A/N: So, I'm actually quite proud of this one... There is a reason why Lily is like this, but because I want this to be vague, I'm not going to give that away.

Much love to Ebaz for beta-reading!

But the sea is wide and I cannot swim over

Neither have I wings to fly

If I could find me a handsome boatsman

To ferry me over to my love and die

- Carrickfergus


What is loneliness? She wonders that every day however much she spends time secluded in her little room, her reflection dancing off the mirror. The only things that remain company for her are ballet flats and a music box. The door is locked and she won't let anyone in. She only walks on her calloused feet to turn over the top of the box. The tiny ballerina twirls in the midst of lost adoration. Her once pretty face has grown hollow with the paint that has chipped away over the years. Her dress is a pale pink with dirtied shoes, the consequence of lack of love. She moves slowly in an elegant dance, her box playing the tune of an endless lonesome song.

Lily doesn't care that her feet are painted red. They sound silently when they move about the room, spinning the story of a little girl lost, a broken beauty overshadowed by the sun. Lily knows her paint has chipped away and cannot be recovered. But she dances because she's lost in the music and in her mind she's not alone.

A handsome boatsman

One more twirl for invisible eyes.

Takes her hand

Her calloused feet relax; pain throbs in her ankles. But isn't there such a thing as pleasurable pain?

Leads her away

Lily doesn't lay; she doesn't sit; she sinks down to the floor, the floor painted red.

Across the sea

She coats herself with the little warmth she can find, her hands around her arms, tears growing dry, and cries silent in the sleep that soon drowns her. The music box plays on. The tiny ballerina, broken and ignored, dances to the tune of an endlessly doleful song.

Lays her down, a broken beauty once to be, forever in sleep.