Here is something a little different from usual. I wrote it as Carrie/Brody but if I could, I would add Jessica too. This is an idea from castlefringereader, who wanted me to write from Jessica's point of view. I found the idea quite interesting, although I'm not sure how well I got into her head. As the audience, we don't really go into her mind in the show so tell me what you think!

Two quick A/N: I have to point out I don't have any knowledge of the CIA so just go with it. :)

Secondly, I wrote this in class. Might not be the greatest place but I was bored. Be kind!


Reality

Jessica was tired of being in the dark, it was time she knew what Brody was up to... She had no idea that she'd find for the first time his heart, bare and exposed.


She was home alone, doing the dishes. She was supposed to spend the day with Brody, finally. Since he was a congressman, his busy schedule prevented them from spending time together. He had today off and they were supposed to enjoy it.

Until his phone rang.

And he was out again. Off to some CIA mission.

She believed him – of course she did. Who'd say they worked for the CIA if they weren't?

But... all the mysteries. All the accusations.

She thought back to Mike.

She hadn't seen him since he went to her, told her to be careful.

She couldn't keep his voice out of her head. What if he was right? There was just too much secrecy. Something wasn't right. Of course it was the CIA, of course he had to keep it quiet but there was something more. He was playing with it. She could see it in his eyes. Brody was keeping something from her.

Did she want to know what?

She wasn't sure.

She had other things to think about now, new responsabilities. Finally, she had something for her, something close to her. She should let it go and focus on what was important to her.

It was just... it was bugging her.

Dana also acting weird. Like everyone was hiding something from her.

She let the ustensils fall loudly in the sink.

Damn.

When did she start to be out of the loop?

She couldn't even focus on her task at hand. She wanted to know. She didn't have to act on it. She just wanted to know.

Follow Brody one day, see what she could get.

Their marriage was over anyway. She couldn't find the love anymore. No – that wasn't right. Love was still here. In him probably and in her too. But he was different and even though he was trying, he was keeping her at arm's lenght. Nothing close to the passion they had felt all those years ago.

She ran a hand through her hair.

It wasn't like she needed to show courtesy of his privacy anymore.

Despite the love, the kindness, she wasn't sure there was respect left in them.

Not when they both had feelings for someone else.

She knew he wasn't seeing her anymore. But he had been. And he had been happy. He hadn't smiled like that since he came back. He probably wasn't even aware of it. And his eyes had been shining with such attraction every time he'd seen her... It was so strong. Not only full of desire, of sex. No. He felt something for her.

And she couldn't understand why.

She had to stop brewding over it. It was eating her.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, she'd follow him. She'd see.

It would be okay.


As expected, on the next day he had to go work with the CIA.

He still told her every time, insisting, like he was afraid she'd stop believing.

When he was ready to go, she wavered.

Maybe the general paranoia got to her head. She shouldn't...

She peered through the window as he got into his car.

She'd never stop thinking about it, she'd never stop doubting.

She deserved to know. It wouldn't harm anyone.

She hurried outside as soon as it was safe and managed to tail him.


She watched him from the window.

He really was going to a CIA facility.

Wow. Okay. Brody was working with the CIA. What exactly was he doing there? Would it be good for him to work on a case so soon after..?

Stop. She had one answer. She couldn't keep tormenting herself, the questions could be endless.

Although she couldn't stop herself from caring about him, she knew he didn't. He would brush it off, tell her not to worry. It wouldn't do her any good.


She was about to start the car when she noticed Brody didn't get inside. He was waiting for someone.

It didn't matter, she should go... -

Then she saw her.

He was waiting for her?

Well, maybe he stumbled upon her and...

No. He was waiting for her. And he was happy to see her.

From what she could see, she had work clothes, a badge too.

So... Brody lied to her. They were working together.

Maybe he didn't want to hurt her? Make her worry like she was doing right now over nothing?

No.

Fuck. He was still her husband. He was the father of their child, for god's sake! He had to tell her the truth and stop lying right to her face!

She was hurting herself. She knew it but she could't stop observing them. For once, they were caught, they were seen, and they were not the ones who fooled the rest of the world.

She would have thought they would simply welcome each other and go inside. But they stayed a few seconds in silence, none of them moving and apparently speaking.

Jessica was somehow fascinated, intrigued.

What were they doing?

Staring in each other's eyes. Although she couldn't see them, there was no doubt that there were sparks in their eyes.

And then...

He took her hand.

Almost as if they were shaking hand.

But in fact secretly holding hands.

It was discreet. Hidden from most of the world around them but not her.

It said it all.

The way his fingers were carressing her skin. The shy but pleased smile on her face.

The delight of this gesture, comfortable and loving.

They laced their fingers, squeezed each other's hand.

And as quickly as they did it, separated and headed towards the building.

Nothing was said.

But for Jessica, it meant enough. For them, it probably meant everything.

She didn't think... didn't think it meant so much for him.

She didn't remember him being so... tender?

He was pragmatic, he talked. He showed his love with words. And here... it was just obvious. On his face, his smile, his gestures... Everything.

The realization came upon her. He was in love with her.

She couldn't breathe.

She wasn't mad. No – she understood better. But why? How?

She watched them walking away. All too close. No one caring.

She wondered if they were even aware of it.

She wondered if they were together, having sex, again. They looked so innocent, carefree and public. Like two people in love who hadn't a clue. Who tried to avoid it.

She felt bad for spying on them. Watching their emotions when they might be ignorant themselves.

He was her husband but his heart was somewhere else. And it intrigued her. Because she thought he left it there. That he had lost it.

Apparently he didn't.

She felt a twinge of jealousy. Why didn't it come back to her?

But who was she? She was in love with someone else too. She had to understand.

Especially since Brody wouldn't leave her for Carrie.

She was... crazy. He was damaged.

They were broken.

She felt their sorrows. Their love was doomed.

Like she and Mike somehow.

And just like that, she absurdly felt closer to Brody.


Thoughts?

Might do another chapter if someone's interested.