Even Until Death
by: Miriam Espinoza
It was my first day of school and I could already tell I was stepping into Hell. As I walked towards the school's doors, everyone stared and whispered cruel things into each other's ears. When I was walking to my locker I heard some guys yelling and beating someone. The person the guys were tormenting was short with hazel eyes. He was probably the most perfect person I had ever seen. "Hey! Leave him alone!" I shouted at one of the guys as I shoved them off of the other kid.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" one of the guys shoved back.
"Leave him alone." I said warningly.
"Or what?" the other guy responded with a smile. At this point my anger was too much to handle. I punched him on the face leaving my fist hurting and his nose bleeding. "You're gonna pay for this." he said as he walked away in rage with his friends.
"Are you ok?" I asked the poor guy on the floor and helped him up.
"Yeah, just a little bruised. Happens all the time. I'm fine."he responded. I gave him a sorry understanding look, I knew what it felt to get pushed around like that. "My name's Frank by the way." he smiled. His smile was so amazing, don't know what it was but it made me feel so happy and I might have gotten butterflies.
"Hi, I'm Gerard. First day here." I said
"Oh well nice to meet you. Thanks for getting those douche bags off of me."
"No problem, but you sure you're ok?" I leaned towards him looking at his eye. A round shade of purple and red circled his left eye. "Your eye is bruised."
"I'll be fine, I guess." He lowered his head looking upset.
"No, you should go to the nurse's office to get it checked. Why were those guys hitting you anyways?" I asked,
"Well as you could her them say I'm a worthless piece of shit and an emo faggot. My secret kinda got out…" He said hiding his face.
"Huh? What secret?" could it be what I was thinking?
"Well..umm… I'm….well gay." he answered in doubt. I knew it!
"Oh, but they still shouldn't treat you that way because of that. And well I am too." I answered with a friendly smile. Frank's eyes lit up and he smiled back at me.
"Well I have to get to class, I'm running late.: He said in a hurry.
"Oh shit yeah, ok bye."
"Here's my number call me after school if you want to hang out I guess."
"Ok. Thanks." I think I might have smiled a bit too big because Frank left with a soft, adorable chuckle.
I rushed upstairs to my room in excitement. "I'm home!" I shouted to let my mom know I was home. I looked for Frank's number, Picked up the phone and dialed. A sweet soothing voice answered. "Hello?"
"Hi! Its me, Gerard."
"Oh hi Gerard!" I could hear him smile.
"Soo I was wondering….I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out?"
"Yeah! Where?" I could hear his excitement.
"Meet me at the park?"
" Ok see you there." we hung up. I grabbed my jacket and headed outside.
The afternoon was cold but children were still playing at the park. "Hey Gerard!" I heard Frank from a distance. I stood up from the bench turned around.
"Hi!" I smiled. We walked and talked about life. When I looked into his eyes I released that I might have already fallen in love. I loved the way he talked to
me, the way we communicated , understood each other. His eyes, his lips, his hair, every single thing about him was extraordinary. Even though it sounds crazy to have fallen in love with him in such a short time, I did. He amused me, he made me feel so happy. While we were walking I stopped him. We turned and faced each other. We looked into each other's eyes. I didn't know if he felt the same way about me as I did for him. I wasn't sure if this would ruin our friendship but I held his face, moved closer to him and our lips pressed together. I kissed him and to my surprise he kissed back. The kiss was so magical, I felt like I was melting. Hr wrapped his arms around me and I wish that moment lasted forever. We stopped kissing and I said "Frank….I think I love you." he looked into my eyes and started blushing.
"I don't think I love you, I know I love you." and with that he leaned in again and kissed me. He left me speechless. Frank opened his eyes and stopped kissing me. His mouth wide open in surprise.
"Frank? What's wrong?" I asked clueless.
"Gerard! Run!" he screamed.
"Wha-" I turned around and saw the guys from school that were beating up Frank. They were all holding bats and their eyes filled with seemed as if they were looking for me. I took hold of Frank's hand and ran. We ran past cars, people, buildings until we were out breathe in an alley way. I thought that the guys had lost us out of sight. I hugged Frank tightly and kissed him on the cheek. Next thing I knew someone had hit my back with a bat. I fell to the ground in pain. I saw Frank trying to fight them off but they were too many. They knocked him out and continued to beat me. My nose was bleeding and my whole body ached. Then I saw one of the guys pull out a gun. I heard a gun shot and screamed in pain. I got shot once on the chest. Everything went black after that.
I dreamed about holding Frank. His hazel stunning eyes looking straight through me. Our hands touching and lips locked together. We opened our eyes saw guns pointing at us. Blood started running. And what was once paradise turned into dark Hell. We heard whispers of hateful words. Then I felt hands grasp my neck and choke me. That's when I woke up. "Gerard?"I heard a sweet peaceful voice call my name. I opened my eyes and saw Frank with another black eye and a broken arm. I looked around, I was laying on a hospital bed.
"Frank! What happened?!Are you ok?!" I had so many questions to be answered.
"I'm fine, just a broken arm. Axel and his gang found us and beat us. They broke your ribs and nose. They also…well they shot you once on your chest. The doctors say it's nothing serious. Thankfully the bullet didn't go in so deep. You just need rest. Do you feel alright?" he looked worried.
"Well my whole body hurts as well as my head but I'll be alright." I assured him. He kissed my forehead and lips.
"I'm sorry." he looked so sad and regretful.
"Huh? For what?"
"I'm sorry I brought you into all this mess. It's my fault. Everything is. If it weren't for me your nose and ribs wouldn't be broken and you wouldn't be close to death. I'm so sorry."
"No, it's not your fault Frank. I don't care if I get killed as long as it's for you. I don't care if I have to die for you. I love you, ok."I smiled at him.
"I love you too." he kissed me again. Words couldn't explain how happy he made me. He was amazing. I truly did love him. I didn't care if I was lying on a hospital bed in pain, he was aLL i needed to complete me.
I was fully recovered a month later. Axel and his friends got arrested for 'attempt of murder'. Since he was already 18 he got charged 20 years of prison because he was the one who pulled out the gun and shot me. All the other ones inly got 5 years for witnessing and joining into the crime.
Frank and I has almost 2 years of dating. We decided to move in together. Everything was perfect until one day. I got home from my crappy job. I walked in and everything was dark except for the bathroom light. I heard a desperate sob come from the bathroom. I heard glass break. I ran to the bathroom and found Frank on the bathroom floor. Tears streamed dow is face, blood ran down his wrists and hands. He had broken the bathroom mirror and cut his hands open. I saw 5 razor blades lying next to him. I looked at Frank who looked afraid now. I felt tears trickle down my cheeks. "Frank? Baby, what's wrong?" I was devastated. I felt horrible watching him so hopeless, desperate, and lonely lying on the floor. All he said was,
"I'm not ok." and continued to sob. I looked around and saw an empty bottle of Vodka and pills on the floor. I ran to him and hugged him.
"Please tell me you didn't do it. Please tell me yo didn't take any pills, please. I need you." I started crying heavily.
"I didn't… I was going to..but..I was too scared.." I hugged him tighter, and held his hand and looked at his damaged wrist.
"Why?" I looked back and forth at his wrist and then at him.
"I can't the it anymore. I'm so tired…so tired of breathing. Im fighting with myself but I always end up loosing. I need to go."
"No! I need you! You can't leave me. I love you. I'll help you through this." I kissed him. "Everything will be alright. I"ll stay strong for you, I promise." I kissed his forehead. "How long have you been doing this?"
"I think..I think since middle school.." he cried even harder. How could I not have noticed how broken he was. How was I so naive . He has been in so much pain for years, and I never…I never even noticed. I hated myself so much for this.
"Why didn't you tell me anything about this Frank?!" tears rushed down my face like a storm of pain.
"I …I don't know.. I didn't want to drag you down with my misery…I'm sorry." I kissed his forehead again and held his face in my hands.
"I love you Frank. PLease stop doing this."
"I can't….It doesn't matter Im a worthless piece of shit anyways!"
"No you're not! Don't ever say that again you mean more than the world to me. I'd die without you. I'd go insane. I need you in my life. You have no clue how much I love you!" Tears ran down our faces. Frank looked into my eyes wiped my tears away and said,
"You don't deserve to be in this much pain because of me."
"I don't care if I'm in pain…I'm not. I'm going to stay with you, I'd even take a bullet for you. I love you." I wiped off his tears away as well, he leaned in and kissed me.
"Thank you, I love you." he whispered into my ear.
I cleaned the blood off of his fists and wrists. Picked up the broken glass and pills. When I was done Frank and I hugged and kissed each other until we fell asleep.
I woke up and saw that Frank wasn't lying next to me. It was still dark out, I stood up and went to look for him but he wasn't anywhere in the house. He was standing over the balcony. "Frank!" I yelled. My heart was racing, I was terrified. I had never been that scared ever in my life. He turned around with tears rolling down his face.
"I have to go." he said with so much peace in his eyes.
"What?! No! Don't!" I ran to him and pulled him back. Once we were inside I opened a cabinet droor and pulled out a pistol. I placed its cold metal against my head, "You're not leaving without me." I said. He took the gun away and said,
"I'm sorry Gerard, I love you. So long and goodbye." He pulled the trigger he landed on the floor, a puddle of blood started to form. At that moment my heart shattered into a million little pieces. I got the gun, layed next to his still slow breathing body. I pulled the trigger. I held his hand, we looked into each others eyes and I said,
"I love you….even..until..de-"