"Tony!" Steve called, walking into the lab where Tony and Bruce were speaking "English."

They looked up when he came in, and Tony leaned up against the console.

"Yeah, Capsicle?" He said. "What's up?"

Steve decided to ignore the nickname and got straight to the point.

"Fury wants to know why you haven't turned in your paperwork yet."

"I turned it in yesterday," Tony said. "What's he talking about?"

"Yesterday, you turned in your paperwork for last July," Steve said. "He wants to know about the paperwork for every mission since then."

"Oh, that," Tony said with a wave of his hand as he turned back to what he'd been working on. "Meh, I'll get around to it eventually. Better yet, I'll have Pepper fill it out for me."

"You know what Fury said," Steve warned. "You have to fill it out yourself. He wants to hear what happened straight from your mouth."

"My mouth? How am I supposed to do that on paper? That doesn't even make any sense, Cap."

He turned back to Steve and looked him in the eye, a serious expression on his face.

"How hard did you hit your head in that fight yesterday? You probably should get that checked out or something."

Steve took a deep breath to calm down the surge of annoyance he felt. He'd hit his head because Tony had left his post and one of the robots they were fighting managed to get through to Steve and get in a few punches before he was destroyed.

"Just get your paperwork done," Steve said, turning to leave.

"Where ya going?" Tony called after him. Steve glanced over his shoulder at Tony.

"Somewhere else," he said.

Tony frowned. "You're leaving?" He asked. "Why? Are you annoyed at my wit and Starkasm?"

Steve paused at the door and turned back to the scientist, looking at Tony with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. "...Starkasm?" He said.

Tony nodded. "Starkasm," he said seriously. "It's like sarcasm only way, way more awesome."

"Starkasm isn't a word," Steve said.

"Now, see, there's where you're wrong," Tony explained, sitting down. "You've been in the ice for what, seventy years? A lot has changed since your time, Pops."

"I'm sorry, there's no way I'm believing that 'Starkasm' is a word, no matter what's changed," Steve said.

Tony shrugged. "Believe what you want," he said. "But it's totally a word."

"...No, it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not!"

"Yes it is."


"No no no, Starkasm. It's a word."

"Is not!"

"Is so."

"Are you really fighting with me about this?"

"Are you really fighting back?"

Steve paused, obviously losing whatever patience he had left. "I'm not... I don't... It's not a word!"

"Yes it is, it's in the dictionary."

"Oh come on, Stark, it's not in the dictionary!"

"And how do you know?" Tony said, raising his eyebrows. "Memorized the dictionary? I knew your serum-enhanced learning capabilities were good, but that, that is truly something else."

"I... no, I didn't memorize the dictionary! But I know Starkasm isn't in it!"

"Prove it," Tony challenged.

"Prove it!?" Steve exclaimed. "How would I... Do you expect me to carry a dictionary with me wherever I go?"

"Don't you?" Tony asked innocently. "Huh. Well, if we don't have any dictionaries around here, I guess we have no proof. So let's go with the opinion of the person who has the most experience in today's world. Let's see, I'm the world's leading scientist and richest business man, and you've been frozen since World War II. Starkasm is a word."

"I don't need a dictionary to know that no, Starkasm is not a word." Steve said.

"I have an idea! Let's ask Bruce!" Tony turned to Bruce, who was trying not to laugh. "What do you say, Brucey?" Tony asked him. "Is Starkasm a word? Tell the good Captain here how much he's missed over the years."

"Leave me out of this," Bruce said with a smile. "I'm just here for the lab equipment."

"There you have it," Tony said. "It's a word."

"But he didn't agree," Steve pointed out.

Tony shrugged. "He just didn't want to hurt your feelings," he said.

Steve rolled his eyes. "You're being a child, Stark."

Tony smirked. "You're being a child, Cap."

"I'm not the one making up words."

"No, I'm not the one making up words."

"Oh, come on, now you're just copying me!"

Tony bit back a scoff. Now it was just too easy. " Oh, come on, now you're just copying me!" He said.

"Stop it, Stark, I mean it."

"Stop it, Stark, I mean it."



"Will you grow up?"

"Will you grow up?"

Steve finally seemed to get that Tony was just going to repeat everything he said, and pursed his lips together to keep from saying anything. He glared at Tony, who stared at him for a second and then raised his eyebrows, daring him to say something else.

After a moment, Steve sighed.

"Look, Tony, just do your paperwork."

"Look, Tony, just do your paperwork."

"I... Gah! I give up!"

As Steve stomped out of the room, Tony walked after him.

"Starkasm!" He called after the Captain. "It's a word!"

After the door closed behind Steve, Tony turned back to Bruce, who had been watching the interaction amusedly.

"He thinks he's so right," Tony said, shaking his head.

Bruce chuckled. "You certainly know how to push his buttons," he admitted.

Tony smiled. "I know how to push everybody's buttons," he said proudly. "It's a gift."

Bruce shook his head. "Yeah, well, be careful you don't push too hard," he warned. "We don't want him to hit you and send you through a wall."

"No kidding," Tony said, scoffing as he returned his attentions to his work. "You're not the only one on this team that turns into a giant rage monster. Yours is just a bit more green than the rest of us."

Bruce gave a small laugh. "Yeah, well, you know me," he said. "I'm all about the environment."

Tony gasped. "Is... is that a bit of Starkasm I hear!?"

Bruce laughed outright. "Yeah," he said. "You bet it is."