-0-0- Contains adult consensual age-play. If this does not appeal to you then don't read it!- Rated M for a reason -0-0-
A/N ~ Established Faberrittana relationship / Contains adult themes including age play between adults, consensual spanking, domestic discipline, sex and adult fantasies
Glee and its characters do not belong to me.
Quinn waited until little Rachel was completely asleep before she headed downstairs to make some coffee and think. Quinn hadn't seriously considered all the ramifications when she had very casually mentioned age play to Rachel the other night. Seriously, it was just an idea; she never expected anything to happen this week. This week was supposed to be a well needed getaway for the foursome to celebrate Rach's birthday and Christmas together as a family. It was not supposed to be the start of a new type of relationship between just the two of them.
Today had taken her relationship with Rachel to a completely new dimension and greater intimacy. She was overwhelmed by the emotions she was feeling. At first she felt awkward but now, she really felt like that little girl's mother. She had felt an incredible bond when she had sat and braided her hair. It had changed everything and cemented her feelings for Rachel in a way that overwhelmed and frightened her.
Ordinarily, she would talk to one of her girlfriends, but she was at a complete loss on how to cope with this tidal wave of emotions she was feeling. She had no one at the moment to turn to.
The grief she felt at giving up Beth was so close to the surface, she felt as if her skin was burning. The gratitude she felt for Rachel for not only trying this but throwing herself into it 100%. A confusion and fear that maybe she was a freak for enjoying this experience so much and really wanting to make it an ongoing part of her relationship with Rachel. The guilt and pain she felt regarding Brittany and Santana, she felt like she had betrayed them, she felt like she had seriously altered the course of her romance with them and she was terrified she had damaged all of them.
What had started out as an innocent way to help Rachel through another birthday without her mother had turned into a life altering experience for Quinn.
She had never felt as close to anyone in her entire life besides Beth. Quinn was completely shocked at the depth of her feelings. It had added a whole new level to her relationship with Rachel Berry. That was the problem though; she wasn't just in a relationship with Rachel. They were in a relationship with Santana and Brittany as well.
Quinn felt guilt constrict her chest as she thought of her other girlfriends at home alone together. How would she feel if they had done something like this without even a discussion? She'd be pissed, and she knew she would be. She'd feel betrayed by her lovers as well.
She held her cell phone in her hands for a long time almost willing it to ring and be Santana or Brittany. The blonde felt lost and alone so she hit speed dial to call the Latina she loved so dearly.
"Hey blondie… how are you guys, how is the birthday girl?" The line was crackling and her voice was breaking up but Quinn was so relieved to hear it she almost immediately dissolved into tears.
"Quinn, babe, what's wrong, are you alright, is Rachel alright?" Santana said gruffly her voice rough with concern.
"Everything is fine, I just made a terrible mistake San and I can't fix it and I'm kind of lost and….."
Santana held the phone close to her ear, the reception was terrible and she was only catching every other word or so, "Slow down babe, the reception is really bad. What kind of mistake? Did you and Rachel get into a fight?"
"No, nothing like that, we are actually both really good, I just, I'm so sorry Santana, I love you and Brittany so much you have to believe me. It's just Rachel was so upset and crying about missing Shelby and not having a mother especially for her birthday. I just have been missing Beth so much. I don't like to talk about it and that's totally my fault…." Quinn kept rambling unaware that the call had disconnected.
Santana had heard the words; no, sorry Santana, love, believe me, Shelby and Beth and the line went dead. She got an uneasy feeling in her gut about leaving the two of her girls alone in that cabin but she had absolutely no way to get there before Monday and that was practically two days away. Growling in aggravation and frustration with the weather, cell phones and this nagging feeling in her gut she came close to hurling the phone against the wall. Worried that Quinn wouldn't be able to reach her and a healthy respect for what had happened the last time she broke something expensive in anger, she set the phone down carefully and paced around her house.
Hazel eyes stared at the phone in disbelief, she had completely unburdened herself to Santana but now she had no idea how much the Latina had actually heard, if anything, "Damn weather, damn cellphones, damn stupid ideas of mine."
She made a cup of tea and went to sit in the living room and gaze into the fire and see if that had any answers for her.
Quinn woke up startled by a noise she didn't recognize. She looked around in confusion at the unfamiliar room and for a minute couldn't get her bearings. Listening for what could have woken her up, she heard the wind howling and realized the snow storm had picked back up and the fire had burned down low. Then she heard it again, "Mommy? Mommy?" It was soft and tearful and she felt her heart thud heavily in her chest, it was such a plaintive, fearful cry.
"I'm coming baby girl, mommy is coming." She yelled up the stairs. Walking quickly to the bedroom she saw Rachel's tear stained face and it nearly broke her heart.
"Were was you mommy, I was scawed?"
Quinn walked quickly to the bed and Rachel lifted both arms up for a hug and the blonde quickly obliged, "Oh honey, I'm sorry you were scared. I just went downstairs to make some tea and sat down by the fire and I fell asleep too. I guess even big girls need naps too." She said gently rocking the frightened girl, "Why is my big brave girl so scared anyway?"
"I heawd a ghost." Rachel whispered softly as if afraid of beckoning it again. The wind howled again and the little girl shivered and buried her head in her mother's chest, "that's him, that's the ghost."
The blonde leaned over and kissed the top of her little girl's head lovingly, "No baby girl, that's just the wind, it's snowing again." She stood up and took Rachel's hand, "Come on sweetie, let's go downstairs and we'll make something to eat and some hot chocolate and sit in front of the fire."
Rachel took her mother's hand and they walked together down the stairs to the kitchen. Quinn hummed softly to take Rachel's mind off of ghosts and quickly cut up some fruit and veggies and made them sandwiches and hot chocolate.
They sat in front of the fire and the blonde was watching her little brunette but she seemed a little sad and wasn't her usual chatterbox self.
"What's wrong sweetie you can tell mommy anything, you know that right?" Big milk chocolate eyes turned and looked into hers with such love and trust that Quinn felt her breath catch.
"I sowwy I wied." She said sorrowfully with her eyes downcast.
"Hey, I know you are but you were punished and mommy is not angry anymore. I love you and I forgive you Rachie. You just have to try very hard to not lie anymore so I don't have to spank you again. I don't like to spank my baby girl." She leaned over and wiped away a few errant tears with her thumb and smiling her dazzling smile at the girl.
"I don't wike spanks it huwts." She grinned a cute crooked grin back at her mommy and took a sip of cocoa out of her sippy cup.
Quinn smiled at the adorable little girl and laughed, "Guess what I found? I found my favorite book from when I was little, Winnie the Pooh. Want mommy to read to you?"
The little girl clapped her hands and bounced on the sofa with excitement, "Yay!"
"I'll take that as a yes! I'll be right back." The blonde got up and threw another log on the fire and closed the screen carefully. She retrieved the book and a pillow and a throw blanket off the back of the couch. Sitting down in the big rocker recliner, she patted her lap and the little girl ran over and sat down on her mommy's lap. Quinn adjusted her and covered them both with the blanket and settled down to read some adventures of Christopher Robin and that silly bear Pooh.
Getting lost in her favorite childhood story again, Quinn felt guilty when she looked down and noticed Rachel was fast asleep on her lap. She looked at the big picture window and noticed it was quite dark and the snow was swirling and the wind was blowing.
Adjusting Rachel into a more comfortable position, Quinn pulled the throw around both of them and settled in rocking the chair gently with her foot. She stared at the glowing red embers and was overcome with a feeling of happiness and peace that she had never felt before. All her fears were put to rest, the fears that terrorized her and drove her to nearly lose her mind in despair. She had truly believed she had lost all chance to be a mother. Actually she accepted that she didn't deserve to be a mother, she was selfish and horrible for giving her baby away to Shelby. Finally, Rachel had shown her that wasn't true. She could be a mother, she was a mother and she was a good mommy, a loving and unselfish mommy, she was firm but fair, she was loving and attentive.
She had believed this would be a gift for Rachel to experience a childhood with a mother but it had totally backfired, she was the one given a precious gift.
Leaning down and kissing the brown head resting on her breast, she hugged Rachel tighter and softly sang to the little beauty asleep on her lap.
She would be honest with Santana and Brittany when the time came, but for now she was going to enjoy the experience of being a mommy with her whole heart and hope they could forgive her and understand.
Smiling gently she whispered softly, "Happy Birthday sweetie, mommy loves you."
To be continued.. please review….