Summary: Goofy is good but he is a goof. Crack fics in the universe of the True-Cross cram class. A series of one-shots.
Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Exorcist
Being a Saint
Yukio stood, his eyes glaring holes at certain twin devil-minions that posed looming in front of him.
"Yukio! What on devil's sake took ya so long?", a snappy voice of Rin sounded behind him. He galloped close like an angry horse, a supporting attribute of a somewhat feminine summer-hat bounced proud on his head.
"I'm contemplating nii-san"
"Contemplating what?", Rin suppressed growling out, "About the diplomatic pros and cons of getting into a damn toilet?"
Yes, the said two devil minions seemed to be two doors leading to the toilet, only Yukio seemed to have an unworldly conflict within himself in the matter of 'choosing'
"You took 15 whole minutes to decide which freaking gender you belong to? Take a damn look inside your pants!", Rin growled out impatiently, patting the area between his legs for extra mega-emphasize.
Yukio frowned, then got back to his dreading task of door-watching, "But I don't know which is for which.. Look! Who in their right mind would put a papaya and a banana as gender signs?"
The fruits, the source for the irritated teacher's mini dramatic confusion, hung innocently near each door. The obviously fake papaya was cut vertically, while the banana was.. like any banana there was, yellow and curved. Damn... they tasted great when they were not such party-poopers for any human's most basic need, pissing. The enigma, as the brunette's brilliant intelligence failed to decipher, was pissing him off! *pun intended*
"Um...", Rin scratched his head, not sure whether to frown or to laugh out loud, "You seriously can't tell?"
"They obviously differentiate women and men, ya know... urm... in that way?"
"Umm in that sword and sheath analogy? Or this?", Rin gestured his forefinger inside his 'o' shaped curled thumb and forefinger.
His twin just stared at him as if he was a lunatic jumping around in a street monkey-show wearing hot-pink tight skirts and gigantic sun-shades. 'But he is the dumb one!'
Rin raised his arms, feeling defeated, "Just use your instinct then! God~ Mr. Such-a-pain-in-the-ass-saint, don't they teach you 'bout this stuff in biology class? No? Well, I ain't as hell taking the job!"
Yukio huffed and fixed his glasses, feeling slightly irritated at his brother's vague and worthless explanation, "Fine, I shall use my instinct then" He turned around and started towards the door. Rin squeezed his eyes shut, fearing the worst. 'You'd better be lucky in 50-50 luck guess lil bro...'
"Pervert! Get the hell outta here!"
"Nerd-shit, I'm sooo gonna cut off your dick and feed it to my poodle puppies!"
"Kyaaaah! Lecher glasses freak!", a roll of toilet paper was thrown out of the chaotic room.
Rin chose to be smart and bolted 1000 steps away from the soon-to-be massacre site. Just in time as a freaked-out-beyond-words Yukio burst out with a red-angry hand-print on his cheeks, his clothes was tattered and spectacles half dangling, and a mob of a dozen women hot in his heels like hounds in a mission for blood.
From that day onwards, Yukio would scream at the mere sight of any papaya or banana displayed on a TV's screen.
~Golden Mist Fox