Alright everyone. So now that I've gotten started back up on HoL, I'm gonna do my best to go through when I can and edit-repost all my stories. I'll start on the small one-shots, and then work on the completed chapter stories. I will not be looking into working on RNF in any way, shape, or form until HoL and completed! I hope all of those who follow RNF can forgive me but I really need to finish up these stories. It leaves me with lingering anxiety to have things unfinished for this long. Much love to all of my readers and followers; you're fantastic!


A Past Not Forgotten

I do not own HP. I do not make profit.

Warnings: mentions of death, heavy angst; overall really sad

Edited: 12/20/15 4:16 AM

Words: 792

Kneeling before the grave in front of him, he curled in on himself as the wind blew hard; making chills run down his frame. It was close to Christmas time now, making the skies darker earlier. Snow flurries began to drift down from clouds suddenly, covering the ground in a light sheen of white rapidly. He brushed his bare hand over the stone in front of him to knock the snow off; fingers numb from the wind against his bare hands.

"How is it that it's been 5 years and no matter how hard I try, I can't move past us?" His voice was low, heavy with unshed tears and emotion.

"You were always such an arse to me, a right git; but I still followed after you like a little pup." His throat choked up, but he swallowed back the emotion before blinking his eyes to stem off the tears.

"I still think about the time I first told you how I felt. You thought it was some nasty joke, some trick to make you look stupid; make you lose your job. How is it that I was able to convince you my feelings were real? I can't remember that part anymore…" Running his fingertips over the lilies laid a top the ground; his fingers sparked along the magic surrounding the flowers. A preservation spell would prevent them from waning from the weather for weeks, exactly as he had done every month since his passing.

"I miss you, so much; I seem to cry more than ever before. Will it ever get better? You always said it would…" His voice broke off, a small sob escaping him as he lay down; curled partly around the headstone. His hand lay at an odd angle against the worn marble; but he didn't care. He just wanted to feel closer to the only man he found himself capable of loving.

"She's waiting at home for me and here I am, laid on top of your grave like I do every month. She still isn't sure what I do when I'm gone like this; I can't find it in myself to tell her. I wish you were here, so I didn't have to. So everyone would know. Only a few people know the truth, and they will take it to their grave." Silence filled the air; the wind howling loudly in the atmosphere; speaking out his sorrow for him.

"I love you, so much Sev…I'm sorry I couldn't save you. The only thing I am not sorry for is that you don't have to witness the despair you've left behind…I love you." He broke off in grief, closing his eyes tightly as his tears streamed down his cheeks. The snow continued to falling; beginning to cover his still-form. Nothing mattered when he was here. He was ashamed to say even she didn't matter when he was here. Digging his nails into the grass when he heard footsteps, he stayed silent; praying that whoever it was would leave him alone.

"I knew I'd find you here when Moony said you hadn't come back 3 hours ago. You've been out here the whole time, haven't you? You'll get sick pup, and she'll worry." Kneeling down next to his godson, he brushed the snow from him.

"She's waiting for you, pup. We all are. We need you to come back to us now." Still not moving, it was barely apparent he was breathing.

"He's never coming back, Siri. He'll never come back to me – to us." He said heartbroken, refusing to move from his place on the ground. Sirius found his chest tighten with unexpressed emotion at his godson's mourning.

"I know pup, but he would be right angry to know you were like this. He'd want you to take care of yourself; take care of her." He hated reverting to using his granddaughter as a key to bringing him back, but there seemed to be no other way. Feeling the body move under his hand, he helped him up off the ground; wrapping an arm around him to hopefully help fight off the chill.

"You're frozen, we should head home now." His eyes cast down; he still stared wearily at the stone before him. Silently nodding his head, Sirius led him away from the marble; out of the graveyard and back home to his waiting family. As the wind continued to howl and the snow fell harder from the sky; the lilies brought life to the only onyx stone in the cemetery.

Severus Snape

A man of many talents and accomplishments

He was loved greatly and shall be missed dearly

A friend

A lover

A husband

A father