Title: Voices of Eternity
Summary: AU. Loki questions his loyalty when he finds out that he's living one terrible lie. It makes sense that he doesn't fit in anywhere and he's confused that even Thor lied to him about his heritage. With Laufey waging war, it's only a matter of time before he uses Loki against them. Loki is just confused which side to take. No Slash!
Warnings: Violence, Trauma, Angst, Torture, Attempted Suicide, Psychological Trauma, Political War, Slight AU, Politics, PossibleSexual content, JotunLoki, InnocentLoki, WiseThor. Angst.
A Rewrite. Possibly better than the first.
Chapter 1 – The Ice child
There were possibilities that never go the way we wanted to. One change went a long way depending on the decision. Odin had his decision made that allowed possibility for change that led to more secrets within the family. Acceptance with full arms was the welcome Loki had received, and Thor kept his end of the bargain. He let this event pass and at tried to make it bearable for all of them.
"He's not blue."
"I believe Loki had done that himself," Odin said. "But I placed glamour on him just in case. That is why he looks like an Aesir."
"But he is Jotun!" Thor whined.
"He will be family." Frigga stated.
"I figured we could unite our kingdoms someday." Odin sighed. "Perhaps through the two of you, who knows? He is the son of Laufey, abandoned sure, but he is still very well capable of claiming the throne once he grows up."
"I don't get it."
"You will once you grow up, boy."
"Frost Giants are monsters."
"Don't call him that, Thor." Frigga scolded. "You don't even know him that well yet. And as for you, Odin, he's just a child and you're already planning his future for him."
"I do not think I am." He answered.
"But you are."
"He might be our victory to everlasting peace with Jotunheim. Perhaps once he claims the throne as king, so will Thor."
"They're just boys."
"But he is so tiny to be a king." Thor answered and eyed Loki. "How is he even a Jotun if he is that tiny?"
"He is a runt," Odin said. "A special one at that."
Frigga rolled her eyes and cradled Loki.
"Yes, boy." Odin nodded. "At least try to understand his situation. He was abandoned and left to die in the cold with no parents to support him. Jotun he may be, but he is young and cannot survive on his own. They had left him there to die because he was a runt. Wouldn't you want someone to take you if you were left alone in the cold?"
"I suppose?" Thor blinked. "But he's a Frost giant."
"Are you scared of him?" Frigga asked.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm not scared, Mother. He's tiny!"
"Thor, there are some things you must start to learn." Odin patted his head. "Like politics and ruling if you want to take my crown someday."
"You'll eventually give it to me anyway." He huffed.
"Stubborn child," His father laughed. "Would you at least try to accept Loki as your brother?"
"I don't know." Thor pouted. "Didn't you say Frost Giants are mean?"
"And they eat children?"
"Those are stories, Thor." Frigga giggled as she cradled Loki. "Do you think he can eat you?"
"Maybe if he grows old he might."
"Nonsense, child," She smiled. "At least try to understand."
"Well…" Thor stared.
Loki moved a little from the blanket wrapped around him. Thor stared at Loki's tiny body and pale white skin. Loki had beautiful green eyes that groggily eyed him with a twinkle. Loki's mouth curved into a smile that made Thor step closer and reach out a finger to poke Loki's hand. Loki grasped it tightly, making Thor cringe a little, but when Loki held that soft grip and stared at him with alluring eyes, Thor felt something.
He eyed Loki again and smiled at the tiny Jotun.
"I always wanted a little brother."
Eventually, Thor's heart had warmed to Loki.
The first time he picked his brother up despite him being a little cold was something Thor couldn't forget. Loki smiled at him, and it made Thor's world spin on its axis. Thor's heart swelled with joy when Loki chose him over his parents. Of course, Frigga held a special place in Loki's heart, but one thing Thor knew for sure was that Loki favored him the most. Even though Loki was only a few months old, Thor felt it.
Like the time Thor and Frigga taught Loki how to walk.
"Loki, come over here." Thor smiled.
Loki blinked, tilting his head and giggled playfully, bouncing up and down his Mother's lap and started to chew his own hand. Frigga pried his hand away as Loki giggled again and squealed.
"What is he doing, Mother?"
"I don't think he understands you yet." She smiled. "Try again. He's a smart boy."
"Loki, come over here." Thor said. "Please?"
"Uwah!" Loki stared and reached out to Thor. "Rwor!"
"He said my name!"
"Indeed he did, child."
"What does he want now, Mother?"
"I think he wants you to help him." Frigga pulled Loki to try and stand. "Come over here, Thor. Hold your brother and help me teach him how to walk."
"But I thought you've been doing that with Father."
"We need to keep trying."
"Why?" Thor chuckled. "Isn't that Father's job?"
"I think your Father is frightened by the fact that Loki pulled his beard too hard and nearly took it all off." Frigga laughed and Thor followed after. "But your Father is busy at the moment, so won't you try, dear?"
A light was brought out from their relationship as brothers and this made Thor protective as they grew up. They played in the dirt, read stories and just basically grew up together. Thor knew complications were bound to happen, he just didn't expect it to be sooner.
"What did you call him?" Thor shouted, shielding Loki behind him. "Say it again!"
"N—nothing, Prince Thor."
"He called me an Ergi," Loki whispered. "Then he said I'm Argr."
"What?" Thor glared.
"That's not true!" The other boy shouted. "He played tricks on us!"
"I even got hurt!"
"No you didn't!" Loki shouted back. "It was just a game!"
"Leave," Thor ordered. "Now!"
The children they were playing with had run off, completely afraid of the young Prince's wrath. Thor turned to Loki, who stood there feeling ashamed and sad. Thor patted his little brother on the head and asked him what he had done to make them say that.
"I was using magic?" Loki innocently said.
"Remember, Mother is teaching me while Father teaches you other things."
"They said it was for girls."
"It is." Thor said until he realized his mistake. "Not that I'm… saying you are a girl."
"Maybe a little flat chested girl—?"
"Thor!" Loki whined.
"I jest." He patted his head. "Do not listen to them."
"I merely played a small trick on them." Loki pouted. "Nothing more"
"Well, they deserve it." Thor smiled and pointed. "Let's go play over there."
"Can you show me what trick you did?"
"Y-you want to know?"
"Why not?" Thor smiled. "If they were so angry, I want to know! So we can do that to them again if they try to hurt you, or if they do something bad again."
"Okay!" Loki perked up. "I just did an illusion that Mother taught me."
Loki tried to show Thor a scary looking image of a little girl, presumably Sif with messed up hair and an angry face. It made Thor laugh, but the illusion quickly flickered and disappeared. Loki looked at Thor with a questionable look of approval. It was as if Loki was desperate to get the attention.
"I haven't perfected it yet."
"It's funny!" Thor grinned. "Just do not let Sif see you do that."
"I wish I could try that."
"D-do you want me to teach you?"
"I don't think I want to." Thor laughed. "Hey! We can do that trick with the other kids!"
Thor realized that Loki was often sickly thanks to the heat of their realm. They would have to make sure that Loki stayed indoors whenever it was hot, and they made the excuse that Loki's body was quite sensitive to the heat. At that age, Loki stopped questioning it and merely accepted the fact that his body refused hot temperature. One thing Thor knew was that Loki was comfortable in the cold.
He was even proud of it.
"Loki!" Thor called. "Mother said to put your fur coat on."
"I do not want to." Loki said.
"Loki," Thor scolded.
"We're going for a long walk in the kingdom. It's freezing cold!"
"You're cold, brother." Loki frowned. "I'm not even slightly shivering."
"Just put it on." Thor insisted. "People will start asking."
"That—that you're—?" Thor thought on it more. "Just put it on before people start questioning why you're not wearing warm clothes. It's near our winter festivals, we need to stay warm."
"Perhaps I'm tougher than you." Loki smirked. "Asgard needs to see that."
"Keep telling yourself that, brother.
"Won't you leave me alone?"
"Why?" Loki whined. "I'm not even cold."
"But you'll put them on later? Won't you, brother? Do it for me, please?"
Years later, Loki had secluded himself in the library more often and met with his skills in magic and had gradually improved since Frigga taught him the basics. Loki knew a lot of things that none of the Aesir did, and Thor found it fascinating. Loki was very cunning and intelligent and could weasel his way out of trouble.
However, that didn't include getting scolded by their parents.
That was a given.
With great observation, Thor had seen glimpses of Loki's suffering at the hands of the other Aesir's and sought for a way to end them. However, nothing went according to plan, especially when Thor became greater friends with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three.
That was the time Loki became distant.
And ever so watchful.
Thor hadn't acted upon it, at least, not yet.
Years passed by and even though Thor and Loki were as close as brother's should be. They were farther apart than they realized. More than they imagined. Thor hid his parent's secret. Loki hid his thoughts about it. Odin and Frigga hid his heritage. They were all hiding and lying from each other, even if it was indirectly happening beyond their control.
But the question still remains.
Who made the biggest lie?
Thor had gradually kept track of Loki's activities from the shadows.
He had become so accustomed to looking after Loki every step of the way in fear they might be found out for the lie they kept, that Thor became paranoid and protective over his little brother. He had become more so when he found out that Loki sought out affection from anyone who could give it to him openly.
One time he heard from the corner the sounds of struggle. Fvhal was his name and Thor wanted to punch him. To do something terrible to his little brother, but it was Loki's decision, was it not? Or was his little brother coerced into the activity itself? Thor had stupidly told himself… "This was Loki's choice." And he thought that perhaps, Loki would learn the hard way and stop those dalliances at once.
So Thor left.
And he may have lived to regret it. What Thor hadn't known, was that Loki did not want it. It wasn't Loki's choice. He had not known what happened after, but Thor could only guess how much Loki allowed Fvhal to do to him. They were already old enough to know what was right and what was wrong, despite the both of them still being young. But what bothered Thor the most was what happened weeks after what he had seen.
Loki had not left his room.
He feared that he would be captured again, and Loki did not want that.
So he stayed hidden.
Fvhal also avoided going near him.
That afternoon, Thor felt depression come from Loki when he had surprisingly joined through dinner. Frigga was suspicious, especially when Loki's eyes reflected exhaustion and hurt. It was obvious that even the All-Father found it disturbing.
However, no one asked.
And that perhaps, broke Loki even further.
It was neglect.
Days after that silent dinner, they had to coax Loki out of his room again to socialize, but it only put a dent in their relationship even more. So Thor did what he thought would be right, he came right at Loki's door and pounded as loud as he could. The tone of his voice, angry and anxious as his knocks got louder.
"Loki, may we talk?"
"Leave me be," Loki muttered on the other side. "I'm fine."
"I highly doubt that, brother."
"What do you want?" The door swung open, Loki's face by the door. "I'm busy. Go away."
"Not until I know you are well."
"What happened to your shoulder?" Thor pointed.
Loki hadn't realized that his tunic had slipped a little off his shoulder, exposing a bright bluish purple bruise. Loki immediately covered it up with one hand while the other pushed intently towards the door.
In Loki's panic he tried to close the door to his room, but Thor pushed forward and Loki stumbled backwards. Thor grabbed Loki's arms and pulled him forward, that Loki lost his footing. Thor pushed the tunic down Loki's shoulder to show the bites and bruises that Loki embarrassingly tried to hide.
"I-it's nothing!" Loki said defensively.
"What is this?" Thor asked. "Is this why you never came out of your room?"
"I was practicing."
Thor did not believe him.
Thor already knew that was a lie.
"You were never in the training grounds." Thor glared. "What happened to you?"
"It's nothing, I'm fine."
"It's not nothing, brother. Is someone hurting you? Threatening you?"
"It's nothing, Thor!" Loki pushed away from Thor's grip and lifted back the tunic to hide the bruises. "I'm fine. It's just an…was an activity that got me injured. Nothing more. It's nothing. I am completely fine."
"Loki, you know you can tell me anything."
That was their problem.
No matter how much Thor coaxed Loki into telling him his secrets, Loki kept them in fear that Thor would tell his friends of it. They each had something to hide from the other, but Thor always managed to expose some of Loki's secrets, if not all the ones that Loki was most vulnerable in. Loki had done his fair share of exposing Thor's, but that never took great effort. Thor had already been open, and that was one of Loki's grave mistake to believe in. Thor was open, yet when a greater truth is forced back his throat, Thor would keep it to his death.
"I know." Loki lied.
"Why have you not come out of your room?"
"I'm just tired."
"That's not an excuse."
"I rather like spending time in solitude."
Thor left it at that.
Days later, Thor had found out that Fvhal was no more than a cheat and a liar, and he was gladly sent to prison through an act of defiance. Perhaps he was the one who had hurt Loki, someone Loki had feared, Thor would not know exactly. Perhaps Loki defended himself. Perhaps Fvhal threatened Loki that Loki did not say anything.
Thor really would not know.
In the years that passed, he knew that Loki was still waiting for someone to fill his life and treat him as something more than just paperweight. Loki wanted affection, be it from anyone for that matter. Thor was too busy to notice him, his mother was too busy with Odin and Odin was too busy with Asgard. He wanted someone to notice him for whom he was and appreciate what he could do.
The magic he was so blessed with and yes, it did come close to that.
It was an Elf from Alfheim.
Aesar Frivaldor, a Lord from a neighboring city.
He was handsome, pale, had beautiful purple eyes and white blonde hair that dragged a little down his shoulder. He was regal, taller than Loki and graceful, yet a warrior in every sense, including his body.
He became Loki's friend.
A close friend.
Loki had visited Alfheim for a diplomatic event and ended up meeting Aesar at one of the court hearings. Thor was not happy that he was uninvited, but it was mostly because Odin had prevented him from doing so. Thor had a history with pissing off royals and Lords. Something that Loki was gifted with the opposite.
"Father, you cannot let Loki go there." Thor insisted. "What if he—if the secret is found—?"
"Shush boy." Odin scowled. "None of that."
"Your brother is fine."
"What if he gets into trouble?"
"Your brother is smart enough to get out of it."
In the palace court room, Loki was quiet, ever so shy and fearful. Aesar, the neighboring Lord was polite when he came up to Loki to talk to him about the certain dilemma Alfheim was facing. The court hearing ended and a feast happened afterwards. Loki was near the pillar, watching a bunch of maidens get taken to the dance floor to be swept away on their feet through the wonderful jolly music. Loki seemed to envy them a little. He could not help but do so. Not once had anyone truly shown Loki any kindness or acceptance. They had all shied away from him, mocked him and ridiculed him, something that made Loki fearful of anyone ever trying something against him.
"Quite a boring feast, I take it?"
Loki turned. "Lord Aesar."
"I apologize for intruding."
"N-not at all." Loki mumbled. "I was merely watching."
"Do you enjoy watching?"
"Do you wish to go to the balcony instead of watching?" Aesar smiled. "Mayhaps I can give you an entertaining conversation that would liven up your evening."
Loki merely nodded.
They went to the balcony and it had been a strained talk, but eventually it got better. Loki found himself becoming more comfortable in all his years visiting Alfheim ever since he was much younger.
"I am glad you still speak with me."
"What do you mean, my Lord?" Loki asked. "Do the others not speak with you?"
"They do, however it is a strained conversation." Aesar sighed. "They would spin lies, and try to get on my good side lest they think I might smite them, which in truth is quite horrid if I was asked. Tis not my nature to do such cruelty."
"Well, I think it is not you who stole those trade goods."
"Y-yes." Loki flushed red. "I believe it to be Lord Hegrin of the Nals."
"Ah, he does have a reputation."
"He does." Loki nodded.
"The stars are beautiful are they not?" Aesar said. "Much as your emerald eyes, they burn with this certain energy and fire." Aesar looked at Loki who had a strange expression on his face. "Apologies, I did not mean to be rude."
Loki looked away.
He was used to being ridiculed.
Aesar said as his purple eyes twinkled. "You should think more confidently of yourself, Prince Loki. You have potential in you, something that you might not see yet. And you have a handsome face, something I do not understand why the Aesir do not cherish. Black hair is quite fetching." He had teased again, but Loki did not find anything good in those words. It only hurt all the more.
There was a strain of silence between them, until Loki broke it.
"Y-you said something about the stars?"
Aesar merely smiled at him. Then, he continued to speak about the stars as if Loki was no more than an equal to him. And Loki found it exhilarating that he had someone to talk to, finally! Loki stayed in Alfheim for weeks. He had been through the court hearings on and off for weeks, and during those times, Freyr had asked Loki to gather as much information as he could on Aesar. Loki did as told, but found himself falling for the elf. It turned out that Aesar had been innocent, and the trade goods were found off another Lord's household.
And Loki was relieved.
However, knew problems rose through Alfheim's security that Loki had been told to stay longer.
No sooner did Aesar started to befriend him.
It went off a rough and awkward start, but slowly, Loki grew accustomed to it and found himself warmed by the friendship Aesar gave him. It was a slow and steady friendship. The more Loki got to know Aesar, the more happier he felt. Aesar was a little older than Thor and was quite mature for his age, and it made Loki giddy. Especially the knowledge he knew, the jokes they shared and compliments he was blessed with for his magic. It was soothing for a change.
If Loki hadn't believed he was Aesir, he would have thought himself perfect for Alfheim.
"I need to go back soon." Loki mumbled.
He smiled. "This is not goodbye, friend."
They shared a long goodbye that ended with Loki still feeling filled with happiness when he left. When Loki came back to Asgard, no one else knew what had happened. Heimdall knew what Loki was doing, but never questioned it. It was not his business who Loki made friends with. For all he knew, Aesar was a sweet person. Still, Loki felt sad that no one would ever understand him. He was so alone, so secluded and not even Thor would ever know.
Loki could never do anything right, only what was expected of him, in which was downright failure.
And Loki hated it.
At one point he wanted to die, but at least he found someone. He found someone to care for even if their friendship was in secret. He could not say anything to anyone in fear that their certain friendship would be despised and threatened. He didn't want to lose that one friend he had.
Loki just had to make due.
"How was your trip?" Thor asked.
"It was fine." Loki said.
"Are you sure you do not want to tell me anything else?"
"I think I would bore you with politics."
"I don't think you would."
"It was a diplomatic event, something you should have gone through." Loki said. "Not I. I had to stay there for nearly three months with all the diplomatic treaties Father wanted me to fix."
"I never thought that was a problem for you." Thor scoffed. "But I missed you."
Thor was never open about his feelings, so this shocked Loki.
"I-I missed you too."
"So, you did not get bored, did you?"
"You love Alfheim."
"Did anything exciting happen, Loki?"
I made a friend.
Loki wanted to say, but he went with. "A lot of interesting things happened, Brother."
Loki revisited Alfheim, and continued his on-going friendship with Aesar, took it steps further and opened himself completely to Aesar. They had been together for nearly a year and a half through Loki's constant visits. Loki shared with him secrets and his mischief and magic.
Loki had to admit...
It was fun.
"I wish people knew you." Loki mumbled.
"What?' Aesar mumbled.
They sat on the edge of the hill, they had ridden a horse to get to the cliff to watch the beautiful view of Alfheim. Their friendship was weird though. One would think they were lovers, others might even think they were brothers, but they both did not care. They were friends, enjoying a moment together.
"Loki," Aesar said. "There are still strained relations with the Elf and Aesir."
"I know that." Loki pouted. "Shame though."
"Young and a Prince as you are, it is dangerous to expose such a close friendship, with an Elf at that."
"You think they will harm you for being an Elf? Elf you may be, but you are no commoner. Besides, you're perfect to brag about. You have everything. You're a Lord. You're smart, regal, kind and caring. I do not think I could find any other as you are. it's just a mere friendship."
Aesar laughed. "But I am older than you."
"Makes you all the more stranger."
"Does your brother know about our strange little friendship?"
"I do not think he does."
"I see." Aesar sighed and looked at the palace. "You need to stop thinking, Loki. You need to relax more and stop being worried."
"I am relaxed." Loki challenged. "Sitting on a cliff is relaxing."
"And if I pushed you?"
"You wouldn't dare!"
"I would not."
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
"Tell me you do not find this exciting?"
"Exaggerated is what I call it." Loki said as Aesar laughed, and Loki laughed with him.
It had been a few months on end that Loki was able to return to Alfheim. He had been so busy preparing for the throne that he had missed days with Aesar. He had managed to keep their friendship hidden from his family, except for Lord Freyr and his sister Freya. Those two knew what he was up to, and they were also like family to Loki. They took care of him and saw to his safety.
So all was well…
Until news of Aesar went to Loki's ears.
Loki had excitedly came back to visit Aesar but found out from some of Aesar's close friends that he was gone. Loki did not believe them until he came to speak with Lord Freyr. He told Loki the story, but Loki was too shocked to believe him.
"There was a feud between the Lords in that particular city." Freyr said. "Aesar did his best to negotiate, and we tried to calm them all down. However it got out of hand and a brawl started that ended up with the fire— he tried to save as much in the fire as he could but a building collapsed and…"
"Nonono!" Loki shook his head.
"Tell me it's not true." Loki begged and his voice cracked.
"I'm sorry, Loki."
"It's not true." He cried. The tears escaped his eyes as he sobbed. "It's not true. It cannot be true. Not him, anyone else but him. It cannot be true."
His one and only friend...
"I'm so sorry." Freyr embraced him. "Lord Aesar left a few belongings to you."
"Don't say that. He's not dead."
"He's n-not d-dead." He sobbed. "He can't be."
"Do not make this harder on yourself, child." Freyr held him closer as Loki broke. "I am sure he cared for you very deeply."
"I want to go home." Loki said as he pushed Freyr away. "I want to go home."
Freyr merely nodded.
Loki took the amulets Aesar had worn and kept them.
When he reached the Bifrost, Thor waited for him in worry. When he got there, Thor asked a lot of questions as to why he did not say he would be leaving or where he would go. Heimdall could not see him for some time, and Frigga was completely worried. Thor eyed his brother a little more, remembering those hollow eyes that he had seen weeks after Loki's attack from Fvhal.
"Brother, is something wrong?" Thor asked.
Loki stayed still, staring at the floor, his body shook. Thor couldn't understand, because how could he? He knew nothing of any of Loki's life, or situation. How could Thor ever hope to understand him at all, but Loki couldn't help it. He needed someone, even if they didn't understand.
"B-brother?" Loki said weakly.
He looked up, eyes red and full of tears. Loki sobbed quietly, his frame shook and his legs ready to give way. It was the first in a long time that Loki had broken like that in front of Thor on the Bifrost as well. Heimdall had turned his gaze elsewhere. Thor embraced Loki as Loki's legs gave way, putting his weight onto Thor.
Loki let out large sobs and cries that broke Thor's heart.
"It hurts, brother." He cried.
"It hurts so much."
It was that time that Loki spilled everything to Thor without meaning to. It was also when Loki insisted he get drunk to try and forget. Thor allowed him, only for a brief moment to ruin the memory of pain. Thor asked why Loki would even want to hide that friendship they had. Loki said Aesar didn't want him to be teased for having an Elf as a friend. The Aesir's considered themselves high among others, to put friendship that way was as near as selling yourself at a low price. Thor still found that hard to believe. It wasn't wrong to have a friend, Thor was even glad that Loki had found someone who understood him. He did not approve of Loki's other preferences, but he didn't act upon it, which was a relief to Loki.
Thor kept this secret from his parents, but Thor already knew that Frigga had known about the visits to the Elf. Odin wasn't far behind on gaining the truth, but their parents knew when to act and when not to.
Loki had learned his lesson and he had mourned for a friend.
Loki stopped trying to gain affection from anyone.
Or even trying to make friends.
He kept to himself.
Loki had become more secluded.
He hardened his heart.
He shielded every emotion he could from anyone trying to get an inch closer to him, because Loki did not want to experience any pain ever again. Thor noticed the walls Loki had surrounded himself in and it was another beginning of another strained relationship they, as brothers, had formed.
He just knew that slowly…
His relationship with his little brother was fading.
"Do you want the throne?" Thor asked.
"Do you?" Loki countered.
"Then yes." Loki echoed.
"You want the throne?" Thor said in disbelief. "Truly?"
"Do you want it?"
"Loki, stop repeating everything I keep asking or keep answering."
"But it is fun." He smirked, hiding his emotions. "Besides, you are too gullible."
"Father is near with his decision."
"Then whatever he decides let it happen." Loki sighed and played with his sleeves. "I… honestly do not care."
"Truly? You care not?"
"I find no use for the throne, brother. I always see you on it, rather than I. Perhaps I see myself more of your advisor than anything else?"
"We leave the decision to father then."
There was an unspoken tension between them. They both knew how strained it was. Thor was already a little over two thousand years old, and Loki was only a little over a thousand. Both still young. Thor who was supposed to be wiser was still slightly irrational. And Loki still did not believe him to be worthy of the throne.
Odin made his decision.
And Loki had to make do with whatever he could to change that outcome.
He had to delay it a little longer.
Thor cannot be King.
If he could not find someone to love him apart from his family, Loki had to make do with the love he had for Thor instead. He would help Thor, and perhaps through that, a good blessing would come out of it. He would never know, but Loki believed in small miracles.
Mayhaps the Norns would give him blessing.
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