Co-starring: TRON0602, Incarnate Firefly, Dreaming18, and the almighty alphamon
Author's Note: Introducing the almighty alphamon, author of four fan fiction stories for Power Rangers, Ninjago, and Ben 10. Almighty is also working on a future Lion King fan fiction about a magical cub named Maisha. Almighty didn't introduce himself as a character in this Distractions chapter, but he did join us in writing some segments, and hopefully he'll introduce himself next time, as will Haradion.
I decided not to use different fonts to distinguish each person's writing and instead just listed our names above the segments we each wrote.
"Let me out of this car!" Asante said. "When I get my hands on Timon he will regret what he's done!"
"Sante, calm down." Dreaming said, trying to concentrate on her driving.
"No I will not calm down!" Asante shouted. "Dreaming let me out of this car right now!"
"I said no!" she shot back. "Look we'll go back to my place for a while. It'll be safe from the fans ok." she suggested, turning a corner.
"I agree, besides it'll give you time to calm down." said Incarnate.
"Ok that's sorted then. We're not far from my place anyway." Dreaming sighed, relieved.
"Do you have a laptop?" Asante demanded.
Dreaming blinked in surprise. "Pardon?"
"Do you have a laptop at your house?"
"Uh, yeah. Why?"
"Have to fix my outline." Asante looked over the page again, his face turning red. "A mother #$%ing rocket pack, Timon you son of a bitch!"
"Ok, ok, you can use my laptop once we get to my place. Timon will get what's coming to him after you've fixed up the outline." she said, exasperated.
"Fine." Asante agreed. "But when I do find Timon he'll be sorry."
"I know, you've said that already." Dreaming said, turning into her street. "Look we're at my place now." she pointed out, turning into her drive.
[the almighty alphamon]
The three of them headed downtown and looked at a door with 99 was engraved on it. "Are you sure this is the place?"
"Dreaming, look out!" Incarnate yelled, gesturing to the figure standing in Dreaming's driveway.
"What the-!" Dreaming said, slamming on the brakes for the second time that evening.
"Oh crap." Asante said, recognising the figure. "It's Tron."
"Tron?" Dreaming questioned, looking round at Asante and Incarnate. "Don't tell me he's involved in all this?"
Before either of the other two could respond, Tron thrust out one palm at the car. A blast of air suddenly hit the vehicle, sending it spinning. Dreaming cursed and gripped the steering wheel, trying to maintain control. "What the hell?" The car ground to a halt, barely an inch away from Tron's face.
Asante was the first to recover his composure. "Tron, why did you do that? How did you do that?"
Tron scowled. "That was for leaving me at KFC with Janga, you asshats."
"Watch it, calling people an asshat is my thing," said Asante. "And where is Janga?"
"Oh, she's not here," said Tron. "Didn't you read the ending to Kop-"
"Hey!" yelled Incarnate, frantically motioning at him to be quiet. "Don't spoil it for him!" As he did this, a nearby water pipe suddenly burst out of the ground and sprayed Tron, sending him flying. Incarnate looked down at his hands. "What in the name of…"
TRON pushed himself up and dusted himself off. "Nice waterbending there, Incarnate." TRON raised his left leg and making a sweeping motion sent a powerful gust of wind at Incarnate.
Before Incarnate could try and counter, TRON threw a rock at his wrists making him lose focus as he hissed with pain. "OW! Damn it TRON."
TRON smirked and ran at the group holding a staff in his hand. "For Narnia!"
Asante suddenly yelped in surprise as the pages he was holding burst into flames. Incarnate noticed, looked back at Tron, and said, "I have an idea." He reached over and flicked the car's gas nozzle open, and in one motion, sent gallons of gasoline pouring all over Tron. "Now!"
Asante sprayed a jet of flames at Tron, igniting him in a spectacular blaze.
Asante grinned evilly, playing around with the flames in his palm. "I'm a firebender? Oooh, me likey."
Tron crouched down and break danced creating a powerful gust of wind to divert the flames away from himself. "Not that easy Sante."
He then hopped over to Asante and his group and did another powerful gust kick sending Asante into a pile of mud.
Incarnate leaped out of the car, popping open a fire hydrant as he did so. An immediate spray of water gushed out of the ground, which he directed at Tron to smother him against a brick wall. "A little help, someone? Anyone?" Incarnate requested.
[the almighty alphamon]
Asante stood and laughed. "Ok then. Let me scorch the bastard. I'm in the mood for kentucky fried human." Asante ignited his hand and walked forward.
"Oh shit," Tron said. He placed his hands together and blew a hole through the water stream and launched himself through. After kicking Incarnate in the chest, he immediately darted for Asante.
The ground rumbled as a huge rock sliced through the road, crashing into Tron moments before he collided with Asante.
"Now I'm not the type of girl who enjoys getting angry, then again when someone nearly ruins my car I can gladly make an exception."
"I can't believe you're more worried about your car." Asante said, frowning.
"Hey, I used hard earned money to get that car, just be grateful I saved your ass in the process." she replied, angrily.
Tron stumbled to his feet. "Did anyone get the number of that sidewalk?"
Asante juggled some fire balls. "Okay, Tron, let's get it on!" He threw a fireball.
Tron blinked as a fireball came flying at him. "Oh please," he sighed. He waved a hand and extinguished the fireball. "Now, you guys want to see some real wind?" He turned around, stuck his rear out, and…
"Oh God, no!" Asante, Dreaming, and Incarnate all said at the same time.
Tron grunted and released a foul wind from his rectum. "Now let's see you firebend!"
"WAIT!" Timon yelled as he ran on scene. "Pumbaa!" He jumped on the warthog's back and cocked his tail. "Fire!" Pumbaa released his own wind.
With so much foul air around Tron moved in a circle and made the farts circle the opposing authors.
"You kinda asked for this one," said Asante, grinning. A fireball appeared in his palm.
"Wait, don't-" Incarnate began, but it was too late. Asante launched a fireball at the overbearing clouds of gas, and the air ignited in an instant.
The other authors ducked for cover as fire erupted all around the air. Dreaming's car caught fire, and its engine began to smoke ominously. "Oh, no," said Asante, and he also decided to get out of range.
"That's my car, you asshat!" yelled Dreaming. "Now you really did ruin it-" The rest of her sentence was cut off as the flames found whatever fuel was left in the car's tank and caused the whole vehicle to explode. Everyone went flying.
"We all get element-bending powers, and this is what we do with them," muttered Incarnate, waving the smoke out of his face. "Lighting farts and blowing up expensive cars."
[the almighty alphamon]
Dreaming stood with an angered look, "Do you know how much that cost me?"
"Uh, can I just assume that it was a gift and I can be safe, please?" Tron stared as Dreaming began to build her rage up "It wasn't a gift, was it?"
Incarnate turned. "Asante, you might wanna look away, when a girl gets mad, a girl gets mad." Asante nodded and they turned away. All they could hear were smashing rocks and Tron's screams of pain.
"I'm so going to make you pay for that!" Dreaming screamed, throwing rocks, cement, chunks of asphalt and pieces of metal at Tron, who desperately tried to deflect them.
"In my defence-"
"Shut up!" she screamed again, cutting over Tron, forming a huge boulder and sending it in Tron's direction.
"Asante's the one who set the fart on fire!" Tron insisted.
The huge boulder froze in midair, and Dreaming slowly turned a furious eye away from Tron toward Asante.
Asante blinked. "Uh oh."
Before Dreaming could make a move Tron shot a gust of wind (not from his ass this time, thankfully) sending Dreaming into the wreckage of her car and then punched the air hard enough to send the wreck away.
"That should buy me enough time to do this!" He made a powerful tornado pin Asante on his back and walked over. "Ni Ni Sante." He touched his forehead and his chest and took a deep breath.
"Oh, no you don't," muttered Incarnate. He blasted a huge torrent of water at Tron, engulfing him and sweeping him away from Asante. Then, he clenched one fist.
The wave instantly crystallized and formed into ice. Tron cried out in surprise as he found himself completely pinned by the frozen wave.
"Holy crap, I can do that?" Incarnate said in surprise.
Asante stumbled to his feet hastily. "Yeah, yeah, great job, Queen Elsa. Now let's get going before he decides to kill us again."
Incarnate looked rather indignant. "'Queen Elsa'?"
"Someone still owes me a car!" screeched Dreaming.
"Yeah, let's go," agreed Incarnate nervously.
Timon got back up with Pumbaa. "Mind if we come with you?"
"I'm still going to kill you for messing with my outline," Asante growled.
Incarnate facepalmed. "How did this turn into Dreaming being mad at Tron being mad at us being mad at Asante being mad at Timon?"
Timon glared. "You know this things still got ammo, right Sante?"
"Yeah, well so do I." He bent more fire in his hand. "And we now know that farts are flammable."
"Let's go," interrupted Incarnate before there were any more fire-farts lit. "No one is allowed to be mad at anyone for the remainder of the chapter."
To Be Continued…
The following was written by Incarnate Firefly with the approval of TRON0602, Dreaming18, and the almighty alphamon while they were waiting for me on Google Docs, because I was three hours late. Sorry again, guys, and thanks for having a sense of humor about it.
"This is outrageous," growled Alphamon. "Does Asante think he can stand us up like this and get away with it? Does he think us so below him?"
"Yeah, well, what are you going to do about it?" muttered Incarnate. "We're here, it's been two hours, he ain't here. That's that."
"It's pretty unfair," complained Tron. "We have better things to do than wait on Asante to keep his word when it's convenient to him."
"I'll show him," declared Alphamon. "I think it is time for an early coronation!"
"You mean…" began Dreaming. But she was interrupted by the sound of sudden music. There were heavy drums, and an ominous piano playing. The others looked around.
"Wait a minute," said Tron. "This song sounds familiar…"
Alphamon grinned, and without further pause, broke into song.
Alphamon: I know that your powers of retention are as wet as a warthog's backside…
Incarnate: Excuse me?
Alphamon: But thick as you are, pay attention! My words are a matter of pride! It's clear from your vacant expressions…
Alphamon: The lights are not all on upstairs. But we're talking kings and successions! Even you can't be caught unawares!
Haradion: Ooh, here comes the best part!
Alphamon: So be prepared for the chance of a lifetime! Be prepared for sensational news! A shiny new era is tiptoeing nearer.
Dreaming: And where do we feature?
Alphamon: Just listen to teacher! I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded when at last I am given my dues. And injustice deliciously squared! Be prepar-
Asante: Hi guys.
(The song promptly stops)
Everyone turned to Asante in surprise. "When did you get here?" said Tron in surprise.
"Sorry I'm late," said Asante. "So what are you guys singing about? Can I join in?"
"Actually, we're going to kill you now," said Incarnate.
"Oh," said Asante. He then realized that everyone was holding some kind of blunt object and were advancing on him menacingly. Without further ado, he turned and ran off screaming.
"Get him!" yelled Alphamon.
"In the name of the new king!" cried Haradion.
"That's me, right?" asked Tron. Alphamon rolled his eyes.