AN- Any quotes in italics are taken directly from the book 'Fifty Shades Darker'. Enjoy! :)
Voices begin to filter into my dreams and I squirm uncomfortably as I feel the blankets tangle around my legs, I snuggle closer into the pillow as I slip my hands underneath the pillow before my eyes suddenly flutter open when the sounds of raised voices and hammering footsteps become closer and louder. It takes my brain a few seconds to react to the situation and I suddenly sit up straight in the unfamiliar bedroom as my eyes scan the dimly lit room before settling on the walk-in closet, quietly climbing off the bed as I reach under the bed and grasp the arm of my trench-coat which I quickly throw over my shoulders while my feet shakily lead me into the adjoining closet.
I drop down onto my hands and knees and crawl further into the huge closet as I try to find a place to hide before I wince when my knee presses against a discarded metal button on the floor, I gently flick it out of the way and continue to glance around until I notice a small gap between a long, low shelf and the floor which should be big enough for me to slide under although I need to be careful because I don't doubt that the apartment will be thoroughly searched and I can't be found, not yet. I just needed that time to sleep, to feel close to Master, to strengthen my resolve.
"Check the upstairs, I'll look down h-" My body freezes when I hear Taylor stop mid-sentence before I wince when I hear his voice ring out across the rooms, once again "Luke! I fucking told you to keep Mr Grey and Miss Steele outside until I gave you the all cle-" I blink rapidly as I feel my heartbeat increase when I hear Master's name before I quickly scurry into the small space, hidden by the darkness although I know there is a high chance of me being found in here.
"Taylor! What the fuck happened?" I squeak in surprise when I hear Master's angry voice before I clamp my hand over my mouth to avoid me inadvertently giving away my hiding place, I have to suppress a giggle when I notice that the situation is just like a strange game of hide and seek although the stakes are much higher if I'm found because I won't get the option of going back home, not this time.
"As you know, Sir, Miss Steele's car was targeted" I feel a smile pull at my lips as I listen to the conversation "I don't believe that she would attempt to enter the apartment but I want to do a full sweep and check"
"It can't be her" Master argues in a disbelieving tone "She left the fucking city. Sawyer watched her board the plane!" I can almost see Master drag his hands through his hair and I can feel the guilt unfurl in my stomach as I squirm on the carpet, my t-shirt has climbed up my back slightly and I can feel the carpet rub against my abdomen but I force my tears back and remind myself of the future that we will be able to have because of my actions "Tell me, she boarded the fucking plane" Master's angry voice roars out moments later and I can only imagine that my plan didn't go as well as I had originally thought.
"Yes, she boarded the plane but, due to this stunt, Sawyer is beginning to worry that she perhaps didn't stay on the plane to the destination" I feel my breathing begin to quicken as my earlier tears trickle down my cheeks, they weren't supposed to know that I was here, in and out, it was simple.
"Why am I the last person to fucking know this?" Master hisses angrily and I can imagine him pacing the floor, running his strong hands through his messy hair, his grey eyes burning as his mind tries to decipher everything that happened although it's quite simple, at least for me "Are you sure that Anastasia's car was hit, tonight?"
"Yes, Sir. I have someone pulling up the CCTV from the car park but I'm certain that it was tonight" Fuck, why didn't I think about that? "Reynolds is checking outside and I'm going to do another sweep of this floor"
"Fine" Master spits out "I'll check the upstairs" Master adds quickly which causes me to let out a silent sigh of relief, knowing that it will be easier to keep quiet and hide if Master isn't going to be near although Taylor will probably check out the apartment more thoroughly "If you find her, don't hurt her, she'll ill and that's partly down to me" I feel my heart clench at these words, one because it proves that he still cares about me, even if he won't admit it himself, his voice is strong, controlling and confident but I can hear a different undertone lacing his words especially when he speaks about Anastasia, it's a tone that I didn't hear very often except for the very few times that he let details slip about his childhood, he sounds like a scared, worried little boy struggling in the big world.
I hear Master's shoes pound on the stairs as he quickly makes his way up the staircase, I assume, towards the playroom since that is where he caught me last time although I hadn't planned to end up there, I was just drawn there, it's where I belong "All clear" Master voice calls out strongly, only moments later and I let out a silent sigh of relief but I know that I can't stay under here forever and I have to find a way out, quickly.
"How the fuck can you tell?" I gasp as Master's voice hits my ears moments later and slowly begin to realize that i'm only hearing one part of the conversation "No, check with her psychiatrist. I don't fucking care about confidentiality! I want a breakdown of everything that she said in that meeting" Master barks angrily "I want to know exactly where she is and if she anywhere near here then Sawyer is out on his ass" Master shouts angrily and I squirm uncomfortably, again because I realize that it will only be a matter of time until he discovers the truth and finds me "Anastasia doesn't hear about this, clear?" Master orders angrily and I tilt my head slightly in confusion, why does he keep secrets from her? Is that a normal feature in relationships?
I hear the-girl-who-looks-like-me's voice filter into my thoughts before a bright light illuminates the walk-in closet, I cover my mouth with my hand and attempt to breathe through my nose as I watch a pair of black shoes walk across the floor, they stop in front of me momentarily before he bends at his knees and squats down barely a few inches away from my hiding place, so close that I smell his aftershave "Mr Grey's bedroom is clear, T" I hear this relieving sentence before I watch in silence as he slowly exits the room, plunging it back into darkness before closing the door.
"Why would she be here?" My eyes widen slightly as Anastasia's voice hits my ears, she sounds confused about the situation and almost intrigued by my actions but she will understand one day, the day that our lives will switch and I will own her place in Master's heart.
"Exactly" Master agrees in an almost disbelieving tone, he knows the reason that I am here, I need him.
"Could she get in?" Anastasia questions curiously, trying to quell her fears but it's unnecessary. I don't intend to harm either of them, especially the-girl-who-looks-like-me. I simply want to be happy, I want to make Master smile, laugh and feel the happiness spread through my body when I know that I have pleased him.
I want him to love me.
"I don't see how. But Taylor is overcautious sometimes"
I hear the-girl-who-looks-like-me's voice drop to a whisper, I inch forward slightly hoping that it will somehow allow me to hear her better.
"Yes, it's locked – but Taylor and I checked" My brow creases slightly as I try to discover the question that had been asked but it could be a number of places, I assume inside the apartment "Do you want a drink or anything?" I let out a silent growl and shift slightly trying to become more comfortable, accidentally causing a loosely hung dress to slip off it's hanger and land down at my side, luckily the hanger didn't fall down with it, causing the event to be almost completely silent.
"No" Anastasia answers and I suddenly feel anxiety flood through my veins but I force myself to take deep, calming albeit silent breaths. I force my mind back to different scenes in the playroom when I had been blindfolded, tied to the bed and throbbing with need and desire while Master would, ever so gently, touch me with one soft finger or an implement then walk away before landing a hard smack on my backside, if I hadn't learned to allow myself to fall into a different head-space then I would have displeased Master and ruined the scene but I slowly learned that controlling my breathing and completely trusting Master was an important part of it. Knowing that he would never truly hurt me.. at least not physically.
"Come. Let me put you to bed. You look exhausted" Fuck! I try to squeeze myself further into the small space that I have found myself confined into before my breath catches in my throat when I hear Master's bedroom door open, it doesn't creak but instead gently 'swishes' open as it barely brushes across the carpet. I jump when I feel something tickle my right hand, my eyes immediately fly towards it, worrying that I am now trapped with a spider or something equally creepy but when I look down I only see a single tear fall down the side of my hand.
I quickly reach up and feel my cheeks which are wet with tears, my exhausted body wants to give into my hurt and simply allow myself to cry it out, to allow myself to be held by Master, even just for a few seconds but I pinch myself and mentally shake my head clearing away the fog of my upset. A lifetime and a family with Master is more important than five seconds of comfort.
"Here. I don't know if you want to read this. I want to ignore it"
"I'm not sure what blanks she can fill in" She? Master sounds slightly fed-up but he quickly dismisses the subject "I need to talk to Taylor" Master announces a moment later and I feel the panic unfurl in my stomach but I manage to keep myself silent "Let me unzip your dress" Master adds in a gentle tone, it seems to slowly fall from his lips and wrap around me like a warm, safe cocoon although I know that tone of voice isn't meant for me…yet.
"Are you going to call the police about the car?" I feel tears sting my eyes and I begin to mentally plead with Master to answer 'no', he doesn't realize the obvious fact yet and I just need a little longer to help show him.
I hold my breath as I wait to hear his answer although I know there is a chance that he won't tell her the truth, he doesn't want her to know about me "No" I feel my head drop onto the carpet in relief "I don't want the police involved. Leila needs help, not police intervention, and I don't want them here. We just have to double our efforts to find her" Master explains calmly and I feel a warmth of relief flood through my body, mixing with my earlier anxiety. I know that I still have to get out without being seen but hearing Master talk about me in such a gentle tone, makes me feel more confident especially since I know that Escala is already on my side "Go to bed" I smile weakly when I hear Master's normal tone return before I listen curiously as I hear him exit the bedroom, leaving me alone with the-girl-who-looks-like-me.
A short time later, I believe about forty minutes but it's difficult to tell without being able to check my watch, I could use my cell phone to allow me the light that I need to see it but I don't want to spook the, now sleeping, Anastasia. I've noticed that she is very quiet when she sleeps unlike Master who frequently screamed, shouted, tossed and turned in his sleep although he changed the subject whenever I spoke about it.
I haven't heard Master re-enter the room and decide that this is probably my best chance at getting out without being seen, I gently and silently slip myself out from my hiding place before pushing myself up onto my shaky legs which ache from being stuck in such a small area, my left foot has become numb and I gently try to shake feeling back into it as I tip-toe out into Master's bedroom. My eyes take a second to adjust to the darkness of the bedroom, it's one of the only rooms in the apartment that I don't know well and I unfortunately have to use my hands to feel around the wall and silently hope that I don't bang into anything.
I can barely make out her shape on the bed which is shrouded in darkness but I can see that she is laying on her side, tangled up in the covers with one leg laying out of the blankets, one arm tucked safely underneath the pillow that she is resting her head on, her brown hair lazily laying on the right side of her head. I wonder what she is dreaming about and slightly tilt my head as I slowly begin to realize that she is doing similar to what I was doing earlier, she is hugging Master's pillow to her chest while she rests her cheek on a very small corner of it, i'm not sure why but the image causes me to smile before I have to resist the urge to pull it out of her arms and run out of the apartment with it in my thin arms because I know that it would help me to sleep.
My feet slowly begin to drag me closer to the bed until I find myself blocked by the end of the bed, my knees lean against the frame as I reach up with one hand and begin to nervously wrap a lock of hair around my finger before I step back suddenly when Anastasia stirs slightly in her sleep. I blink and shift my weight onto my right leg as I continue to watch her because I can feel the pins and needles begin to creep up my left leg towards my knee.
"Christian" The-girl-who-looks-like-me mutters sleepily as she throws out her left arm and sub-consciously spreads her arm across the matters, I assume hoping to find Master laying there with her. I suddenly want to reach out and wrap my cold hand around her warm hand, to feel her warmth but I manage to stop myself by stuffing my hands into the pockets of my trench-coat as I tilt my head and my mind races with questions. I stare at her for a moment longer, hoping that I will somehow see into her mind, her thoughts, her dreams...but only her toes twitch lightly as she curls herself up tighter at the edge of the bed.
"Why?" I whisper quietly in such a soft tone that I begin to wonder if the words actually left my mouth or simply stayed safely inside my head. The question is quickly answered when I notice the-girl-who-looks-like-me stir and reach up with one hand to rub her tired eyes, every part of my brain is screaming at me to leave but I can't, even when I see her sleepily reach over to flick on the bedside lamp and flood the small area of the room around it with light.