Disclaimer: Recognize it? Not mine. Title and quote borrowed from Alice Cooper's 'Poison.'
Break These Chains
I wanna love you, but I better not touch
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much
I wanna taste you, but your lips are venomous poison.
She wishes to understand her own feelings, at least the way he seems to.
She first noticed him on their very first day at Hogwarts. How could she forget the long wait before the Sorting Hat sent him to Slytherin? She couldn't forget the impatient whispers of her soon-to-be classmates, the whole Great Hall waiting for the verdict in mortal silence... He sat on that stool in perfect stillness for full five minutes as she shifted her weight from one leg to another. Her impatience was quite justified - she was tired, hungry, cold and soaking wet from the train ride and the storm that followed. Just what took so long?
They first interacted on their second year at Hogwarts. She let him borrow a quill... well, not so much 'let him borrow' as 'forced on him, so he would shut up and stop arguing with his moronic friend about missing quills.' He didn't even say thanks, and she didn't quite care. She knew he recognized her gesture for all its haste, its unkindness and annoyance.
But then, why did his eyes take the habit of following her ever since? They do so sparingly yet surely. She often thinks that he's purposefully obvious, but she can't help but feel that she's imagining it all. She catches his stares frequently and looks back casually, inquisitively, wishing to figure out all that intrigues her. Yet she cannot read him at all. All she notices is that he fits her personal definition of good-looking. With his high cheekbones, pale skin, dark hair and clear eyes, she can't deny she finds him breathtakingly handsome.
She wonders if it's only raw attraction that draws her to him. She reckons that it's not. She does not understand.
Adrian Pucey's piercing blue eyes meet with Alicia Spinnet's and shivers run up and down her spine. With a stare so inescapable, Alicia can't help but examine his every feature and catch her breath, her heart beating so fast that it threatens to break every bone that encloses it. She's barely aware of the world around her, of the fact that Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint are shaking hands to initiate their very first Quidditch game against each other. Had this been the first time Pucey looks at her like that, she would've thought he's trying to intimidate her (with irrevocable success.)
That gaze makes her feel vulnerable yet confined, as if he wanted to both hold her close and rip her apart, bite on her neck like a hungry vampire, bite on her lips like a thirsty lover... She feels both numb and awake. She's scared yet thrilled, thinking herself too innocent to be stared at with such intensity. She does not understand.
Once again, she tries to decode the meaning of it all. It's very real to her - it's there, it's happening, and no amount of paranoia will ever deny that fact. The details usually tend to get lost in Alicia's memories, to fade away and make her feel insecure of what she's experienced in the past. For the first time, Alicia knows she's not imagining it.
What's inside Adrian Pucey's mind?, she wonders as she did the very first day. And why do I care?
She does not understand.
Alicia can't ignore the few things she knows about Pucey. She knows he's polite in his distant ways. He refuses to play dirty or to poke fun at the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs. He excels on his own means instead of using other people as his personal staircase. He's a Slytherin that seems neutral in the topic of blood purity. Why is he even in Slytherin? Is he cold? Is he cruel? Is he arrogant? What are his ambitions, his dreams, his darkest thoughts?
Alicia has never spoken to him, but she's never felt this curious about anyone in her life. She wishes to know what is he like, what made him almost take him a different turn. She wants to get to know him, to get closer to him.
She does not understand.
Now he stands there wrapped in green and silver, making it more obvious than ever that they're on opposing teams. She's supposed to detest him, to not even acknowledge his existence. The enmity between their Houses holds her back in very tight chains, but Adrian Pucey seemed to hold her in very tight chains as well. She's a Gryffindor, yet she doesn't have the courage to ask him those questions she wants an answer for. Her head tells her it's betrayal. Her keen sense of morality tells her it's wrong.
But something feels right.
Alicia can't say it feels right in her heart though. She's too pragmatic to believe it has anything to do with matters of the heart. She doesn't think she's mature enough to know how to pinpoint the exact feeling that matches her reactions. Even so, it seems like he does know how to name the feeling. Right now, to her, he looks as if he would have succumbed to his darkest impulses hadn't she been his enemy by design and/or the object of his... attraction? love? desire? obsession? curiosity?
Alicia doesn't even know what it is, but she now knows it's not precisely indifference. She knows it's a wild, deep feeling that feels forbidden and too big for her to handle. She knows she's feeling it and that the owner of those piercing eyes must feel it too. That maybe, Adrian Pucey isn't the only one thinking about venomous kisses and dangerous instincts. And maybe, Alicia Spinnet isn't the only one wanting to ask questions, dig deeper and get closer...
Madam Hooch interrupts her train of thought by signaling the game's start. All the players comply with her orders and Alicia looks away from Pucey. She hopes no one notices that it takes them both a split second longer to lift up in the air.
Maybe Alicia does understand, after all.
Notes: Had so much fun writing this in present time! I'd never done that in my life.
Why both of them, you might wonder? I've had them both on my mind for long. Alicia is the one of the three original Chasers who gets the least love. I wanted to give her something awesome and Adrian Pucey is a character that has always interested me. He doesn't seem to cheat at all, or be hated by the Gryffindor crowd. The one year he didn't play on his team, Lee Jordan made the remark that Slytherin "seem to be choosing them for their size, rather than their skill." So yes. Alicia and Adrian.
This is for Fire the Canon's Third Year Tournament. This is for the second round, as both Alicia and Adrian are on their third year here. It's also for slightlysmall's Reverse Perspective Competition. We had to choose a song and write it from the point of view of the person it's dedicated to. I chose Poison by Alice Cooper, because in my headcanon, that's just how Adrian feels for Alicia. This story is Alicia's reaction.
Thanks for reading! I'd be glad to get some feedback.