"Yes. …Uh-huh. …Well, it's a pretty strange-sounding case but…we'll see what we can do. …And for the last time, I know your Neuralizers are wearing out, but, well, money's tight all over! You can talk to the Ministry of Defense, but you know the fiscal year's ending soon!" The chubby, balding Japanese National Police clerk sighed. "Look, my supervisor's out for the night, and I'm heading out soon myself. Like I've been saying, we'll see what we can do. Goodnight."
He hung up the phone and stared out the window at his reflection over the darkened city. "I…just lied to the Earth Immigration Enforcement Authority. How did we get ourselves into this?" he said.
"I do get somewhat tired of having to remind people of this over and over again," the white, catlike creature answered. "But we didn't force your people into this position. Just as we have given young women throughout your planet the opportunity to make their dreams come true, in exchange for a price, your country and many others agreed to receive unlimited supplies of our dark matter in exchange for allowing us to conduct our business unhindered." It fixed its blank, red eyes into the man's filling his vision despite their small size. "And if we cut off our energy supplies to you, we estimate that your planet's electrical supply would be cut by…at least 90 percent. Are you sure you would like to see your society thrust backward some 200 years? Even a temporary power failure can trigger a downturn in world stock markets; what would you do if full electrical capacity could never be restored? And that's not even bringing up the consequences of universal entropy again."
The clerk squinted. "It's…immoral. A freaking human rights violation. I know you space rats are trying to save the universe, but there has to be some better way to do it."
"Perhaps, but to the best of our knowledge, the emotional force of adolescent girls is still the strongest known energy source in the universe. And not every single young lady on this planet or others has signed a contract with us. It is quite a dear price to pay, but as you have been reminded by us and your own superiors, without our influence, you might still be naught but chimpanzees, or not even existent. And without our extra benefit to your species, we would be having this conversation by candlelight now." The creature glanced slightly above the man's head. "Again, I have trouble understanding why so many of you can't see these matters from a big-picture point of view. Surely some Puellae-and Witches-must realize somewhere deep down that they are contributing to the ultimate rescue mission, so to speak. And one day—not for about a millennium now but still one day—a certain American lad who was cryogenically frozen by some relatives of ours will come to realize his grand purpose. And even on a less grand scale, we of course know about all the 'benefits' that governments throughout the world receive from such poorly regarded organizations as Italy's Mafia, China's tongs…and your Yakuza. From what we have observed of your species, it seems that much less of your business would be done without deals such as these." The creature started making its way toward the clerk's office door. "Speaking of which, do you have a collection bin I could use? Another copy of my body was rendered useless tonight, so I had to dispose of it.
The clerk slumped onto his desk. "Second door on the left."
The Incubator turned back toward the clerk. "I would thank you, but perhaps you should be thanking me, especially for ultimately enabling your recent level-up on Warcraft when you should've been working on the missing persons report for that poor Miki girl. In any case, good evening."
About a minute later the clerk heard the solid clunk of a ball of dark matter falling into the collection unit. It sounded like the stone of his heart falling into the hollow space inside him.
What, doesn't anyone still think scatological jokes are funny?
I was thinking of putting this in the regular Madoka section since the MIB's are barely mentioned, but it is still a sequel.
Also, Agent Nine wasn't in collusion with the Incubators in the first story (just Kyubey's enabler). I intended "Contracts and Visas" to be a demonstration of Hanlon's Razor ("Never attribute to malice that which can be easily attributed to stupidity") and our tendency to disbelieve the alarmists until it's too late.
I guess I also labeled this as "comedy" for the satirical element. Call it dark comical matter.