"Ooh Hello, sexy!" Miranda kind of growled, in an extremely unladylike manner. Her attempted flirt seemed unsuccessful.
"Um… Hi, Mandy!" Jamie smiled awkwardly. Stevie could not contain her laughter.
Miranda was speechless, so Stevie stepped in. "Actually, it's Miranda, not Mandy…" There was a silence, until Jamie began the conversation again. "Oh, I am really sorry. I hope I didn't offend you?"
"No, no, NO of course not, I mean, Miranda is my name, Miranda is me, but you know, Mandy is quite a cool name too, so no offence taken!" Miranda said, obviously from the top of her head. "So, mum, why did you bring Jamie here?" Miranda asked, passing the conversation over to Penny.
"Well. As you are single, Miranda-" Penny began.
"Hang on- Miranda's single?" Jamie asked, interested.
Sighing, Penny replied, "Oh Extremely single, she is looking for a partner."
"Um, actually, I am enjoying my life as a single woman." Miranda spoke in a rather posh voice.
Stevie interrupted. "You are so not. You spend your weekends playing with your fruit bowl buddies!" She snorted.
"Hey, I do not!" Miranda protested.
"You SO do. I saw you acting out last weeks' episode of Corrie with the apple! Well, if you want advice, I think that you should use the Kiwi week. No, I'm serious; I reckon it's got lots more soul than an apple…" Stevie suggested.
"Oh, shut up." Miranda sighed.
"I will not." Stevie continued.
Miranda stood right by her and held up her hand flat at Stevie's head, so it was clear who's boss. Stevie took mock offence.
"Anyway, Penny, how did you meet Jamie?" Stevie asked Miranda's mum, to change the subject.
"Well, it's a funny story, that is. I was going on what I call a swim –" Penny began, before Miranda interrupted.
"Actually, I think you'll find it's what I call a swim too?" She stepped in. After totally ignoring her daughter, Penny continued.
"Anyway, I was going on what I call a swim and young Jamie here was…around the pool. OK, let's just say that I thought I was capable of diving of the high board…" Penny slowed down her speech.
"Oh mum, you didn't!" Miranda asked. The look on Penny's face told her the answer.
"Fine, so I might have belly flopped into the water, and I had to be rescued by Jamie." Penny told Miranda and Stevie, who were nearly in tears of laughter.
"Oh right then… which board?" Miranda asked her mum, getting excited.
"10m…" Penny replied.
Miranda jumped up and down and whined like a toddler. "Aww, you beat my record! At the last belly flop I only went up to 5m!"
Stevie was a little confused. "Hang on, are you saying that you see who can do the biggest belly flop?"
Both Miranda and Penny were getting uncomfortable, so Penny said, "Anyway. Like I said, Jamie rescued me. He's a lifeguard, you know!"
Miranda and Stevie were literally drooling right before Jamie, and then, Miranda strolled up to him and said, "Do you mind if I…" And she touched his muscles. Miranda silently screamed in excitement at Stevie, before jumping backwards. "Oh, sorry, I hope you don't mind? I don't know what came over me…"
"Sorry Miranda, but I need to go round to the corner shop to buy some M&M's." Stevie told Miranda, heading towards the shop door. Jamie started browsing the shop.
"M&M'S? You don't need them, I have 10 BAGS in my bedroom!" Miranda cried.
Making up a quick excuse, Stevie replied, "Oh, but they're all rubbish peanut ones. I hate peanut M&M's, they're gross, aren't they Jamie?"
Looking over his shoulder, he answered, "Actually, they aren't too bad…" A little creeped out, he turned round.
"Well,I HATE HATE HATE peanut M&M's! Goodbye, Miranda!" Stevie said. Miranda mouthed at her, "Damn it, you can't leave me with HER!"
"Yes, I should leave as well. Jamie will stay with you. Have fun running your joke shop!" Penny blurted out quickly.
"No, mum, I'm not ready…And by the way, it's joke SLASH gift!" Miranda replied.
"Such fun." Penny said.
"Not in the mood." Miranda told her.
"Such fun!" Miranda sighed.