Synopsis: What if Bella had drowned after jumping off the cliff in New Moon? And what if her ghost came back to haunt Jacob? But what if - WHAT IF - Bella wasn't exactly the person Jacob, Charlie, Edward, and everyone else knew? Centering around the suicide of Bella Swan, secrets are unraveled, limits are tested, and one ghost roams around the place of her death. Will things ever be the same way again? Short story; rated T; angsty, a bit supernatural, and a little mysterious. Jacob/Bella, but told in Jacob's perspective. Edward, Leah, and others also get involved.

Gods and Monsters


There were three things that were positive about Bella Swan. Or how she had been, really.

First, she had loved everything. She had loved the sun, the moon, the stars. She had loved Phoenix, Forks, and La Push. She had loved to cook and to read and to help others. She had loved school and the people in it, too, when she'd attended, as far as I was concerned. She had been a loving person.

Second, she had also loved nothing. Nothing at all. She hadn't loved Edward, or her father, or me. She hadn't loved anybody enough to at least convince anyone that she had been perfectly fine. This was why she was dead, after all. She hadn't loved school enough to stay for more than half the week before spring break. Those were her last days of school. Maybe she had been okay in her own head. Not to anyone else, though. Not even to me, and I had tried my damned hardest to help her. Maybe my hardest wasn't hard enough. How could that even be? She had also been an unloving person, if that was the word. Selfish, too.

And third, I couldn't shake her from my mind. At least, not for a little while. Something made me absolutely positive that I wouldn't forget her, though. Bella's ghost was haunting me—literally—and I couldn't shake that. Ever.

Chapter One

Her story was simple, actually. Simple enough. At least, in the beginning. Then again, no death of a teenager is really that simple. Especially a suicide.

I'd caught the scent of the red-headed leech near the cliffs that day. It was so rainy. Rainier than the average spring here in La Push. I was basically drowning just by standing here. It was raining an ocean. But that wouldn't stop me. I had to get the bloodsucker. I had to.

The vampire jumped into the water, though. What for? I asked myself. As I stood at the top of that cliff—in wolf form—I watched her go. Dammit. If I jumped now I wouldn't be able to catch her. Sam would be pissed but why the fuck should he—

And that was when I caught Bella's scent. Had I been ignoring it? I turned to the direction of the smell and there I saw an item about five feet away from me. There was a jacket. A dark blue, cotton jacket.

I'd seen that jacket on Bella only a hundred times.

In the dead silence—besides the sound of the heavy rain—everything fell into place.

Bella and I were supposed to go cliff-diving tomorrow. I'd told her this yesterday. We were not supposed to go today. Either she hadn't paid attention to what I'd said, or this was for a different reason.

Bella hadn't waited for me.

And she'd jumped off the cliff.

I phased back to my human form as quickly as could and jumped off the cliff without hesitation. Only too late, I sliced into the cold water.

I swam as deep down as I could. Gotta find her, gotta find her, gotta find her.

And, oh, I found her. She was unconscious. She was drowning.

Oh shit, I thought frantically.

With as much of my power, I grabbed Bella and swam her to the shore. I was exhausted once we were there, but I had made it. She hadn't, though.

I put my little knowledge of CPR to the test—the test of her life and mine—and tried to revive Bella. I pushed on her chest, put my breath into her mouth, anything. Just anything to bring her back to consciousness. Nothing was working.

"Come on!" I grunted. "Please, Bella."

I doubted she could hear me, though.

I kept doing the same things over and over. Nothing happened. Bella, pale and cold, just continued to lie on the sand, her eyes closed. She looked like a little porcelain doll, fragile and motionless.

My best friend was dead, and there was no going back.

I didn't break the news to Charlie. I didn't break the news to anybody. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I couldn't think.

I stayed on First Beach for a long time that day. The next morning, too.

Dawn was breaking when Sam found me, sitting on the beach in that exact spot where I'd sat with Bella. She wasn't Bella the friend anymore. She was Bella the corpse. I couldn't even believe it myself.

Sam approached me and at first, I didn't notice him. Then he kicked me in the leg. I didn't even look up at him. Why should I? He wasn't Bella. He wasn't anyone worth looking at face-to-face.

"Hey, get your ass home," he said softly. Well, softly for him, which wasn't exactly soft.

"I'm not going to patrol today," I murmured.

"You don't have to," he replied. "Your dad's worried sick, though. Charlie, too."

"Like Charlie actually gives a shit about me," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You were everything to Bella," Sam assured me.

"Right. And nothing, too."

"If you say so. Get home, though. We need you, Jake."

But I need Bella.

I eventually came home. It was actually sunny today. How ironic was that? Maybe this was all just God kicking me down and spitting on me. I hadn't done anything bad recently. Neither had Bella. And it wasn't her "time to go" or whatever crap people spout out to the friends of dead people. She'd had so much going for her. We'd had so much going for us.

Jeez, it was like I had imprinted on her. And that totally wasn't case. I still had my mind. I was still my own person. Sam was just being an asshole earlier because he'd thought that I hadn't lost much.

Oh, Bella's nothing, he'd probably thought. He was a dick like that. It's not like you IMPRINTED on her. Get over it.

Well, I would not get over it.

I walked home, and I wanted to see Bella's truck there again. I wanted to see her walk out of it, take one look at me, and smile. I wanted to see her smile like nothing had happened. Like her vampire boyfriend hadn't messed her up for months.

And maybe Bella being messed up was what had caused her to fall off the cliff.

Or maybe I hadn't tried that hard… But hadn't I? Hadn't I promised to always be there? Hadn't I told her that I wasn't going to give up on her? Hadn't I assured her that she could count on me? I had promised so much to her. It was like imprinting without the cost of my own free will. It was like marriage without the vows and the rings. Or a kiss.

I should have told her I loved her. That could have made her stay here, with me. If she had killed herself because she felt unimportant, then this was my entire fault. It was.

I entered my house to find my dad, Billy, sitting in the living room in his wheelchair. The television wasn't on. He just stared out the window.

"Come in, son," he called to me.

I walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." My dad looked cold. Pale, too. I must be getting used to that look.

I sighed. "I know."

"Her funeral's being organized right now. We're trying to get it done as soon as possible. Okay?"

I nodded. I felt out of my own skin. I felt like I was cracking. The pressure was too much. It was weighing me down, suffocating me. It was killing me. And I would take this a thousand times—all day, every day—to have Bella back.

"I'm sorry," Billy said again. That was when he pulled me in for a hug.

I hadn't cried this hard since when my mother died, and that had been over five years ago. But I didn't like to think about that.

"I just want Bella back," I whimpered.

"I know, Jake. I know."

I let go of him and sat back. I could see my face in the reflection of the window. I looked weak. No wonder why all the guys in the pack called me a pussy half of the time.

"By the way," Billy said, "you have a visitor. He'll be here in five minutes."

Now, why the fuck would I want a visitor right now?

"Who is it?" I dared to ask.

"Edward Cullen. He wants to talk to you."

A/N: And that has been chapter one. This fanfic kind of means a lot to me. I've never actually written a Jella fanfic longer than one chapter, and Jella is my favorite pairing. I got the idea in the middle of third period today as I read up on haunted places in the world, and I couldn't leave this alone. I love Jella and I love creepiness and I love angst. You feel me?

Review if you'd like.