Disclaimer: I do not own Disney's Kim Possibleᵀᴹ, Disney's Hannah Montanaᵀᴹ and Fox Corporation's Family Guyᵀᴹ, they remain the sole property of their respected creators.
Author's Note: This plot bunny was on my mind for so long, I just had to get it written down and published, this is also to cure writer's block. Contains mild language, crude humor and just plain silliness in my attempt to write for a more mature audience. Definetly pushing the T rating to the limit I think, so let me know if it should be raised to an M. Hope you all enjoy folks!
A Stormchaser90 Parody
The entire school gym was crowded with hundreds of well dressed guests at the formal Disney Get Together Party, talking to each other while the school band performed classical pieces. With dozens of locations to hold it, Middleton High was chosen to host the party and Mr Barkin had help from members of the student body to decorate the gym hall. It was such a big event, that dozens of legendary character's from Disney's history in attendance were the talk of the party. Dressed in a flowing white dress, Kim Possible was enjoying a glass of champagne while Ron and Rufus were getting something to eat. Already she had talked to a few respected Disney character's, the biggest honor being in the presence of Mickey Mouse. Checking the time of her wrist Kimmunicator, it was ten minutes since Ron and Rufus left her alone, probably still drooling at the food on display.
Grumbling under her breath, she started making her way through the crowd towards the food table, taking care to not spill the drink in her hand. She was nearly there when she felt someone bump into her, the champagne splashing out of the glass and onto her white dress, staining it while someone giggled in a drunken manner.
"Oh great!" Kim muttered, turning to face the idiot who jostled her. A blond woman who was just roughly the same age as Kim, wearing a blue dress far more expensive than Kim's, looking like she had a bit too much to drink. Standing before Kim was a very drunk Hannah Montana. "Okay Hannah, I think you had enough for tonight."
"I'm not drunk," She said, looking at the champagne stain on Kim's dress. "But from the state of your dress, it looks like you're the one who's wasted."
"Uh, excuse me? You're the one who bumped into me!"
While their argument continued, Ron and Rufus were busy tasting the large variety of foods on display, namely the large selection of cheeses. It was then they noticed someone who didn't look like a Disney character, he had a few days growth of beard on him and messy hair, wearing a cheap looking suit.
"Uh, hey," Ron said, looking at him. "So, what show you're from?"
"None," He replied in a british accent. "I'm the writer of this fanfic."
"Oh great," Ron muttered. "Another fan who puts themselves in their fic to save the day. I hate these Mary Sue's!"
"Relax, I'm just here for the party. Can't be arsed to do the hero stuff."
"Really?" Ron said with surprise. "Wow, okay, uh...I guess that's cool. So uh..."
The conversation was interrupted by Kim's agressive voice, which echoed throughout the gym hall, everyone turning their heads after hearing the heroine yell 'WHAT DID YOU SAY?' Ron gulped, realising the reason why the writer didn't want to step into that sitch and diffuse it. It sounded like the beginnings of a huge epic catfight and even with awesome monkey powers, no guy would want to get tangled up in a fight between two pissed off women.
"Uh...you sure you don't wanna do the Mary Sue thing?" Ron asked hopefully, sighing when the writer shook his head. "Yeah, thought not. Okay Rufus, better stop it before it's too late."
While gently pushing his way through the crowd, he could hear the argument heating up when it got to how many fans they had.
"What do you mean, 'I'm losing popularity?'" Kim yelled, glaring at Hannah. "Do you know how many fanfics I have? Over eight thousand!"
"Yeah, well I got over eleven thousand," Hannah countered, crossing her arms with a 'beat that' look on her face. "Besides, my actress has a way better career than yours. Hell, she was on that hit show Family Guy!"
"Bullshit, your actress was not even doing voice work on that episode! Candace Marie voiced Miley! At least my actress was actually in the show!"
"Yeah, for one episode. Oh and her character was a one night stand for a sex maniac, which totally fits her in my..." She never finished that sentence, gasping when Kim grabbed her champagne from her hands and threw it at her face. "OH, YOU BITCH!"
Kim's reflexes were slow from the alcohol she had drunk earlier, crying out in surprise as a fist slammed into her face, knocking her off balance and onto the floor. Snarling with rage, she flipped back onto her feet and charged at Hannah, tackling her to the floor and landing a punch squarely on her jaw, gasping as she felt a foot slam into her stomach. With surprising strength, Hannah grabbed Kim by the hair and began pulling, only to be countered by getting picked up in a bear hug. Everyone ran out of the way as Kim charged towards a window, smashing through it and taking minimal injuries by using Hannah as a makeshift human shield and landing heavily onto the concrete outside. Pulling a shard of glass from her shoulder, Hannah used it as a makeshift dagger, taking a wild swing and slashing at Kim's midsection, tearing the dress and drawing blood.
Flipping backwards, Kim struck out with a kick that caused her opponent to stagger into the school parking, landing in a defensive position before going back on the offensive. Spinging into the air, Kim landed a powerful jump kick to the gut, sending Hannah flying onto the bonnet of the Sloth. Leaping onto her, she furiously began to pummel her opponent in a rage, only to be surprised when Hannah caught one of her punches with an open hand and swung Kim into the windshield, landing heavily on the flight controls. Diving inside, Hannah began punching Kim repeatedly while the wheels of the Sloth retracted and the car blasted off into the sky, causing the two women to fall into the backseat while furiously fighting each other. Taking off a stilleto shoe, Hannah repeatedly began budgeoning Kim around the face, the young heroine managing to swing her right arm to block before using the left to disarm her opponent. Flying towards the controls, the shoe slammed into the speed boost button, resulting in the Sloth to accelerate to incredible speeds and pinning Kim and Hannah against the back seats from the G force.
Go City Science Exposition
At the Go City Science Expo, everyone was attending to see the unraveling of a teleportation device that could send matter from one location to another, another invention of Dr Cyrus Bortel. Beginning his speech, he cleared his throat while everyone was seated.
"Welcome everyone to the Go City Science Exposition," He said. "Now, I am here to demonstrate my latest invention, a powerful teleportation device that can send multiple objects from one location to another. Unfortunately the other transport pad malfunctioned and I couldn't repair it in time, but I can still teleport these objects to a pre-determined destination. We set up a video feed in downtown Go City in which you can see on the television behind us...wait, do any of you hear that?"
The entire hall fell silent as they listened hard, hearing the faint rumble of powerful engines in the distance, gradually increasing in volume until it became a horrific roar, the windows shaking from the powerful sonic vibrations in the air. Before anyone could react, the Sloth smashed through a wall and crashed into the stage, showering a few people with chunks of debris and barely missing the teleport device by a few feet. The horrified audience gasped as a rear door of the Sloth broke off and scraped alone the stage, Hannah lying on top of it after receiving a powerful kick to the face, blood flowing from her broken nose. Leaping out from the car, a battle worn Kim resumed her attack as Hannah forced herself up, swing her fists wildly and landing a few lucky blows. Catching both her arms, Kim thought she managed to restrained Hannah, reeling backwards into a control panel after a powerful headbutt and hearing the teleport device begin to activate. Stunned from the powerful blow to the head, Kim staggered on her feet, trying to regain her balance.
Taking advantage in their fight, Hannah connected a powerful punch to the side of Kim's head, smirking as the teen hero crashed into the guidance computer system. Shaking her head to clear it, Kim focused and caught Hannah by the arm, flipping her over her shoulder and slamming her hard onto the stage floor, quickly twisting her arm and slowly applying pressure to its breaking point. A loud beep caught them off guard and gasped as the machine fired a powerful blast of energy at them, dissapearing before the audience's very eyes.
"Wha...what the?" Bortel gasped, scratching his head as he looked at the broken guidance system. "Where the hell did they go?"
Quahog, Rode Island
A red station wagon was driving along the suburban streets of Rode Island, a very annoyed Lois sighing while her husband and his friends were giggling drunkenly. She had to be made designated driver since Peter was banned from calling a cab, due to his inappropriate behavior when inside one. They had only a few more minutes until they got to Quagmire's house when a bright flash filled the air, two young woman screaming as they fell down towards them.
"OH MY GOD!" Lois screamed, hitting the brakes as the two women slammed into the windshield. Everyone screamed in horror as the car swerved erratically along the street, the two women falling off the front of the car before it smashed though a wall in a house. Groaning, Lois rubbed her head while Peter stumbled out of the car, vomiting on the floor outside while Quagmire helped Joe off the car floor. "Agh, is everyone alright?"
"Y-yeah, I think so," Quagmire said, helping Joe onto the seat. "You Joe?"
"Oh God, I-I can't feel my legs!" Joe slurred, until his mind gradually unclouded and remembered he was a paraplegic. "Oh...yeah."
"Peter, honey, you okay?" Lois asked, looking at Peter stumbled against a wall.
"Yeah but man, I really gotta pee," Peter groaned, hopping on the spot until he spotted an urn on a fireplace mantle. "Wait a sec, I'm gonna go in there."
Unzipping his fly, he took the urn off the mantle and begun to urinate in it, sighing with relief until he looked down. To his horror he noticed the liquid inside was greyish, wondering if it was a medical issue he needed to check out, but then realised that urn must have contained...
"Holy crap, I just pissed on a dead person!" Peter exclaimed, dropping the urn to the floor and watching it smash, expelling the contents on the floor. "Oh man, whoever owns this house is gonna be pissed off!"
Hearing someone coming down the stairs, he noticed a familiar looking foot that was shaped like a giant chicken's, his eyes widening in surprise as his nemesis Ernie the Giant Chicken stepped into the den they crashed into.
"What the hell is going on..." He said, trailing off when he saw the broken urn and the puddle of mix urine and ashes on the floor. "Oh...my...God. Mom!"
His eyes went up to Peter, noticing his unzipped fly, narrowing in a deep rage.
"You son of a bitch!" He snarled, lunging forwards and smashing Peter through the wall, frantically punching him in the face. While their fight spilled onto the street, they were completely oblivious to the fight between Kim and Hannah, going toe to toe with each other. Gaining the upperhand by sheer luck, Hannah shoved Kim towards the broken house, slamming into the back of the station wagon.
"Argh, dammit!" Kim muttered, rubbing her head and looking at everyone in the car. "Uh...sorry for landing on your car."
"Uh...that's okay," Lois said, chuckling weakly. "These things happen all the time to us."
"That's a..uh..nasty cut you got there," Joe said, noticing the cut on Kim's midsection. "You better see a doctor."
"Yeah I...wow, you sound like my school principal," Kim said, noticing the similarity in his voice, gasping as Hannah grabbed her hair and yanked her backwards, dragging her across the front lawn.
"Huh...that's weird," Quagmire said, thinking about Kim's voice. "She sounds like someone I nailed once."
Outside, Kim and Hannah were furious trading blows while Peter had Ernie in a headlock, howling in pain as his nemesis elbowed him below the belt and began pecking at his face. Knocking him back and stunning him slightly, Ernie ripped up a letter box from his yard and used it as a melee weapon, smashing it across Peter's head. When he raised it for another blow, he felt Hannah slam into him after getting thrown by Kim, causing them to slam onto the street. Just as they were getting up, they didn't notice a car coming towards them, being driven by drunken high school students until it was too late. Screaming in terror, the car slammed into Ernie, knocking him and Hannah onto the bonnet, before driving towards Peter and Kim. Kim sprang into the air and somersaulted onto the car while Peter got knocked onto it, landing onto the driver and accidentally crushing him to death under his weight.
With the car screeching out of control, the fighter's ignored the danger and focused on beating their opponents, Kim dodging a punch from Hannah, which instead connected with a young man and sent him flying out of the car, breaking every bone in his body as he hit the street. Swerving out of control, the car crashed into a parked car on the side of the street, sending the occupants flying into the air towards the Griffin residence. Smashing through the wall of Meg's bedroom, Meg screamed in terror at the sight of the dead school students, while the surviving four brawler's continued their fight which spilled out into the hallway of the house. While Peter and Ernie duked it out, Kim and Hannah's fight spilled out into Stewie's room, waking the homicidal infant up. Sitting up, he watched the fight occuring before his very eyes, surprised at what was happening. Trading vicious punches and kicks, Kim and Hannah didn't notice the time pad they were stepping onto, disappearing in a bright flash of light as they travelled in time.
Just as everyone watched the Sloth blast off into the sky, flying at insane speeds towards Go City, a flash of light filled the air and the two women crashed into the parking lot. Slowly getting up, Kim spat out some blood in her mouth and threw a punch towards Hannah, cracking her jaw upon impact. Ignoring the pain in her chest, knowing that a few of her ribs must have been cracked, Kim charged towards Hannah and knocked her into some bushes with a flying kick. Groaning in pain, Hannah grabbed and handful of dirt and threw it in Kim's eyes, temporarily lowering her accuracy and vulnerable to attacks. Kicking out at her legs, Hannah tripped Kim up and leapt onto the fallen teen, grabbing her hair and repeatedly slamming her head into the concrete of the parking lot, specks of blood staining the ground.
Tensing her arms and legs, Kim bucked viciously in order to knock Hannah off her back, feeling naseous from the violent blows to the head she received. Blinking the dirt from her eyes, she picked herself off the ground and forced her brain to focus, determined to not lose this fight. Feeling a lot more sober from the fight, Kim waited for Hannah to make her move, countering the singer's clumsy punch and returning it with a punch of her own.
"Y'know, I may not have as many fans as you do," Kim said, glaring at Hannah. "But I'm still better!"
Spinning on the spot, Kim landed a powerful roundhouse on Hannah, knocking her out cold as well as a few teeth. While a badly beaten and bloodied Hannah Montana lay on the ground, Kim noticed that everyone from the party was standing outside, a very shocked Ron at the front of the crowd. Limping over to him, Kim smiled weakly as he took off his tuxedo jacket and wrapped it around her gently, while she draped an arm over his shoulder's for support. With the shocked expressions on everyone's faces, Kim sighed with embarrassment, knowing she must have made a spectacle of herself.
"Oh man, I really ruined this night didn't I?" Kim groaned weakly, wiping a bit of blood from her mouth. "I shouldn't have lost my temper."
"Look Kim, now is not the time for playing the blame game. Right now, we gotta get you to a hospital," Ron said, before remembering the Sloth was gone. "Uh...can someone give us a lift?"
"Yeah, I can," Shego said, making her way through the crowd, only for someone to bump into her and splash their drink onto her expensive green dress. "Oh dammit! You ditzy blond! This is dry clean only! It's totally ruined!"
The some of the crowd stepped back as they saw a very dunk Shapay Evans giggling on spot, while given Shego a sarcastic look.
"Girl, that dress was ruined the moment you put it on!" She said drunkenly, giggling as Shego's mouth opened in shock. When it finally sunk in, the green woman's face turned into a very annoyed glare, while everyone ran for cover.
"Oh...you so did not say that!" Shego snarled, igniting her hands.
Stormchaser90's Story Follow Up
Yeah, I know. Immature, yes. Stupid, yes. But still makes for a nice little bit of reading. I did this as an exercise for writer's block, clearing out a few ideas from my head so I can focus on other stuff. Anyway, feel free to leave a review if you want...oh boy, I am gonna get crap from Hannah Montana fans I think.
Now I know that some writer's put themselves into a story, as a main character or something, yet I just gave myself a minor cameo and besides, who wants to be a hero anyway? I'm just the sort of guy who goes to a party, has a good time and wakes up in the middle of a shopping mall the next day.
Now I guess Family Guy fans know which gag I based this upon, the legendary Chicken Fight.
Also when Kim recognised Joe's voice, that was a nod to Patrick Warburton's voice roles on both shows and when Quagmire said when he recognised Kim's voice. Well in the episode 'I Take Thee Quagmire' where he marries a maid named Joan (voiced by Shego voice actress Nicole Sullivan), in a cutaway gag, Christy Carlson Romano voiced a one night stand of his.
Also I'm helping out another KP fanfic writer, by Beta-ing ValenVaGale's story Team Unstoppable and correcting the chapters on that fanfic.
So yeah, just feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think, I just hope you all liked it then.