Why does Jefferson really hate wonderland? Set after Jeffeson helps Dr. Frankenstein, before "Hat Trick".
Chapter 1: Meeting Alice, and being troubled together
I spin my hat on the ground once more and jump through the purple haze. I had just dropped Frankenstein off in his world, but that didn't mean I had to go home yet. I decide to visit Wonderland, with a name like that how can you go wrong. I have visited Wonderland before, though, I find it suits me. We are both wonderfully mad.
I land gracefully on my feet, showing that I have done this many times before. I find myself in a room surrounded by doors. Some doors take up the entire wall, yet some are so small I bet I wouldn't be able to even get my head through. I squeeze my eyes shut tight as the room starts spinning, I have never quite gotten used to that part. When the room once again becomes still I open my eyes and quickly locate the door I'm looking for. Amidst all the different sizes and colors, the door to Wonderland is brilliantly plain, it's a mirror! I confidently step through the mirror and find myself squinting against stunning sunlight. I shade my eyes with my hand and suddenly, a rabbit in a waistcoat comes into view. In any other world this creature would be met with astonishment, but after all, this is Wonderland.
"Ah Jefferson, how are you!" the rabbit quipped in a falsely cheerful voice.
"Quite dandy, McTwisp, and yourself?" I answer and ask with undertones of absurdity. It doesn't matter how you act here, everyone's this way.
"Oh, you know, the usual. Trouble with Alice, dodging the Bandersnatch. What brings you here Jefferson?" McTwisp asks a little suspiciously.
"Boredom… and a search for trouble, may I proceed?"
"Be careful Jefferson, things are changing in Wonderland. Fairfarren!" the rabbit chirps.
"Fairfarren my favorite little waistcoat donned rabbit." McTwisp gives me a look of curiosity and hops off the path, disappearing into bushes. Tipping my hat so it cascades shadows onto my face, I continue down the path. As I walk along the dirt road I can't help but notice the sullen expression on the usually cheerful flowers. I can't help but think to myself that, either the white queen might need to speak to them a little more kindly, or Wonderland really is changing.
As my journey continues, and I strangely don't come across any other curious little animals, I eventually come across a fork in the road and a street sign. I ponder the decision, East to Quest, or South to Snud? Decisions, Decisions. Snud it is. I turn to the south and continue sauntering on, boredom making me spin my top hat around my fingers. The path I'm walking, a road surrounded by tall trees with turquoise leaves, takes a turn and a house comes into view. I stop in my tracks, taken by surprise. In front of me is the most peculiar house I have ever come across. It quite reminded me of a hare. And in front of it, even more peculiar, was what seemed to be a tea party. A long table laden with various tea fixings took up most of the yard. The only occupants in this tantalizing tea tale were a small dormouse with a needle at her hip, a hare with an air of lunacy, and an elegant blonde girl with a scowl across her beautiful face. A mad tea party, my favorite. All three stop when the spot me. The mouse draws here needle, the girl takes on a look of annoyance, and the hare clutches a chipped tea pot to his furry chest. Perfectly aware that I'm under a spotlight, I traipse forward and pull out the chair next to the blonde, straddling it backwards.
"Alice?" I ask, directing it to the girl. She chuckles.
"Not hardly. And who may you be?"
"Jefferson... the hatter." I answer.
"A mad hatter?"
"And why would you ask that?"
"Everyone here is mad." she says with a straight face. Suddenly she giggles.
"Where are my manners? Thackery, and Mallymkun." she said, gesturing to the hair and the mouse, respectively.
"If you're not Alice, what's your name then?" I ask, tipping my head to the side slightly.
"I never said I wasn't Alice, I said I was not hardly Alice." she said with an air of arrogance.
"Well then Not Hardly Alice", I say with a charming smile. "Would you like to take a walk?" I hold out a hand and she tentatively places hers in it. After all, if I can't have a wonder, then why is it called Wonderland?
"Very well then, fairfarren Mally, fairfarren Thackery. We both stand up and I lead Not-Hardly-Alice away from the table. We had only gone a few steps when Alice whispers,
"What?" I ask, confused.
"Trust me, just duck." she insured. Suddenly from behind me I hear from what I assume is the hare,
"You're all late for tea!" I duck just in time to avoid the teapot sailing towards my head. Alice chuckles and starts to run away. I chase her of course.
I catch Alice around the waist and we fall down in the grass laughing. I'm having actual fun, I realize. Between this darn hat, Rumplstiltskin, Doctor Frankenstein, and what's her name... Regina, when was the last time I had been this carefree? Alice had calmed down and was resting her head on my stomach.
"Where did you come from?" she asked
"A magical land." I reply with my eyes shut.
"More magical then this?" she asked, peering up to my face.
"Depends on your preference of sanity."
That got a giggle from Alice.
"Where did you come from?" I ask
"Earth." Alice said matter-of-factly
"Sounds absolutely dreary." I say while wiggling my eyebrows.
"Oh it is! People there have absolutely no room in their lives for absurdity." she says excitedly. Now it was my turn to chuckle.
"Do you like it here better?" I open my eyes just in time to see Alice's face go blank. Great, I always have to bring up the touchy subjects.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." I assure her.
"no no, it's quite alright." she says, sitting up and facing me.
"When McTwisp found me, I was about to be forced into a marriage that I wanted absolutely no part of. I fell down a rabbit hole, which I later learned was a portal, and ended up here-why are you laughing?" Alice inquired.
"You fell through a rabbit hole, and that's how you ended up here?" I asked, making sure I got the story straight.
"Yes. And how, may I ask, did you end up here?"
I smiled at her and pointed to my hat
"Your hat is a portal? You really are a Mad Hatter then. Back to the point, can I continue?" she asked quickly.
"So here I was, in Wonderland, and some delightful furry creatures informed me that the dreams I had been having since childhood were not dreams, but in fact memories. I had been in Wonderland before, imagine that."
"Oh, I'm imagining it." I say, teasing her.
"Shut up! So before we all came to the insightful conclusion that I was in fact, the right Alice, we had a quarrel about if I was even Alice! Absurd right? So Mally was insisting that I was the wrong Alice, so they had to take me to Absolem."
"Absolem, I'm sure you'll meet him later, he's lovely. So Absolem shows us the Oraculum, showing me on Frabjous day, killing the Red Queen's Jabberwockey. Have I lost you yet?"
"Yes" I inform her.
"No matter, keep up! So then apparently the red queen sees the Oraculum, and her royal subjects are forced into a kill-Alice spree."
"Wait, what is the Oraculum?" I ask, my eyebrows creasing.
"Here, listen." she says. Her face goes blank and her eyes cloud over. In a voice with a pitch differing from her own, she recites,
"`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe."
"Okay," I start "Although that poem was slightly more crazy then even I might be able to handle, I sort of understand now; the boy is you. But who were channeling just then?"
Her eyes go sad and slightly distance this time, and the corners of her dainty mouth turned downwards into a frown.
"I must be the most socially awkward person ever, I always ask the questions that nobody ever wants to answer." I try to wrench the foot out of my mouth. I might have succeeded, it made Alice blush.
"No, sorry, it-it's okay." she stutters "his name was Tarrant, Tarrant Hightopp."
"You said was, what happened to him?" I ask, my voice sympathetic.
"I'll get to that eventually." says Alice, taking a deep breath "so, as I was saying, everyone went on a kill-Alice spree because I was supposedly going to kill the Jabberwocky. That's pretty much when I became friends with Mally and Thackery, Chessur led me to them when I was running from the Bandersnatch."
"Who and what?" I interrupt, sounding slightly alarmed; this tale was spinning out of control."
"It doesn't matter, although a trip to Wonderland is never fully complete without meeting Chessur."
"Wait a second, evaporating cat?" I ask.
"Yes, now let me get back to the story. Thackery and Mally were hiding me when one of the Red Queen's knights came along. I, of course, hid; however, after seeing that he was really in alliance with the White Queen, I started to trust him. And, well, to put it blatantly, we fell in love. And it was wonderful, until Frabjous day. Tarrant helped me be braver; he was the one that taught me the poem, to show me my destiny. He helped me realize that I might just be the Alice that everyone was so desperately in need of. I became the White Queen's champion. I was to slay the Jabberwocky, with my faithful knight by my side. So on Frabjous day, everyone is engaged in battle and I finally cut off the head of the Red Queen's champion. I turn just in time to see the Red Queen's number one knight thrust a sword into the stomach of my beloved Tarrant. There is some magic here, but not that kind. He died shortly after." she finishes somberly.
We were both silent for a second.
"Why did you stay in Wonderland then?" I ask.
"What, and go back to Earth where I'm doomed to marry someone I don't love, while I'm forever thinking of another man? There is nothing for me there. It's better to stay in Wonderland, risking my life and slowly losing my insanity."
"I don't think you're insane." I tell her. She smiled.
"how about you?" she asked "what's your life story?"
"Um... Lost my parents, inherited a hat, live alone, I visit different worlds and stir things up for fun, which happens. Uh, I make deals with the dark one, and recently helped a mad doctor trick a woman named Regina." I tell her.
"Um... Okay... Where did you say you live again?" she asked. The look on her face made me laugh.
"The Enchanted Forest."
"Umm... Sounds slightly more peculiar then I thought." she adds. I laugh again. We once again lapse into comfortable silence. Alice is still lying with her head on my chest. We close our eyes and listen to the forest. Alice interrupts the quiet.
"What do you think of me Jefferson? And be honest." she says.
"Um... Well... At first I thought you were kind of snotty- stop laughing- but now I think you're sweet, and maybe a little troubled." the look on Alice's face told me she was satisfied by my description. "Now, what do you think about me?" I ask.
"Well cocky, a little arrogant, but caring, loyal -somewhat-, and ... Troubled." she describes. I sigh. Guess we got each-other down pat.
"Well then" I say, putting my arm around her shoulders, "I guess we can be troubled together" Alice smiles, and she's beautiful. Suddenly, we hear a noise,
"Oh my goodness, that must be McTwisp!" Alice says, quickly standing up.
"Oh shoot... Run!" I say, standing up. Alice giggles and starts to run, I give chase again. I chase Alice out of the forest and we find ourselves in front of the mirror that I came through. Alice turns to me, breathless with her face flushed, but a bright light shone in her eyes.
"Until tomorrow, my Mad Hatter." she says holding out her hand.
"Until tomorrow, my Alice." The smile she gave me then could rival the brightness of the sun. I touch her hand lightly to my lips and hold it there, making her blush. I tip my hat and she gives a little wave. I then disappear through the portal and find myself, once again, in the hall of doors. For once, I find myself actually looking forwards to tomorrow