Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

I have decided, after a considerable amount of though, that I will make this chapter into a three-part chapter. These three chapters contain all that I wanted to happen in the first chapter but due to a little bit of encouragement from my friends, this is the best way to go.

Please enjoy reading the third chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

*This is a story not containing spoilers, for many of you fans wondering. I'm a good-natured person at heart, you see.*

*Parts with more dialogue will be accompanied by names of the speakers for example Speaker; "Text" and so. Take notice that dialogue will be large part of each chapter due to this being a comedy. This will not however decrease the overall quality of the story so rest assured.*

I will be adding multiple Japanese words into the story, though not overly difficult so think of this as a way of self-education, nee ?

This took longer than I expected it to take but I'm hoping you'll be satisfied with the turnout.


*This just occurred to me but I figured as this will be a comedy, I should very well add little bits and pieces of the super-teens' lives into the mix. Think of it as leveling out with the sheer amounts of hero-y awesome you will be faced with. They will be written as gag scenes with zero seriousness.*


Kyon's predicament

Akane and Aoi were on their way home back from a rather uneventful day of school when they happened to walk in on the most peculiar of scenes.

Akane; "There's this new ramen shop that I wanted to visit."

Aoi; "We should bring everyone along. Ah, that reminds me, Kurogane-san asked me if I could give him your number."

Akane; "And you said no, right ?"

Aoi; "...Maybe."

Akane; "Well good, because Mimasaka asked me for your number and I gave it to him. Have fun with your newest stalker. Tough love."

Aoi; "Aka-nee...that."

Aoi said while pointing forward where a few feet away a familiar face stood squatting, petting a stray cat that had somehow wandered off it's initial path all the while wearing one of the most happy grins either of the girls had ever seen.

Akane; "Dude...is that Kyon ? It couldn't be Kyon - AMAGOD. THAT'S KYON. Hurry ! Take pictures !"

Aoi; "Already on it."

Around at this time was when the brunette noticed he was being watched.

Kyon; "..."

Akane; "What's wrong Kyon, eh ?"

The two girls approached the brunette, both smiling from ear to ear.

Aoi; "What were you doing, huh ?"

Kyon; "...This is all a dream~ You see nothing~ Now turn around and leave the premises~"

Akane "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! This is fucking priceless !"

Aoi; "I've got it all on video. High five !"

Kyon; "Goddammit you two ! Keep it down !"

Akane; "Why don't you introduce us to your new friend, yeah cat-lover-san ?"

Kyon; "I am nyot - I mean not a cat-lover. And it is not a new friend."

Akane; "Of course you are nyot."

Aoi; "Sure, you are nyaaa-t a cat-lover."

Akane; "We believe you nya~!"

Kyon; *Sigh*

Kyon really has it tough, doesn't he ?

Because RED&BLUE have always been merciless when exposed to every and any kind of weakness.

But then again he deserves it for not knowing the true value of quality ice-cream.

Onward with the story !


"The...not so Fantastic Five"

Chapter 1
"It was supposed to be just Friday, damn it !"

PART 3

They say you're supposed to thank God for each day of life he has bestowed upon you with a good deed for every healthy day you live through because as the saying goes, 'Life is a gift not an earned right'.

See, now, this particular group of five didn't exactly live by those regulations nor did they strive towards them.

You know how every person's got a motto they live by ?

They don't.

No motto.

No motive.

No anything.

Simply living each day as it passes, not even to it's fullest.

Effortlessly letting each possibly special moment pass by right in front of their eyes without even flinching let alone lifting a single finger to maybe do something about it, to change it for the better - To make the moment special on their own.

Happiness was skin deep.

What each person searched for deep down was satisfaction, recognition, a sense of knowledge that they had done something in their lives that deserved to be noticed by someone - that they had left a trace on humanity for years to pass. However, not many people had the leniency to do that - to achieve something in their short life spans. Which is why they desperately held on to each moment with a hope that something might be born from it.

Unlike our five heroes.

To say they didn't care would be an understatement.

They didn't even seem to notice each short-lasting moment pass them by.

Maybe this was their punishment.

Who knows.

All that is known is that, once something has happened, there is no turning back.

And that is exactly what our five heroes would come to learn soon enough.

But, as said before, there would be no turning back.

*The Yori residence, early morning*

Gentle streaks of sunlight streamed through the cracks of the window, landing on a certain red-head's face. Moving a hand over her eyes subconsciously, her eyes flickered open a few moments later. It took her a few moments to register where she was but once realization kicked in - and it struck fiercely - she hopped onto her feet but before she could utter a single word, the doors to her room slid open revealing Aoi clad in nothing but her morning attire.

Moments passed with nothing but stares of confusion exchanged between the two twins.

You know how it's rumored that twins have telepathic abilities to speak to each-other through nothing more than their expressions.

Well, that was almost completely true but there were certain faults that required more than glaces to cover up.

Sitting back onto her bed again, Akane gestured for Aoi to join her.

She needed an explanation and Aoi was just the right person to ask for such a thing because she knew her sister would provide her with the highest of quality follow up on yesterday's occurrings.

Aoi nodded and without a single word, joined her sister on top of the incredibly comfortable bed right in the line of sunlight.

Akane; "I passed out again yesterday, didn't I..."

A rhetorical question, one no need nor want of answering.

Aoi; "Ryuu helped me carry you home."

Akane; "A-chan, something bad is gonna happen. I just know it. I can feel it."

Aoi; "I know. I can feel it too. I think everyone can."

Akane; "We're in for a hell of a ride, huh."

Aoi; "Haha, I guess so. But that's not a problem for us, is it ?"

Akane; "Because we're RED&BLUE after all."

Exchanging a grin with her sister, Akane stood up once again, this time stretching her body whilst her sister took the task of making her bed for her.

Aoi; "Kaa-san isn't up yet. We're forced to fend for ourselves."

Akane; "Then you go wash up and I'll get the rice cooking. Omu-rice is okay, right ?"

Aoi; "Hai, hai, now shoo. I still have to finish making the bed."

Akane; "Alright, Aoi-sama. I'm here to submit to your beckon call."

Aoi; "Should we invite Ryuu for breakfast ?"

Akane; "As thanks. On it."

With a two-finger salute left to her sister, Akane made her way downstairs, firstly to the phone to phone a certain someone that she had neglected to say thank-you to.

She might have been slightly rough around the edges but that didn't mean she forgot her manners.

Quite the opposite, they were with her always, at all moments, no matter what situation she was in.

She punched out the numbers and brought the phone close to her ear.

Ringing...ringing...rin -

Ryuu; "Yamada residence."

Akane; "Ou, it's me. Are you free now ?"

Ryuu; "Akane ? Yeah, I'm free. What for ?"

Akane; "I'm making breakfast and I thought since you had to drag me home yesterday and all, as sorry I cou - "

Ryuu; "I'm there in ten minutes."

Akane; "Not even letting me finish the sentence, huh asshole ? See ya in ten."

Saying their goodbyes, both sides hung up.

Akane bore holes into the newly redecorated amber-colored walls, speculating on all of the possible situations that could have very possibly be coming their way.

But what was about to happen soon never crossed her mind even once.

I mean, defying the laws of logic and sense was not an area where a regular human usually dared to step into let alone question it's validity.

*Yori residence, thirty minutes later*

After minutes of pondering, the red-head ultimately decided on inviting the whole group over.

If they were going to discuss the recent events, it would've been better if all were present.

She had called them around thirty minutes ago and after time uselessly spent in watching Ryuu destroy the omu-rice she had made, with a ring of the doorbell, all of the five were assembled. Leading the two through the seemingly endless hallways of their home, Akane briefed them in on why they were called out of their homes so suddenly. They both looked interested enough.

Good.

That meant she didn't have to dilly-dally around trying to convince them all to listen.

Because she really wasn't that patient.

The only resolution to really cross her mind other than immediate agreement was her forcing them down to behave.

She was ready to pull the leashes out.

Having seated them all to their respective places of the tatami mat, Akane sat down next to Aoi.

Akane; "I think you all know why I brought you here."

Kyon; "What's with the deep wise man voice ?"

Akane; "I'm setting the mood."

Aoi; "Shouldn't it be in a duo ? Wouldn't that be better ?"

Akane; "We didn't have time to discuss on a possible duo."

Ryuu; "Oooh, a duo ! That would totally suit the atmosphere more !"

Kyon; "That's besides the point. I thought you called us here to talk about serious stuff."

Akane; "I did."

Aoi; "Should I start, Aka-nee ?"

Akane; "You've got the first line anyway."

Aoi; "As you all know, Aka-nee passed out yesterday while we were all out. But what you don't know is; this is not the first time this has happened."

Akane; "When A-chan and me were younger, we didn't use to be like we are today."

Silence.

Deafening, heart-throbbing silence.

Akane; "As you saw yesterday, I passed out. A short while later, our father died."

Again, silence but this time it was broken by Aoi.

Aoi; "We don't know why, but Aka-nee's reactions usually foretell a big, sudden change in our lives. But this time, it's not just us."

Akane; "The changes usually effect the ones closest to us. And now we have you guys."

Kyon wasn't buying this.

He wasn't buying it one bit.

They were friends and he trusted them immensely, but his doubt was valid, wasn't it ?

I mean, how was he meant to believe some sap story that may have well been thought up on the spot.

Call him a skeptic, but we wanted proof.

They could all see the more than obvious doubt showering Kyon's features but neither Aoi nor Akane decided to say anything on the matter.

If he wanted to believe them, he could.

The fact of the matter was that, he was sure to be affected, whether he wanted to believe them or not.

It was all on him.

But what they were preaching was no lie, sadly.

It was very much the truth and Kyon would only realize the error of his ways for not trusting them when it was too late to change anything anymore.

Aoi; "It's your choice whether you want to believe us or not. We're just telling you what we know."

Akane; "FUCK. You're difficult, Kyon. You know I don't bullshit about things like these."

But it was all in vain.

Once Kyon has made his mind up, there was really nothing that could prove him otherwise.

Thankfully both girls knew how to give up without a shred of hesitation.

If he wasn't going to trust their word, okay.

Whatever.

They could live with that.

Akane; "Okay, moving on. Since today's Saturday, you guys wanna go our somewhere ? You know that new ramen shop that opened recently ? Some o' the guys from our class said it was good. "

Ryuu; "Ramen-ya !"
"Ramen shop !"

Aoi; "Hai, hai...Ramen-ya desu. Minna wa ii ?"
"Yes, yes, ramen shop it is. Is everyone okay with that ?"

Amatsuki; "Ii yo."
"I'm good."

Kyon; "Maa...watashi mo."
"Me too I guess."

Akane; "Sore ja. Ikuzou omae-tachi."
"Then that's that. Let's go you guys."

Aoi; "Shumpatsu desu !"
"We depart !

*Aomame Ramen shop*

Akane; "I don't know how you can eat like that Ryuu."

Ryuu; "It's all in the technique. You gotta have the correct technique."

Akane; "...I bet I could take you."

Kyon; "Here we go again..."

Aoi; "Don't be such a sour puss."

Akasuki; "That's right ! Don't be such a stick in the mud."

Kyon; "What does that expression mean anyway, huh, Akasuki ?"

Akanei; "It means don't be a fucking douche and piss my mood."

Akasuki; "Exactly !"

Akane; "Shoubu da, Ryuu !"
"It's a battle, Ryuu !"

Ryuu; "Wait, I gotta prep first."

Aoi; "And I need to get my phone out. I'm filming this."

Akasuki; "And after that, I'm gonna arm-wrestle with you Kyon. You're going down !"

Kyon; "What a drag..."

You might be wondering why the brunette always says that.

There's no particular reason, to be completely honest.

It was just something that stuck to him after years of reading Naruto.

Seems harmless, doesn't it ?

Not really.

He may have meant it as a joke but what Kyon didn't know at the time was that this had been the 17054862nd time he had said that line and that, saying that line would affect his life gravely.

Do you believe in ancient spells ?

They exist, and are in effect to this very day.

The doubtful ones.

They are the ones that are effected by these spells and there's usually nothing one can do to retaliate against them.

Maybe this would teach Kyon not to be such a sourpuss and maybe enjoy life some more.

But then again, none of them really knew how to live their lives.

*Some time later, town plaza*

Akane; "Phew, that was some fight !"

Ryuu; "Damn you...You got me on the last bowl..."

Aoi; "Never underestimate the power of Aka-nee's appetite."

Akasuki; "Ahahahaha, Ryuu is a sore loser !"

Kyon; "Ryuu...I'm disappointed. I thought you were better than this."

Akane; "Ooooh, buuuurn !"

Akasuki; "Call the fire brigade 'cause Kyon is on fa-iyaaah !"

Aoi; "Pft. Alright, where should we go next ? It's only morning. That went by faster than I thought it would. Maybe we could - "

Ryuu; "HORSESHIT !"

All four turned sideways at the same moment, catching Ryuu's expression. He was standing on one foot, swearing under his chin while he tried desperately to regain his balance. His sneaker was literally covered...in shit. Aoi took a step back, Akasuki put a hand over her mouth, Kyon face-palmed and Akane only stood, staring at one of the most retarded scenes any of them had ever seen.

Aoi; "Oh..."

Akasuki; "My..."

Kyon; "God...*sigh*"

Not saying a word, Akane then proceeded to dig through her pockets before taking out her phone.

She slid in open and while Ryuu was busy trying to wipe his sneakers off, started taking continuous shots of the same scene, over and over again.

Akane; "This...just may be...the most genius thing I have ever seen."

Ryuu; "Shut the fuck up !"

Silence befell the group for a moment, filled only with Ryuu's nonstop complaining when all of a sudden...

Akane; "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !"

Kyon; "Could you be any more stupid."

Aoi; "I don't think so."

Akasuki; "He could make the Guinness book. "

Ryuu; "Shut up and help me !"

Akane; "Pft, fuck off. I ain't touching that shit. Hah, shit...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !"

This time all of them joined in.

Just the very scenery of Ryuu standing there, trying to keep his balance lest he step in it again was enough to break down all walls of seriousness, even Kyon's.

This scene continued on for a few minutes and when Akane noticed they had started drawing a crowd, she stopped laughing abruptly.

Akane; "Ryuu, you're a retard."

And that was all she was going to say on this topic.

Any more and things could've really gotten bad for all of them.

She may have been a lot of things but an attention seeker was not one of them.

But she wasgoing to post these online.

There was no doubt in that.

Like I said; she was a lot of things and what kind of person would she be if she didn't savor this moment for all it's worth.

Something that priceless deserved to be shared.

Aoi; "Alright everyone, let's go, the plaza's near."

Ryuu; "I swear Akane, if you post that online...I'll - "

Akane; "Hai, hai, hai. Just you keep talking pretty boy. You ain't gonna do shit."

Akasuki; "Baka Ryuu, we all know you're no match for Aka - ".

That was the last thing Akasuki said before she suddenly disappeared from view.

Aoi stopped, pulling on Akane's sleeve to make her stop too. Akane tapped both Ryuu and Kyon's shoulders in an effort to stop their movements.

Akasuki; "How...did this happen."

The smaller brunette exclaimed in frustration, pulling herself off of the ground and into a sitting position.

What happened; While Akane was too busy telling Ryuu off and the two remaining were equally as occupied observing the interaction, they failed to notice the man hurriedly coming their way, obviously on his way somewhere. Akasuki was the only one who noticed but unluckily, before she had the chance to react and move out of the way, the man had stumbled into her, causing her to lose her stepping and fall face first, hitting one of the statues meant there for decoration before ultimately hitting the ground, causing the deafening snap that the whole group had heard but failed to recognize.

Aoi; "There's blood."

Akane turned to face the man that was, after picking up the papers that had flown all over the place, already back on his feet and ready to leave the premises, apparently without even as much as an apology.

And she couldn't have that.

Certainly not.

Akane made to grab his hand, accidentally pulling to fiercely and dropping him to the ground once again.

She didn't regret it however.

One bad thing about Akane; she lost her temper very easily.

And when she did...Well, things never went prettily for anyone.

Akane; "Hey prick."

Take notice that this was a man, at least a decade older than the fiery red-head.

Of course that didn't matter to her.

Do I even have to mention ?

Akane; "How about I take that foot and shove it up your ass ? You think you can get away without even apologizing, HUH ?!"

The man flinched.

He was stumped as to what to say.

Technically he was in the wrong but still, that girl, that was no way to speak to an adult.

However, he just couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Why that was so, he didn't know.

All that he knew was; something just compelled him to not retaliate against the girl.

Something just told him that contradicting her would be the only thing he shouldn't, wouldn't or even couldn't do.

To be completely honest, this was a first for him.

The thing to snap him out of his daze and his uninterrupted gazing into the girl's yellow eyes was the taller brunette out of the two - most probably the girl's sister - who had come from behind, placing a hand on the man's shoulder.

Aoi; "It's a bad idea to argue with Aka-nee. Believe me, you could never win."

He didn't doubt it.

Akane; "Your face pisses me off."

No need to be so blunt...I mean sure, he knew he wasn't the most attractive person in the world but to go that far was a bit...

Akasuki; "It's fine Akane. I'm fine. It's just a little blood."

Akane; "You know you want to sock him in the chin too."

Maybe she would have, if Akane wasn't there.

Akasuki; "That's beyond the point. I'm fine, really. You don't have to go that far for me."

Akane; "Tch...fucking piss me off...Here."

She held her hand out to the man, pulling him onto his feet once more.

Later it was found out that his name was Kisanagi Shouta, a college graduate and that this was his first time in Tokyo so he couldn't really find his way around town.

Aoi; "Didn't you get informed, Kisanagi-san ?"

Shouta; "Ah...no...I didn't imagine Tokyo would be this troublesome. I'm a country bumpkin, you see. I have a hard time finding my way in big cities like Tokyo."

He stopped himself, took a deep breath, then turned around and bowed down to both Akasuki and Akane.

Shouta; "I'm sorry ! I didn't mean to trip you. I was just in a hurry. You see, I have a new job and it's required of me to be present today. It's a Saturday but I have some documents to sort out so I was looking around town for instructions."

Akasuki; "If it's instructions, then we would be more than happy to - "

She was stopped mid-sentence by Akane's hand restricting her words.

Akane; "I'm not as soft as Akasuki nor am I as forgiving. You see, Kisanagi-san, my friends and I were on our way out before your unorganized attitude disrupted out carefully planned schedule."

It wasn't like that.

More like they made plans along the way and if things didn't turn out the way they originally planned, well, then they'd just have to deal with it.

But that didn't matter at the moment.

She had a point to prove and it would be proven.

Akane; "You're perfectly fine, on your own, aren't you !"

There were many sides to Akane, but this side she got from her sister.

Frightening...to the point where you couldn't go against her.

You couldn't even look her straight in the eyes.

Those yellow, unforgiving eyes.

Aoi; "That is true. As much as I'd like to help you out, Kisanagi-san, this is technically your fault and although I may not look it, I do keep grudges. And your fussiness was what cost our friend an injury."

Kyon; "I'm with the twins on this one. We don't have time to help out some person we just met and I don't really have the patience. You're just gonna have to manage without us, Kisanagi-san."

Ryuu didn't say anything.

He felt that, if he were to say anything, all his point would be negated and he'd end up dejected in the end again.

Akasuki; "Uh...Ah...O-okay. If it's what you guys feel is right then...I'm sorry, Kisanagi-san. But it seems like my friends don't really like you."

Pain.

Akasuki was a sweetheart but when she struck, she usually struck where it hurt the most.

Shouta; "I-I see...That's understandable I suppose. Then..."

Another polite bow from the raven-haired adult and he was off, as hurriedly as he had stumbled into them.

Honestly, this was too much trouble for a Saturday.

*Town Plaza, community park*

After all that trouble with that pathetic excuse for a man, the group figured some relaxation was in order and what better way to relax than to visit the community park. It was known for the flowers decorations every bit of it's soil which is exactly what made it so appealing to both children and adults. It consisted of a playground, forest area and a cafe situated nearby, where adults got a chance to rest from their children which were left in the care of the park mascots.

Ryuu and Akasuki; "We're back !"

The blonde and smaller brunette hurried over, both holding drinks in their hands. They had volunteered to buy the drinks when the five of them came here because the mood the three were in wasn't delightful at all.

Was it because of that teacher ?

Or was it something else entirely.

Akasuki; "Akane and Aoi had the Sprite, right ?"

Akane; "Ou, suman na."
"Sorry for the trouble."

Aoi; "Sankyuu, Chibi-chan."

Ryuu; "Kyon, you had the Coke, right ?"

Kyon; "Do you even have to ask, Ryuu ?"

This might strike you as weird but, Kyon was a bit of addict when it came to Coke.

You could say it was his energetic supplement.

It kept him up and running at all times.

A Kyon without coke and none of them would have a good time.

Kyon; "That guy was weird."

Aoi; "I didn't really like him."

Akane; "He pissed me off."

All three took a sip from their drinks at the same time while Akasuki and Ryuu were left to observe.

What in the world was wrong with these three ?

They were usually the ones who controlled themselves.

Why were they so out of character now ?

What happened while they weren't looking ?

Ryuu; "You three are weird today."

Right to the point as always.

Ryuu cracked open his Fanta and sat down next to Kyon on the bench so the only one who remained standing was Akasuki.

Akasuki; "That right...Did something happen ?"

Kyon; "Nothing happened."

Aoi; "What would make you think something happened ?"

Akane; "Nothing at all."

Ryuu; "Bull."

Both Aoi and Akane stood up but Kyon remained seated, silently sipping on his coke.

Maybe that was the thing keeping him calm.

Aoi and Akane; "It's nothing."

Then something happened. It was unbelievable.

Aoi and Akane; "Watch out !"

It happened too fast for anyone but the twins to notice but by the time they did, it was too late.

From both sides, friggin' projectiles flew at them, hitting them both.

They both continued standing for a few moments before collapsing under the sudden pressure of the hit.

Akane; "FUCKING SHIT."

A guy.

In a panda suit.

Did he just punch her ?

Did he really just punch her ?

Did he want to die ?

Akane; "I'll kill you."

One word was all it took and already the red-head was on her feet, sprinting after the surprisingly agile man in the panda suit.

What the fuck.

Who goes around town hitting unsuspecting high-school girls ?

Akane; "I'll fucking kick your ass, pri~ck !"

Back where the group was, they were all too busy examining the weapon used to take out Aoi.

A banana.

A banana just flew at her.

A banana.

Really ?

In what messed up world does a banana just happen to fly at people's heads ?

This was definitely not normal.

Aoi and Akane; "I've had enough !"

At that moment, all time seemed to stop for the group of five.

Nothing was moving.

Nothing was living.

They were completely alone, on this wast world we call Earth.

What happened next, they could only imagine in their dreams because this wasn't something you saw without blinking twice and questioning your sanity.

In one short moment, the whole world shifted for the unsuspecting teens.

They had become what every human dreamed about somewhere deep in their subconsciousness.

They had become...

| THE ELITES |


From that point on...

Everything changed.

They were no longer just high-school students.

But then again...it's not like they were JUST high-school students, even from the start, right ?


The first chapter is finally finished.

I don't like the way this chapter turned out.

Though there is room for improvement.

But remember, we still haven't even gotten started with the funny parts.

This is just the gang in their regular retardation.

Imagine what will happen when they get their powers ?

Because I honestly can't.

I didn't plan for it to go into three parts but I'm happy I was able to finish this in the time that I did.

This was an extremely fun chapter to write and I hope you'll continue reading this ever-so exciting story.

The story does get much more interesting so please do stick around some more, because, this is only the beggining of a never-ending superhero story.

Comments and reviews are much appreciated !

Also, any questions that you may have with this chapter, since it was considerably confusing, or if there were some parts you didn't fully understand, don't be afraid to ask. I love explaining different things to people. Think of it as a favor to me, nee ?

Haruhi-sama.