Alright, here's the first one-shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Splatalot. If I did, I probably would of made myself a Defender.
It had been four years ever since Kookaburra confessed to Ballista he had a crush on Shaiden. A lot had happened during those four years. During that timespan, there had been a series of interesting episodes. Kook's crush had grown, and after many failed attempts, he had gotten Shaiden to go out on a date with him. After that date, he convinced her to go out on another...and then another.
Finally, after many ups and a couple downs, a courtship, and then an engagement, Kook and Shaiden were married. And now...well, as Kook would say, "the stork was on its way."
Shaiden had been carrying the child for nine months now, and it was expected to arrive at any moment. But even then, the ninja stubbornly refused to stop defending the Kingdom of Splatalot. So today, she was defending the Stockade with Gildar and Kookaburra.
Gildar was manning the Froth Broth-Er and tossing goo grenades, and Kook and the ninja were busy sliming unfortunate Attackers. After squirting an Attacker in the back with green slime, Kookaburra watched as Shaiden poured a bucket of blue slime all over the Attacker in lavender.
"Shaiden, you know how worried I get watching you defend the castle!" he cried. "Not with Kookaburra Jr. on the way!"
The ninja rolled her eyes and looked back at the bird. "For the last time, Kook, I'm just fine! Stop worrying!" Shaiden paused. "Kookaburra Jr?"
Kook shrugged. "I couldn't think of anything else! And Kookaburra's a nice name!"
"Kook, we don't even know if it's a boy or a girl!"
Gildar tossed a goo grenade at an Attacker. "Less talking, more defending! Please!"
Shaiden left the ladders to grab another bucket of slime. She gathered one into her hands, then dumped its contents all over the red Attacker.
"Don't overexert yourself, sweetheart!" Kookaburra called as he refilled his slime stick.
Shaiden groaned, then dashed for the Lethal Launcher. When she reached it, she turned it on and began spraying the Attackers with cold water.
"Witness the wrath of Shaiden!" she called.
"Open wide, mate!" Kook shouted, squirting a stream of slime at an unfortunate Attacker.
The Attacker wiped his face, shot the bird a look, then ran off to grab another rung. Kook laughed, then raised his slime stick over his head and started dancing.
"I'm a Defender!" he sang.
Gildar watched him perform for a moment, then turned to Shaiden.
"I still can't believe that you married him!"
An Attacker in blue dashed across the spinning hexagon. "Yeah, why would a ninja marry a dorky bird?" he shouted.
Kookaburra's jaw dropped indignantly. He whipped his head to the sassy Attacker. "Hey! You stay out of this, little man!"
The battle continued. After the first, second, then third flags had been taken, the two male Defenders started to sing Gildar's hit song, Gildar, You're Handsome.
"Gildar, you're handsome! Gildar, you're gorgeous! Gildar, you make my dreams come true!"
Shaiden smirked, then slimed the lavender Attacker, who was reaching for a flag. Shaiden's slime seemed to have no effect on her, so she snagged the flag and climbed up her ladder. She stood on top of the Pardoning Platform with the other three escaping Attackers: green, orange, and red. The final four contestants danced and shouted victoriously. Gildar could only watch them for a few seconds before waving his arms with disgust.
"Enough with the happy dancing! Please!"
Gildar looked over at Shaiden. She was clenching her teeth and gripping the edge of the Stockade, looking away from the Attackers.
"You see? You're even making the ninja sick!"
Kook yanked his head at Shaiden. His eyes widened with concern. He dashed over to her as the Attackers turned around to face their destiny.
"Shaiden? You alright, sweetheart?"
Kookaburra knelt down next to the ninja, who had sunk to the floor.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?"
Shaiden took a deep breath, then looked up at the bird. "Kook, it's time."
The bird narrowed an eye. "What is?"
"Time for what?"
Shaiden seriously locked her eyes with Kook's. "Kook. It's time."
Kookaburra finally got the hint. "Oh...oh! Oh!"
Kook's shouting caught the viking's attention.
"What's going on?" Gildar asked, walking over to the ninja and the bird.
Kook frantically flapped his "wings." "The stork is here! The stork is here!"
Gildar's eyes widened. He stared at the ninja. "You mean you're about to-"
Kook started running around in circles in a panicky manner. "What are we supposed to do?!"
"I don't know!" Shaiden yelled. "I've never given birth before!"
"Alright, first, relax!" Gildar said.
The bird and the ninja looked at the viking. They obeyed and took deep breaths. Gildar flipped his hair and pointed towards the castle. "Kook, get her inside! Quick!"
The bird nodded, then rapidly yet carefully lifted his wife into his arms. As Kookaburra carried the ninja across the Stockade's purple boards, the viking turned and ran towards the courtyard, screaming for help as he did so.
"SOMEONE GET US A MEDIC!"
Taking Shaiden and Kook's place in the Capture the Crown round were Thorne and Skabb. Gildar had located a medic and was leading her to the ninja and the bird, so Tinkor took his place, as well.
It took only a couple minutes for the entire castle to learn what was happening. Even the Attackers knew. But they weren't nearly as excited as the Defenders. (Or excited at all, for that matter.)
The Defenders fought back hard during the third round. But even then, the green Attacker managed to make it over the Barrier of All Barriers. He leapt on top of a blue Lily Pad, then jumped onto a purple one. The Attacker then hopped for another blue one, but missed it completely.
"Did your mother teach you to jump like that?" Thorne asked, fogging the air.
The Attacker in green ignored the alchemist, then tried again. He made the jump that time, then leapt for the Water Wall. He got both elbows on the edge before falling back into the murky pool. He pulled himself up, then began climbing up the Water Wall.
Tinkor fired a splat ball at the Attacker, but to no avail. The Attacker reached the top, grabbed the crown, and became the new King of Splatalot. He raised his arms high above the air and shouted.
"WHOOOOOOO! YEAH, BABY! WHOO!"
Thorne and Skabb screamed angrily. Ballista placed her hands over her head. Knightriss shook her head scornfully, and Tinkor muttered with frustration.
"Great defending, everybody! Really good job!"
The Defenders whipped around towards the Stockade. Gildar was standing on top of it, leaning over its purple railing.
"Oy, like you could of done a better job!" Thorne yelled.
"Gildar, my dear, what happened?" Knightriss inquired. "Is everything alright?"
Gildar nodded. "Yes. The delivery went well."
"Is Shaiden okay?" Thorne asked.
The viking shrugged. "She's fine, but I never knew that a ninja could scream so loud."
Thorne glanced at the side, feeling a little worried.
"What is it?" Ballista asked excitedly. "Boy or girl?"
Gildar smiled a little. "You'll have to come see for yourself!"
"We've got a whole brood!" Kook announced. "Ha ha!"
The Defenders had all gathered inside Shaiden's room. They surrounded Shaiden and Kookaburra to see the new "fledglings," as the bird would say. The two children were fraternal twins. One was a male, and one was a female.
"Which one came first?" Crocness asked.
"The boy, then the girl," the ninja answered.
"Aw, they're so cute!" Ballista said, smiling.
"What are their names, my dear?" Knghtriss inquired.
"We named him Midnight, and her Song," Shaiden said.
Kook glanced to the side. "I still wanted to name at least one of them Kookaburra Jr..."
Shaiden rolled her eyes. "We'll make Midnight's middle name "Kookaburra," okay?"
Kook grinned. "Sweet!" He moved his gaze to his daughter. He watched her for a moment, then looked back up at the ninja. "Then Song's middle name should be "Shaiden."
Shaiden beamed with approval. Kook looked over at the alchemist. He grinned.
"Thorne, you're an uncle, now!"
Thorne crossed his arms. "Oh joy."
Shaiden glared hardly at her brother.
"Oh, come on, don't pretend you're not excited," Ballista said, nudging the alchemist.
Thorne swayed a little.
"Yeah, Thorne, " Skabb said. "Come on, you get to help with the Defender training!"
"Tinky's excited!" Tinkor declared. "I'll teach kids how to splat! Ha ha!"
Thorne shifted his weight from one leg to the other, then sighed. "Alright, fine. I'm a little excited...maybe a bit more than a little..."
"That's the spirit, Thorny!" Kook cried, smirking.
Thorne glared at Kook. "But I still wish that my brother-in-law wasn't a bird."
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Thanks for reading!