I love her, man, and the more I want her," I said with a thick voice.
"Yeah, I know how that feels," he smiled.
"Bet you do, Mr. Big dick," I chuckled.
"Are you ever going to forget about that?" He asked.
"Nope," I said, popping the 'p'.
"Forget about what?" My sister's voice made both our heads shot up to see her waggle her way toward us.
"Just about Jasper's big dick," I laughed.
"Oh, that?" Alice rolled her eyes.
"Yes, that!" I said.
"Do I sense a little jealousy, dearest brother of mine?" She giggled as she carefully took a seat next to Japer.
"He has nothing to be jealous about," my wife said as she entered the living room with a tray of mugs - "believe me!" She added with a wink.
I smiled widely before I jumped up and took the tray from her. I planted a kiss on her plump lips and her lips parted slightly.
"I love you," I whispered into her mouth and she gasped before her lips trembled slightly. I pulled back in time to see her suck her bottom lip into her mouth, eyes filled with want and need.
"We're still in the room, gross?" Alice complained.
"I love you so much, Edward," Bella said, completely ignoring my sister.
We took our seats and sipped on the hot chocolate Bella made for us.
"So, Alice, are you ready for Carlisle junior to make his appearance?" Bella asked.
"Hell, yes! I mean, look at me," - she pointed to herself and rolled her eyes - "I'm huge and so uncomfortable. Plus, I can't wait to meet my little man," she cooed sweetly rubbing circles around her belly.
"So you're doing this naturally?" Bella asked and both Jasper and I gulped. I guessed that all men fear the thought of seeing their women in pain.
"Yes! I'm scared to death but I want to do this right," she answered. "How was it for you?" She asked Bella.
"It wasn't hard at all. I was in labor with Tristan for six hours and with Abbey it took all in all 45 minutes after my water broke," Bella said.
I swallowed sadly because I would have given anything to have been there with her.
Her hand cupped mine and I knew she knew what I was thinking about and that she wanted to comfort me. I smiled at her and took her fingers in mine before I raised her hand and kissed the back softly.
This time around, I'd be with Bella while she gave birth to our child. This time around, I'd be there to encourage her and help her. I'd be there to rub her back and whisper how much I loved her into her ear.
"I hope that Carlisle Junior comes as fast as Abbey did…but tell me, Bella, how was the pain?" Alice asked.
Bella chuckled before she shook her head slightly.
"Alice, it's not as bad as everyone make it out to be. And to be honest, it's the best feeling in this world when your baby comes out…I can't even begin to describe it; the overwhelming love I felt when my doctor placed Tristan and Abbey on my chest was beyond this world," Bella said with a smile. "I'm doing it naturally again this time because nothing can top that feeling," Bella said while looking at me with so much love.
I just smiled at my wife. She was such a good mother and loved Tristan and Abbey with her whole life. I was extremely excited to see her with our new addition to the family. To experience her motherhood from the very first time our child opened its eyes and to see how she cuddles it. I was excited to feel her love for our child as Bella's love always radiated off of her and touched me in every way possible.
"I believe you, Bella, but I've heard that the pain is unbearable," Alice said while biting on her bottom lip.
Bella laughed again.
"If it wasn't bearable, I wouldn't be here, Alice. You'll be fine, I promise."
"If you say so," Alice chuckled, "besides, you've been through it twice." She held two fingers up and giggled.
Bella and Alice talked about babies while Jasper and I talked about our school and the opening. We wanted to do something exciting that would attract a lot of people, especially students that would be interested in applying. We decided to do something three months before the school opens, this way we'd be able to have students enrolled before the opening of the school.
That gave us about two months to organize a concert that would represent our school. It wasn't a problem as we had a lot of famous bands as friends.
Emmett and Rosalie took Tristan and Abbey out for the day and when they returned, Tristan and Abbey talked our ears off of what they did with Em and Rose.
Em and Rose were engaged and planned to marry within this year.
It was a year filled with the sorrow of losing our father but also a year filled with so many blessings; Alice's baby, my baby and Em's wedding. It was a good year even though we lost our father and I believed that it was only getting better from here on out.
That night in bed Bella lay in my arms and I kept thinking about what she had told Alice about giving birth. She had told me about Tristan and Abbey's birth but I knew she kept something from me.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly, stroking my chest with her soft fingers.
"Tristan's birth…" I whispered softly. Her hand froze on my chest before she slowly rose onto her elbow to look into my eyes.
"And what about his birth has you so sad?" she asked.
"Tell me about it, love, tell me everything without leaving something out," I asked. My voice had desperation in it that I knew Bella couldn't resist.
"I've told you, Edward, I've told you everything." She sat up with her back facing me. My hand reached out of its own accord and started rubbing smooth circles on her back.
"I know you left something out," I said softly, "if you don't want to tell me, Bella, then it's fine. I understand completely and I'm sorry for pushing you," I said with a crooked smile even though she couldn't see it.
I patiently waited for her to crawl back into bed next to me. I've hurt this woman in the worst possible way and even though she had forgiven me, I still had a hard time forgiving myself for what I've done. I would probably always blame myself for the hurt Bella went through.
"For weeks I didn't think about you. I blocked you out of my mind and heart and refused to even think about you as my baby's father," she started saying.
My hand on her back froze for a second as her words hurt like hell. My fingers trembled when they continued their circular movements on her beautiful back.
"When my water broke, when it finally happened, reality sunk in; I was giving birth to my baby…our baby, and that thought alone nearly killed me," she said. She finally turned around and looked back at me with those chocolate brown eyes pooled with unshed tears.
I sat up and cupped her cheeks.
"Don't cry, love, I'm sorry I asked. I shouldn't have-"
"I want to tell you, Edward," she interrupted me and one tears rolled down her cheek. I quickly wiped it away with my thumb.
"Charlie and Rosalie supported me but the one person I wanted, the one person I needed to be there wasn't even aware that he was going to be a father," she smiled sadly. "The first contraction came and the only thing I was capable of doing was to whimper your name softly…when it was finally time to push, I screamed your name over and over again," she cried.
"Love, I'm so-"
"Rosalie begged me to call you and tell you about Tristan, but I refused…I refused, Edward. The doctor suggested epidural but I refused because I deserved the pain I was going through. I deserved it because I deprived you of your son and the only salvation was screaming for you, crying for you while I gave birth to our son," she sobbed.
I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly, hating myself for asking her about it. I rocked our bodies until Bella's sobs died down and little sniffling sounds were all I could hear.
"I'm sorry, love, I'm so sorry about everything!"
"Don't be sorry, Edward, we've said our sorries and we've given our forgiveness'. I'm sorry that I've kept that part from you; I should have told you when I told you about Tristan's birth. I forgot that you knew me better than I knew myself; I should have known that you would see that I've left something out," she said.
"You know that if I was given another chance that I would have never left that hotel room in the first place?" I asked.
"It really doesn't matter anymore, Cullen, we're together now. We're married with beautiful children and one more on the way…maybe even more in the future," she giggled. "This was the road we had to take to become the persons we are today. Stop living in the past because it's unchangeable," she said with a smile on her beautiful lips. She rose to her knees and grabbed a fistful of my hair before she threw one of her legs over my body and straddled me.
"You are the most forgiving, most compassionate woman I've ever laid eyes on, love-" I stopped mid-sentence when I felt her fingers wrap around my shaft. "Fuck, love, ungg," I moaned, unable to utter another word.
Her hand stroked me a couple of times before her thumb rubbed over the head and smeared the pre-cum over the tip. She stroked again and all I was capable of doing was to lean back onto my hands, moaning and whimpering with heavy breaths.
My eyes opened when I felt Bella move. She stared directly into my eyes while she lowered herself onto my cock. She took her time and with every inch of my dick she covered with her wet, warm, moist pussy, I growled her name out loud. Inch by mind numbing inch she covered me and I had to bite down on my bottom lip from the overwhelming sensations it caused. I was light-headed, my toes literally curled, my stomach tightened, my fingers dug into our sheets and my eyes rolled completely into the back of my head.
When she finally covered all of me, I opened my eyes and looked into hers. It was dilated again as it always did when we made love. "Hold onto me, love," I said huskily. She wrapped her arms around me and I quickly moved our combined bodies to the top of the bed. I leaned back against the headboard and sighed as I took my wife in.
She started rocking slowly and I looked at her beautiful naked body. I cupped her cheeks and trailed downward to her beautiful neck and collarbone. Silky soft skin under the tips of my fingers. I looked at her full breasts and cupped them.
"I love you, Edward," she said.
"I love you, too, Bella," I said before I quickly flipped us around. Her legs wrapped around my hips instantly with her heels digging into my ass.
I slowly pulled out before I slammed into her again. Bella threw her arms back and reached for the headboard. Her breasts displayed even more beautiful this way and I quickly sat back on my heels. I grabbed a few pillows and placed them underneath her.
"Beautiful," I uttered as I trailed my finger from her breasts to her swollen belly. Her hair sprawled out on the pillows, her eyes almost yellow with lust, her cheeks flushed with a beautiful pink and her lips half swollen from biting on it.
I started moving in and out of her again. Every touch, every kiss, every moan and whimper consumed my entire being. Our movements as one filled my soul with unconditional love and filled my heart in such a way that it felt like my chest wasn't big enough for my heart. I felt whole, complete in every way as Bella consumed every part of my heart, mind and soul.
When we cried out together, it filled the atmosphere with passion, lust and love. With our sweaty bodies still combined as one and our chests rose and fell together, I silently thanked God for giving me a second chance with Bella. I was overwhelmed with gratefulness for having Bella back in my life, for having two beautiful children and one on the way and for having so much love in my life that literally carried me through every single day of my life.
Alice and I had spent the entire day shopping for our babies and then we went for lunch. Alice was a little jittery and laughed it off every time I asked her about it. It bothered me and when I mentioned that I should take her to the hospital, she freaked, saying that it was nothing to worry about.
I stirred the tea I made for us and kept thinking that I should call Jasper.
"Bella," Alice said with a trembling voice and as I turned around, I saw her widened, fearful eyes staring back at me. It didn't take me long to figure out what had her so fearful as I saw water dripping on my kitchen floor.
"I think my water just broke," Alice said with a gasp.
"Ali, don't start to panic. Just relax and do that breathing thing you've learned," I said quickly. "This is your first baby and it might take a while-"
"A while?" She squealed as she bent forward and leaned on her knees as her first contraction came.
"Yes, Alice, a while," I said calmly while I rubbed her lower back. I remembered how it had helped me and how I wished that Edward could have been the one rubbing my back instead of Rose or Charlie.
"Bella," Alice hissed, "You lied," she forced out between clenched teeth.
"Lied? Lied about what?" I asked confused.
"It fucking hurts, Bella, it hurts so fucking much," she cried as yet another contraction came.
"Of course it hurts, Alice, but it's not that bad," I chuckled. She looked up and I swallowed from the death glare she gave me. "I'll give Jasper a call, mmm?" I said.
I dialed Jasper's number while we left the house and got into my car. I asked him to meet us at the hospital and he only hung up after I promised him that Alice was doing okay and that we were already on our way to the hospital.
Alice's contractions were about five minutes apart and by her screams and cries, I knew she was in pain. I remember giving birth to both my children as if it happened five minutes ago and it wasn't that bad for me. The only part that was heart-wrenching was the fact that I cried harder for Edward than of pain. My heart was in more pain than any part of my body and the reality of raising a baby without its father was more excruciating than any amount of pain on this earth.
"Bella, promise you won't leave me?" Alice cried.
"I promise, Ali, I won't leave until Jasper comes," I promised.
"No, I want you to stay with me through this…stay with me until my baby is born," she yelled out, holding on to her stomach. I was confused because she had her husband and if it was me I would have wanted Edward with me.
"Ali, what about Jazz?" I asked slowly.
"He can be there too," she said.
"Alice, there's nothing to fear and nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine," I tried to comfort her.
"Does that mean you'll stay with me?" she asked.
I frowned, feeling completely confused with Alice's attitude right now.
"No, Alice, I'm sorry, but no. This is a moment for you and Jasper only. It is something the two of you need to share, believe me."
"Fuck, you always say the right things," she hissed again.
I stopped in front of the hospital and helped Alice to get out. We went to the entrance where Jasper, Edward, Rosalie and Emmett waited.
I chuckled when I saw Jasper's expression; he was paler than usual and his eyes were filled with worry and fear.
"Alice, are you okay?" he asked as his arms went around her.
"Jazzy, it hurts," she cried.
"You can always go with the epidural, Alice," I suggested.
She shook her head, "No, if you gave birth without an epidural, then so can I," she said while biting down on her bottom lip.
I only smiled because how could I have told her that the fact that my heart was so completely broken at the time was what pulled me through. How could I have told her that the pain from the contractions were soothing and like a remedy to my battered heart.
They took Alice away and we waited patiently for news.
"How are you doing?" Edward asked.
"I'm wondering if I'll be able to go through all of this again?" I said honestly.
He laughed softly and leaned down to kiss my forehead.
"You are the strongest person I know, love, and I believe you'll get through anything," he said.
"This time around my heart isn't broken, Edward, this time I'm happy-"
"And that's why you'll get through it," he whispered huskily, "because this time, I'll be there to hold your hand and to rub your back. This time, I'll be there to tell you how much I love you and how proud I am of you. This time, love, you won't be alone-"
"I wasn't alone the first time-"
"I meant in your heart, spirit and soul, love. We are one and this time we'll be one while you give birth to our beautiful baby," he said.
Tears filled my eyes because even though Rose and Charlie were there, I felt even more alone than I've ever felt in my entire life. They supported me but the one person I wanted and needed wasn't there and that made me lonesome and that much sadder than before.
When Rose and Charlie gave me words of encouragement, I yelled Edward's name because that was the person I needed to hear words of encouragement from. I needed his love, encouragement and guidance.
"I love you, Cullen," I said with a smile and with so much pride.
"I love you my beautiful, beautiful, Bella," he said before he leaned down to claim my lips.
When his lips touched mine feathery, butterflies fluttered inside of me as it always did whenever he kissed or even merely touched me. Hunger and need filled my entire body from the soles of my feet to the tip of my head. The goosebumps that erupted on my skin was evidence of what the love of my life did to me.
His tongue pushed through my lips and slipped into my mouth and I gasped. My tongue longed for his and when I found his a moan trembled past our tongues and escaped through our locked lips. His lips were so soft, almost pillowy, and the way they moved over mine was indescribable. The way his white teeth nipped on my top lip drove me insane.
I snaked my arms around his neck to pull him closer and my fingers immediately searched for the hair at the nape of his neck and when I found it, I curled my fingers around it and tucked and pulled until he growled into my mouth. The motion caused the most sensational vibrations in our mouths and it tingled all the way down to my girly bits. It tingled on the inside and my need and hunger grew more frantic.
"I need you so much right now," he whispered huskily into my mouth.
I chuckled around his lips, "I was thinking the same thing, Cullen," I whispered.
"Why did Alice have to have the baby right now?" he groaned and I burst out laughing.
He looked like a puppy whose food had been taken away from him.
"We'll have to wait till we're at home…" I said.
"Oh, fuck, it's still so long," he moaned.
"I'll make it worth your while, Cullen…" I said seductively, licking my lips in the process.
"Really? Give me some more detail," he smiled that crooked smile I loved so much.
"I'll be so fucking hungry and needy for you that I'll probably rip your clothes off as soon as we open the front door," I said while closing my eyes. Just the thought alone had my insides shiver, not to mention my already tingling center.
"Fuck, Bella, you have no idea what you're doing to me," he groaned while he grabbed his hair between his palms.
I chuckled again.
"Oh, believe me, Cullen, I have a pretty good idea," I said with a wink.
I have no idea how long we waited for Carlisle Junior to make his appearance, but I felt tired and drained. I wondered how Esme was coping with Tristan and Abbey as I asked her to pick them up from school.
I was sipping on some iced tea when Jasper made his appearance with Carlisle Junior cuddled in his arms.
"Jazz, he is absolutely beautiful," I gasped when I looked down on the sleeping baby in his father's arms. I could already tell that he had Alice's pointy nose and high cheeks but he had Jasper's mouth. "How is Alice doing?" I asked.
"She did so great, Bella, I'm so fucking proud of her," he said with pride. "She's exhausted right now and I just came out for a second to show off my son and to tell you Alice is fine," he smiled widely.
"Congrats, bro, he is a vision alright. Dad would have been so happy and blessed about this little guy," Edward whispered softly before he leaned down and kissed Carlisle on his tiny little head.
"Yeah, man, but he's watching us and I'm pretty sure that he is smiling and crying from joy right now," Jasper said with emotion while a single teardrop rolled down his cheek.
I wrapped my arms around my belly as I felt my baby kick and couldn't wait to meet my little person.
"I have to get back to Alice, Bella, would you please call Esme for me?" he asked.
"Sure thing, Jazz, and we'll see Alice in a little while," I said.
Charlie, Esme and my children arrived thirty minutes after Bella called them. Abbey ran to me and the excitement was evident on her face. I crouched down and picked her up, planting a kiss on her head.
"Did you see the baby, daddy?" she asked with sparkling eyes.
"I sure did," I answered crookedly.
"Aaannnddd?" she prompted with a roll of her eyes.
"He's beautiful, Princess, so beautiful," I said with a thick voice as the emotions were going haywire inside of me.
"Aw, daddy, I can't wait to meet him," she squealed.
"Let's go meet him then," I chuckled.
We started walking to Alice's room and I couldn't help watching Esme and Charlie. They were getting extremely close and I wanted to say that it didn't bother me at all, but that would have been a complete and utter lie. It kinda pissed me off and even though Charlie and Esme assured us that they were just friends, I saw how they looked at each other and it wasn't a just friends look.
I couldn't have blamed either of them as they have been spending a lot of time together since our vacation on the island and sure as hell they're feelings for each other would start to develop as more than friends.
I just thought that Esme needed more time after losing Carlisle – the love of her life.
I sighed softly.
Maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I was being a prick and maybe I was a little melodramatic…I had no idea but the whole idea of them being this close pissed me off.
Maybe it was because of my father and the thought of my mother with another man made me livid. I knew Charlie was a good man and that if they fell in love with one another that he would take really good care of my mother but I think she needs more time. I mean, Charlie had years to deal with his wife's death.
I could understand loneliness; if there was someone that understood loneliness it was me. And Charlie's been alone for years…
"Are you okay?" my wife asked me.
I sighed again and closed my eyes for a second.
"Peachy," I growled.
She chuckled and it shocked me. I turned my head to look at her and sure as hell, she had the widest smile on her face and her musical laughter echoed through the halls of the hospital.
"What's so funny?" I asked, feeling a little annoyed.
"You're thinking about Charlie and Esme, aren't you?" she asked.
"Is it wrong to feel pissed?" I asked in a whispering tone so my daughter wouldn't hear me.
Bella giggled with a shake of her head.
"Tell me something," she asked, "would it bother you if it was four years from now?"
My eyes widened and I started thinking. Yes it would bother me.
"You bet your ass it would bother me," I whispered again.
She laughed again and I was starting to get annoyed with her.
"Cullen, I think that it just bugs you that it's not Carlisle," she said. "I just think that you should put yourself in Esme's shoes for a second, and besides, they're just friends," she continued.
"I have put myself in her shoes…I've lived her shoes, Bella, for ten years-"
"And it took you a year to find someone else and ask her to marry you?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow.
"You just had to bring that up," I snorted.
"Just…" – she grabbed her hair and pulled her face – "just get over it. She deserves to be happy and so does my dad. Besides, they're just friends-"
"For how long?" I asked.
"Does it really matter? They're friends and if something more than friendship develops, we WILL support them. Why do everyone else get to be happy except for my dad your mom?" she hissed.
I walked silently next to my wife as we went to Alice's room. I knew she had a point and I knew, of course, that she was right. I just had some issues to deal with before I could really accept it.
Alice was exhausted but still glowed as she lay in the hospital bed holding her baby. It was weird seeing my sister as she changed in a matter of hours. She was a mom now and the love, adoration and happiness made her glow in a way that I wasn't able to describe.
"Auntie Ali, he is beautiful," my daughter exclaimed when she saw Carlisle for the first time. "Can I touch him?"
"Sure, honey, just be careful," Alice agreed with a smile.
Abbey's tiny finger moved slowly towards the baby's face and when she touched him, she gasped.
"He is so soft," she whispered. "Hey there, little baby, we are going to have so much fun together," she whispered.
We chuckled at Abbey's sentence and she quickly told us to be quiet.
"Mommy, I can't wait to be a big sister," she exclaimed happily.
"You don't have to wait long, baby," Bella chuckled.
"How long is it again?" She asked.
"About four months," Bella said.
"It doesn't seem that long," she smiled.
"It's about 120 days-"
"What? No, that's still long, too long," she pouted.
"Not to worry, Abs, you'll have this little guy to keep you busy while you count the days," Jasper chuckled. He picked her up and they giggled and laughed together.
Jasper was really good with children and I knew he was going to be an awesome dad to Carlisle Junior.
"How's work going, dad?" I heard Bella asked Charlie.
"Urm, good, Bella. I have some news actually," he said and seemed a little uneasy. His entire demeanor changed when Bella asked him about work.
"What news?" Bella asked.
"I'm being transferred to Seattle-"
"What?" I exclaimed loudly.
"My family is here and I'm tired of being away from everyone," he answered matter of factly.
"That's great news, dad, we'll love having you around more," Bella said excitedly and gave me a stern look.
"Thanks, Bells," he said.
Esme and Charlie kept looking at each other as if they had something to share. I frowned because I actually knew what was going on. I saw the way they looked at each other and I knew Charlie was in love with my mother.
"What's up?" I looked directly at my mother while I asked this. Rose gave me one look before she took Tristan and Abbey to buy some sandwiches.
Esme wrung her fingers together and seemed nervous all of a sudden.
"Edward, not now," Bella said and pulled my arm.
"No, Bella, Edward is right, something is up," Esme said softly.
Everyone in the room grew quiet. Emmett came to stand next to me and crossed his arms over his chest. I guessed that Emmett also knew about Esme and Charlie.
"We never told anyone about this because it never really mattered," she started saying.
"I had a boyfriend before I married Carlisle," she said with a smile. "Carlisle knew, of course, since it was his best friend," she added.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Emmett asked.
"It was someone all of you knew and we didn't want our children to know about it," she answered.
I was flabbergasted but from the moment 'boyfriend' escaped her lips, I knew who it was and everything fell onto place.
"Charlie," I said softly.
Esme nodded and Charlie moved closer to her.
"What?" Bella asked completely blown away, "Dad, why didn't you tell me?" She asked sadly.
"You were so close with this family, Bells, and besides, it never mattered. She chose Carlisle and I married your mother," he answered.
"Did you love mom?" She asked.
"Dearly," he answered. "When Renee passed away after giving birth to you, I moved to Forks," he said.
"To be closer to Esme," Bella said and Charlie nodded.
"And because Carlisle was my friend," he said. "But our friendship wasn't the same and we grew apart, but my love for Esme only grown. I respected her and her decision and finally let her go," he said sadly. "I never came between her marriage and distant myself from her completely. It was enough for me just to see her and to see her happy."
"Wait, did you even love my father?" I asked my mother.
"More than my life, Edward. Why do you think I chose him and not Charlie?" She said.
"Why didn't you get together after the divorce?" Emmett asked.
"I rejected her," Charlie answered.
"Why?" Alice asked for the first time
"That's simple," he smiled and rubbed his moustache, "Carlisle was still my friend, even though we hardly ever talked, and I knew that our children wouldn't have understood," he said sadly. "Plus, I wanted to get her back for leaving me all those years ago," he chuckled.
Esme took his hand and smiled at him.
"Why now?" I asked sadly.
Esme came towards me and fiddled in her bag. She handed me a letter and when I saw the familiar handwriting of my father, my body started shaking. My fingers trembled when I took the letter from her.
Slowly, I unfolded the paper and gasped at the handwriting. An ache in my chest reminded me of the pain over losing him.
My dearest Esme
From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that I loved you and wanted to spend forever with you.
You were the most beautiful creature I've ever seen and I wanted you. I selfishly wanted you even though you belonged to my best friend.
I never thanked you for choosing me and by that choice making me the happiest man alive.
Darling, I know you loved me with your whole heart hut I also know that a part of that heart still belonged to Charlie no matter how small that part was. I don't blame you and I thank you for your loyalty and faithfulness.
You gave me three children whom I thank God for every day.
Even though we've been through so much, you were the mother of my children and I respected and loved you more with each passing day.
Please, don't go through this life alone. You've been faithful to me in life, I don't need nor do I want you to stay faithful to me in death. I want you to be happy, darling, I want you to be with someone who loves you as much as I love you.
If it's possible and you can make things work with Charlie, then go for it. You made me happy but after I'm gone, you'll need someone to make you happy again.
Don't grieve over my death for too long because I'm watching you, Esme, and I want you to be happy and not sad. I want to see that beautiful smile of yours and hear that melodic laughter. I want to see your eyes light up whenever those lips curl into a smile. So please, please don't grieve for too long.
Charlie is a good man and I regret that our friendship got lost, but I'll never regret stealing you from him because you were mine to steal but now it's time to let go. I'm giving you back to him, darling, because he deserves to be happy, too.
When you are ready, go to him. Find the love you had for him and buried so deep for so long. Find it and live, Esme.
I will always love you and I thank you for loving me!
Be happy, it's all I want for you and Charlie.
"Wow," I said. My cheeks were wet from the tears that streamed down.
I passed the letter so that everyone could read it.
"I'll always love your father, Edward, and I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship," she swallowed, "I just...I just need a friend for now and if Charlie wants to be my friend, I'll take it," she said with eyes swimming in tears
"I'm here for as long as you need me," he said to Esme.
"Mom, if dad gave you his blessing, who are we to judge or take it away from you?" Emmett said after he handed the letter to Alice. "As long as you are happy," he smiled.
"I am, Em, I am" she nodded.
"Dad, I'm shocked about this but I just want you to be happy. You've been alone for thirty years and like Carlisle states in his letter, you deserve to be happy for a change. I won't stand in your way and - not that you need it - I give you my blessing," Bells sobbed softly.
Charlie came to Bells and hugged her tightly.
"Edward?" Esme asked and my chest constricted.
"It breaks my heart that I'll have to see you with another man, mom, but I'll support any decision you make," I said.
"What a day!" Alice giggled.
As we all celebrated the birth of Alice's baby, I felt the presence of my father and it filled the room with so much peace and love that I choked on sobs. Carlisle was a compassionate, understanding and peaceful man and only wanted everyone to love one another and to feel loved.
Sure, he was selfish when he stole Esme from Charlie but he had damn good reason to do so. He fell in love with her and she consumed him in every way possible just like Bella consumed me.
I have no regrets for how my life had turned out. I have a beautiful, pregnant wife whom I love more than my life, I have two beautiful children and a wonderful family. Even though I've been through hell and back to come to where I was today, I would do it all over again.
I've come to the conclusion that my life was a beautiful disaster just like Charlie said about Tristan; he was a beautiful disaster. I never understood why he said it until today. I've gone through one disaster after the next to get to where I was today and if I looked back on all those times, I couldn't help but feel - even though some of it were disasters - that it were all beautiful.
Life is a beautiful disaster!