Dear mother up in heaven... This is the second month at my new school. Everyone here is rich and they never study. I am currently trying to find a room where I can do my homework in peace, but alas everywhere has people chatting in it.

Yukiho trudged dejectedly through the hallway. She didn't have any friends due to her incredible intellectual ability and her very plain looks. She was also very shy and wasn't good at talking to people. She was downright terrified of men. Whenever she became embarrassed she tried to bury herself in a hole. Yes, Yukiho was actually a very socially awkward girl. And that was why she was currently alone as she searched for a place to study.

Then she came across the music room. While Yukiho did have an interest in singing, she had never before visited such a room, and when she put her ear against the door she realized that it was deadly silent in there. Looked like a good a place as any.

She opened the door...

... and was blasted in the face by a stream of rose petals.

"Welcome to the Host Club!" a chorus of voices cheered.

Little did she know that this fated day was the beginning of the downhill spiral her life was about to take.


There were quite a few of them in the room. Girls, that was. Other girls. A black-haired boyish-looking one was seated on a chair, and surrounding her were a pair of twins, a girl holding a stuffed rabbit, an orange-haired girl, and another one with black hair and a hamster on her head.

"W-why are there so many lolis?" Yukiho whimpered to herself.

"Oh, is that the newbie who came here on scholarship?" the one on the chair leaned forward. "I heard that there was a commoner attending this school."

The twins perked up. "Yeah, that's her! We're in the same class!"

"What? You guys are like thirteen."

"Yeah, but we're in the same class."

The one with the rabbit sniffed and tossed back her fabulous brown hair. "A commoner, huh? I suppose even they can accomplish things if they really try... But what is she doing here, anyway?"

"Well, we are the Host Club," the orange-haired one piped up. "So shouldn't we be hosting?"

"I have ten pets!" the one with the hamster declared.

The boyish looking one stood up and held up her hands for silence. "Shut up, you guys." She then walked over to Yukiho, smiling kindly (or maybe seductively) as she leaned down to come face-to-face with the girl. "Hello. My name is Kikuchi Makoto. And so, beautiful maiden, who might you be?"

"H-H-H-Hagiwara Y-Yukiho."

"HeHeHeHagiwara YuYukiho?" the twins repeated.

Makoto glared at them. "I told you to shut up." She turned back to Yukiho. "Hagiwara Yukiho, huh? That's a pretty name. So tell me, what brings you to this humble little room?"

"I just wanted to... studyabit," she murmured.

"Studying? Truly a commoner's activity. Why don't we instead try to figure out what kind of girls you're into? There're the mischievous twins, Futami Ami and Futami Mami..."

They grinned and waved.

"The little princess type, Minase Iori..."

Iori ignored her.

"The cute one, Takatsuki Yayoi..."

"U-uu!" Yayoi made some sort of noise.

"And the idiot - I mean, wild one, Ganaha Hibiki."

"I totally heard that, you jerk!"

Makoto smirked. "Or, of course, you could prefer the prince type... such as me."

"I... I'm not a lesbian-."

"We are the Host Club," Makoto cut her off. "Be grateful that you were allowed to meet us on such good terms. Here, we drink expensive tea and eat expensive food and buy expensive things and maybe we serve some girls or guys but I'm really not sure about the situation concerning that but anyway, have you ever had fatty tuna?"

"No..."

"Well, we eat it all the time. It's awesome."

Yukiho nodded and began to back away slowly. Unfortunately, she crashed into a vase that definitely hadn't been there before and it toppled over and shattered upon impact with the floor. She made a noise akin to a dying whale.

"Whoa~ How much did that cost?" Mami bounced over to observe the shards.

Ami joined her. "A million gazillion lalalillion bazooka shoobity-boop-bap-illi-illi-illion yen!"

"Wh-what?" Yukiho stammered. "I don't have that much money!"

"In that case, you'll have to work for us," Iori said. "Commoners," she muttered under her breath.

"I have a cat, a dog, a hamster, a snake, a pig, a crocodile..." Hibiki began counting all her pets.

Makoto sat back down on her chair/throne and stylishly crossed one leg over the other. "Yes, Iori, that is an excellent idea." She pointed directly at the poor peasant girl. "Hagiwara Yukiho! From this day on you will be the Host Club's bit - dog."

"... Eh?"

The smiles on their faces suddenly seemed a whole lot more intimidating.

"EHHH?"


Ouran High School Host Club... IDOL STYLE

The part where Ami names the price was very much stolen from the Ouran Abridged series on YouTube.

Maybe there will be a part two later on.